The Golden Boy's Circumstances
The sun had already dipped low, and two hours had passed since I sent Jack back outside. I was still lost in a haze of pure bliss, clutching the teddy bear tightly, rolling across the floor, and punching the air with my fists.
"This feels amazing!"
Finally, all my hard work was beginning to bear fruit. To think I'd actually managed to pull those words from that blockhead's mouth—that he liked me.
"Seriously, why did you have to play so hard to get?"
If he was going to fall for me eventually anyway, he could've just accepted me from the start instead of pushing me away like that. ...Or maybe it was precisely because I kept charging forward that he was slowly starting to give in? Either way, this was a massive step forward. Well done, Lucia!
'Hehe, maybe I'm actually a descendant of a succubus?'
The kind that could seduce someone with nothing but their voice. That guy who built iron walls against pretty much every woman—whether he meant to or not—was gradually opening his heart to me. It was only reasonable to suspect I might have some special charm.
'I am pretty attractive, after all!'
Golden hair that shimmered like it had captured the sun's rays. Lightly tanned skin that radiated healthy vitality. A slightly sharp impression on the surface, but hiding a soft and warm personality underneath. Up until now, he'd acted so completely uninterested in me that I'd even started doubting my own appeal a little. But...
'Well, he fell for me in the end, didn't he?'
It wasn't that I lacked charm. Jack was just a bit weird. I reached that conclusion and was cheerfully stomping my feet when a sudden unpleasant thought crossed my mind. The smile that had been plastered across my face vanished in an instant.
'I heard how he feels, but...'
If we kept maintaining this kind of relationship... No, it's not that this isn't enough. I'm genuinely happy with things as they are. But...
'I want us to compliment each other like a normal couple, act all lovey-dovey, and touch naturally without worrying about it.'
And then we'd go on dates, and when it got too late to head home, we'd have no choice but to share a bed...
...Anyway, that's the kind of thing I want to do. But to make that happen, this vague "more than friends but less than lovers" stage wasn't going to cut it. It was obvious we needed clear progress in our relationship. The problem was figuring out exactly how to achieve that progress.
'Looking at how Jack behaves, the limit of how close I can get by just aggressively pursuing him is right about here.'
He'd drawn a clear line around his own heart and seemed determined to push me back whenever I tried to cross it. The closer we'd gotten recently, the more I'd noticed him deliberately trying to distance me, as if he were trying to hide his true feelings. The emotions hidden behind those actions weren't just simple embarrassment—they were a gloomy mix of various negative feelings.
Therefore, if I wanted to advance our relationship further, I had to somehow overturn that line he'd drawn and tear it to shreds.
'The reason Jack keeps drawing that line and pushing me away is probably...'
Because I'd stolen Heidi's boyfriend or potential love interest. That's right—Jack had an extreme aversion to the very act of stealing someone else's partner. I could understand hating cheating and NTR, but I couldn't quite figure out why he despised it to such an intense degree. There had to be some trigger that made his feelings spiral to such extremes, but I couldn't think of what it might be.
'...Did his ex-girlfriend cheat on him and that's why they broke up?'
Honestly, that was the only thing that came to mind right now. It didn't make sense that anyone would cheat on such a perfect guy, but... well, that was just my opinion. Other women might see things differently.
'...Still doesn't make sense to me.'
To cheat on a man who could make you feel this good just by sitting and thinking about him? That woman had to be an ungrateful piece of trash. I hope she gets struck by lightning while walking down the street.
'Hmm, so is he worried that I might cheat on him once we start dating?'
I didn't like the idea that Jack had experience with other women besides me, but this explanation seemed somewhat plausible. If the woman he'd given his pure heart to had a history of cheating and that's why they'd broken up, then his reluctance toward me made sense.
'Stealing someone and giving yourself to someone else are two sides of the same coin, after all.'
So it was entirely possible he was lumping me together with that trash in his mind. Even though my persistent affection had cracked his heart open a little, thoughts of that garbage kept resurfacing, making him try to hide his feelings for me.
I had absolutely zero intention of ever cheating on Jack, but if that's what he thought, I'd have to make sure he couldn't think that way anymore.
'First, I need to find some kind of proof that I won't cheat...'
