Chapter 8. This year for sure! (4)
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It's a disaster.
Soi thought, breaking into a cold sweat internally.
There wasn't really any special reason she called Jihye and Mirae over. They were just hovering around in front of her, and at a glance, they seemed like they wanted to join in.
It was fine even sitting them next to her, and it was fine talking about the game.
But as luck would have it, Jihye tried to touch Lua's chest.
No, no, of course it wasn't the 'real Lua,' and strictly speaking, touching Lua's chest was something she did almost every day anyway.
Chaeyi was also brazenly snuggling into Lua's arms every day too.
But, how should she put it. For some reason, she disliked it.
When Soi or Chaeyi put their hands on Lua's body, Lua's reaction was usually quite indifferent. Of course, she sometimes let out a "Heuhet" of a cute sound and got embarrassed in her own way, but because she had built up a tolerance to Soi, who had been clingy since long ago, she wouldn't be greatly startled unless someone deliberately tried to embarrass her.
But this character resembling Lua in this game... showed reactions that the real-life Lua didn't often display.
Not simply blushing, but as if she disliked it a little, yet as if she disliked stopping too, covering her body and getting lightly angry—a somewhat mischievous reaction that Lua would absolutely never show...
Ah.
Anyway, Soi unknowingly grabbing Jihye's hand was because of that reason.
In the brief moment she had blanked out, Lua, Jihye, and Mirae lightly exchanged greetings... and the gaze she felt.
Turning her head, she saw Chaeyi's eyes, with her face slightly leaned forward.
For some reason, Chaeyi's narrowed eyes looking at Soi had a considerably suspicious expression, so Soi blushed.
She can't say it.
The fact that she had recently searched about the game and this character and found out there were things like figures.
The fact that she had agonized over whether to buy one just because that character was cute, but then felt like something was off and didn't.
The fact that even outside official media, there were many people drawing art of that character, and among that art, there were plenty that even Soi would be startled into closing...!
That's how it is.
Lua thought about Soi as "just a normal person who got a character they like a bit," but Soi had already slowly and unknowingly walked herself to a point where it was hard to back out.
Lua, and even Soi herself, had absolutely no way of knowing that the reason Soi tilted her head wondering why dakimakura were necessary was because, in any case, the real Lua was sleeping next to her every night.
"Lu-Lua, you too, play this game?"
"Uh, yeah."
Jihye struck up a conversation with Lua.
"Actually, I was playing it even before Soi..."
At Lua's words, Jihye's expression brightened.
"Is that so! I like it too! Actually, I even have a few figures!"
"Uh, uh, is that so?"
Lua was very flustered by Jihye's suddenly brightened words.
"Fi-figures are pretty, yeah."
Is that so?
They were pretty. Since they were three-dimensional compared to illustrations, they were genuinely pretty.
Did Lua think it was fine too?
Come to think of it, maybe Lua had been playing this game first—
With that, Soi's thoughts deepened further.
And Chaeyi was still watching Soi with narrowed eyes.
To be honest, the targets of that gaze included not only Soi but also the two beside Soi.
But for now, they were the ones Soi had brought in.
And for some reason, they were kids who subtly clicked with Lua in conversation.
"......"
For some reason, that gaze felt extremely guilty.
Soi desperately avoided Chaeyi's seemingly reproachful gaze.
The only thing happening was that the character inside the smartphone, who had ended up being toyed with by Soi's fingers, was wearing an exceedingly embarrassed expression.
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But, when we actually talked, Jihye and Mirae weren't entirely bad kids.
No, it's more like they had no reason to be bad in the first place.
They were just very timid and had a lot of fears.
Above all, the good point was that Jihye and Mirae didn't go out of their way to touch my body while talking.
No climbing on top of me, no burying their faces in my chest.
No, it's not that I dislike that.
But somehow, if it isn't Soi and Chaeyi, it just feels a bit... off.
It seemed that at school, they had only each other to talk with about things like comics and games, so having their 'comrades' increase like this made them feel very comfortable.
"Huh, I see Lua doesn't watch the new shows this season?"
...Though every time I see them showing off like that with such pointless things, I feel a bit of a surge.
But what can I do?
I was like that too when I was young.
Still, thanks to that, it's nice getting recommendations for fun anime and whatnot.
