Chapter 4. My popularity!? (5)
Chapter 4. My popularity!? (5)
The first thing I heard as soon as I got to school was praise about my appearance.
Soi's friends had swarmed around us, showering me with a barrage of compliments, saying how well the school uniform suited me.
I know I'm pretty, and I know that as long as I stick to the basics, fashion-wise, I usually look fine, but hearing it from someone else's mouth is a completely different story.
Besides, praise is burdensome.
In my past life, during my middle school days.
I once got a perfect score on an English test in my first year.
The test questions were easy. Only very basic stuff appeared.
But that was the root of the problem. Because the kids around me, and the teacher, thought I was something special.
To be honest, I also thought I had real talent.
The teacher stood me up in front of the kids and praised me endlessly, and the way my friends looked at me changed a bit.
But that was it. I bombed every test after that.
I only knew the basics because I'd learned them at an academy back in elementary school, and the test questions just happened to overlap with what I knew. Everything taught in the advanced courses after that was stuff I had to memorize from scratch.
I wish I'd just been bad at it from the start. If I'd never received any praise. If I'd just been average, blending in with everyone else.
Then, later on, even if I messed up a little, there wouldn't have been anyone to bring up those good grades, and I wouldn't have had to see the disappointed looks on my parents' faces.
I already had an easygoing impression, and maybe because of that, I looked even more like a pushover, which I think gave the troublemakers a reason to bully me.
"Look at her getting all shy."
"Don't be Soi's little sister, want to be mine instead?"
The kids saying that were all wearing school uniforms that clung tightly to their bodies, just like mine and Soi's.
It's a bit difficult to judge a person solely by their appearance, but, well, somehow.
I guess I have some bad memories.
"Who said you could take my little sister? You'll have to take me down first."
The kids burst into laughter at Soi's words.
"Lua-ya, don't worry. This eonni will protect you so no one else can kidnap you."
"U, um......."
Soi said, resting her arm on my shoulder. There was a desk between us, so Soi's posture ended up being incredibly uncomfortable, though.
......Isn't that a bit of a dangerous angle......? I've never worn a short skirt before, so is she just being careless?
I was about to point it out, but since no one else around seemed to care, I decided to just stay quiet.
"Nah, if it's a situation that needs protecting, Lua would obviously be the one doing the protecting. She's an ability user."
"That's right. Lua is a kid who's already awakened."
It probably wasn't sarcasm. It was genuine, pure praise.
Because these kids have never seen me use my power.
Soi doesn't really care about not having awakened her own ability, and above all, she doesn't doubt for a second that she will awaken it eventually. The other kids are the same.
I'm the only one who's worried, wondering if I'm overthinking things, or if I'm worrying too much about receiving this kind of evaluation just because I awakened my ability first.
"Then go ahead and try to take me. I'll call my mom right away."
"Boo, that's cowardly."
"Isn't it a foul to call your parents into a kids' fight?"
Laughter erupts again.
It seems like everyone just finds this atmosphere fun.
I felt a bit of self-loathing for no reason, wondering if I was the only one who couldn't adapt.
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"......Hmm."
Soi has been a bit cautious about how she treats Lua lately.
Just a few years ago, she used to keep Lua right by her side and hug her tightly all the time.
But Lua, now a middle schooler, seems to lack energy somewhere.
No, actually, it seemed like there were signs of it even before that. I only realized it after thinking back on it later, but as Lua got closer to middle school, she became quieter and spoke less.
Perhaps that incident in the 4th grade remained a trauma for Lua.
.......
Lua still receives counseling these days.
Soi often tagged along, too. Just like now.
Of course, the content of the counseling is between the doctor and Lua, so Soi can't hear any of it.
Since it's called a trauma, it's not something she can ask about lightly.
"......Hnnng."
"......Why?"
When Soi made that nasal sound again, a slightly sharp voice was heard.
When she turned her head, she saw pink hair that stood out even if she didn't want to focus on it.
It was Soi and Chaeyi, sitting on the waiting chairs on either side of the clinic door.
"No, just because."
Rationally speaking, that's not Chaeyi's fault.
It's the criminal's fault.
If there hadn't been a Villain there, there would have been no reason for any problems to arise while talking to Chaeyi in the first place.
Even back then, she never really thought it was Chaeyi's fault.
"......Can't I come with you?"
A voice that was a bit lacking in confidence, slightly drained. But Chaeyi never backed down a single word when talking to Soi.
Did she say they were friends from when they were very, very young?
If it was kindergarten, even Soi barely remembers it. She's been with Lua ever since then, and in terms of how long they've actually known each other, Soi has known Lua much longer than Chaeyi has.
So, there's no way the relationship between Lua and Soi would fade because of Chaeyi's existence.
It hadn't, but.......
Why is that?
Lately, Lua seemed to find talking to Soi very awkward. Even just last year, she used to stutter but would still initiate conversations, but now, about a month into middle school, she doesn't open her mouth unless Soi speaks first, especially at school. It seems to be getting better at home, at least.
And one of the few people Lua talks to at school is Chaeyi.
If they run into each other in the hallway, Lua sometimes greets her first. Smiling a little shyly and waving her hand slightly.
It seems there are a few others besides Chaeyi. One or two friends in the same class who exchange greetings and have short conversations.
