Wake Up, Premature Bitches
Ian and Arcia turned away from the collapsed path and changed direction. They headed deeper into the labyrinth along another passage. They ran into a few hobgoblin packs along the way, but nothing major. Arcia took care of most of them with ease.
Pillars of fire erupted, lightning flashed and pierced goblin skulls. It was hardly worth calling a fight.
After a few skirmishes, the passage suddenly widened. The narrow, dark tunnel ended, opening into a vast cavern. The ceiling loomed much higher, and the floor bore scratches everywhere—like scars from ancient battles.
Arcia glanced around and said, “This is the boss room.”
The first-floor boss: the Goblin Queen. Among adventurers, this place was known as the Spawning Ground.
The Goblin Queen laid countless eggs, from which hordes of goblins hatched. But right now, the cavern was empty—not even an ant in sight. Just shattered, dead eggs.
“The boss respawns the day the dungeon first opens,” Arcia said, staring at the center of the cavern.
“So... it's not here now?” Ian asked.
It was common knowledge, but better to confirm.
Arcia nodded. “Yeah. That's why you have to time it right.”
At this rate, they wouldn't run into the first-floor boss anytime soon.
“So, what now?” Arcia asked.
Ian had two choices: push forward to the second floor, or backtrack and stick to the first.
It didn't take long to decide.
“Let's go to the second floor.”
“Got it.”
The two headed toward the massive door at the far end of the Spawning Ground. It was made of thick metal, like a city gate. Arcia casually gripped the lever beside it.
Clunk.
The lever dropped. Rumble— The huge door slowly rose.
Inside stretched a dark passage, no different from the labyrinth so far. Arcia stepped in first.
“By the way, this area's a safe zone.”
Ian scanned the passage as he followed. Thud! The door slammed shut behind them the moment they were inside.
Ian turned. “...It closes automatically.”
“Yeah.” Arcia tapped the door. “Only adventurers can pass. It seals if monsters get close, or so they say.”
“Magic?”
“Nah.” Arcia shrugged. “Some ancient tech, I guess. I don't know the details. Definitely not magic.”
Ian eyed the door for a moment, then nodded. “Fits the dungeon.”
Arcia grinned. “That's why people go nuts diving in.”
She pointed deep into the passage. “Portal to the second floor at the end.”
Ian said curtly, “Let's go.”
They moved quietly deeper in. The passage was longer than expected. No sign of the portal yet.
Then—rumble— The heavy door behind them creaked open again.
They froze. Arcia slowly turned. “...Adventurers.”
Her red eyes narrowed. “Four?... No.”
She scanned them with mana. “Five.”
Ian still saw nothing, but Arcia's expression said it all. This wasn't good.
“Head to the second floor first,” Ian said lowly.
No reason to clash.
“Yeah.”
They quickened their pace. But heavier footsteps echoed behind, growing rougher.
Thud-thud— Someone was speeding up.
Arcia's eyes flashed. “Ian.”
She gripped his hand tight. “Run!”
“Got it!”
They bolted. Their footsteps pounded wildly in the passage. Thud-thud-thud—! But the ones behind were faster. Closing in. Closer.
“Hah... hah!” Ian's breaths grew ragged.
How far had they run? A faint blue glow appeared at the passage's end. The portal.
“There!” Arcia shouted.
They poured on the last of their strength. The portal loomed ahead. One more step—
Hummm— The portal hummed low.
Arcia's eyes widened. “What—?”
The blue light rippled. Someone stepped out from inside.
“Been waiting.”
A familiar face—the adventurer from the first-floor entrance.
Grab— Her hand shot out like lightning, seizing Arcia's wrist.
“Ah!”
Arcia twisted to break free, but a mage couldn't shake a warrior.
In an instant, her body was yanked.
“Arcia—!”
Arcia vanished into the portal. And in her final moment, she let go of Ian's hand.
Hummm— The blue light flickered.
Only Ian remained before the portal.
“What the...”
It had happened too fast. But he couldn't stand there dazed.
Thud. Thud. Footsteps closed in from behind—almost right on him now.
“Fuck...”
Ian gritted his teeth and hurled himself into the portal. Blue light flashed. His vision went white. He squeezed his eyes shut.
When he opened them: the second floor.
The layout was much like the first. But that didn't matter now.
“...Arcia?”
No one around. No Arcia. No adventurer.
Ian's gaze dropped to the floor. Before the portal lay a torn scrap of paper.
“...Spell scroll.”
He understood instantly. Random Teleport Scroll. The kind raider NPCs used in the game.
It warped the user and those nearby to random spots inside the dungeon. The catch: truly random.
Into walls. Ceilings. Rocks. Bad luck meant instant death, bisected.
Hence the need for protective magic first.
“...Damn it.”
Ian's eyes shook. “That's why she let go...”
Arcia had released him to keep him safe from the risk.
Ian clenched his fist. “Fuck...!”
