Chapter 142: I'm Not Going Home Tonight.
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 142: I'm Not Going Home Tonight.
On days without a scheduled shoot, unless it was the weekend, I had mandatory practice at the company.
“We should just leave Hoyeon like that?”
“Still don’t get it? That this was all his scheme?”
“Ugh… seriously… Why can’t you understand a single word I’m saying!”
I started kicking the leg of the desk in front of me out of frustration, and my acting coach signaled for me to stop.
“Sigh… Taemin…”
At my coach’s deep sigh, I didn’t know where to look.
“Yes…”
“The emotion is good. It is. But what have I always stressed?”
My coach raised an index finger and pointed to his ear.
“The audience needs to hear every word you're saying, clearly.”
“Especially in a scene like this. You're furious, shouting about something, but imagine if the audience can't understand a word. That's an automatic outtake.”
“…Let’s work on your projection again.”
When I got one thing right, something else would fall apart.
If I focused on my diction, I lost the emotion. If I focused on the emotion, my diction became a mess.
“Ugh, I’m going crazy.”
The fact that I knew what was wrong before my coach even had to point it out was driving me insane.
“It’s not easy… acting…”
Maybe he felt bad for me, seeing how hard I was trying without success, because he didn’t press me too hard.
“But you have to get this down one way or another before the shoot.”
Those words—'you have to get this down'—weighed heavily on me.
The pressure of causing reshoots because of my mistakes was immense.
Back in school or the military, when you messed up during group activities, the cost was everyone else's time and effort.
That alone was bad enough, but now there was another factor in the equation: money.
My mistakes were the same as throwing away money that didn't need to be spent.
And every time I thought about it, I was crushed by guilt.
The session would normally end at five, but today I didn't leave until almost eight.
My coach stayed an extra hour to help me, and I stayed behind for another two hours to practice on my own.
“You worked hard today.”
My manager started the car.
“Not at all.”
Since we saw each other every day, I'd gotten to talk with my manager quite a bit.
“I remember you have a lot of lines for the next shoot. Is practice going okay?”
“…I don’t know.”
And what if it's not?
It's not like they can postpone everyone's schedule just for me.
“Still, we all see how hard you're working, so we're staying positive.”
“…Thank you.”
I was staring out the window, chin in hand, when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
It was a notification that Luka's stream had started.
Right… It's already that late…
I opened my messages to find a pile of texts from Doah.
[Why didn't you call!!!]
[Are you busy?]
[I ordered chicken, let's eat together when you get here]
[...You didn't come so I just ate by myself]
[I'm about to start my stream, I'll text you later ㅠ]
My heart felt heavy. I leaned my head back, and my manager, noticing how tired I looked, told me to get some shut-eye.
I managed a short nap before waking up as we arrived.
“Tomorrow's shoot isn't until the afternoon, so try to relax and get some rest tonight.”
“Thank you.”
I gave a slight bow and dragged my feet upstairs.
It's only a few stairs. Why am I so exhausted?
After punching in the code, I kicked off my shoes and buried my face in my bed.
“So… tired…”
What luxury did I think I'd be enjoying to put myself through all this?
I pulled the covers up to my chin, took out my phone, and put on Luka's stream.
[Luka-God~ Thank you for the 10,000 won! With that offering, you've secured your spot in paradise.]
I let out a small laugh as soon as I saw it.
Seriously, what's this concept?
The pink-haired avatar had white wings on her back.
It looked like Luka was going for an angel concept today.
Even the stream title was [Paradise... Care to join me...?]
That sounds like something a drug dealer would say to lure someone in. Is an idol really allowed to say stuff like that, Ms. Kim Doah?
For a moment, I pushed all thoughts of work aside, cleared my head, and became Lucario again.
[If you get your names on this list, you can all go to paradise! This isn't an everyday opportunity! Now, hurry and let me know if you want to add your name to the Luka Sutras!]
Her light pink irises sparkled.
Giving a thumbs-up, Luka was soliciting donations like a home shopping host, a stark contrast to her angelic wings.
[Ah~ yes~ Hanamuramoroyo-nim! I've just issued you an express ticket to heaven! I love you~]
She must have been in a good mood, because she winked and said, "I love you," causing a flood of donations.
[Luka-tan, I want to go too! Please let me go!]
