To Deal with a Crazy Bitch, You Have to Become a Crazy Bastard (1)
I'd written a whole post begging for help with a problem so serious I couldn't find an answer myself—and every single reply treated my dilemma like a joke.
I knew that. I knew how absurd the whole situation was. But that was exactly why I had nowhere else to turn.
I scrolled through the comments one by one.
Even among the joking replies, the people who actually put themselves in my shoes all said the same thing.
The guy's a loser.
Chop your dick off.
She's spoon-feeding it to him and this sucker still won't take it.
The more I read those comments, the stronger the thoughts that had been nagging at me became.
Why the hell was I trying to push Seoyeon away?
Because she was my childhood friend? No—because I thought of her as family, more than just a friend?
Honestly, I knew that just thinking of her that way wouldn't make things go back to how they were. No matter how much I yelled at Seoyeon to stop, it never got through to her. If anything, the more I said things like that, the worse her obsession got and the more extreme her behavior became.
Then wouldn't it just be easier to give Seoyeon what she wants...?
The more I read the comments, the more my thoughts started drifting that way.
The further down I scrolled, the more extreme the comments got.
Yeah... how long am I going to keep taking this from Seoyeon?
I was the idiot for letting her walk all over me like this. If anything, I should be the one fucking Seoyeon—
Slap!
I swung my hand hard across my own cheek.
What the hell was I just thinking...?
With everything so bizarre lately, I was starting to go weird myself. Before I could spiral into even stranger thoughts, I tossed my phone aside.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"What the..."
I'd been asleep on the couch when a sound like the front door was about to get smashed in jolted me awake.
"Hajun! Hajun!"
Bang bang bang!
Remembering I'd changed the front door passcode before falling asleep, I stumbled over half-asleep and opened it.
The door flew open.
"Haaah..."
Seoyeon burst in looking frantic, then let out a sigh of relief when she saw me. She'd been staring at me with worry, like something terrible might have happened—then her face went ice-cold, thick with anger.
"...What are you doing?"
"About what?"
As recently as yesterday, a look like that from Seoyeon would have left me flustered—but not anymore. I'd made up my mind. I wasn't going to be dragged around by her any longer.
"...Why'd you change the passcode."
"Do I need your permission to change the passcode on my own house?"
"........."
Even I was going crazy from how awkward this version of myself felt—I could only imagine how Seoyeon was taking it. Her face was full of shock at my sudden change in attitude. She stared at me blankly for a moment, then started walking past me into the apartment.
I grabbed her arm and stopped her in her tracks.
"...What."
"Where do you think you're going?"
"What?"
"You need to ask permission before you come into someone's house. This isn't your place."
This is my house. Not yours. I was putting it indirectly—telling her not to do whatever she wanted here from now on. I was finally doing what I should have done a long time ago. After being indecisive and half-hearted, just letting her drag me around, I was finally setting things straight.
".........Can I come in?"
"Yeah. Come in."
Faced with my firm expression, she had no choice but to ask permission with a sour look. Only then did I greet her with a bright smile.
The stick and the carrot had to be clear.
Seeing me smile, Seoyeon's frozen expression gradually softened.
"........."
"........."
Everything was different from usual. I stared straight at her, and she avoided my gaze. Every time I looked at her, the image of her on the bed would overlay itself, and I wanted to look away out of sheer awkwardness—but I forced myself to keep looking.
Seoyeon fidgeted like she'd done something wrong, twisting her head this way and that to avoid meeting my eyes, pretending to look elsewhere. The complete opposite of how things had been up through yesterday.
"U-um... Hajun..."
"Yeah. What."
"D-did I do something wrong...?"
"Something wrong? Hmm..."
She had. A huge one.
Since when does some chick try to fuck a guy...
The comment I'd seen earlier flashed through my mind. I shook my head hard and swallowed the words that had been about to slip out.
"No?"
"Then why..."
"Hmm? Why what?"
".........Never mind."
I kept staring at her like nothing was wrong, and she finally swallowed whatever she'd wanted to say and turned her head. To Seoyeon, this whole situation must have been incomprehensible. Her true nature had been exposed to me, and the guy who used to panic just from her scowling or staring at him had suddenly flipped and started pressuring her—of course she'd be frustrated.
"H-Hajun!"
"Yeah."
"Want to go somewhere? Huh? The weather's nice!"
Desperate to escape the situation, she suddenly suggested going out and grabbed my hand, shaking it. The fact that she—who always wanted to keep me home so she could do things to me—was saying this at all told me exactly how she was feeling right now.
But...
"Nah? I'd rather stay home."
"Oh... o-okay..."
I'd made a firm decision. Today, I was going to thoroughly correct Seoyeon's habits.
"Seoyeon, there's something I want to say to you today."
"W-what? Uh, uh..."
As if the moment she'd been dreading had finally arrived, Seoyeon clenched her fists and her whole body started trembling.
"First. From now on, when you come to my place, contact me ahead of time. Get my permission first, then come."
"........."
"Answer me."
"........."
"Answer!"
".........Yes."
The expression drained from Seoyeon's face as she answered in a thoroughly dejected voice.
Was I being too harsh...? But I hadn't even started yet.
"Second. From now on, don't disobey me in my house. If I say no, don't do it. Don't force things on me."
"Th-that's—!"
"That's what? If you don't like it, don't come. Just don't show up."
"........."
"Answer me."
"Yes..."
Her voice sounded like she was about to burst into tears, and it hurt. But the more it hurt, the firmer I had to be. The second I backed down and said sorry here, everything would just go back to the way it was. She'd waltz into my house like it was nothing and throw a fit trying to fuck me like it was nothing.
"Last. We're just friends. No—forget friends. We're family. Do you know how old we were when we started living around each other? I don't even know. I can't remember. That's how long we've been together like family."
"........."
"Answer me."
"............"
I should have been more careful. I should have taken it slower, step by step. Seeing that being firm actually seemed to work had made me rush things.
There was something I'd overlooked.
Yu Seoyeon. She was... seriously unhinged.
"...you do."
"What?"
"You love me too!"
"What are you talking about— aagh!"
Thud!
Seoyeon shot up from her seat and lunged at me, sending me toppling backward onto the floor. She straddled me and pinned my body so I couldn't move.
"You liked it too! Hajun, you love me too! We love each other!"
Clutching both my arms, looking down at me and screaming with pure venom, her eyes held a glint of madness.
This was bad. I should have taken it slow. I should have carefully restored our relationship one step at a time. I'd been too hasty.
"S-Seoyeon. Look, that's..."
"You liked it too! You said it felt good! You sucked on mine too! We enjoyed it together! You love me toooo!"
"No, I mean... just let go for a second..."
The damage was already done. I needed to start over slowly, even now. First, I had to calm her down.
"........."
Seoyeon, eyes wild in a frenzy of excitement, strangely let go of my body. Had my feelings finally gotten through to her?
That thought barely had time to form before Seoyeon came out of the kitchen and held something out to me as I got up.
"Drink it."
A rule that had formed between us not long ago. When Seoyeon wanted something, she'd hold out a cup—and the moment I drank from it, it meant anything she did was okay.
"Drink it."
Even in a situation like this, she wanted to do that? As I stood there in disbelief, Seoyeon kept pressing me, her face completely devoid of emotion.
I reached out and took the cup she was holding out. Then one corner of Seoyeon's mouth started curling up. She sneered at me like, Of course you'd do that.
Seeing that look on her face, some unnameable emotion surged up inside me.
I finally understood.
I held the cup right back out to Seoyeon.
"You drink it."
To deal with a crazy bitch—
I had to become a crazy bastard myself.