Chapter 90: Memory
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 90: Memory
“When did I ever say that!”
Startled, I snapped at him.
“You did! You told me to think lewd thoughts!”
“No! I didn’t! I never said anything like that!”
It was 6 p.m., a time when plenty of students from our university were still milling about.
Terrified that someone might have overheard, I quickly scanned our surroundings.
Thankfully, the passersby didn’t seem to be paying us any mind.
“...Really?”
His clouded eyes stared down at me.
“Yes. Really.”
I thought it was such a random thing to say that I almost asked if he was confusing me with someone else.
“So you’re saying I really shouldn’t?”
Ugh. Why is he being like this with me?
My face crumpling, I gave up trying to argue and just grabbed his arm, dragging him forward.
A large dog.
It honestly felt like I was dragging a giant puppy up a hill.
“Hey. Kim Doah. I can walk just fine! See? I can walk.”
I could hear him muttering incoherently behind me, but I ignored him completely, as if I’d hit a block button.
The walk home felt especially long today.
“We’re here. Go on in.”
Having succeeded in dragging him to the front of his apartment, I wiped my damp forehead with my sleeve.
The fact that I was sweating, even in winter, must have meant it was a real struggle.
“...What about you?”
He asked, holding the doorknob after punching in the code and opening the door.
“I have to go stream now. I even had a little to drink to get ready for it.”
“...I don’t want you to.”
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me forcefully toward him.
Maybe it was because he was drunk, but his strength far exceeded my expectations, and I landed right inside his apartment.
Behind me, I heard the click of the lock.
“...Oppa. I really have to go.”
I wasn’t joking. It was true.
It wasn’t that I had absolutely no time, but I wanted to wash up and stream in comfortable clothes if possible.
“I know you have time.”
“I only have two hours left.”
“That’s two whole hours.”
Sighing at his childish whining, I concluded it would be faster to put him to bed and leave than to argue with him here.
“Fine. Just 30 minutes.”
“One hour.”
“Thirty minutes. I’m not taking any counteroffers.”
When I spoke firmly, as if to say ‘not a chance,’ he took off his shoes and walked inside.
After turning on a lamp, Oppa started flinging his clothes onto a chair one by one.
His scarf must have been bothering him, because he was in a hurry to get his clothes off, not even caring that it fell to the floor.
Left in just his slacks and shirt, he sat on the bed, took off his socks, and then pulled me, still standing there, toward him.
“Doah.”
His hands clasped my wrists.
Then, I felt the texture of his hair.
He bowed his head before me in a pose like a sinner begging for salvation. It seemed he was finally starting to self-diagnose.
“I think I’m drunk.”
“You’re just figuring that out now?”
It was so absurd I had to laugh.
How could it be that everyone in the world knew he was drunk except for him?
“Well, at least you know now. Come on. Lie down quickly.”
If I had my way, I would have told him to change into comfortable clothes before sleeping.
But I couldn’t guarantee what kind of disaster might unfold in the process, so I just pulled the blanket back.
“Come here.”
Oppa clumsily sat up and moved toward the inside of the bed.
Thankfully, it seemed his drunken antics were coming to a peaceful end. Or so I thought.
“...What are you doing?”
Lying pressed right up against the wall, he stared blankly at me.
“...Huh?”
“Why aren’t you getting in?”
The way he questioned me, as if I were failing to do the obvious, was enough to make me wonder for a second if I was the one in the wrong.
“No, no. Why would I get in there?”
Coming to my senses, I retorted in a tone of disbelief.
I was just going to see you off to sleep and leave! That was the plan!
“Because...”
Seeing that I had no intention of getting in, Oppa got on his knees and crawled across the bed toward me.
“You said you wanted it.”
It was a truly devastating smile.
A smile with a different texture from the ones he usually gave me.
It was a smile that stirred a person’s lust, one that could only be described as somehow lewd.
My instincts screamed danger, and I took a step back, but he moved a step closer as if to say there was no escape.
“...Oppa. You’re only saying this because you’re drunk. Just hurry up and go back to sleep, and when you wake up tomorrow morning—”
“No.”
