The Temple of Light and My Absolutely Cursed Job

I drew the attention of everyone around me and obtained a new job.

The next morning, I woke up screaming.

"Aaaaaagh! I'm insane! I'm a fucking lunatic!!"

The moment my eyes opened, I thrashed wildly on the old bed, kicking the blankets in every direction. The memory of last night hit me like a truck—me burying my face in those stinky socks, bucking my hips like a pathetic degenerate as I came. The sheer humiliation made me want to bite my own tongue and die, but my stomach's growling was far more honest than my fragile pride. I hadn't eaten anything yesterday.

"...Let's eat something first and think later..."

I threw on whatever clothes were nearby and headed down to the first-floor dining area of the inn.

"Oh my, if it isn't our pretty little bedwetter young master. You awake, sweetie? Want some food?"

The thick-armed innkeeper, Masha, who had been at the counter yesterday, grinned at me with friendly warmth. My face burned with shame at that unfair nickname, but I forced myself to act like I hadn't heard it and handed over some of the silver coins I had left.

"Ahem. Yes... Just something that can fill me up, please."

I sat down at a corner table and was absentmindedly watching Masha ladle out stew when an information window suddenly popped up above her head.

'Huh? Her name is green. Does that mean she's a non-aggressive friendly NPC? The interface really is intuitive. But wait a second... Level 25?!'

The thug girls who had brutally violated me in the alley yesterday were only level 18 and 20. Yet the lady running a neighborhood inn was level 25? I cautiously asked Masha as she set the thin meat stew in front of me.

"Um, excuse me, ma'am. Your level is really high...? Do you hunt monsters in your spare time while running the inn?"

"Monsters? Hahaha! How did you know my level was high?" Her answer didn't quite match the question, so I tried to play it off. "Ahaha... I, I heard it from rumors! That your level is incredibly high..."

"Why would I catch those gross things? Do I look like I have time to smash heads with a pot lid?"

Masha laughed heartily and planted her large palm on her hip.

"Looks like our young master grew up sheltered like a little noble and doesn't know much about the real world yet. Now that I think about it, you must've run away from home or done something rebellious yesterday." She placed the stew in front of me, sat down in the seat beside mine, and continued. "People have all sorts of jobs. Of course, some folks only ever have one their whole lives."

"Ah, yes..."

"Right. It's nothing to brag about, but after I hit level 20 as a Cook for my first class, I got a second class as an Innkeeper. If you work hard and build up proficiency, your level rises naturally."

"Oh, so even without fighting monsters, you can level up through life skills and proficiency... And multiple classes too..."

"That's right! I've been cooking and taking care of guests without a single day off for twenty years, so my cooking proficiency and inn management proficiency maxed out and I reached level 25. Even though I've never swung a sword, there's no one in this neighborhood who can chop onions faster than me."

Masha proudly puffed out her chest, then added in a more serious tone.

"But having a high level isn't always a good thing. Like I said, my level is purely from life experience—cooking and serving customers. I don't have a single combat skill to my name. Even at level 25, I'd get absolutely wrecked by anyone with a proper combat class. I'd lose to some rookie swordsman or thug who's ten levels below me."

"Ah... So the difference between life classes and combat classes is crystal clear. In the end, level is just a numerical representation of someone's experience and abilities."

"Exactly! Smart kid. That's why someone like you—completely broke with no proper job yet—shouldn't be acting all high and mighty about making money right away. You should head straight to the Temple of Light in the center of town."

"The temple?"

"Yep! If you want to make an honest living in this world, you need to receive a baptism at the temple and get a proper job from a priest who has been granted authority by the gods. Once you have a job, if it's a life class you can work in the village, and if it's a combat class you can register at the adventurers' guild and go hunt slimes or gather herbs."

After listening to Masha's explanation, everything finally made perfect sense.

That was when it happened.

Ding.

'Nice. Since Na-ri has at least some conscience and even changed my appearance like this, she's probably set me up with an absolutely broken overpowered class. She's gonna give me something insane so I can pay back all this humiliation.'

"Thank you! I'll head to the temple right away!"

I gulped down the rest of the stew like I was dying of thirst and immediately left the inn.

Following the guidance line on the minimap the system had displayed, I walked toward the center of the village. Leaving the narrow, shabby back alleys and stepping into the bustling main street, I saw a massive white marble building shining sacredly in the distance under the sunlight.

"Whoa... It's beautiful..."

Tall spires reaching toward the sky and gorgeous stained glass. It was a majestic structure that screamed "temple" to anyone who looked at it.

I took a deep breath and approached the two holy knights standing guard at the entrance. They were clad in silver armor with their faces completely hidden behind helmets.

"Excuse me, I'm here to receive a job blessing. Where should I go?"

When I asked hesitantly, the knight on the left looked at my face and—

"..."

Both of them froze solid like statues. I could see their eyes trembling violently through the slits in their helmets.

"U-um...?"

Wondering if they were ignoring me, I called out again, feeling depressed.

"Hellooo...?"