[Excuse me, but could you say 'I love you' just one more time?]
[Is she an angel or Luka ahhhhhh so cuteee]
Then came Luka's signature blush control.
[Everyone... what am I supposed to do if you're all making offerings for that reason... Weren't you hoping it would be used for a good cause...?]
Saying, 'This is a good cause for me,' even more donations poured in.
The chat was exploding, but Doah already seemed to have her hands full just reacting to the donations.
[Alright, alright. Phew... Luka-tan worked hard today. I think I sent about a hundred people to a better place.]
Luka pretended to wipe sweat from her brow, as if exhausted.
Imagining her in the studio, wearing her headset and acting like this, brought a fond smile to my face.
Maybe I should send a dono, too. It's been a while.
Yeah. I'm working my ass off to make money, might as well spend some of it.
I debated how much to send, deciding on an amount that would be easy for her to react to.
My donation message popped up for the giggling Luka.
[Lucario: I love you, Luka-tan!]
Luka's avatar froze for a second.
But no one would have found it strange.
Comments like 'I love you' or 'Marry me' were a dime a dozen in donations.
[Ah~ Lucario-nim~ Thank you for the 50,000 won donation~ I love you too~ I love you~]
Luka replied with a bright laugh, her voice full of energy.
It was rare for her to say 'I love you' back to a message like that, so the Pink Army immediately flooded the chat with angry emotes.
[Wanna die?]
[An emote of someone holding a knife]
[Luka-tan, why not me...!]
All my pent-up stress melted away.
This is what I call healing! Ah, the life of a shut-in is the best!
The thought of not wanting to go to work tomorrow made this moment of pleasure feel all the sweeter.
Luka streamed until midnight. Thankfully, I didn't have to get up early.
Five minutes after the 'Stream has ended' message appeared, I got a call from Doah.
[Hello.]
[...Oppa.]
[Yeah.]
Is she going to scold me for the dono again...?
Ah, whatever. I just felt like donating today.
It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
I waited for her response, my heart pounding a little.
[Do you have to leave early tomorrow, too?]
[No, I don't have to go in until around three tomorrow.]
[Then I'm sleeping over at your place.]
[Ah.]
I had no intention of saying no, but for some reason, she hung up.
I thought about calling her back, but since she was coming over anyway, there didn't seem to be a point.
About ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door.
The moment I opened the door, before she even took off her shoes, Doah threw her arms around me.
“…Doah?”
I was a little taken aback and called her name, but she didn't answer, just nuzzling her face against my shirt.
“…Han Taemin.”
Instead of 'Oppa,' my full name left her lips.
“I missed you.”
Her words were short and simple.
I raised my hand and stroked her hair.
“Me too.”
We stayed like that for about thirty seconds before Doah finally took off her shoes and came inside.
She took off her puffer jacket and, as if she didn't need my permission, crawled right under my covers.
Doah patted the spot next to her.
Anyone would think you owned the place.
Instead of saying anything, I chose to lie down beside her, gently caressing her soft cheek.
“Oppa. You're unbelievable, you know that?”
“What is?”
Is she upset that I didn't text back?
“You barely ever say 'I love you' to me, but you'll just throw it out there in a dono? Huh? Well?”
So that's what this is about.
“Well… those words are…”
I've always thought that the more you say 'I love you,' the less it means. And on a simpler level, it's just embarrassing.
“Sorry.”
I gave an awkward laugh, and she responded with a quick peck on the lips.
“Say it to my face.”
“Now?”
“Yes. Now.”
Now that she's put me on the spot, I'm even more tongue-tied.
As I hesitated, Doah wrapped her arms around my neck.
“Oppa. Can't you see the state I'm in?”
Doah's face drew closer.
“It's not enough. It's nowhere near enough. It's so hard being apart after we were always together, and it's frustrating that I can't even talk to you when I miss you so much.”
“…I see.”
The only thing I could do for Doah, who had just bared her heart to me, was…
…give her a deep, lingering kiss, different from the peck she'd given me moments before.
I kissed her intensely, leaving her lips glistening, and whispered to her with ragged breath.
“I love you, Doah.”
“I love you too.”
Another deep kiss followed.
Her face was flushed red.
Her breathing, slightly ragged.
“I'm not going home tonight.”
I had no intention of letting her go.