I had to show him that I was properly reflecting on the sins I'd committed in the past. Jack wouldn't like a woman with too much baggage, so I'd have to handle things in a way that didn't make him feel burdened by it.
'...And then there's the person I wronged—the childhood friend of the man I love.'
I needed to apologize to Heidi, who must have gone through so much sadness because of me. Honestly, I didn't even understand why I'd hated her so blindly. Jealousy over her talent was only a secondary reason. It seemed like I'd simply hated the fact that she was close to Jack.
Instead of just approaching him myself, why had I done all those childish things to torment her?
'When did I start liking Jack, anyway...?'
Thinking back, it probably started when we crossed paths a few times in middle academy. The reasons... his slightly delicate, youthful face was exactly my type. I liked his kind way of speaking, the consideration he showed everyone, and the basic politeness that seemed ingrained in him.
'This part is kind of a dark history when I think about it again...'
I'd rationalized it by telling myself it couldn't be helped since he was Heidi's childhood friend. During physical activities like sparring or practical training, I'd secretly steal glances at that kind face and the wild body hidden beneath it. Honestly, that was probably what truly captured my heart.
The way his muscles showed through his thin shirt was absolutely killer... Wait, hold on.
'...Now that I'm saying it out loud, I sound like a total pervert.'
No, no. Guys look at women's bodies all the time, so it's perfectly natural for me to get excited looking at a guy's physique! Plenty of other female students had been captivated by that sight, so it wasn't just me.
Besides, that guy had zero immunity to women. His body would tremble at the slightest touch.
'It's completely... arousing... I mean, of course I'd like it.'
I nodded quietly to myself before suddenly snapping back to reality. I'd meant to think about apologizing to Heidi—when had my thoughts drifted this far? I hurriedly checked the clock and noticed the hour hand had moved another notch since I'd started thinking about Jack.
I really am hopeless. Had I been lost in these thoughts for a whole hour?
'Anyway, objectively speaking, Heidi did nothing wrong.'
The big mistake she'd made before knowing how I felt, and what I'd done to her—I could define it like that. From the middle onward, Heidi had gotten competitive too. Even though she wasn't particularly interested, she'd deliberately started dating other guys, and I'd lured them away using money and my charm.
'Ugh, just thinking about those guys again is annoying.'
It wasn't my place to say, but I could somewhat understand Jack's hatred for people who cheated. Those pathetic bastards had gotten obsessed with me, tried to force themselves on me... The only one allowed to do that to me was Jack. How dare those worthless creeps even look my way?
Even back then, though I hadn't realized it, my heart had already been set on one person for a long time. That's why I'd kept as much distance as possible from those guys I wasn't interested in...
'Wait a second...'
If I flipped the genders, wasn't this basically the same as me aggressively pursuing Jack? A guy who cheated suddenly becoming obsessed with me... What a shitty situation.
'This is insane.'
It seemed I understood things faster when thinking about them from someone else's perspective. It was the same when I'd realized my feelings for Jack last time, and now again. But thinking about it this way was horrifying. I'd somehow managed to escape their obsession, but...
Had Jack been thinking these kinds of things every time he looked at me? That was... pretty sad.
'No, but still...'
Since Jack had said he liked me too, he probably didn't feel the same way I felt about those guys who were obsessed with me. He couldn't.
'Ugh...'
I bit my nails for no reason, pacing back and forth around the room, until a thought finally made me let out a deep sigh. I quietly looked up at the ceiling.
'...Jack, I miss you so much.'
It had only been a few hours since we'd parted, but I was already craving his warm embrace. I wanted to bury my face in his firm chest, breathe in his scent deeply, and rub against him. I wanted to be petted like a puppy and stay wrapped in his arms with an ecstatic expression on my face.
'I'm going crazy...'
It felt like I'd become addicted. Would withdrawal symptoms start kicking in soon? I had no idea how I'd ended up falling so hard for a guy. If I could tell my past self—who hadn't realized any of this—about it, she'd probably call it nonsense and immediately swing a club at whoever said it.
"I really... love you..."
Once again today, I whispered words that couldn't reach him, then quietly crawled into bed and curled up into a tight ball. Fortunately, his scent still lingered there, not yet completely faded.