"Ah! Y-yes! I'm so sorry! You must be a little lamb here to receive a job baptism! Please go inside, turn right, and keep walking. You'll find the priest and the chapel altar there!!"

They both seemed to be women. After speaking to me, they started whispering to each other.

"What do I do... Should I confess? To me?"

"It looks like a green light! What do I do!! Do you have any money saved?"

"...Excuse me."

The knight on the left trembled and stepped closer to me.

"Yes! How can I help you?!"

"...Can I pass through now?"

"Ah."

Only then did the two snap out of it. They cleared their throats loudly and hurriedly stepped aside to let me through.

...

I stepped past the temple's massive arched doors. The moment I entered, the fragrant and sacred scent ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of incense brushed my nose, and a solemn atmosphere enveloped my entire body. I followed the path to the right as the knight had instructed. After walking a bit, the chapel came into view. The instant I stepped inside, every single person—priests and nuns praying or moving about busily, nobles who had come to pray—froze in place. And every gaze in the temple turned toward me at once.

'Ah, that crazy bitch Na-ri customized me like this, so of course I'm drawing attention everywhere I go.'

A fatally decadent pretty boy with skin as pale as moonlight and mysteriously red lips had appeared in the middle of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the temple. It was only natural that he'd attract aggro. Even I had nearly fallen for myself when I saw that embarrassing photo last time. Especially the young nuns—they started making the sign of the cross while looking at my face, then blushed. Some women, and even a few pot-bellied men, blatantly scanned my body with strangely sticky, lustful eyes.

I did my best to ignore the blatant stares pouring down on me and headed toward the platform labeled "Job Guidance Station" in the center of the temple.

A middle-aged priest wearing neat clerical robes stood there with a gentle smile. In front of him floated a transparent, radiant crystal orb about the size of a human head, radiating sacred power as it hovered half a span in the air.

"Welcome to the embrace of the gods, young lamb. Have you come to receive a job baptism?"

"Ah, yes. I'd like to receive a job blessing."

"You've come to the right place. Place both hands comfortably on this sacred baptismal artifact. The gods will see through your soul and potential and show you the most suitable path."

Following the priest's guidance, I swallowed dryly.

'If it's my potential... Well, I'm the protagonist of a VR game after all. Surely I'll get something crazy like a hidden class, Sword Saint, or Archmage—some insane multi-class setup, right?'

With swelling anticipation, I slowly placed both hands on the radiant crystal orb floating in the air.

Vrrrrrm—

At that moment, the crystal orb began vibrating wildly, emitting a brilliant and holy golden light that seemed ready to swallow the entire chapel. A pillar of light so intense it was impossible to keep my eyes open shot straight up toward the ceiling.

"Ooh...! Ooooooh!!"

The priest fell to his knees, shaking like a leaf, and let out a cry of pure shock. The surrounding nuns and priests stared with their mouths wide open, completely lost in the overwhelming spectacle of light.

"I-it's a miracle! Such a brilliant and enormous reaction from the sacred artifact hasn't been seen in a hundred years! This must be the job of an incredible hero like the legendary Holy Knight or Apostle of Light...!"

'See! Na-ri didn't abandon me after all...! Yeah, I have to be a munchkin! That's how it's supposed to be!'

"Ahem. You may look forward to this with great expectation."

I barely held back the laughter threatening to burst out and puffed up with pride. This was the moment the broken, humiliating suffering I'd endured would be completely overturned by an insanely overpowered class.

Ding!

Along with the most extravagant and cheerful notification sound, golden letters rose brilliantly above the crystal orb. A massive red holographic window unfolded in the center of the chapel so that everyone could see it.

The people's expectations grew larger and larger. On the other hand, the moment I read the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠system's snide additional text, a chill ran down my spine.

"Ooooh...! Finally, even in this place... such a magnificent—"

"..."

The once sacred and noisy interior of the temple froze over in an instant, as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on it. The priest, who had been cheering about a miracle just moments ago, dropped his jaw with a loud clack. He pointed a trembling finger at the hologram floating in the air, his lips quivering violently.

"F-first class... Apprentice Porter...? Second... Human Furniture...? M-mana dispeeeeeenser?! P-prostitute...?!"

Crack—

At the same time, the crystal orb split apart and shattered completely.

The priest's eyes rolled back into his head.

"Guhk...!"

The priest's eyes rolled back into his head. The moment such vulgar words echoed inside the holy temple, the sacred crystal orb that had contained divine power screamed as it cracked and exploded. The priest foamed at the mouth and collapsed onto the marble floor.

"P-priest!!! Quickly, call for help!! W-what kind of perverted sex demon has possessed this soul...!!"

The young nuns' eyes hardened with shock for a moment, then they began whispering among themselves while staring at my face and crotch. Their gazes mixed contempt with a strange, greedy lust.

"Oh my, they said porter, but it looks like the job is about carrying something else with his body..."

"With a face like that... becoming a prostitute? What a waste of looks..."

"Choi Na-ri, you demonic bitch!!!!"

I collapsed in front of the now-empty sacred artifact, slammed my forehead against the cold marble floor, and wailed.