But those kids don't talk to Soi. Even if Soi tries to talk to them first to get friendly, they freak out and slowly avoid her, or break into a cold sweat.
Soi didn't have any particular aversion to making friends, so she just thought it would be nice if those kids became friends too.
But Lua doesn't initiate conversations with Soi's friends.
"......Can't I come with you?"
"......No."
When there's no answer, Chaeyi asks again. In a somewhat timid and small voice.
In a tone that somehow sounds like she's heard it somewhere before—
"Ah!?"
Soi shouted, jumping up from her seat.
"Hm?"
Chaeyi's eyes go wide at the sudden reaction.
"You, that tone."
"Uh, uh?"
"That tone, are you imitating Lua's tone?"
That's right. It was a tone she couldn't possibly be unfamiliar with, as she heard it every day right next to her.
The only difference was that Lua is genuinely timid and swallows all her words, whereas this Chaeyi kid pretends to be timid but doesn't back down a single word!
"......."
Chaeyi's mouth opens slightly.
And soon her face turns bright red.
"N-no, it's not?"
Soi, who felt like she had uncovered some secret, was convinced by that answer. This was also some kind of scheme of Chaeyi's.
It's cheap.
For some reason, she felt like she was being tricked or losing.
She's someone she's known for so long, and now they're sisters sharing a room. It's frustrating that Chaeyi figured out what kind of tone makes her initiate conversation first.
She felt like she had lost because, even knowing the method, it was a problem in a realm that Soi herself could never imitate.
Even though the other person hadn't really tricked her or challenged her to a contest.
What is this? Why do I feel so bad?
Soi blinked, surprised belatedly by a feeling she had never felt in her life.
"......."
Even though she wanted to argue about something, she sat back down because it wasn't really a matter worth arguing about.
Chaeyi, perhaps feeling embarrassed, didn't press the issue further either.
The hallway becomes quiet again. Is Lua the only patient today?
Lua, who has been with her since childhood.
Lua, who went everywhere Soi wanted to go, and did everything Soi wanted to do together.
Even when she threw unreasonable tantrums that would have sickened others, Lua was the one who eventually did everything with her.
She was even the one who risked her own life in such a situation, saying she would protect her little sister, and stayed behind alone to save her, even though she didn't know how to do anything.
Is she feeling jealous just because such a kid talks a little more naturally to someone else?
"Haa."
She let out a light sigh.
There's so much she wants to do for her. Actually, just looking at her, things she wants to do for her just keep popping up.
But when she actually does them, it turns out it was all just for her own satisfaction.
Even though the time for the counseling to end was quite close, Soi felt that time was moving unusually slowly.
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Phew, okay.
That said, I can't completely give up on making real friends. I can't spend my school days like I did in my past life.
No, at this rate, I might end up having school days even worse than my past life.
In my past life, I at least managed to make a few comfortable friends to spout nonsense with.
No matter how much I try, making Soi's friends 'my friends' seems a bit of a stretch, so let's make a few easygoing kids my acquaintances.
Surely Soi won't object to me increasing my number of friends.
Besides, didn't the doctor say so too?
That it would be good to have someone I can open up to.
Even so, I probably won't be able to open up to them more than I can to Soi, Auntie Yujin, or Uncle Dohyun, but still.
"Ah, hi."
There were kids I talked to briefly at the beginning of the semester.
Isn't there usually that undefined period before the first month passes, where the 'insiders' and 'outsiders' coexist and it hasn't been decided which side you're on yet?
Back then, I happened to have conversations with a few kids where I felt the scent of 'my own kind'.
Obviously not boys. Of course, given my personality, it would be much easier to talk to boys, but having already experienced my past self, I can clearly see what kind of disaster that would bring.
So I gathered my courage and spoke to them—
"Uh, uh?"
The kid turned deathly pale.
So did the friend next to her, who had been laughing and talking just a moment ago.
The duo, with their plain impressions, baggy uniforms, and rather large glasses, were looking at me as if the fact that I had spoken to them was some kind of natural disaster.
"Ah, that......."
"S-sorry."
"Huh?"
The other person slammed an apology at me before I could even say anything.
"Uh, that, if, if we did something wrong."
"Y-yeah. We'll keep quiet."
No.
That.
What the.
"......."
It's unfair.
I really just wanted to say hello.
Of course, it's true that I saw them as easy targets to talk to.
But it's not like I was trying to threaten them or anything.
And yet.
"......No, I was just saying hi."
"Uh, uh."
"Bye."
I had no choice but to turn around because I felt awkward with the two of them, who were slightly relieved by my words but still shooting me wary, terrified looks.
And I made eye contact with Soi.
Blink, blink.
Receiving Soi's gaze, looking at me with slightly bewildered eyes, I returned to my seat.
And I stared blankly at the ceiling.
No, I mean.
I thought that by the time I got to the Academy, I'd be mixed in with all sorts of friends and become incredibly popular.
At this rate, who on earth am I supposed to talk to and how?
It's hopeless.
It's not like, 'my life is ruined' level, but mentally, it's hopeless!
If I'm this much of a coward, what about my popularity!? What about a friend who will cover for me later if I do something embarrassing!?
Don't tell me I'm really not going to be able to make any friends?