Chapter 55: I Want to Know.
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 55: I Want to Know.
Why do I always just run away like this?
I run when I'm scared.
I run when I'm embarrassed.
Even though I knew that running away never led to the best outcome, I did it again today. I turned my back on Oppa and fled.
A storm of emotions, too complex to be summed up in a single word, raged within me.
Joy. Relief. Betrayal. Gratitude.
It was definitely a net positive, but this indefinable feeling controlled me right up until the moment I started my stream.
To think that Oppa was a fan of Luka...
I had sometimes imagined that one of my acquaintances might be in the Pink Army, but I never, ever imagined it would be him.
Wow. But if he's been watching for that long, that means he was watching my stream when I confessed to him, right?
The memory of that nightmarish day replayed in my head.
I couldn't bring myself to stream that day, so I announced I was taking a break.
The thought that the person who rejected me was one of the many members of the Pink Army was a little absurd.
Isn't this a setup you'd only find in some third-rate romance novel?
Anyway, it seems to be true that Oppa became interested in me after finding out I was Luka...
I still hadn't had enough time to sort out my thoughts, but a stream was a stream, so I quickly booted up my computer.
After checking my mic settings, I tried to stream as I normally would.
I was chatting with my viewers, talking about my day and other trivial things, when...
Haaa...
The request from a viewer who donated 100,000 won was for me to do some aegyo.
I had enough experience that I could usually just mimic it cutely and get it over with, but not today.
...Oppa could be watching.
Of course, since he said he'd been watching for a long time, he's probably seen it countless times, but the moment that thought crossed my mind, I felt all the blood rush to my face.
It's embarrassing enough to make me want to kick my blankets in shame even if a regular acquaintance saw it, but to think my crush is watching this...!
Knowing the camera was tracking my expression, I couldn't take it anymore. I quickly said I was going to get some water and grabbed my phone.
I had to tell him.
Even in the best-case scenario where he wasn't watching and was doing something else, I felt it was better to tell him.
[Turn off the stream.]
I didn't have much time, so I couldn't wait for a reply.
Placing my phone face down again, I took some water from the fridge, poured it into my tumbler, and returned to my monitor.
[Ah. Ah. Okay, I'll try it noww~]
After checking the original video one last time, I let out a deep sigh.
Agh. Who the hell even makes these things?
Every time I did one, I thought it couldn't possibly get any cringier, but it seems human greed truly knows no bounds.
And the Pink Army is more serious about this kind of content than anyone.
[Aiiiing~~]
Half air, half sound.
The aegyo tip I got from Clover unnie seemed helpful, but I still had my doubts.
[Oppang! Luka-tan loooves the Pink Army the mo~st!]
It's just work, Doah.
You're getting paid 100,000 won for mimicking this for less than a minute.
Financial therapy—the only way to overcome the crushing wave of reality.
But the fear that Oppa might be watching seemed to be too much even for the great power of financial therapy.
[Luka-tan~ is so cu... Pfft...! Ah! I'm sorry!]
A flood of boos poured in instantly.
[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]
[Take two?]
[Again ㄱㄱㄱ]
[Guys. This is kinda hard, you know? It's not just a lisp, it's like she has no tongue at all?]
I made a crying face, pretending to be pitiful.
After steadying my breath, I thankfully succeeded on the second try.
[Phew! That was hard! Phew... Do you guys really like this stuff?]
Unlike me, whose head was spinning from the cringe, the Pink Army was celebrating amongst themselves.
[HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT! HIGHLIGHT!]
[This is gonna be a legendary clip, isn't it?]
[Ah~ So good~ Today's stream is so packed with content! Luka-nim!]
Right... As long as you guys are happy, that's all that matters.
I could only pray that Oppa hadn't been watching as I pulled up the rhythm game window.
"Heheheheheh."
A laugh that I could never let another person hear.
Despite Doah's attempt to stop me, I had watched the stream to the very end, and now I was basking in happiness with a satisfied smile.
