Branded a Sexual Predator

My eyes snapped open at dawn, just like any other day.

A glance at the clock told me it was only four in the morning.

"Haaah... Even with a bed this luxurious, I still can't sleep in."

Four years had passed since my discharge from the front lines, yet battlefield habits died hard. Come four in the morning, my eyes flew wide open without fail. I desperately wanted to roll around and laze about in this cloud of a mattress, but my body practically itched, ordering me to shut up and go train.

"Fine, fine... I'm going, alright?"

The sheets whispered sweet temptations, begging me to stay wrapped in their embrace, but my heartless body ignored them. I threw on my athletic gear, slipped out of the dormitory, and headed straight for the training hall.

The facility was ridiculous—it looked like someone had mashed together a state-of-the-art modern mega-gym with the martial arts arena where a certain yellow-haired monkey alien used to brawl with humans.

"Damn... Look at all this extravagance. Now this actually makes me want to sweat."

I happily hammered through two hours of physical conditioning and another hour of weapon drills in the lavish facility, capping it all off by slamming down a huge bowl of protein shake.

"Mmm-mm! Chocolate really is the undisputed king of protein flavors."

For a fleeting second, I wondered why modern protein powder even existed in a fantasy world like this, but when I checked the time, it was already pushing seven.

"Classes start at eight. Time to head back to the dorm and get ready."

Basking in the satisfying pump throughout my muscles, I returned to my room, showered, and changed into my uniform. But the moment I stepped outside the dormitory building—

"Kyle!! Why did you take so long?! I've been waiting forever!!"

"Your Highness?"

There stood the silver pup, growling and throwing a full-blown tantrum.

Wait, why is she picking a fight when she chose to wait out here without saying a word? Better yet, why was she waiting for me in the first place?

When I voiced those exact questions, Iris narrowed her eyes, shooting me a look that asked if I had completely lost my mind.

"You're my personal bodyguard, Kyle! Anyone could see you'd totally forget your duties and saunter off to class all by yourself!"

"......"

Only then did it hit me—my official cover for being stationed at this academy was to serve as her bodyguard. Cold sweat broke out across my brow. I instinctively averted my gaze, craning my neck in the opposite direction.

Seeing that guilty reaction, Iris immediately caught on that I really had forgotten. Her glare turned razor-sharp, sharp enough to bore a hole straight through my skull.

As the pressure intensified, I scrambled to find an exit strategy. My eyes darted frantically left and right until they landed on her uniform. This is it! Without missing a beat, I launched into emergency flattery.

"Th-That aside... I have only ever seen you in regal gowns, Your Highness, but this academy uniform suits you exceptionally well."

"......"

She did not reply, but her narrowed, triangular eyes softened into rounder circles.

The second I saw that opening, I channeled the desperate energy of a rapper competing in a hip-hop championship final and began laying down the flattery of a lifetime.

"To be frank, I always thought you were gorgeous in your dresses, but seeing you in this uniform makes me realize how short-sighted I was."

"...!"

"Dresses are designed from the ground up to be lavish and eye-catching, so naturally anyone looks good in them. But this uniform is plain. It is something every common student wears. Yet when you wear it, Your Highness, you appear like a pure-white goddess of beauty descended directly to the mortal realm! I find myself utterly unable to tear my eyes away. It struck me just now—you are the only person on this entire continent who could possibly pull off such an outfit with this level of grace."

Her eyes grew wider and wider by the second. I've got this. Just a little more.

"And look at how your silver hair cascades over the black collar of that shirt. That alone will make Your Highness the most radiant presence in this entire sprawling institution! Did you not notice the stolen glances while walking over here? Look around right now! Like butterflies helpless against the sweet scent of a blooming flower, every student walking past is captivated, unable to stop staring at your majestic poise! It seems you were the only one unaware of your own brilliance!"

"K-Kyle, st-stop it...!"

"No, I must speak! You must be made aware of just how incomparably breathtaking and noble your beauty truly is! And until every single living soul across this world comes to understand your splendor, I, Kyle, shall take it upon myself to proclaim it to the heavens!!!"

"A-Alright, that's enough!! I'm not mad anymore, I swear!!"

Iris practically shrieked, frantically waving her hands to shut me up.

"Haaah... What a pity. That was a golden opportunity to spread word of Your Highness's divine beauty to all creation..."

"I-I told you to stop! Keep running your mouth and I'm going to get angry all over again!"

Whoops. I barely just defused that bomb; no way I'm letting it blow up again.

I immediately tucked in my tail and checked the time. It was 7:45 AM. We had burned far too much time bickering. I had already shown up late to the entrance ceremony; I couldn't afford to repeat that disaster on day one of classes.

"Understood. Regrettable though it may be, I shall cease. That said, we ought to get moving if we don't want to be late."

Iris pulled out the dedicated terminal issued by the academy, checked the screen, and gasped.

"Is that really the time?! We're actually going to be late on our very first day!!"

She grabbed my sleeve, urging me to hurry, and we broke into a brisk stride toward the lecture halls.

As we traded idle chatter along the paved road, the academy's massive main building finally loomed into view.

Right around then, a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sudden question crossed my mind.

