I Shall Stand Upon Justice
And then, right on cue, a mage appeared!
"I have decided to put my tiresome S-Rank mage life behind me and wander the whole world, lending a hand to anyone who needs one! In short, I shall become a savior to all. And with that — sayonara!"
"Cut the crap and say it properly. Are you stepping out for a bit, or are you taking a break?"
"What is justice? That question deserves fresh thought. Is truly only this — beating down monsters and handing them over to the Association — what justice is?"
She spread both arms wide and declared, the very picture of confidence.
She curled up the corners of her mouth and closed her eyes, her face drunk to the brim on itself.
Look at me. Just look at me, spouting A** So**'s lines like that.
It almost seemed as though she were saying exactly that.
Quoting the words of one who clawed his way from the lowliest of races up to transcendence, all to shore up her own persuasiveness...
...except the only person in that break room listening to her grand oration was her friend and fellow S-Rank mage, Han Sejin.
"Goo Seoha. Cut the crap and say it properly."
"My, my. This is why low-tier mages are hopeless..."
"Low-tier? You should be ashamed of yourself, calling someone beneath you over a single rank."
"Joke. That was a joke. Keep making that scary face and I'll actually cry, you know? And surely you're aware that a single step within the Upper Realm is the difference between heaven and earth? Truly hopeless."
"Shut it. Go on, then. Cry."
Han Sejin and Goo Seoha were mages who had reached the peak of the Upper Realm's mid stage and touched Geungnyang, respectively. Counting all of Korea, there were precious few mages who outranked them.
And even among those few, you would struggle to find a single one still in possession of their sanity. Word had even spread among the public that both women's minds had shattered long ago.
Han Sejin, for the record, agreed with that opinion.
'Everyone except me, that is.'
Strangely enough, Goo Seoha likewise agreed that Han Sejin's mind was broken.
'Obviously not me. Han Sejin's the only weird one here.'
Their opinions, running along an exquisitely parallel track, could be judged by no one as right or wrong. Both of them were, quite clearly, out of their minds.
Compared to the other Upper Realm mages, though, their cases were mild enough that it all remained mere rumor.
But suppose the two of them ever became aware that their own minds were broken. What would happen then? A mental collapse from prolonged insanity? Or denial of reality, insisting it simply couldn't be?
Amazingly, neither. The correct answer is: 'Nothing happens at all.'
Because the delusion that they could never possibly be wrong erases their awareness of their own condition. It rather resembles the mindset of an alcoholic or an addict — they swear up and down that they're not addicted in the slightest, and if anyone suggests otherwise, they fly into a rage: 'As if!'
"Well then, I'm off to ascend to the heavens... no, to stand above justice, so be sure to put in a good word with the Association Chairman for me~"
"No. I won't. Get out. Now."
"Aww~ love you too."
Brushing off Han Sejin's scolding with a breezy non-answer, Goo Seoha drifted serenely out of the break room.
Han Sejin stared at the door long after she was gone, and sighed.
'She'll come waltzing back tomorrow anyway.'
Goo Seoha would come pester her again, shrieking something along the lines of 'I was not worthy of justice?! GraaAAAAGH!' Imagining her wailing in theatrical agony, Han Sejin felt a snort of laughter escape before she could stop it.
"Might as well clean up."
She rose from her seat and began clearing away the wreckage Goo Seoha had scattered across the break room, piece by piece. A paper airplane folded out of classified documents, an empty snack bag, and on and on. She couldn't very well let anyone else see Seoha like this — so no magic, just her own two hands, extra thorough.
"————!!" (Grrrrrgh!)
Apparently, the first thing a person must do upon sitting down in their office chair is stretch. You haven't done a single thing yet, and already it feels like you've been hard at work. Isn't that wonderful?
Nope.
'Who says I've done nothing!! I slept, I ate hamburgers, I lived my life to the fullest!'
She'd even taped a sign reading [OPEN!!] to the door — which meant it was now, officially, time to get to work.
OPEN!!
Not that most of the people who did wander by came with anything in mind other than 'wait, what does this place even do?'
Her naming shop had a perfectly respectable signboard out front, and yet business was eerily dead even at what should have been peak hours.
"————?" (Isn't this basically a real business already?)
Someone, clearly, was interfering with her happy little life as a self-employed business owner. She had wanted a happy self-employed life — not a destitute hamburger-addict life!
Chomp, chomp, chomp.
...And even as she thought it, she was eating yet another hamburger.
'Curse you, hamburger addiction! Have I truly ascended to the realm of ordering hamburgers while unconscious?!'
And why not — she had no memory whatsoever of buying one. She had simply woken up, and there it was, sitting on her desk. She had, evidently, reached the level of purchasing and consuming hamburgers in her sleep.
'Yumin, just how badly did you want a hamburger...'
She took an enormous bite and shed a small tear. 'If you want one that badly, order it while you're awake, please...'
Hamburger in hand and tears in her eyes, she pulled up her bank account. It wasn't an expensive hamburger, but the delivery fee had been the problem.
'5,000 won for delivery is a genuine crime.'
Just as she checked her balance with trembling fingers—
"————!" (Holy crap!)
[————.]
Not a single won was gone! The money left over from ordering clothes two days ago was still sleeping safe and sound in her account. She then, with the utmost care, turned off her smartphone screen so as not to wake the slumbering balance.
Who on earth was it?
