I Was an Outcast, You Know

My routine for wishing for an incident-free day is simple. After dropping off the documents at my desk, I head to the smoking area with the industry team leader. We light our cigarettes with a hiss and exchange a bit of small talk.

"Team leader, heading out for fieldwork again today?"

"Haa, yeah. Gotta go. One more person left, so the workload's piling up."

"Hahaha… Hang in there."

Among the nicknames for civil servants, there's "iron rice bowl." It comes from the extreme job security. You rarely get fired, so it makes sense. But because of that, no one leaves, and the upper ranks stagnate. That's why many newcomers quit over the unfairness and absurdity. It'd be strange to stay if you had the skills to switch jobs elsewhere.

"Hoo."

Once the chat ends, I stub out my cigarette, tell him to stay strong, and we head back inside together.

"……"

But my routine seems to be going off track right from the start. Lee Yoo-na smirks when she sees me come in. She looks like she wants to tease me. Was she always like that? No, she wasn't. Pretty young women often become targets of gossip. That's why Lee Yoo-na at the township office was always the quiet type who just did her own work. She only smiled brightly when heading out for customized welfare visits. But why is she smiling now? And at me, of all people? I must've picked the wrong childhood friend.

I ignore her and sit at my desk. Lee Yoo-na pouts, lips jutting out as she stares at her monitor. Seriously, is she a kid? While I'm scratching my forehead, she glances over at me. I should play along. I give her a quick wink, and only then does she break into a quiet smile. Is she really a child? Maybe I messed up the hypnosis. Hmm.

[Heyyy] [Hey] [e] [Hey] [Hey] [Heyhey] [eey]

She sends a string of messages full of typos. Startled by the vibration, I quickly snatch my phone off the desk. When I glare at Lee Yoo-na, she's grinning ear to ear. I'm screwed. If anyone finds out, it'll spread to the big shots in the civil affairs team in no time. I press a hand to my forehead and think. Lee Yoo-na's personality was supposed to be quiet, pure, calm, and mature. But she's acting like a total brat.

[You know we can't get caught at work, right?]

I ask as calmly as possible.

[Of course.]

This little… She knows and still ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠does it. But I'm just as shallow—seeing her cheeky smile makes me melt. That's why women are on every guy's "be careful" list. One wrong move and you'll hand over your liver and gallbladder.

The routine's broken, but I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠still have work to do. I need to prepare materials for next week's village head meeting.

[● Hana 3-ri beautification work]

[● Saetdeul 1-ri festival procedure]

……

Since it's a meeting with village heads, I also have to collect their complaints and summarize them briefly.

"……"

But I feel eyes on me. Is she not delivering side dishes or whatever today? She could do that even with a compact car. Or at least come over to say hello. I don't look in that direction at all.

"Who's the director here?! Huh?!"

"Sir…, you can't do this here…, we'll…"

"Who are you calling sir?! Did I teach you? Huh?"

Everyone's attention turns to the raspy old man's voice. The new hire, still fresh, looks completely lost. Ah, the civil affairs team leader will handle that. I'll just do my own work… Wait, why is everyone looking at me again? The civil affairs team leader's desk has an "out on fieldwork" sign.

"Hoo."

I take a deep breath and plaster on a fake smile.

"Oh dear~, sir~."

"Who are you calling sir?! Huh! What, are you the representative here?!"

"The complaint you filed is handled by the Hana-dong office, so you'll need to go there~."

I explain as gently as possible. I have no idea why he's filing a complaint in someone else's neighborhood. Thud!

"Kyaa!"

"Oh my!"

Something flies over my head. It smells sour—I know that scent well. Why is he carrying spoiled kimchi?

"Isn't this the same Korea?! Huh! Then why can't I do it here?!"

He huffs and suddenly storms out. Feeling everyone's eyes on me, I give a thumbs-up.

"Haha, I'm fine."

Just think of it as warding off bad luck first thing in the morning. Yeah, if I want that pension, this much is nothing. With all the talk about pension funds running dry these days, if it really comes to that, I won't stay quiet.

"A-are you okay?"

"Yes, yes. I'm fine. These aren't expensive clothes anyway. It'll wash out."

Still smiling, I head to the bathroom and pick the kimchi bits out of my hair. Whoosh. Thanks to the toiletries I keep for emergencies like this, I manage to clean up. Creak. When I open the door, Lee Yoo-na is waiting with a worried face.

