23. First Love
23. First Love
Breakfast was over.
They had given me the expected appearances and scores.
Probably since it was the second time, scores around 10 or below.
Still, if they were happy, I'm satisfied.
Especially Shin A-yeong, who had wanted kimchi jjigae,
Whether because of the tongue piercing marks,
She was in pain yet immersed in happiness.
Exactly like me yesterday.
Satisfying them with rice instead of night techniques
Made me feel a little inadequate as a man.
After the meal, they began cleaning the annex and backyard,
While I started cleaning the garden and the main house.
The mansion didn't have a single vacuum cleaner—
Just a small palm-sized broom and dustpan.
Probably tools meant for sweeping up
Desk eraser dust and such.
When I asked them about cleaning tools,
They said that until now, cleaning companies had brought their own equipment,
Cleaned, and then left with their gear.
It was because Father hated seeing
Useless objects piling up in the mansion.
So even though there was a pool and an outdoor bath,
There wasn't a single storage room.
Unlike Father,
I hated useless sculptures cluttering the garden,
And I wanted the mansion to be convenient to use.
Even the main house's layout required going around the backyard,
And when I thought about the household affairs,
I realized Father and I were different.
Father and I had similar tastes, yet different ones.
Especially when it came to women.
We both enjoyed
Sadistic acts toward submissive women.
However, the difference between Father and me was—
Father enjoyed destroying women.
Physically or mentally.
He threw Kim Hyeon-ah, his mother-substitute,
To homeless men.
It wasn't about a fetish like NTR;
He wanted to see her falling apart.
He always made her crawl on all fours.
Every time he undressed her, he probably delighted
In seeing her bruised knees.
Her body was covered in horrific scars and tattoos.
Seeing beautiful women become ugly must have been
Father's greatest satisfaction.
If it were me, even if I were sadistic,
I'd want to hold those pretty women.
Watching them crawl like dogs on all fours
Honestly stimulates my sadistic side and is enjoyable.
But what I want to see
Is them in submission poses—not bruises and blood.
I would have had them wear soft flooring
Or SM gear with knee protection.
The mental aspect is the same.
Father must have enjoyed watching them
Wither away.
I'm different. It's contradictory, but
I want to abuse them while they have healthy minds.
If Father was the type who enjoyed
Beating and despising the sick,
Then I'm the type who gives sickness and then gives medicine.
After last night's events,
I can now acknowledge and accept it.
Though I'm different from Father,
We're still the same after all.
I suddenly thought of a use for the three empty rooms.
Their wardrobe.
I want to stop seeing those damn kimonos.
I want to dress them in pretty clothes.
I'm not normal either, but
I'm better than Father, who prefers
Broken women over pretty ones.
Let's buy two large wardrobes.
Let's put in vanity tables too.
The rooms are disgustingly large anyway.
The second room will be their room.
Let's move their base
From that creepy annex to the main house.
It'll be easier to call them anytime,
And if the three of us use separate main and annex buildings,
Cleaning becomes too much work.
The annex will remain as a punishment space.
I thought about making the third room a guest room,
Then wondered if I even had
Anyone close enough to stay over.
Would Mother perhaps come?
What would Mother think
When she sees Hyeon-ah and A-yeong?
If she sees the annex...
I'll explain Hyeon-ah and A-yeong as housekeepers,
And the annex as Father's hobby.
Let's renovate the unnecessarily large basement dojo
Into a storage area for vacuum cleaners and various tools.
I'll need a cabinet.
There were mountains of things to do in the mansion,
But no tools or supplies had arrived yet.
Sitting at the desk in the study,
I jot down needed items on a memo pad.
A desk fit for a high-ranking corporate executive.
Later, should I have A-yeong or Hyeon-ah under the desk
And fulfill a man's fantasy?
More than anything else, I need a dining table.
I hate eating the food I've carefully prepared
While sitting on the floor.
And a vacuum cleaner.
A large bed for my room, a computer desk, a cabinet.
One large cabinet for storage.
A computer for my room. I'll buy the highest specs.
Two wardrobes for their dressing room.
Two vanity tables too.
Two small cabinets for their room.
They can store personal items separately.
If I give them beds, they'll probably start
Talking about slave conduct codes again.
I'll just buy them soft futons.
I want to stop seeing their bruised skin.
Buying their clothes myself is out of the question.
I'll have to let them shop themselves, but shopping
In barefoot kimonos is ridiculous,
So I'll buy two sets of training clothes and two pairs of shoes
In advance, then go shopping together.
I also want to partially renovate the basement facilities
To include things like a karaoke room.
Installing a large screen for watching movies would be nice too.
It's not urgent,
But doing it all at once during renovation
Would be better.
The rest I'll buy through shopping with them.
Managing the basement pool is beyond me for now.
It's off-limits until I find a manager
Or learn how to maintain it.
And later, when I'm connected to the Organization,
Through their hospital, I'll get Kim Hyeon-ah tested for STDs,
And get Shin A-yeong fitted with an IUD for contraception.
I should also look into removing their tattoos.
If possible, I'd like to reconstruct
Kim Hyeon-ah's ruined breasts and genitals.
I return to my room and press the call bell for the annex.
In less than a minute,
They carefully open my door.
They seem to have come abruptly from cleaning.
They're out of breath.
"You called for us, Master-nim."