...Though sometimes they recommend works with way too many male characters, or no, works with not a single female character at all.
It can't be helped.
I already gave up on becoming popular in middle school, and Soi and Chaeyi know that I like stuff like games.
So now, I just read comics and such at home too. Since I already have two otaku among my friends, it's fine if one more increases, right?
Ah, but that's not to say we babbled on about such things in the classroom.
Meeting Jihye and Mirae was strictly outside the school building. In secluded spots where almost no other kids came out.
Soi and Chaeyi had their parents' prestige, and since I walked around with the two of them, there was someone who acted as a shield, but Jihye and Mirae didn't have that.
Just in case, if word of them talking with me spread to other kids, they might get ostracized.
"Lua, your expression seems brighter lately."
"Hmm, really?"
One day, Chaeyi asked that, and touched my face with both hands.
Of course, there's no way to know if my face has become brighter that way.
But if Chaeyi says so, it must be. Soi also seemed to have become a little less sharp these days.
"As expected, is it because your friends increased...?"
Chaeyi muttered.
"Uh, uh, is that so...?"
Maybe?
My best friends were Soi and Chaeyi. Honestly, while I talked about this and that with Jihye and Mirae, we hardly ever talked about personal matters.
It was just stories about games, comics, anime. If the fact that I like those things is "personal," then I guess it could be personal.
Those two also just liked sharing such stories; they didn't seem to want to enter my personal sphere.
...Come to think of it, that's why it was actually comfortable in some ways.
Once vacation started, unless I contacted them first, they wouldn't even think to contact me, but anyway.
Once school starts again, we'll run into each other and talk about comics again and such.
I was blankly thinking such thoughts, when Chaeyi muttered.
"Compared to that, I..."
"Chaeyi?"
I was a bit flustered at Chaeyi, who somehow hung her head gloomily.
Sitting on the living room sofa, Chaeyi moved the tips of her feet this way and that.
"Somehow, I feel like I'm not being of any strength to Lua..."
"N-no."
I hastily shook my head.
Right now, I have no friends. The ignoring from my classmates had very slightly improved compared to before, but it didn't seem like it would easily disappear.
I don't know if I'll be able to make new friends when I move up a grade, and transferring schools is a headache in many ways.
How could one of the only two close friends I have possibly not be a help? Just having someone who comes over to hang out at my house without me even calling first made me feel I wasn't alone.
"Ooing... really?"
"Yeah, yeah. Just being beside me is strength."
After saying it, my face blushed.
No, is it okay to say that directly? Isn't it too cringey?
But it was also the truth... because Soi and Chaeyi were both existence that were a great strength to me.
If anything happened to those two, I didn't know what would become of me either.
"Mm... then."
"Yeah?"
"Hold me."
As Chaeyi said that, she slightly turned her body toward me.
Without spreading her arms, she gazed at me steadily.
I was reflected in those clear eyes.
"Uh, um..."
Hesitantly, I spread my arms.
Then Chaeyi smiled slightly and leaned forward, burying her face in my chest.
I carefully reached out my arms and patted Chaeyi's back.
"Hihit."
Chaeyi laughed.
My chest area felt ticklish.
From Chaeyi's pink hair right below my face, a fragrant floral scent wafted—
"Aaaaaaht!?"
Just then, Soi, who had finished her shower and come out, let out an incredible yell and vigorously dashed toward me.
"What's this, what's this, is this an affair? An affair? Infidelity? Lua, how can you do this, leaving this eonni behind?"
I want to ask if it isn't a bit strange to call it an affair or infidelity between an eonni and dongsaeng in the first place.
"...Pfft."
Without realizing it, I let out a laugh.
Then Soi opened her eyes wide as if quite surprised.
Chaeyi also looked up at me with surprised eyes.
"Haha, hahaha!"
It had truly been a long time since I laughed so refreshingly.
Maybe because the psychological pressure vanished due to it being vacation.
Maybe because as time passed, I found it more bearable than I'd thought.
Or maybe just because, for some reason, I was happy that my precious friends were by my side right now.
I don't know exactly—
Well, even without popularity.
Thinking that middle school life won't be entirely gloomy and lonely.
Though I haven't exactly overcome my mass of trauma or anything.
I could think, just a little optimistically, that maybe I could get by moderately well at this rate.