"————." (No idea.)
No possibility came to mind except one: the God of Hamburgers had descended a hamburger upon her. As expected — she had always known that worshipping and consuming hamburgers every single day would see her chosen as the most devout of believers. At last, she had become one beloved by the God of Hamburgers!
"————!" (Kya-hahaha!)
[————.]
'What? The landlady sent it?'
Why would that woman give her a hamburger? She had some shame, thank you very much. Even she felt guilty about the 100,000 won worth of hamburgers she'd put away on Saturday. It was all Yumin's body's fault for eating so much. Absolutely, positively not her own.
'This thing has terrible fuel economy. Why am I starving no matter how much I eat?!'
[————.]
"————?" (So if you use magic at full power, you eat even more than this?)
'Your innate magic really is different from mine, huh? That's not naming, that's binge-eating.'
If this counted as more, then how much did it even eat? She briefly pictured Yumin tearing through a medieval banquet, wolfing everything down.
'Hmm.'
Kind of cute, actually? With an original owner that pretty, people would probably dote on her no matter what she did.
Chomp, chomp, chomp.
"————. ————." (Mmph. Delicious.)
Hamburger finished, trash tidied, nothing left to do. All because there were no customers. Fine by her — and yet, somewhere underneath, a little worrying. If the account kept sliding into the negative like this, she might actually go bankrupt.
Cradling that small worry, she was zoning out at the window when—
"!"
A piercing presence settled over the alley behind her shop. It wasn't aimed directly at her, but it felt as though the entire district were being surveyed from on high. The calm air grew heavy and pressed down, until even breathing felt slightly stifled. Pressure born of overwhelming mana — proof that someone bearing an Upper Realm's worth of magical power was heading this very way.
Ordinarily, the correct move would be to huddle down and pray quietly not to be caught in such a calamity. However.
"————!!" (A CUSTOMER!!)
To her eyes, it looked like nothing more than a customer. After all, what Upper Realm mage would come to a place like this without a reason? The shop sat on the outskirts, well away from downtown, nearly impossible to find for anyone unfamiliar with the road. Which meant that if an Upper Realm mage was approaching, they were unquestionably approaching for her!
There was a long and involved story behind why she was running a business in a place like this in the first place. None of it mattered right now.
The pressure that had merely made breathing difficult was now bearing down on her with real force.
'Definitely headed this way. And after everything, my first ever Upper Realm customer. Maybe I'm finally moving up in the world?'
[————.]
Granted, a deranged Upper Realm mage might just be coming to ambush her — but she had Yumin's mana and chantless casting. No matter how formidable the mage, it was over the instant their head left their shoulders. Unless they degraded themselves with a sword, they would be casting a spell — and on speed alone, a chantless caster was bound to win, overwhelmingly. Still, killing someone on a whim in Korea invited endless headaches, so it was a card reserved for the very last of last resorts.
"————...." (Hooo....)
Keeping a careful thread of tension alive, she was staring out the window when she spotted a lone figure striding briskly out of the alley. The red-haired woman who emerged must have noticed the eyes on her, because she lifted her head and glared — with pinpoint accuracy — straight at her.
"————." (Hnnngh.)
Taking an unshielded Upper Realm mage's gaze head-on made her legs wobble all on their own.
[————?]
'No, this is my first time even seeing an Upper Realm mage? A person's allowed to be a little scared...'
The red-haired woman smiled brightly at her and murmured something under her breath. She strained her eyes to make out what — because if that was an incantation, she would be counterattacking on the spot. Reading the woman's lips slowly, she found not an incantation but a short phrase being recited. Not an incantation, however.
'Cute girl discovered...?'
Tearing her eyes from the woman who was muttering something distinctly unhinged, she ducked below the windowsill. Emergency strategy time. It felt like being caught by the one person you absolutely could not afford to be caught by.
'Her eyes were broken from the very start!'
That had not been the gaze of a person. That was the gaze of a beast locking onto a delicious meal. It was nearly identical to the look she herself sent at a hamburger sitting in front of her, so she knew it well.
'This is bad! I'm sorry for acting tough earlier!!'
Which meant she had to pool every last braincell she and Yumin had between them to break out of this situation. Otherwise, this might just become the first murder of Lee Yumin's life!
"————?" (Do you understand what kind of situation this is?)
[————.]
"————, ————." (Right? They say every single Upper Realm person has lost their mind... and honestly, it tracks.)
Thump. Thump.
"————?" (She seems very much insane... think I can send her away?)
Thump. Thump.
[————.]
"————, ————... ————?" (Yes, yes, I know we could just use magic. But do you have any idea what happens if you kill someone in Korea?)
Thump. Thump.
[————?]
"————." (The perpetrator and the victim swap places. Instantly.)
[————?]
"————?" (I'm telling you, it's true?)
Thump. Thump.
[————?]
"————?" (Also, hasn't there been some weird noise going on this whole time?)
[————.]
Thump. Thump.
"————...." (I don't want to know either....)
"Boss laaady? You in there?"
HIIYAAAAK!! No! No! Go away! Knock on the door like a normal person! There IS a door! Why are you banging on the WINDOW!
"Ah. This won't do at all."
Screeeeee—!
"S-Rank woman special trait: physically incapable of resisting a pretty girl."
CRASHSHSHSHATTER!!
"————!!!" (AAAAAAAHHH!!!)