Wait... what class am I even in?

I was pretty sure they announced it at the end of the entrance ceremony, but the memory had completely evaporated.

"Your Highness, which class are we in?"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

Iris stopped and turned to blink at me.

"Kyle, did you seriously not check your class assignment?"

I gave her an honest shrug, admitting I had no idea where to even look.

"Haaah... They told us at the ceremony, remember? Any official announcements are sent directly to your academy terminal."

"Ah! That gizmo sitting next to the uniform?"

If that was the case, it was resting safely in my inner coat pocket. I had grabbed it simply because it was packaged alongside the clothes, which turned out to be a stroke of luck.

I fished it out and flipped it over.

"...It's literally just a smartphone."

"Hm? Did you say something?"

"Nothing at all."

The device bore an uncanny resemblance to a certain Galaxy series flagship. From its appearance to its operating interface, it was indistinguishable from a modern smartphone. You couldn't search the wider internet, but it supported closed-network community forums, text messaging, voice calls, and even mobile games.

Whenever I stumbled across absurdly anachronistic over-technology like this in what was supposedly a pseudo-medieval setting, I genuinely wrestled with the existential crisis that I might actually be stuck inside a Korean web novel.

Well, brooding over it wouldn't solve anything. I tapped the screen to check my assignment.

Class S.

The academy sorted its three hundred students into ten tiers from S to I based on evaluated competence, with thirty students per room. Unless someone was a monstrous generational talent, Class S was typically reserved for imperial royalty and high-ranking nobles—scions who had been gorged on royal elixirs and spoon-fed pinnacle knowledge since childhood.

In other words, every single one of the Persons of Interest on my surveillance list had landed in my class.

As if to prove the point, the class roster appeared on the terminal screen, ordered neatly by entrance rank.

Oho. Look who made the cut.

The roster was dazzling from top to bottom, but honestly, I didn't care about the rest—I was just amazed that Paulstein clown had managed to claw his way into Class S. Did he buy his way in through his ducal house's influence, or was he slightly less useless than he looked?

Either way, I couldn't wait to see what kind of pathetic tantrum he'd throw next. Just as I was happily scheming how best to tenderize my personal punching bag for maximum comedic payoff, Iris spoke up.

"Kyle."

"Yes, Your Highness?"

Her delicate brows knitted together, a look of distinct discomfort washing over her face.

"Doesn't it feel like... everyone is staring at us?"

She wasn't imagining things. Now that we had arrived near the main entrance, throngs of students were pouring through the gates, and nearly all of them were looking in our direction. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠More accurately, they were glaring at me while whispering furiously behind their hands.

It felt bizarre for the spotlight to be fixed entirely on me rather than the imperial princess. Sensing something was wrong, I channeled mana to enhance my hearing and tuned in to a conversation between two noble ladies passing nearby.

The snippets floating into my ears were... spectacular.

"Oh heavens, is that commoner the sexual predator from the rumors?! But why is Her Highness walking with him?"

"I know, right...? Do you think he's blackmailing the poor princess?"

"How horrifying! Our poor, gentle princess... what will become of her?!"

Every whisper echoing across the plaza led to the exact same conclusion: I was a depraved scoundrel who had assaulted the Third Princess and brutally battered an honorable nobleman who bravely stepped forward to protect her honor.

The pieces clicked together in an instant.

Ah. That bastard.

Konrad von Paulstein had cooked this up.

I casually filled Iris in on the rumors spreading through the crowd.

The reaction was instantaneous. Iris flew into a berserk rage, baring her fangs and preparing to march straight toward Konrad to snap his neck like a twig. I had to physically grab her shoulder to hold her back.

"Your Highness, please. Calm down for a second."

"Calm down?! How am I supposed to calm down right now?! They're framing you for disgusting crimes you never committed!!"

My plea had zero calming effect, of course, but knowing she was this furious entirely on my behalf was genuinely heartwarming. I was touched.

"Your Highness, I don't care about these rumors in the slightest. Just catch your breath."

I was about to lay out a brilliant plan for how we could make Konrad choke on his own medicine, but—

"Aaargh! I can't take this! Even if you can stomach it, Kyle, I won't allow it! I'm marching over there to set the record straight right this second!!"

She spun on her heel and stormed off with fiery resolve, intent on 'fixing' the situation herself.

Watching her indignant back march into the fray, a single thought echoed in my mind.

Welp. This is going to blow up into an absolute catastrophe.

In all the years I had known Iris Ramila Dragonia, she had never once resolved an issue by taking matters into her own hands. On the contrary, she possessed a god-given, transcendent genius ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠for multiplying any problem by a factor of ten.

Under normal circumstances, I would have thrown myself forward, clutched her skirt, and dragged her back by force.

...Except this time, the bigger the fire, the better.

Let Konrad's little scheme snowball out of control. Let it swell and overflow until the trap he laid swallows the entire courtyard, cutting off any possibility of retreat. And once he's thoroughly cornered, I'll drown him in every ounce of humiliation this academy has to offer.

Just imagining the look on his face when he realizes he's trapped in his own grave made my heart race with pure, unadulterated excitement. At this rate, I was going to be too energized to even take a nap during class.