Chapter 53: She Asked.
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 53: She Asked.
My suspicion that Doah was avoiding me turned into certainty when I got to school.
At first, I thought I was just imagining things, but after class, there was no room for doubt.
"Doah!"
Come on. You saw me calling you!
Even though she turned her head and made eye contact with me, Doah just bolted down the stairs.
As I started running after her, I could feel myself getting out of breath.
My body, used to lying around all day watching streams on my phone, wasn't exactly built for running.
Who would have known?
That Han Taemin would end up sprinting across campus, chasing after a girl who was running away.
If someone had told me a year ago that this would be my future, I would have scoffed and called it bullshit.
Seeing Doah make a left turn at the entrance far ahead, I immediately swerved.
I figured it would be faster to go out the side door.
And finally, I was able to talk to her.
"Hey! Why do you keep running away?"
Ugh. I'm out of breath.
Ah. I'm dying.
Just in case she tried to run again, I placed a hand on her shoulder. Doah looked up at me like a terrified mouse.
"Uh... which way did you come from?"
"The side door."
I studied Doah's face carefully.
Her cheeks were bright red, probably from being out of breath too.
But her reaction was like a middle schooler caught secretly playing on the computer.
"Doah."
I placed my other hand on her other shoulder, holding her in place.
"...Yes?"
"Why are you avoiding me?"
"...Oppa."
"Did I do something wrong? Or did I make some kind of mistake?"
The frustration that had been building up inside me came pouring out.
"No. No. It's nothing like that. It's just..."
Doah trailed off.
What is it? Did I screw up so badly that she can't even talk about it...?
It felt like cold sweat, not the sweat from the heat, was about to trickle down my forehead.
The words that came out of those small, cherry-like lips were...
"Th-there are too many people."
...Huh? People?
The scenery, which had been a blur with only Doah in focus, slowly came back into view.
People passing by after class, glancing at us.
Over there, I could see some kids from our major blatantly whispering about us.
My hands, which had been gripping her shoulders, fell back to my sides.
"Ah. Sorry."
Sigh... Han Taemin... what are you doing!
The fact that I had just put Doah in the kind of situation I hate the most was so frustrating.
Ah. This isn't how it was supposed to go.
"Then, would it be okay if we moved somewhere else to talk?"
Doah's dark brown eyes stared at me for a moment before she nodded.
"...Okay."
"I'll wait for you at the front gate, then. Come right away."
I turned my back and walked away quickly.
It wasn't like me.
Not like me at all.
Not that being "like Han Taemin" was anything great or cool, but at the very least, I tried not to cause trouble for others.
Arriving at the front gate, I let out a deep sigh.
"...Oppa."
Someone tugged on my sleeve from behind.
"Yeah."
"You don't have any more classes today, right?"
"Yeah, I don't."
"Then... would it be okay to talk at that park?"
She didn't specify which park, but I had a good idea of where she meant.
There was only one park near our homes.
"Okay."
I walked with her down the same path I had walked while thinking of her.
The autumn leaves were a beautiful, vibrant yellow, but no words passed between us.
Only the sound of crunching leaves filled the silence.
It was an excruciatingly long walk home.
Halfway up the slope from the main road toward our houses, we turned right, and the park entrance came into view.
I couldn't tell if it hadn't been cleaned or if this was the state of it even after cleaning.
The ground was covered in a thick pile of fallen leaves.
"Should we go sit over there?"
Doah nodded silently.
The two of us sat side-by-side on the bench.
Doah was silently staring at the ground, and I was just about to speak first.
"Oppa."
"Yeah?"
"You know..."
Her voice was quite subdued, and my whole body tensed up.
What on earth was she about to say?
"I really hate people who know something but pretend they don't."
"Ah... you do...?"
I already knew that.
You said that during your Bracket Fight stream.
But why now...
"Taemin oppa."
Her face, which had been fixed on the ground, was now looking at me.
Her expression was hard to describe.
She looked scared, but also angry.