Just thinking about the aegyo clip spreading everywhere was already hilarious.
It'll spread to the Closer members, of course, and other online communities, right?
Luka's rising popularity is the pride and joy of the Pink Army.
Watching Luka get annoyed but also happy about it was also part of our fun.
-Bzzzzzt
My phone vibrated.
My mind had been completely blank until just before the stream ended.
I had a gut feeling who the notification was from. I swallowed hard and unlocked my phone.
[...Did you watch?]
A sentence with the subject omitted.
But I knew what "it" was without her having to say.
[No.]
This time, I told myself it was a white lie.
How embarrassing would it be for her if I said I saw it?
The message was marked as read, but no reply came for a while.
Just as I was thinking she might have only wanted to ask that one question and not talk for the rest of the night...
[If I asked to meet now, could we?]
[Now?]
It's kind of late, though.
The clock read 11:40 PM.
[Yes.]
[I don't mind, but where would we meet?]
Not only was it late, but a cold wind was howling outside.
[Is it okay if I come over to your place?]
[My place?]
My eyes instinctively scanned the room.
Ever since the day Doah came over, Luka's posters and merch were still stuffed in the closet, but the house itself was a bit of a mess.
[Do you have to come right now?]
I subtly tried to suggest we meet tomorrow instead, but Doah was firm.
[There's something I absolutely have to say right now.]
I still thought it was late, but I was curious about what she wanted to say.
[I'll need some time to clean up. Is that okay?]
[Will it take long?]
[About... 20 minutes?]
[Okay, I'll be there in 20 minutes.]
The messages ended there.
I frantically shoved the clothes scattered around my room into the laundry basket.
I tried to imagine what she wanted to talk about.
Was it about her confession?
Or resentment for what I'd been hiding?
Or something else I couldn't possibly predict?
As I kept cleaning while lost in thought, the 20 minutes vanished in an instant.
-Knock, knock, knock.
Hearing the clear knock, I stood in front of the door and unlocked it.
"...Hello."
A familiar light-blue school jacket.
Doah, wearing a black baseball cap, stepped inside.
"Ah. Yeah. Come in."
Doah neatly took off her ivory-colored Crocs.
She seemed to be looking for a place to sit, so I presented my computer chair to her.
"So, what was it you wanted to say?"
I sat on the edge of my bed, and we faced each other.
I had to lean forward a bit to see her expression, hidden under the brim of her cap.
"...Oppa, do you remember what you said to me before?"
Her tone was calm, yet filled with resolve.
"What did I say?"
"That we should get to know each other slowly."
It was a conclusion I'd carefully reached back then to define our relationship, so there was no way I'd forgotten.
"I remember."
When I nodded in agreement, Doah bit her lip hard.
"Then you must also know that it doesn't make any sense, right?"
That was a little difficult to understand at first.
"...Why?"
"You've watched me on stream a lot, haven't you, Oppa?"
"On my streams, I talk about what I did that day, what food I ate, and sometimes I even talk about my family."
"You've heard all of that by yourself, and now you want to 'get to know me slowly'?"
The rising inflection in her voice was laced with dissatisfaction toward me.
I understood the gist of what she was saying, but it was hard to guess what she actually wanted.
"But I thought you'd feel burdened or flustered if I told you I was your fan."
I tried to explain my side of the story, for what it was worth.
"I'm sorry if it upset you."
"No, it's fine."
...Huh? What does she mean, 'no'?
I had hoped we could move on after my apology, but Doah wasn't finished.
"Because you can just pay me back for it."
"Pay you back? What do you mean by that...?"
"Can you open your browser?"
The moment I understood what she wanted to see, my body froze.
"...Show me."
As Doah rose from the chair, the crumpled heart patterns on her pajama pants straightened out.
Doah's face drew closer.
Before her dark brown eyes, I felt endlessly weak.
"I want to know. What kind of person you are, Oppa."
...I should have just been honest and admitted I watched the stream earlier.
Slowly, I reached for the mouse.