The Fiancée's Awkward "Bossam" Joke
“Wh-what the heck?! What do you mean you're kidnapping me?!”
“Oh? You don't know since you're still a kid? 'Bossam' means—”
“No, I know what it means! Put me down right now!”
My brain ground to a sudden halt, and I flailed my arms and legs wildly in midair, trying to kickstart it again. What the hell had I just heard? Bossam? As in the kidnapping-marriage kind of bossam I knew about? And she was blurting it out to me, the guy already freaking out over this sudden engagement talk?
“Oops, yeah, that might come as a shock. You probably already know, but I'm Prelia von Edelweis.”
Eh? Her? This was the owner of that neat, elegant handwriting from the letters? The mature lady the housekeeper mentioned was actually the one who'd burst out of the greenhouse and hoisted me up like a sack of potatoes?
“I-I didn't know!”
“Huh? Didn't I just introduce myself?”
“You didn't!”
“...Oh, you're right, I really didn't, did I?”
She scratched her cheek awkwardly for a moment before carefully setting me down. I checked myself for any rumpled clothes, but amazingly, everything was perfectly in place.
“I'm the daughter of the Northern Duke, after all. Can't go messing up a noble's outfit.”
“...If you knew that, maybe don't start with kidnapping jokes on a first meeting...”
“It was a decent joke by my standards...”
She cleared her throat awkwardly, crossed her arms under her chest, and averted her gaze. The flush on her cheeks was so obvious it was embarrassing me instead. She must've realized how ridiculous it sounded even to her.
“We're getting engaged anyway, so the marriage is basically set. I was just joking around with the bossam thing...”
“...I don't like jokes like that.”
“S-sorry... Ahem, I don't have much experience with guys. I put a lot of thought into picking a joke to lighten the mood...”
“……”
...Wait a sec. Even if she hasn't met many guys, is that really...?
...Well, thinking back to those old posts from people who bombed their college lives with bad jokes in their past lives, it's not totally unbelievable. In that light, Prelia's situation made sense. The youngest daughter of the Northern Duke, no less. Even with older sisters above her, her power, background, and authority were beyond imagination. Add in the remote northern environment, and guys were probably rarer than hen's teeth. Plus, in her position, everyone around her would've laughed at even the lamest jokes...
“I-I only had studying to keep me company... I put a ton of thought into that one just now... My heart was pounding like crazy, sweat pouring out...”
“So that's why you've been all sweaty since earlier?”
“Yeah, wha—y-you saw?! I wiped it off as much as I could!!”
Prelia panicked at my words, fumbling a handkerchief from her left chest pocket. In her fluster, it slipped from her trembling fingers and fluttered to the ground.
“Sigh, why are you so worked up? Here, stay still.”
I picked up the handkerchief lightly and stepped closer to her. Our age gap meant a pretty big height difference too—not as much as with Serdi sis, but still noticeable. Six years apart; was that normal?
I raised my arm to wipe the sweat from her cheek and forehead... wipe... wi—
...Can't reach.
“...Bend down a little, please.”
“Uh, uh, okay...”
A bit frustrating, but my arms just weren't long enough. Daughter of the Northern Duke, alright—her body's built huge. Height... chest... all of it. I shook my head to clear the random thoughts and gently dabbed her face with the handkerchief.
This probably looked weird to any bystander... a short little boy wiping a woman's face. The servants back home would've freaked. Especially that skeleton.
“There, all done.”
“Th-thanks... Ahem. Is this okay...?”
“Huh?”
“Y'know? A woman bending down like this for a boy to touch her... Feels kinda weird.”
“Ah.”
...So she knew it was odd. I'd been worried she might not, but her head seemed on straight. I might get accused of underestimating her, but come on—who starts a first meeting by asking if they can kidnap you for marriage?
I wanted to voice that inner monologue, but it'd probably make things even more awkward, so I let it slide.
“Anyway, you're my fiancé, right?”
“Y-yeah. Kael la Elion? The lady of the house always talked about you—her best comrade's youngest and only son. I wanted to meet you in person, but you were sickly, so we only exchanged letters.”
“...Can I ask one thing?”
“Sure? What?”
“Those letters... Did you really write them yourself?”
“Huh? Was there a problem with my letters...?”
“No, just... The handwriting doesn't match you at all.”
“……”
Prelia gaped blankly, clearly wounded. The housekeeper had called her mature, but... well, she worked for her family; of course she'd say nice things.
