The Dungeon of Trials (4)
"..."
Why did a lingering pang of regret wash over me?
It had been such a golden, perfectly legitimate opportunity to get hurt...
Haah...
The moment I had deliberately twisted my body downward to take the brunt of the fall, Evan, realizing we were plummeting, grabbed hold of me and forcefully flipped our positions in midair. I had no idea how he managed it, but he locked me in such an unyielding vice grip that I couldn't twist back, hurtling toward what should have been our deaths—
Or so I had anticipated. In reality, the bottom was a deep, subterranean pool. Naturally, aside from a few cracked ribs, Evan had suffered no grave injuries.
And I, of course, was completely unharmed.
This isn't the picture I had in mind at all...
Whenever you fell into a trap in the game, you normally just spawned directly onto the lower floor, so I hadn't the faintest idea what lay at the bottom of this pit. Well, now I knew. More important than the pool, however, was what Evan had just done.
"Are you hurt anywhere?"
He wore an expression that suggested he hadn't the foggiest clue what he'd done wrong, which only made my blood boil further.
Granted, if someone pressed me on whether my own actions were entirely devoid of selfish desire, I wouldn't have a leg to stand on; I knew full well it wasn't the noblest impulse. But that was because getting hurt didn't bother me in the slightest. Unlike me, he experienced pain as actual agony. Unlike me, who was functionally immortal, hitting the ground would have killed him! What kind of suicidal confidence had possessed him to try shielding me with his own body?
To be perfectly frank, I knew I was unhinged. I could treat my body like disposable trash solely because pain registered as pure ecstasy to me, and because I knew I wouldn't stay dead. If either of those conditions were missing, there was no way in hell I'd ever throw myself in front of danger for someone else. Which was why Evan's stunt struck me with such genuine shock.
"[Brother Evan... why did you shield me?]" I asked, my voice wavering through our mental resonance.
I needed to know what on earth had been running through his head.
"[If we had hit solid ground, you would have died!]"
"And what about you? Do you not die?!"
What in the world was he babbling about...?!
"[Did you not see it yourself, Brother?! I don't die!]"
"It's not that you don't die—you just come back to life!"
"[!]"
He knew?
The sheer intensity of the thought waves vibrating in my skull made me flinch. He had always been such a bumbling, pushover sort of guy... but this was the very first time I had ever seen him flare up with such raw, vehement fury. Caught completely off guard, I froze, unable to formulate a reply.
"If you really didn't die, you wouldn't have been unconscious for an entire week like a corpse!"
"[That was...]
"It was like this when we first met, and it was the same last time... Why do you keep sacrificing yourself?!"
"[...]"
Hmm...
The psychological toll I'd inflicted on him was evidently far heavier than I had realized. What he was laying bare right now was probably the true feelings he had bottled up all this time. And honestly, fair enough. He was the one who had watched me die and blow apart in various gruesome ways, so such a reaction wasn't entirely unwarranted.
Still...
I didn't think I'd shown him that much, though.
Compared to what the poor souls in the Demonic Realm had witnessed, whatever Evan had seen was practically child's play. If we were talking about moments more gruesome than my northern days, it would be when Albert repeatedly slaughtered me with magic... but no one had seen that; I had died completely alone, so that didn't count. The only times Evan had actually seen me sacrifice myself were during the entrance ceremony, and then right after the class assignment exam when I was covered in wounds. And then just now, when I intended to be the cushion beneath him.
Even this time had ended up being a dud, which made his extreme reaction all the more bewildering. It was as if he were on the verge of breaking, looking at me as though he had witnessed every single horror from the Demonic Realm with his own two eyes.
"I don't want to see you hurt or dying, Aria."
"[Evan, please... you know that's—]"
"I know... I know it makes no sense. I know that since you became the Saint, it's something you can't avoid."
Indeed. As long as I bore the title of Saint, I had duties to fulfill. And chief among them was the subjugation of the Demon King.
"[...Just as you say, Brother Evan, one of my sacred duties is to defeat the Demon King. If you die... then this world is finished, is it not?]" I reasoned, pleading with him.
Of course, even if he died, I could just revive him. But when Evan shielded me, it wasn't under the assumption that I could bring him back. In fact, he almost certainly didn't know that resurrecting someone required me to die once in their place. In a situation like that, even for my sake, he should have left taking the impact to me.