"Lee Yoo-na, what's the matter…? Do I need to drive the truck or something?"

"Huh? Oh, no! I-it's not that, I was just a little worried…"

"Ah, I'm really fine."

She came after all. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠But if it's just the two of us, people will get suspicious. I go back to my desk and start working. Everyone keeps glancing at me. I'm seriously okay. Smile. Keep smiling.

"Hoo."

When I let out a deep sigh, everyone flinches.

"There's quite a bit of work. Haha."

"……"

Still, by the time lunch passes, the atmosphere returns to normal. I guess that's a relief. Nothing else happens after that. Big incidents don't occur at a rural township office anyway.

Right before quitting time. Ring ring!

"Yes, Saetdeul-myeon Administrative Welfare Center, Maeng Do-yun speaking."

[Maeng, you know the stream in Hana 2-ri?!]

"Yes, Director!"

[You need to come out here!]

Why? "Yes sir! I'll be right there!"

[Oh, okay!]

Click! Our damn director's voice is way too cheerful—he must've had a few drinks. Sure enough, I find him at the thatched pavilion, chugging thick makgeolli with the village head he's close with and some local bigwigs. I built that pavilion last year with government funds when I was a newbie. I wondered why at the time, but now I get it.

"Director! I'm here!"

"Hey! What took you so long?! Let's go!"

"Yes sir!"

The director climbs into the car after heartily greeting his drinking buddies. I don't see it as unfair or inconvenient. It's the power my future self will wield and the model behavior of a model local civil servant. Getting paid to mess around during work hours? How beautiful is that?

"Kuh~, this is all for regional stabilization and checking the local mood. Right, Maeng?"

"Yes sir! Absolutely correct!"

"Kekeke! I like you. You're not like other young folks these days!"

"Hehehe! I still have a lot to learn from you, Director!"

Later, I plan to build a park on some empty rural land using government money. But I'll make it look shabby and half-baked so it doesn't become famous and attract visitors. That way people will naturally complain, "More tax waste!" Then I can use it like my own private park. That was my modest dream.

I drop the director off and head back.

"Now that it's the weekend, I should rest properly."

I lean back in the driver's seat that smells like me after all these years.

[Hey!]

[Heyhey!]

[Do-yun!]

[Do-yun-ah!]

[Do]

[Yun]

What's with her now?

[What]

[You off work?]

[Just now]

The reply comes instantly, then stops for a moment.

[You live in Building 1, right?]

I currently live in the youth rental housing, and yes, it's Building 1.

[?]

[I'm in 102! I see you in the parking lot sometimes when you leave for work]

What? The building right next door? How did I not know?

[Wanna get chicken and beer?]

This doesn't feel real. Lee Yoo-na is teasing me, messaging me, and suggesting chicken and beer. I feel like I'm being pranked on camera.

[Okay, I'll shower and head out]

As soon as I get home, I take a shower. The faint smell of spoiled kimchi finally comes off. I throw on some worn-out sweats and a long padded coat, then head to the pub in front of the building. The area looks clean because it's a new town development zone. Ding~ The bell on the door rings as I enter. First time at this pub.

"Do-yun~."

Lee Yoo-na waves from the corner.

"Huh? Why didn't you change clothes?"

"Oh? Well… I didn't know when you'd get here."

"……You waited?"

I sit across from her and ask.

"Yeah, are you okay today?"

She's still kind and gentle at heart. Because of the suggestion making her think we're friends, she worries about me more than herself. Must be because she came from the welfare department. She's too nice.

"What about the chicken? Did you order?"

"Not yet!"

"Then let's do half-and-half and two 500ml beers."

"Okay!"

After ordering, I look at her. It still doesn't feel real. We'd worked in the same space for a year but never had a proper conversation. We occasionally went out together in the truck, but it was all strictly business talk.

"Still, that was too much."

"……?"

"The kimchi, I mean. How could they do that to someone?"

Lee Yoo-na pouts as she speaks. Being worried about by her feels strange.

"Well, it happens."

"Hey~. Still. You're too nice!"

Getting called nice by Lee Yoo-na. But the conversation flows better than I expected. We talk over the beer with no awkward pauses.

"Oh, right."

Lee Yoo-na suddenly looks like she remembered something.

"It's really weird—the kids don't know you."

