Chapter 53
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 53
Chapter Title: Summer Vacation Special Camp (7)
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“Wha-what?! Who, who are you?! How did you get up here…!”
Klang!
The trophy I'd brought along on the way up turned out to be a fantastic conversation starter. The middle-aged yakuza, still clueless about the situation and sitting there in his chair, flipped his eyes back into his head and slumped down again after I smashed my shiny trophy right into his bald pate.
He looked like he held a pretty decent rank in this outfit. Having a guy like that sprawled out here would definitely send a chill down their spines, right? All I had to do now was smack the boss around with the trophy a bit, threaten him not to mess around anymore, and that'd wrap things up.
But who was the boss around here, anyway?
I'd beaten down every visible punk on the way up, but I still had no idea who the top dog was. They'd said they'd renovated a motel, but all the rooms looked pretty much the same, so it was hard to tell them apart.
“Ah, I should've asked where the big boss was.”
Should I just smash everything in sight on my way up?
Tsking in disappointment, I turned my head and locked eyes with another yakuza who was cowering on the floor. The moment our gazes met, he rolled his eyes upward like a puppy and whimpered in a tiny voice.
“P-please... spare me.”
“Where's your boss?”
“...Up, upstairs. Fifth floor.”
Klang!
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Gratitude is gratitude, but I still had to knock him out before I left. These were yakuza, after all. I knew the drill from the movies. If you let punks like that go, they'd come back whimpering with a dagger, stab you right in the vitals, and bolt.
I had zero interest in starring in one of those tragic revenge flicks.
“Gaaah!”
“Gwaaaah!”
Noise was drifting up from below. Unlike me, who'd cleverly headed straight upstairs, Carmen seemed to be taking it floor by floor via the stairs. Was stomping up the stairs like they were mere metal plates not an option?
I tilted my head, then hopped up onto the desk of the unconscious yakuza. I did a few quick jumping jacks to gauge the height.
“One, two... three.”
Bam!
“Gaaah! What the—?! Who are you?!”
I'd used my head.
******
“No need to ask after all.”
After causing a bit of a ruckus floor by floor on the upper levels, I'd made it to the boss's room. Guess I didn't need to bother asking that crawling yakuza from earlier. The door was clearly labeled [Boss's Room].
It felt just like arriving at the boss room in an RPG.
That said, [Boss's Room]? This outfit's leader must have some serious ego issues.
“Anyone hooome~?”
I gave a light knock to check for signs of life. In one hand, I held the trophy, now bent into a long rod after a few swings. Just in case I hit too hard and hurt someone, I gave it a few practice swings in the air to get the feel, then knocked again.
“Anyone in there?”
“Who is it?”
A reply came from inside. Surprisingly, it was a young woman's voice. Like a second-gen boss who'd inherited the organization? She didn't sound that old, but here she was, diving into organized crime at such a tender age.
Security in this neighborhood was a real joke.
“Uh... delivery for ya.”
“Delivery?”
A puzzled voice passed by, followed by a friendly one.
“Mind standing in front of the door for a sec?”
Why stand in front of the door? Did she have x-ray vision or something? That'd be a problem.
“Sure.”
I replied and started to sidestep toward the door.
But the instant I answered, a sudden heat bloomed from beyond the door, and a scorching beam of light roared past my head with a deafening blast.
Kabooom!
A sweltering heat, like standing too close to a bonfire, lingered near my scalp, and the door was shattered. I glanced back to see two gaping holes punched about a head taller than me, still smoking and sizzling. Whatever she'd fired, it had left a trail of hot wind in its wake.
What the heck? What just happened? Whoa, did I almost die?
“Huh, what. How'd you dodge that?”
A flat voice came from the other side. Peeking through the splintered door on tiptoes, I looked up to see a woman in a suit standing there. A black-haired woman in shades and a black suit, perched casually on the boss's desk. She tilted her head, eyeing the hole where I'd poked my head, then suddenly whipped off her sunglasses.
“Eek!”
Kabooom!
