A New Beginning
The sound of rain pattered down relentlessly. The noise of raindrops striking the ground and splashing up blood made me wonder if I had misheard. Could something as simple as disgust really sound so long-winded and wrong? I asked again, just to make sure.
“...Did I hear that wrong?”
When I spoke, Eryk turned to me with a deeply furrowed brow and replied in a tone that suggested I couldn’t possibly have misheard.
“You heard correctly. Vampires have especially good ears, after all.”
“......”
“It’s an order. You know what happens if you disobey a superior’s command during wartime, don’t you?”
To disobey an order not to die by threatening to kill me instead—what the hell was that supposed to mean? Since it was something I often said on the battlefield myself, I asked once more.
“Are you saying you’ll kill me, sir?”
“If necessary.”
Eryk’s icy expression made the pistol tucked at his waist catch my eye. But I wasn’t afraid.
“Why are you giving such an order?”
“......”
Eryk didn’t answer. Instead, his cold eyes—completely devoid of any emotion—stared straight at me.
“...Don’t die.”
I had no intention of dying in the first place. No matter how harshly I had to struggle, I planned to survive desperately. Even if it meant writhing in the most hideous way possible. So that in the end, I could still smile. So that I could feel the pain of being alive even more intensely. So that I would never grow numb to that pain or the guilt that came with it. I would survive until the very end.
“...I won’t die by your hand either.”
I glared at him as I spoke. Eryk, who had been watching me, replied,
“No. You will die by my hand.”
“No matter how much you struggle, I will chase you to the end so you can never escape, and I will kill you.”
“My life has been sworn to the extermination of vampires.”
As he said that, Eryk placed a premium cigarette between his lips.
“...Though I suppose I can afford to spare one.”
“......”
“Well, if you keep struggling, I’ll enjoy it all the more.”
With those words, Eryk gave me a mocking sneer and walked away.
Ever since he learned I was a vampire, Eryk had become unnaturally cold. Yet the coat he had given me carried a scent that was...
“...It smells good.”
A warmth and gentleness so pleasant it almost felt offensive.
“...It makes me sick.”
Because of it, my stomach churned violently. The rain kept falling. It felt like the tears of my comrades who had died unjustly by my hands. I slipped my body into the safety of the shadows to avoid it. My chilled frame slowly regained its warmth thanks to Eryk’s coat. The sensation, the sense of relief—it was so hateful that something slid down my cheek.
“...I’m sorry, everyone.”
Only then did I realize that what had been flowing down my face wasn’t rain, but tears. I hadn’t wanted to know. The moment I acknowledged it—
“Ugh…!!”
“Uweeegh!!”
I felt utterly disgusted with myself. Red blood mixed into my vomit. Of course, it wasn’t mine. It was the blood of those poor subordinates whose lives I had taken today.
“I shouldn’t… be throwing this up… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Collapsed on the ground, I muttered those words. By vomiting it out, I had reduced their lives to something trivial. That guilt pressed down hard on my chest once again today.
Eryk, having entered his office, stared at his reflection in the mirror and asked himself,
‘...What the hell am I doing?’
He had shown kindness to a vampire. To the very race that had dragged his family to their deaths.
“...Eryk, have you forgotten?”
“The father who sacrificed himself first, telling us to run?”
“The mother who was toyed with by vampires afterward?”
“...And your little sister, who screamed until the end, begging to be spared…?”
He asked himself the question over and over. Had he forgotten them? He hadn’t. He didn’t want to forget. The way rage boiled up inside him every time he looked at Valentine, that repulsive woman, proved it. Yet at the same time, the sympathy and some inexplicable unpleasant feeling that rose alongside it left Eryk deeply confused.
While his unconscious mind asked if he had forgotten his family, it simultaneously questioned what any of that had to do with Valentine. Valentine wasn’t one of those vampires. Valentine was a hero of the Empire and a benefactor of the nation. Every time Valentine drank blood, she would say,
‘...I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…….’
‘It’s disgusting… I hate myself…….’
She felt guilt and self-loathing. And Eryk had seen it all.
“...She’s just another vampire……”
‘Is she really?’
“Does the nature of that race disappear just because of that? In the end, she’s still a parasite who can’t resist her bloodlust.”
‘Could a starving human truly suppress their hunger?’