But the tone of her voice was perfectly calm.
"...Yeah."
I swallowed hard.
"Don't you have something to tell me?"
My face was reflected in her dark brown eyes.
The thing I had to tell her, the girl who hated people who pretended not to know.
I instinctively knew what it was, and I felt like my limbs were freezing over.
Why?
How does Doah know?
I thought I hadn't left any room for her to figure out I was a Pink Army member.
I might have seemed like a bit of an otaku, but I was so careful to make sure she'd never know I was in the Pink Army...
"...I knew it."
As I bit my lip, unable to answer, Doah's expression slowly crumbled.
"It's okay. I'm..."
"I'm really okay, so just tell me now."
She was saying she was okay, but her eyes were slowly welling up with tears.
"Ahaha. I thought it was a little strange, too."
"I mean, you rejected me so harshly."
"There's no reason for you to be so nice to me."
Doah seemed to find it hard to look at me anymore and tilted her head up slightly.
"I was falling for you all by myself again, like an idiot, without even realizing."
"You must have had a lot of fun, huh? Watching me from the side?"
"Did you want to see what you could do with a girl who streams behind a 2D model?"
"When you just let me go on my birthday without even asking what I was doing, it was because you already knew, wasn't it?"
A mix of truths and untruths poured out in a tear-filled voice.
"Why aren't you answering... hic... sob..."
In the end, Doah couldn't hold back her tears and buried her face in her hands.
"Say something... Han Taemin..."
I was so flustered that I couldn't say a word, but the moment Doah burst into tears...
I realized I had to make her understand in the most efficient way possible.
I reached into my pocket.
Honestly, I still didn't know if this was the right answer.
Maybe there was a gentler, more rational way to explain things.
I unlocked my phone and went to the main page of my idol, the one I always eagerly waited for.
"Doah."
I placed my hand over her fists, which were clenched on her lap.
The back of her hand was damp, probably from her tears.
"You... don't... have to comfort me..."
Her back was trembling just as much as her voice.
"Can't you... just... leave..."
"No. I can't leave yet."
You said it on your stream yesterday.
The important thing is an unbreakable heart.
Having inherited Luka's will, I had no intention of backing down.
I reached out, wiped the tears from Doah's cheek, and slowly turned her head toward me.
Her eyes were red and swollen.
Clear, dew-like tears were still streaming from her eyes.
"Here."
Instead of speaking, I placed my phone in her hands.
"What is this...?"
"Just look."
Wiping her eyes with her sleeve, Doah stared blankly at my phone screen.
"...Huh?"
Her tone was completely different from a moment ago.
Now it was my turn to be nervous.
Ah... I'm so fucking nervous...
I'd given it to her thinking it was the best way, but the moment the phone left my hand, doubt began to eat away at me.
No. I really had no intention of revealing it like this.
I could feel my heart pounding like crazy.
"This."
As if the screen I showed her wasn't enough, Doah seemed to press the back button and then go into the settings.
Her large eyes grew wider and wider.
"Oppa."
The tearfulness was still there, but her voice now had strength.
"Is this your account?"
"...Yeah."
"You didn't borrow it from someone or anything? This is really your account?"
I squeezed my eyes shut and answered.
"If you go into the account info, my name is there."
Ah. Why do I feel so embarrassed I could die?
Even though it was Doah, the thought of showing her my most embarrassing side was driving me crazy.
"Th-then, you really..."
Doah looked up at me, her face full of disbelief.
"You've been my subscriber since before...?"
Ah. Right.
Since it's come to this, I might as well just kill myself.
I voted for you so damn hard before you even debuted in Closer!
I paid 12,900 won every single month, cheering for you to succeed!
The passionate heart that had adored Luka for so long felt like it was going up in flames.
I snatched the phone back from her, zoomed in on the subscriber badge, and shoved it right in her face.
"Does this 12-month Tier 1 subscription badge look like a fucking joke to you?"
Ah. I forgot to say this part.
"Luka-tan?"