I instinctively rolled aside, and my reflexes were spot on. Light flashed right where I'd been standing, blasting another hole with searing heat. The straight shot pierced clean through to the floor below—at least, from the corner of my eye, I could see it had. An unlucky yakuza passing by down there had taken a direct hit, his head vaporized.
Hmm.
No matter how tough I am, that would've killed me.
But as if it were no big deal, a nonchalant voice drifted from beyond the door.
“Dodging that one too? You're a pro, huh? Ah, well, then I really don't wanna fight. You don't seem like one of the organization's goons. What's your business here? I won't attack, promise. Let's just talk it out.”
No way in hell was I falling for “come closer, I won't hit you.” Only country bumpkin dogs would buy that. Not an elite villain like me, who knew better.
“And you?”
“Oh, me? I just came here for my own investigation. Saw the state of things and figured the organization's on its last legs. They've pissed off a lot of places. So I was about to head out. You?”
She didn't seem like the boss. Makes sense—if the boss could shoot laser beams from her eyes, the grunts would've called for the boss instead of fighting themselves. Feigning cool detachment, I replied in a calm tone.
“I had business with your boss here. Where is he?”
“Right here on the floor.”
“Huh, really?”
I poked my head around the wall. The sunglassed woman blinked at the sight, then flicked her hand up toward her shades.
Gonna fire another beam?
Tricking me like that? Sneaky!
“Whoaah!”
I yelped and leaped sideways, rolling for cover, and laughter burst from the room.
“Hahahahahaha!”
She was messing with me?
No.
She could've been lulling me into lowering my guard so I'd pop out, then punch two holes in my chest. Staying low and flat on the floor, I inched forward and called out softly.
“Wh-where's the boss?”
The woman giggled at my words, sighed, and answered.
“He's lying on the floor. Oh, can't see from there? Hold on a sec.”
Something dragged across the floor with a wet scrape, then the remaining door panels shattered as a burly, heavyset guy tumbled out.
“Eek!”
A big, fat man rolled across the floor with his eyes closed. Two massive holes gaped in his chest, and his bloodless face looked like a wax corpse. The woman in the room spoke up.
“Ah, if your business was a deal or talk, sorry about that? He got mad when I said I was taking what I needed from the safe. It's not like I'm taking from some innocent—it's a criminal's pocket. No idea why he had to be so picky.”
Whatever happened, it looked like she'd handled our job for us.
While she was at it, couldn't she zap all the yakuza downstairs with her beams too?
Anyway, the boss was dead, and the key fighters had all been taken out by her hand. The organization's basically wiped out. I didn't do the deed myself, but doesn't this count as mission accomplished?
I could just head down, tell Carmen the mission was done, and call it a day. I called out to the woman in the room.
“Nah, we came here 'cause we didn't like this boss either. This works out perfect. No more business for us. We'll be heading out.”
“It's been ages since I met someone reasonable. Let's not run into each other elsewhere. Wouldn't want good folks like us fighting, right?”
Couldn't agree more.
I had no desire to tangle with a laser-eyed woman.
If I could at least see the beam's path, maybe, but they came at camera-flash speed. If she sniped from hiding, I'd be dead before I knew it.
I shuddered at the thought of my head flying off, shook my head, and rolled over while still prone. Then, lying comfortably, I stretched lazily and turned my gaze toward the stairs.
Right on cue, Carmen was coming up.
Floating beside her was some garish, colorful giant thingy bobbing along, and she was marching up with a triumphant look—until she spotted me lying there. Her face hardened.
She glanced up at the end of the hall. The corpse with holes blasted through its chest. I sat up and said to Carmen,
“Ah, you're here. Job's done. Let's head down.”
But Carmen's expression was grim. She scowled at me, trembling with anger, and spat,
“...You... you're... you're really...”
She scrunched up her face like she was about to say more, then marched past me toward the corpse.
“Hey! Hey, wait!”
As I reached out to grab her, she dodged my hand and yelled,
“Shut up! I really hate you! I have to check if you actually handled the job properly!”
What's her deal?
What's the problem??