He cut me off, correcting my words.
“This is just...”
A grin spread across my boyfriend’s lips.
“...because I want to be with you.”
...That’s unfair.
You never say things like that normally.
You’re always just cackling while watching Luka clips.
I was well aware that Oppa was inexperienced when it came to expressing affection.
He’d told me himself that this was his first relationship.
So even when he didn’t say those so-called cheesy things, I endured it.
Even when I sometimes wondered if I was truly loved, I endured it.
But now, consumed by alcohol, he was whispering sweet nothings to me with such clear pronunciation.
“Doah.”
I could no longer refuse his low whisper.
It’s hard for me to hold back, too.
He wasn’t the only one who had been drinking.
Deciding I didn’t care anymore, I let the tension leave my body, and his hands naturally came up to cup my cheeks.
“I love you.”
His face drew closer and closer.
What was about to happen was uncharted territory, something I had never experienced.
As I slowly closed my eyes, I felt the touch of his warm, soft lips.
Perhaps because it was winter, they felt a little chapped, but that was only for a moment.
His tongue swept across my lips.
My eyes flew open at the foreign sensation, but as if telling me not to be surprised, he pulled the nape of my neck even more firmly toward him.
His tongue slipped between my closed lips.
It was aggressive and hot.
I don’t know where I’m supposed to breathe.
Unable to do anything else, I wrapped my arms around his neck, just as he was holding me.
Our tongues intertwined.
My lips, as if they’d never been dry, were now slick with saliva, glistening. When we finally pulled apart, the only sound was his ragged breathing.
“Hah... hah...”
My first kiss.
When I was younger, I had imagined what my first kiss would be like.
I thought it would be a fresh, innocent kiss in some incredibly romantic place.
As expected, reality was different from fantasy.
But that didn’t mean I disliked it or found the sensation unpleasant.
It was just much, much hotter than I had imagined.
“...Is this really your first time?”
Ironically, the first words to escape my lips were not a comment, but a suspicion.
Honestly, it was hard not to be suspicious.
Because from my perspective... to me, he seemed far too skilled.
How could he move his tongue like... like that...
I didn’t even know how to describe it.
“Yeah. It’s my first.”
His breathy answer was so incredibly sexy that I wanted to feel that sensation from a moment ago one more time.
“Then why are you so good at it?”
“Because I’m an expert in theory.”
A small laugh escaped me.
“Just how much have you watched? Seriously.”
“A lot. Probably way more than you think.”
“In 2D?”
I asked playfully, and instead of answering, Oppa devoured my lips once more.
If before I had been passively receiving his advances, this time was different.
I wanted to take the lead a little, too.
I tried nibbling his lower lip and playfully darting my tongue in and out of his mouth.
“Ugh!”
My greedy boyfriend’s tongue seemed desperate to get inside my mouth, but when I denied him, he made a strange noise with a sulky face.
Unable to ask for what he wanted in words, he sent intense signals with his eyes.
This is nice.
I’m happy.
Just as I was thinking how wonderful it felt to confirm our feelings for each other, to feel that connection, a wave of sadness washed over me.
Because my completely drunk Oppa had a habit of forgetting things.
It was the same with the hickey last time.
He had tormented me so intensely that he’d left a mark on my body.
But the memory of him waking up the next morning and saying he didn’t remember was, even now, unbearably cruel.
I gently pushed his shoulders back.
The sudden thought that all of this would once again become a memory for me alone made it impossible to continue what we were doing.
“...Why?”
My boyfriend asked, questioning my actions.
With no intention of hiding my feelings, I told him the truth.
“Because I don’t think you’ll remember any of this, Oppa.”
Because it feels like this feeling, this whole moment, will be treated as just an accident.
But his next words were more than enough to make my heart tremble.
“...No.”
My face was reflected in his dark eyes.
“What happened today...”
His finger gently wiped away the saliva lingering at the corner of my mouth.
“I’ll remember it, no matter what.”
And once again.
His lips pressed down on mine.