Whenever reason denied it, his unconscious mind refuted the claim. It felt like he was going insane.
“......”
He was tired. Eryk, weighed down by accumulated stress, stopped thinking altogether. He no longer knew what he even wanted to do. Whenever he tried to kill Valentine, his body simply wouldn’t obey. Hesitation kept creeping in, again and again.
Eryk pulled a cigarette from his pocket. It was one of the premium cigarettes he had once had taken from him by Valentine.
‘...I’ll be taking this. Consider it a token of our ill-fated connection.’
The voice of Valentine, wearing a faint smile as she gently took the cigarette from him as if it were something precious, echoed in his mind. Eryk realized that even in this situation, he was still thinking about her.
He looked out at the rain falling outside. The unit had been turned into something of a mess.
“...Valentine.”
“Just what……”
Eryk stopped there. Because from the radio came the Emperor’s declaration of war.
Hear me, Republican Union.
You have dared to touch the skies of this land.
You have violated the people of the heavens and launched an attack upon a nation that belongs to an Emperor as vast as the sky itself.
You mistook the Empire’s silence for weakness.
You took the Empire’s mercy as your natural right.
My Empire declares that it will no longer tolerate such arrogance.
The Empire shall draw the sword of justice.
And we shall begin our revenge.
I will make you regret touching the heavens with the fury of all people.
Know that there will be no compromise, no mercy.
My Empire shall stand eternal and undying, and you shall be erased from this world.
The continent shall be engulfed in the flames of war.
History will remember Emperor Serena Augusta as the greatest conqueror of all.
Wail as much as you wish. Struggle hideously. Beg for forgiveness.
None of it will change a thing.
Having listened to the Emperor’s lengthy speech, Eryk exhaled the cigarette smoke he had drawn in deeply and fell into thought.
“...For the glory of the Empire.”
Dragging my exhausted body back to my quarters, I lay down on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.
The Holy War has begun!
Survive.
The system left only that mission behind before vanishing once again. It seemed the tiresome war was about to begin anew. The story I didn’t know was finally starting. Unlike the past where I had known everything, I had now become a blank sheet of paper—just like everyone else, knowing nothing. That sense of helplessness clouded my vision.
“I want a cigarette.”
Thinking that, I rummaged through my pocket. A completely soaked cigarette tumbled out and fell beneath the bed.
“...It won’t even light.”
I muttered with a grimace and let out a deep sigh.
“...Might as well warm up.”
With that thought, I stripped off my damp clothes. I stepped into the shower and let hot water pour over my entire body. Starting tomorrow, once we headed to the front lines, even hot water like this would become a luxury. The thought crossed my mind. As I washed, the realization that all these comforts might be my last made everything feel even more hopeless.
“...It feels refreshing, but somehow dirty.”
I muttered with a dull expression. The thought of being deployed to the front lines tomorrow wouldn’t leave me alone the entire time I was washing. If anything, it only made me feel more unsettled.
I tossed my uniform into the washing machine and changed the damp bedsheets.
“Haa……”
I lay down once more on the soft bed. Perhaps because of the warmth, my eyes slowly began to close.
‘...Will I be able to open my eyes again tomorrow?’
With that worry in mind, I pulled my body tightly against itself. Thanks to Eryk’s and my subordinates’ blood, my body was warm. How long had it been since I last felt this kind of warmth? Thinking that, I drifted off to sleep.
“Hurry up! Move faster!!”
The next day, from early morning, I was pushing my subordinates hard. The war had begun. I shouted as I shoved them into the military trucks. Packed tightly into the cramped space, they looked like nothing more than disposable goods. No—now that the war had started, that was exactly what they were. It no longer mattered that they were someone’s son or daughter. They were merely consumables for the desires of those in power. Nothing more than tools to advance even one more meter.
“Depart.”
Knowing all of that, I still gave the order. At my command, the trucks began to move, carrying the soldiers toward the battlefield. There was zero chance they would survive until the end of the war. Not after picking a fight with the Union.
“...At the very least, we must win and clear away their resentment.”
I muttered as I gripped my black blade tightly. The more sorry I felt, the more I had to go mad on the battlefield. That was my only way to atone for pushing them into this hell.
“......”
“Please, die without pain.”
I murmured while watching the military trucks drive away. I prayed that they would not die in agony.