She says it with genuine confusion. My heart drops for a second. There's no way a single suggestion could rewrite the entire timeline of her life. Plausibility. If we've been friends since childhood, there should be shared memories and experiences. There aren't any.

"Even the guys don't know you~. Weird. Don't you remember Sang-hyun and So-young?"

Lee Yoo-na looks genuinely curious. From what she says, I can tell a few things. First, she genuinely believes I'm her childhood friend. Second, even if people around her have doubts, the suggestion doesn't break easily. Third, this is when the TIP appears.

The TIP appears according to the situation. And all of this tells me one thing.

'The Hypnosis App is real.'

If this were all a prank, Lee Yoo-na wouldn't react like that. She wouldn't have created a situation where it's just the two of us eating chicken either. My mind starts racing.

"Ah~. That's……"

I pause for a moment and look into her eyes. She's waiting for my next words with genuine curiosity.

"Want me to tell you?"

"Ah~! What?! I was listening seriously!"

When I tease her, Lee Yoo-na's shoulders jump.

"Okay~. I won't joke. But look at this for three seconds."

"Huh? What is it?"

The memory of the candle and app had been deleted from her mind. That's why she doesn't notice anything even when I openly hold the phone's candle flame up to her. Flick. I tap the screen and the candle lights up.

"It's just a candle, right?"

She looks at me, puzzled.

"Look at the candle, not me."

"Huh? Oh, okay."

This is just your average neighborhood pub. Each table has partitions for some privacy. The kitchen is near the entrance, we're in the corner, and the music isn't too loud or too soft. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Three seconds pass quickly.

"……"

Lee Yoo-na's clear eyes go ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hazy. When I move the phone aside, her gaze follows the flame. Doubt isn't bad, but doubting even after seeing the effect is stupid. If you're sure, you have to push forward.

"What is your relationship with me?"

"……Childhood… friends……"

"Tell me your height and weight."

"……163……52……kilos……"

Unless she's an actress, an ordinary person—especially Lee Yoo-na—couldn't fake being this dazed. A faint smile forms on my lips. I asked the same questions as before just to confirm. Now that that's done, what I need is the missing plausibility.

"I was an outcast at another school."

"……Another… out… cast…"

Since she's highly empathetic and considerate, sympathy is a good conversational tool.

"I was bullied as a child."

"……Child… out… cast…"

Lee Yoo-na blankly repeats what I say. When implanting the suggestion, I vary the verbs but keep repeating the subject "outcast."

"Because I was an outcast at another school, our friends don't overlap."

"……School… out… cast… friends… don't… overlap……"

I center it on "outcast" and add plausibility. I need to tell her how the outcast changed.

"Thanks to you, the outcast gained confidence."

"……Out… cast…… gained… con… fidence……"

"That became pride, so we could become best friends."

Finally, I plant pride. Since I didn't repeat it, the suggestion's power will be weaker, but it's enough. Even a small thought can be filled in by human imagination.

Whoosh! Time passes and the candle goes out. I hide the phone and wait a moment.

"Ah…. My eyes feel dry again……"

"No eye drops?"

"Mm, maybe because it's winter. I need to buy some."

While she rubs her eyes, I check my phone.

The percentage gauge appears again. I'm getting the hang of how to use it. So I can stack suggestions. With time, she'll become a completely different person.

"You asked earlier if the others don't know me, right?"

I speak first.

"Huh? Yeah!"

"Don't remember? I'm a bit disappointed."

"Eh? Ehh? Why~!"

She looks flustered instead.

"I was an outcast. An outcast at another school. Don't remember?"

"Huh…? Really? Was that…?"

I speak with an acting mask on my face.

"Wow…! You…, that's really too much."

"Ehh?"

She looks quite flustered at my reaction, even if she doesn't know why. Now it's time to fill in the plausibility that the suggestion lacked.

"It's natural they don't know since it was another school."

"R-really…?"

"You approached me every day because I was an outcast and alone. Played with me. Just the two of us."

I don't stop.

"Try to remember. You felt sorry for me and took me out to play alone every day."

By tomorrow, she'll understand everything.

"Sorry…. I really don't remember. What do I do?"

She's honest as always. Genuinely flustered and apologizing to me. Hmm…, hypnosis is fun.

"Nah, it's fine. Let's just drink."

I raise my glass to her, who's fidgeting anxiously.

"Eing……"

In the end, she never remembers. Of course she wouldn't. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.