The first call bell.
I can feel their tension.
"I'm going out for a bit."
Actually, I had no particular business.
I just called to let them know in case they wondered
Where I'd suddenly disappeared.
"Please go safely, Master-nim."
Leaving the mansion, I realize
My outfit doesn't suit the estate.
A saggy white t-shirt, jeans, worn-out sneakers.
Should I buy myself some clothes too?
I'm walking to find a nearby mart when
A car dealership catches my eye.
A domestic car dealership representing our country.
Beautiful cars on display.
I'll need a car, right?
I step inside.
There are so many people I wonder
If car dealerships are always this busy.
Dealers at various tables are enthusiastically
Explaining things to customers.
"How may I help you?"
"I came to look at cars."
"I see. We have quite a few customers who just arrived,
So please wait a moment."
The entrance employee guides me to a waiting area
And pours me some coffee.
I once wanted to buy a car.
Back then, my dream car was a large truck.
I'd heard truck drivers made considerable income.
To hold onto that dream, I considered a large truck,
But it probably wouldn't fit in the parking lot,
So I decided on an SUV instead.
It doesn't have to be an ultra-premium car
Like Attorney Kang Min-jeong's,
But I'll go with the highest-end domestic SUV.
I look at the displayed cars and roughly make up my mind.
Quite some time passes.
The coffee they gave me is long gone.
Suddenly, I realize my current outfit
Looks more like someone browsing
Than someone buying a car.
I decide to just come back later and stand up,
But right on cue, the entrance employee guides me
To a dealer who's just finished a consultation.
"Hello, customer. I'm Manager Lee Ha-young."
As she greets me, I look at her and think,
That Fate Card is playing tricks again.
"Long time no see. You work here?"
At my awkward greeting, she looks at me
Quizzically.
"Kim... Seonmin?"
Freshman year of university. My reunion with my first girlfriend
Happened in the most unexpected place.
"I heard you dropped out. Have you been well?"
The most awkward relationship in a reunion.
An ex-girlfriend.
"Well. Stuff happened."
"Did you move to this neighborhood?"
"Yeah. I moved here the day before yesterday. You seem to be doing well.
Already a manager—that's impressive."
"I need the manager title so people don't look down on me and I can make sales.
They promote people to manager really fast here."
We continue our awkward conversation.
"I heard... something happened. Are you doing okay?"
By "something," she probably means my violence incident.
"I dropped out because of that, worked for a while,
And now I'm unemployed."
"An unemployed person comes to buy a car?"
"Father passed away, and the inheritance was pretty substantial."
"Really? Lucky you.
Customer, let me recommend this car."
She jokingly shows me a catalog
With an expensive car pictured.
The highest-end sedan in the country. The kind with a dignified image
That corporate executives might drive,
But looking at the picture, it seems suitable
For young people too.
I hesitate a little.
I was thinking about an SUV.
But the flashy car in the catalog is tempting.
Whatever. Even if I buy this and an SUV,
It'll still be cheaper than a foreign car.
"Alright. Let's go with that."
"Should we make it a 72-month installment plan?"
"No, cash. I hate paying interest."
"Wow, customer, you're impressive.
How about the highest trim with all options?"
"Yeah, let's do that."
She's joking, but I'm serious.
"Should I get it in bright red?"
"No. Black. Sedans should be black."
"That'll be 86.82 million won.
As part of this month's promotion, I'll throw in three boxes of tissues."
Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen any tissues in the house.
That works out.
"It's an expensive car—give me one more box."
"I'll specially include it for you."
She says with a smile.
"Haven't seen you in so long. It really brings back memories."
"Right. I don't know how to describe it... I thought
I wouldn't know what to say if we met again,
That it would be incredibly awkward."
"I thought I might slap you if I saw you again.
Do you still hate me a lot?"
"No. It's all in the past. How long ago was that?"
"Seeing you again makes me a little sorry.
I don't know if it means anything now,
But I apologize."
"No. I was pretty inadequate back then.
It's already old news—
Let's just leave it as our cringe history."
My first girlfriend, Lee Ha-young.
We met at freshman orientation and started dating immediately.
The brightest period of my life.
I even deluded myself into thinking we'd be together forever.
Then the sudden breakup announcement.
She said she was sorry but wouldn't even tell me
The reason for breaking up.
As time passed, I heard through her friends.
I was just a child who didn't know how to date.
Always busy with part-time jobs, I rarely met with her,
And our dates were always at cheap places.
Our 100-day anniversary gift was a frame I made myself.
Even now, I think I was a pathetic, embarrassing man.
She left me
And dated a rich, handsome senior.
When she was beside that senior,
I thought she shone.
Knowing the fate of a man obsessed with a woman who left,
I gave her up.
Not that there wasn't sadness.
During guard duty in the military, I thought of her a lot.
After that, I dated two more women
And got dumped both times, but I never held onto them.
I thought of Father too,
But they weren't normal women
That could be held onto anyway.
If anything, Lee Ha-young was the kindest
Woman who left me.
Silently transferring to another man—so what?
Suddenly saying she was sick, not showing up to dates,
Becoming a day-1 with that senior—so what?
A month after dating him, on my birthday,
She dumped me—so what?
No, thinking about it, it does piss me off.
Even if not a slap,
I kind of want to give her a flick on the forehead.