“...Sorry... I'm senseless... Sorry for making a guy wipe my face...”
“...Why are you taking it that far?”
“……”
The mood sank even lower. Oops, foot-in-mouth.
“...So, you were waiting here a while to meet me?”
“No, not really... I figured I'd say hi, give a quick tour, then head to work.”
She pressed her index fingers together, mumbling, then sighed deeply and stood up.
“If you wanna stick around, fine... I'll have tea and snacks sent over. Just wait quietly.”
“...No. Let's go together.”
“Any favorite snacks—huh? It'll be super complicated, though?”
“I wanna see. You working. Mom always hides this stuff 'cause it's hard.”
. . .
“Miss! Report on the medical office—”
“Northern and southern regions requesting resources. Hardliner monsters arming up—”
“Large dungeon discovered in the northwest. The overseer says—”
“Reinforcements requested from the northeast. A good chunk of this harvest might convert to troops—”
‘……’
Reports poured in from all sides. Stacks of documents flew around, rolled parchments, massive stamped slabs, urgent messengers bursting in.
“Got it, forward them all to the relevant departments... I'll check the northwest myself. Resources per manual; I'll fix any glitches. Oh, and that part—”
Prelia sorted the papers with practiced ease, issuing crisp orders to servants and messengers. In this dizzying office that'd make anyone's head spin, she worked like it was second nature.
“...Whew... Dizzy... Head hurts...”
“Eh, uh? Why are you suddenly next to—”
“Dizzy... Can I stick close for a bit...?”
“O-of course! I-I'll get a chair, just wait—”
I wobbled and leaned against her shoulder. Even if my symptoms had improved, my body was always frail; too much activity. On the way north, I'd dry-heaved from dizziness multiple times. I'd come to the greenhouse to recover, but watching this chaos made my stomach flip worse.
“Nng... Not a chair...”
“Huh? Then not a chair—ah?!”
Not a chair. Don't wanna wait. Wanna sit now. Somewhere warm, soft, squishy.
Head fuzzy, super sleepy, wanna curl up in someone's arms thoughtlessly...
So I hugged Prelia's leg tight and climbed delicately onto her lap. The cozy warmth seeped through my skin, filling me with instant calm. The faint edelweiss scent was nice too... I settled on her soft, warm lap, giggled sleepily, and turned my head.
“Am I heavy...? If it's uncomfortable, I can get down...”
“N-no, no! It's fine! Ahaha... Totally fine. Not heavy at all, no bother, and you're so small it doesn't get in the way of work.”
“Nee...?! Teasing my height...?! Puu...”
“Pfft, you're cuter the more I look. Got some hidden insecurities too, huh? Me too.”
“Nee...? What insecurities do you have... You're amazing... Handling dizzying work like a pro... Super pretty too...”
“……”
She fell silent, gazing down at me. ...Though one hand kept flipping papers, which was kinda hilarious.
A bit greedy maybe, but I wanted it anyway...
“Huh?”
I grabbed her hovering arm—unsure what to do with it—with both hands. Couldn't feel the texture through her gloves, but the warmth was intense. I slowly pulled it up and placed it on my head.
“Uh...?”
“...Not gonna pet me...? Pet meee... Pleeease...? Sis...”
“...”
I wheedled with full aegyo, acting spoiled. Serdi sis, Mom, Leaf, even the dark elf—they'd always pet me when I did this... Would it work here? Was I overstepping with the Northern Duke's daughter?
I swallowed my regret and started to get up—
—stroke... stroke…
“...! Hehe... Nice touch...”
“...You're making me wanna kidnap you for real.”
“Nng...? What'd you say, sis...?”
“Nothing.”
I definitely heard that...
...Eh, whatever. Feels good now, that's what matters...
I melted fully, nestling naturally against her ample chest like it was a pillow.
* * *
Meanwhile.
Aurelia hurried along after her chat with Adelaide. Simple reason: She'd told Kael to wait, but he'd vanished without a word.
She swiftly scanned the ducal estate following the route the housekeeper mentioned.
“Kael?”
Greenhouse.
“Kael!”
Kitchen.
“Kael...?”
Training grounds.
No luck after checking likely spots. In resignation, she headed to Prelia's office.
The young genius already serving as overseer. Aurelia flung open the door without hesitation.
“Koo...”
“Uhuhu... So cute... Makes me so horny... ...Huh...?”
“...”
Aurelia's eyes slowly cooled.
Then.
They ignited with icy fury.