It was pure luck that we landed in a deep pool; had it been hard stone, he would have splattered on impact. And had he died, I would have had to endure the agony of death all over again to resurrect him, rendering his sacrifice utterly pointless.
"That's..."
Evan seemed to realize the weight of my words; his face hardened, and his head dipped low.
It was inevitable. There was no other way around it—only my sacrifice could keep things afloat. The world was so cruel that it forced a young girl named Aria into martyrdom—to the point where it almost felt fortunate that I derived pleasure from pain. Evan seemed to interpret my words in that tragic light, his expression crestfallen and miserable.
"I'm sorry... for barking at you so suddenly..."
"[No, not at all. If anything, I am the one who should apologize for causing you such worry...]"
So please, stop trying to shield me.
I already had a mounting list of people who seemed to suffer PTSD just from being around me; if they started developing mental trauma from guilt on top of it, my life was going to get a whole lot harder. And above all else...
"[Even just now... had you cushioned my fall, Brother Evan, your death would have forced me to brace myself for my own demise just to bring you back...]"
"..."
Realizing that his noble sacrifice would have amounted to nothing more than digging his own grave, Evan's face curdled into pure mortification.
"I... see..."
Well, having this conversation was bound to happen sooner or later, so clearing the air wasn't the worst thing.
"[Um... I believe we should dry our clothes first...]"
After all, we had gotten thoroughly soaked from our plunge into the water. Evan's clothes were drenched and clinging tightly to his skin, leaving very little to the imagination.
Academy uniforms... turn surprisingly see-through when wet...
Damn, this bastard was in good shape. Looking at another guy's physique while stuck in a girl's body felt a bit bizarre, but even taking a step back from a guy's perspective, he genuinely had an impressive build. Looking at it as an ex-guy made it feel mildly disgusting in a primal bro way, but setting that aside, it was an impeccably toned, well-balanced physique.
Regardless...
Staying like this would only make things awkward for both of us.
"R-Right! Let's get our clothes dried fir—ugh..."
Oh, right. He'd broken his ribs during the fall. And not just his ribs; there was no ruling out fractures in other parts of his body either. I hurriedly moved closer to Evan and cast Heal.
"[Ngh...!]"
Ah, it had been a while since I'd felt the crisp crunch of breaking bones... Perhaps my tolerance had skyrocketed after dying in so many horrific, agonizing ways and finding bliss in it all, but the sharp pain of broken ribs felt like nothing more than an everyday, casual delight. Which was honestly a bit of a letdown...
I couldn't help smacking my lips internally.
Whoa... get a grip. That's a bad habit.
Catching myself feeling disappointed even in a situation like this proved just how far gone I truly was. Meanwhile, hearing my slight whimper, Evan turned back to look at me with fresh concern etched across his features.
"I'm fine with just this much..."
"[No, Brother. Considering the trials ahead, it is far wiser to treat it now. One never knows what might happen if you let your guard down due to the pain.]"
Where do you think you're running off to? Not a chance. I knew firsthand how deceptively agonizing cracked ribs were whenever you moved. I'd been battered and bruised in this body more than enough times to know.
"..."
Heh.
In the end, you have no choice but to sit there obediently and take my healing without a word of protest. Consider this payback for snapping at me earlier. Until now, I had tried my best not to poke at anyone's conscience, but not today. Listen to my muffled whimpers as I absorb the agony of your broken ribs, and let that guilt gnaw at your soul!
Take that! And that!
"Uh... Aria..."
"[Yes?]"
"Th-That is... I-I'm sorry!"
Unable to finish his sentence, Evan abruptly whipped his head around. I tilted my head in confusion, wondering what had gotten into him, before the realization hit me. In the chaos, I had completely forgotten that I, too, had been submerged in water, and my clothes were soaked to the bone. This cavern wasn't completely devoid of light, which meant the dim glow filtering through made everything...
"..."
Oh boy.
The moment the healing finished, I immediately spun around.
"[...I apologize.]"
Sorry you had to lay eyes on such a pathetic, meager rack.
If it had been Stella, you would've happily thanked the heavens and savored every second of it...
Aah...
How on earth did my life end up like this?
Haah...