Chapter 11: Why Are You Being So Nice.
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 11: Why Are You Being So Nice.
“Ugh… seriously…”
I pressed a hand to my forehead, a wave of gloom washing over me.
Today’s stream title for Luka was:
[Third Audition Review / Short Chill Session]
On the screen, Luka's avatar was beaming, looking overjoyed.
Her cheeks would flush as she made a coy face, and at times, stars sparkled in her eyes.
But I couldn't hear a word she was saying.
No one had forced earplugs into my ears. It was all my own doing—the mute button I’d pressed myself, fighting back tears.
I wanted to join the viewers, type in the chat, and congratulate Luka, but the shackles of my real life were just too heavy.
This was the price I had to pay for my own decision.
[Taemin. Are you sure you'll be okay?]
[Yeah. I said I'll do it.]
[It's only two days. It's going to be tough since you're basically starting from scratch.]
[Doesn't matter.]
[Why are you going this far?]
Junseok stared at me, unable to understand.
[...I'm just doing it because I might be busy someday too.]
I figured I could burn myself out for a couple of days if it meant Luka could stream and prepare for her audition without any trouble.
Of course, I was preparing the materials with the mindset of, Her stream comes first! Is this group project really that important right now? But still…
Hah… I really wanted to watch the stream.
It felt like everyone was toasting and enjoying a festival while I was the only one stuck in my room working.
Still, the title said it would be a short stream, so I rationalized that I could take a five-minute break and held down the volume button.
[Manager~~~~]
Her voice sounded like she had a headache.
Luka's voice itself was cute, but her words were not.
[Ban everyone calling me 'Fuckdol' right now~~]
Fuckdol?
It didn't take long to figure out where that came from.
[You're amazing, Fuckdol! You're the best, Fuckdol!]
[Fuckdol must debut! Fuckdol must debut! Fuckdol must debut! Fuckdol must debut! Fuckdol must debut! Fuckdol must debut!]
[Luka-tan calling for the manager is so cuteee!]
[Fuckdol debut, let's goooo~~~]
[No! Guys! I'm on the verge of becoming a real idol, what am I supposed to do if you keep calling me Fuckdol!]
Luka's avatar shook its head vigorously.
[Seriously… that day, it wasn't that I was just swearing, but…]
She tried to explain, but the chat wasn't listening.
[Oh. Fuck. Oh. Fuck. Oh. Fuck. Oh. Fuck. Oh. Fuck. Oh. Fuck. Oh. Fuck. Oh. Fuck. Oh. Fuck. Oh. Fuck.]
[Yep~ that's right~ you're Fuckdol~]
[Are you embarrassed that you swore, Luka-tan?]
Ugh… these trolls…
Once I understood the situation, I found it hard to hold back my laughter.
Fuckdol, huh.
Even if she passed the final round and actually started promoting, would she ever be able to shake this tag?
“Fuckdol Luka.”
It had a nice ring to it. Quieting them down was going to be a tough fight.
Eventually, Luka decided to settle things with her viewers.
[Alright, guys. I'll admit it. 'Fuckdol.' It's not some random nonsense that came out of nowhere; I'm the one who said it.]
[But I don't think it's right to have the chat spammed with profanity like this.]
[It doesn't look good, and what if people from other streams drop by and see it? If the whole chat is always filled with swear words.]
[Why don't we change it up a bit, or use the initials… no, wait. That would be even worse.]
As soon as she mentioned initials, the chat was flooded with all sorts of consonants containing ㅅㅂ (SB).
[Stop, stop! Ugh… seriously… you all… saying so many bad words…]
[Alright, then! From now on, please come up with the best nickname using the initials ㅅㅂㄷ (SBD)!]
[If there's a good one, let's go with that. 'Fuckdol' is a no-go! No more!]
Aah… I need to finish this quickly and send it to Junseok…
I'd had Luka's stream on for ten minutes already, but I couldn't bring myself to mute it.
I mean, I was too curious.
I always feel this way, but the viewers' meme game was on another level.
I don't think there are many people around me who are this funny. Where are all these cyber ghosts hiding? Are they all reclusive masters or something?
[Fleshdol. Isn't that too random?]
