You're Not the You I Knew (1)
"I'm sorry·········."
"Whoa, whoa! No, no! It's fine! Hey! Do something about her!"
A café somewhere near the house. Across from me and Seoyeon sat Dongjun, flailing his hands in pure panic. He shot me a look that screamed please, just stop her — but I had no intention of intervening.
"I really am sorry for what I said before······."
"I told you it's fine! Dude! Please make her stop!"
I had dragged Dongjun out here so Seoyeon could apologize for the time she'd gone through my phone without permission, called him up, and threatened to kill him. We'd been hunting down everyone she'd wronged back in school, tracking them one by one so she could beg forgiveness for the things she'd done.
Most of the victims hung up the second they heard her name, recoiling in pure horror. A few, though, had accepted her sincere apology. Dongjun — one of my closest friends — was the last of them.
He'd ignored every call from me, but the moment Seoyeon dialed him he'd answered instantly and come running. Now he sat there, completely rattled by a side of her he'd never seen before.
"Dongjun already said it's fine. That's enough."
"······Okay."
"Whew······."
Confronting her past mistakes all day had left Seoyeon thoroughly deflated.
"Hey. What the hell is going on. What happened."
"What do you mean."
"Come on! Why is Seoyeon suddenly acting like this?!"
With Seoyeon slumped over behind us, Dongjun dropped his voice to a whisper only I could hear.
"What do you mean, 'suddenly.' If you mess up, you apologize. Doesn't matter how young you were — you own what you did."
"When she was young···? Wait. Don't tell me you made her do this with everyone else too?"
"Yeah. Most of them just shuddered at her name and hung up, though."
"Well, yeah, that makes sen————"
Dongjun cut himself off mid-sentence. I followed his gaze and found Seoyeon glaring daggers at him.
"Yu Seoyeon."
"·········Sorry."
At my call she dropped her head again and apologized. She still hadn't learned. Couldn't even hold it together for five minutes — she'd just finished apologizing and already her old habits were clawing their way back out.
"Okay, but seriously."
"What now."
"What's going on with you two."
"What about us."
"The vibe's weird. There's something there. What are you guys?"
"·········."
Now that he mentioned it — what were we?
We'd kissed. We'd had sex. Were we dating? We'd never actually talked about it. In that case···.
"Just friends."
"·········What?"
A hollow voice drifted from beside me. I turned and found Seoyeon staring at me, her face blank with shock. Dongjun looked back and forth between us, then suddenly started gathering his things in a frantic scramble.
"Uh······ yeah, buddy. Take care. Don't contact me for a while! Got it? Hyung's out of here first! Get home safe!"
"Hey! Hey, hey! Where are you going!"
Dongjun dumped the bomb on us, shot up from his seat, and bolted out of the café like his life depended on it. Something about this felt off. Had I said something wrong?
"·········We're friends?"
"Huh? Uh? Y-yeah, friends······ right···?"
For now, at least.
I didn't even get the rest of the sentence out before Seoyeon stood up. Then, just like Dongjun a moment ago, she strode straight out without a word. I sat there staring for a second before scrambling to my feet.
"S-Seoyeon! Where are you going!"
The other customers around us shook their heads and clicked their tongues.
What the fuck did I even do wrong!
"Seoyeon. Hold on a second."
"······Let go."
I caught up to her long strides, grabbed her arm, and pulled her to a stop. Seoyeon stared down at the hand on her arm with a frigid expression and spoke in a voice like ice.
"No, that's not what I—"
"······I said let go."
I tried to explain what I'd meant, but the cold that had settled over her face wasn't going anywhere. Anger flared up in my chest. I'd just wanted to stay friends — family, even — and she was the one who'd forced herself on me until we ended up here. So why the hell was she the one getting mad? I was the one who had every right to be furious.
"Let go·········?"
I released her arm. The second I let go without a fight, Seoyeon looked at me with a baffled expression. Well. She'd told me to let go, hadn't she?
"·········."
I just stood there with my hands free. Seoyeon started stomping down the street, every step a heavy thud that broadcast her rage to the entire world. I turned my back on her and headed home.
What, she's mad? So what.
It was obvious. By tomorrow she'd show up begging for forgiveness, saying she was sorry. Guaranteed.
Days had already passed since that whole mess, and still not a single word from Seoyeon. Every day I sat staring at the front door thinking she'll come today, and when that got me nowhere I posted on the community board again.
I could have just texted her first. But my pride wouldn't allow it. No matter how I looked at it, I hadn't done anything wrong. She'd stormed off without even hearing me out, and that had pissed me off too. If I caved and messaged her first, I'd be the one bowing my head every time something like this happened again. I refused.
Yeah. Not contacting her first was the right call. Most of the comments agreed — texting first meant losing, so hold out no matter what.
Other women, huh.
That wasn't wrong either. Seoyeon and I weren't even dating. Since things had already gone this far, maybe I should try other girls too·········.
Slap.
I must have lost my mind. Lately my thoughts kept sliding somewhere weird. Maybe I needed to quit the community boards. Reading all that trashy, provocative garbage was warping my brain in the same direction.
I shook my head hard to clear out the junk, then got up from bed. Might as well work out for the first time in a while. Nearly a month cooped up at home with Seoyeon had killed my entire exercise routine.
I packed my bag and headed out. My place was a mixed-use residential building — take the elevator down and the gym was right there. This building belonged to my parents too.
The year I turned twenty, Mom and Dad kicked me out and told me to live on my own. What they said still cracked me up.
"We want to feel like newlyweds for once, okay?"
"We already raised you since before we even got married. That's enough!"
"Get out! Go live on your own! We'll give you a place! Just get out!"
And just like that, the two of them started jetting off on overseas trips whenever the mood struck, living out their belated honeymoon phase for over three years now. I'd been living alone for more than three years and hadn't called them once. Living expenses hit my account like clockwork, but if I so much as dialed them for a check-in, they blew up.
"Why! Why are you so desperate to come between us! Hang up! I'm trying to go on a date with your mother, you brat!"
I hadn't called since. I worried they might end up giving me a little sibling at this rate, but whatever — they'd figure it out themselves.
Ding-dong.
Lost in thought, I barely noticed the elevator stop. I stepped out and walked into the gym.
"Hey! Long time no see!"
"Ah, yes. Hello."
"Where have you been lately! You of all people know you have to stay consistent with exercise!"
"Hahaha······ something came up······."
The second I walked in after so long, the gym owner hit me with a full lecture. He looked a bit older, built like a tank, and the sheer presence rolling off him was no joke. But the number floating above his head······.
43
I was pretty sure he was married, and that number was higher than expected. Whoa······. Guy must've been a real player back in the day.
I left him behind and hurried to the locker room, changed, and came back out.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I finished stretching, climbed onto a treadmill, started the machine, and ran for who knows how long.
Tap tap.
Someone poked my shoulder with a finger. I glanced sideways.
"Hello?"
"Who······ oh!"
Long straight hair pulled back. A pure, innocent-looking face. A tank top and leggings clinging tight enough to show off every curve of her body. As far as I knew, she was the woman who lived next door.
"Fancy running into you here?"
"Y-yes······."
Every time I'd passed her in the hallway, the image she gave off was pure innocence itself. A face so wholesome it looked like she had zero interest in men. And yet—
87
Maybe she was a very different person from the one I thought I knew.