But he couldn't stop here. Arcia was somewhere in this dungeon. And so were the adventurers hunting her.
Still alive.
Ian ground his teeth. “I'll find her.”
He sized up the situation and moved.
*****************
Moments later. The second-floor portal where Ian had been.
Hummm— It hummed, blue light rippling. Adventurers emerged one by one. Warrior, mage, two archers. Finally, a woman in black armor stepped out.
She scanned around. “What... where's the boy?”
“Heh... probably cowering in some hole, scared shitless.”
The mage beside her snickered.
“But damn, he was hot.”
One archer cackled. “First dibs if we catch him—” She wiggled her hips.
“Hah.”
The warrior next to her scoffed. “Here we go with the premature bitch again.”
“What?!”
The archer glared. “I saw your eyes glaze over back there too.”
“Shut your trap.”
The mood turned tense—
“Enough.”
The black-armored woman cut in sharply. Silence fell.
She slowly checked the portal area. Then: “You two stay here.”
She pointed at the rear pair. “Guard the portal.”
She eyed the rest. “The three of you, split up and hunt the male.”
A beat of silence. She smirked. “He can't leave the second floor. We'll snag him quick.”
The mage cackled. “Can I play first if we catch him?”
“Capture him alive first...” She said curtly. “Then yeah, you start.”
At that, three dashed off. Clink. Weapons ready, they scattered into the second-floor passages.
Left at the portal: the mage and one warrior.
“Heh... can't wait to fuck him raw.”
The mage shivered in anticipation. “That scared face was delicious.”
The warrior chuckled. “You should've seen his tight little ass.”
“Just catch him. I'll make him cry and beg.”
The mage grinned sleazily.
“Crying or not, doesn't matter.”
The warrior leered. “We'll enslave him. Toy with him till he drops dead.”
Their vulgar banter continued—
Thud! Quick movement from behind.
“What?”
The mage at the rear noticed first and whipped around. Her eyes bulged.
“Hey—!”
“It's that fucker!”
The boy they'd chased: Ian.
“Wake up, premature bitches.”
Ian spat the line and dove into the portal.
Hummm— He emerged on the first floor.
In truth, Ian had hidden right there the moment they entered the second floor. A game bug he knew: a tiny gap between portal and wall, just big enough for one person.
He'd crammed in, holding his breath.
Hummm— The portal rippled again. The second-floor adventurers were pursuing.
Exactly what Ian wanted. That's why he'd taunted and jumped in.
Emerging from a portal throws you off-balance. Leaves you wide open, briefly.
The mage stumbled out first.
“Bingo.”
Ian charged. Stab! His dagger sank into her thigh.
“KyaAaAaK!”
She screamed in sudden agony. Blood sprayed.
He could've gone for the throat, but glimpsed armor under her robe. No matter. This would do.
Thud-thud— Ian left the dagger lodged and spun, bolting down the passage.
“Fucking bastard!”
The mage howled. But her deep wound crippled her movement.
Hummm— Portal rippled. The warrior emerged.
“What?”
Her eyes locked on the bleeding mage.
“That fucker—”
The mage gnashed her teeth.
The warrior reached for the dagger in her thigh.
“Just go!!”
The mage shoved her roughly. Blood dripped steadily.
“Catch him...!”
Her eyes blazed with rage.
“Yeah.”
The warrior nodded curtly, cowed by the mage's fury. She turned and sprinted after the boy.
Thud-thud—!
How far did she run? The passage end appeared ahead. Ian stood there, outside.
Not fleeing. Just watching her quietly.
“What, giving up?”
She slowed as she neared the end.
“W-wait... just a sec...”
Ian's body trembled. Looked like he'd realized escape was impossible and surrendered.
“Heh.”
The warrior grinned. “Where'd that fire go?”
“I-I'm sorry...”
Tears welled in Ian's eyes.
The warrior's lips curled slowly. Terrified prey. It only fueled her sadism.
She took another step.
“W-wait...”
Thud. Ian collapsed to his knees.
“Heh... don't worry.”
She stuck out her tongue. “Won't hurt... much.”
One step. Another. Toward the passage end.
Then—
“You know?”
Ian looked up. The trembling was gone.
The sudden shift made the warrior frown.
“What?”
Ian's lips curved. “Goblin Queen eggs...”
He picked something off the floor. “Count as monsters?”
Whoosh— It flew at her.
“What the—?!”
She reflexively raised her shield. Splat. It shattered easily. Sticky fluid oozed down the shield.
“What is this—”
BOOM!!
The Spawning Ground's massive door dropped from above.
“Wha—?!”
No time to react. The iron gate crushed her flat.
Crunch. Bones shattered. Blood pooled on the floor.
Instant death.
It spread slowly under the door. The dungeon had registered the egg as a monster and auto-sealed.
Ian stared a moment. Then growled low.
“Fuck... all you bitches are dead.”