[frenchdol? What's that? Am I supposed to be cooked in hot water?]
Luka's avatar let out a snort, as if in disbelief.
[Oh. This one's good.]
Among the words pouring out one after another, the nickname Luka chose for herself was…
[Bang, bang, bang! I'll go with this one!]
Despite the boos pouring from the chat, Luka stubbornly pushed for the candidate she had chosen.
[Alright~ everyone, from now on, I'd appreciate it if you called me philosopherdol instead of Fuckdol~ Hawawa~]
Just as expected, the chat was instantly flooded with messages saying she was doomed.
After watching Luka and her viewers bicker again, I finally pressed the home button.
“Right…”
You seem to be doing well, Luka-tan.
It's because I'm stuck here with this that Luka and her viewers can have fun like that.
Fixing my gaze back on the monitor, I let out a deep sigh.
“…Ah. I really don't want to do this.”
Not that I was enjoying doing the research, of course.
“Hoo…”
After pressing the 'End Stream' button, I let out a short sigh.
I’d expected this ever since the word ‘Fuckdol’ was immortalized in a YouTube clip, but I didn't think it would be spammed this much.
I thought ‘Fuckdol’ was a bit too much for a cute girl character.
But before blaming the viewers, the real problem was that I had sworn in the first place.
I knew full well it was a live broadcast, but what could I do? I was just too shocked.
I’d always told myself to swear less, but the situation was what it was.
I’d caught the very last bus, so how could I not be shocked?
I had thought it was all over and resigned myself to failure, so the life jacket thrown to me was enough to paralyze my thoughts.
I opened my phone to check my messenger and saw the group chat, which was flooded with messages.
The group project…
The lingering joy of passing the emotional audition was brief.
The messages piled up in the group project chat weighed heavily on my mind.
It was no lie that I was busy.
Even now, after this short break, I had to immediately start filling out the documents the company had requested.
The things I had to submit to become a finalist for the virtual idol group, Project CLOSER, were surprisingly personal.
My school records from middle and high school.
The URLs of all social media accounts under my name.
I had no choice but to accept their explanation that these were documents all company trainees had to submit.
It was a major corporation, after all.
Their explanation that they couldn't accept any candidate who might have been involved in school violence or other delinquent behavior was reasonable.
Deciding to finish this later, I first scrolled all the way down the chat.
[Junseok. Take a look at this.]
[This was on a public broadcast program recently, how about we base our project on something similar?]
[There's an article about it here, I'll send the link too.]
Taemin oppa…
Taemin oppa was constantly sending materials and asking for confirmation, like a man whose feet were on fire.
He even sent more materials before Junseok oppa had a chance to check them, and seeing him like this, I couldn't help but feel twice as sorry.
The oppa who said he would do my share of the work was truly working harder on the group project than anyone else.
But at the same time, it was a little strange.
Just as Junseok oppa had said on the day of class, Taemin oppa had no ‘justification.’
There was no reason for Taemin oppa to accommodate my situation.
If I had to rack my brain for a reason, was it because he felt sorry for dumping me in the past…?
I knew, at least, that it wasn't for a convenient reason like him having feelings for me.
After being rejected so harshly, it would be foolish to think, Maybe he…?
But that didn't mean I wasn't grateful or anything…
I opened my private chat with Taemin oppa, a chat I had sworn never to open again.
Our conversation had ended with his [kk].
The memory of that time resurfaced for no reason, and I couldn't hide my bitterness.
This is how I got rejected that day.
I closed my eyes for a moment to steady my breathing, then slowly moved my fingers and started typing.
[Oppa. You're working so hard because of me ㅠㅠ I'll really participate fully starting next week, so…]
I also sent a gift card for a small cake and coffee.
It wasn't much, but just as I was thinking it was enough to show my sincerity…
The yellow '1' disappeared the moment I sent it.
It was a sign that Taemin oppa had read my message.
I thought a reply would come right away and held my phone tightly with both hands, but no reply came for a while.
I wished something, anything, would come quickly, even if it was criticism.
It’s better to get the beating over with.
I thought I'd had more than enough of this kind of waiting during the audition.
[Did you take care of your urgent business?]
…Why the hell are you being so nice? Seriously.