Chapter 58
As I fixed him with a serious gaze, Rainer's expression turned equally grave. I'd already warned the staff on the way in not to let anyone else enter, so the tavern interior held only the two of us. Being a booze-focused establishment, the lighting was dim and murky—like an interrogation room where a prisoner was being grilled.
"......What conversation do you mean?"
He had to have some inkling of what I was getting at, but I narrowed my eyes at Rainer pretending otherwise.
"I'm talking about how Sir Ainheart knows my real name."
Rainer's shoulders twitched faintly. There was no way he didn't remember—I'd held a blade to his throat over it.
I stared intently into his wavering pupils, maintaining the tension as I slowly parted my lips.
"Back in that alley, you called me Kashmir."
"What an astonishing coincidence that the Crisis family's eldest daughter shares the name Kashmir."
"And amazingly, the person who introduced me to you was none other than Duke Crisis himself?"
As I laid out each peculiar point one by one, Rainer's eyes shook aimlessly. He averted his gaze, unsure what to do, and pulled his body back slightly. It seemed instinctive.
In this mana-enveloped world, I keenly read the wave-like fluctuations of his energy, his expression, his gaze—and drew my conclusion.
Rainer wants to avoid this situation.
I couldn't be certain exactly what he wanted to dodge. But my instincts whispered:
Rainer has already figured out that the mercenary Mir is Kashmir, but he doesn't want to confront it in front of the person herself.
I narrowed my eyes. Rainer Ainheart wasn't a fool. He'd likely realized from the moment we met at the debutante ball that the mercenary Mir was one and the same as Kashmir Crisis.
Yet here he was, plainly showing his desire to sidestep the issue when faced with it head-on. There had to be a reason.
"I'll be direct. I am Kashm—"
"Wait!"
Beating around the bush wasn't my style. Whatever his circumstances, I needed a firm promise from him that he'd keep my secret. So I was about to say it myself and get started when Rainer urgently cut me off.
I had to choke back my words with a muffled sound. The knight's firm palm gently covered the softest part of my body—my mouth.
Staring him down with my mouth sealed by his hand, I watched his eyes go momentarily blank as he glanced at my lips beneath his palm. When our gazes met, he snapped back to his senses.
"I am truly sorry. How dare I lay a hand on your body, Lady Mir. I—"
Rainer wore the face of a traitor who would commit seppuku if I so much as commanded it right then.
He apologized repeatedly, hastily pulling his hand from my lips, but I grabbed hold of the large hand trying to escape.
Rainer's hand was warm. His golden eyes, now captured, shook without direction. His fingers curled rigidly, like they were frozen stiff.
A taut tension enveloped us.
Hmm...
Leaving Rainer petrified like a stone statue, I sank into deep thought. He'd blocked my mouth so desperately that I'd let him, but no matter how I puzzled it over, the situation was bizarre.
What reason could Rainer have for not wanting to hear this?
The fact that the mercenary Mir was Crisis's lady was information that could fetch a fortune from any intel broker—easily an A+ grade.
Of course, Rainer wasn't the type to sell someone else's secret. But his demeanor suggested he feared me voicing my identity at all, which was profoundly odd.
"You've figured it out, haven't you?"
I twisted his wrist, still gripped in my hand, and turned to face him. Beating around the bush wasn't my style, but I didn't want to press him when he hated it so much without knowing why.
Rainer's face fell. His strangely flickering golden eyes stared off at some point on the table, then he blinked slowly. It was affirmation enough.
"Will you tell others?"
I narrowed my eyes, exuding a languid menace as I pressed my thumb hard into his wrist. The rough skin of a knight yielded beneath it. I could feel the harsh pulse racing under the surface.
A pressure point—the artery in the wrist. My touch carried a threat.
Rainer's hand stiffened visibly. Blood rushed to it so fiercely I wondered if it could even get this red.
With his free hand, he covered his face. His ears burned scarlet, as if scorched to ashes ready to scatter. My intimidation had clearly hit home.
"I won't breathe a word. I swear it on Ainheart's sword, my honor as a knight, and the Imperial Palace's 2nd Knight Order. So please... let go of my hand."
Hmm... that's him swearing on everything he has...
I gave a hesitant look at Rainer, his pale skin flushed entirely crimson as he pleaded earnestly. If I held on much longer, he'd probably pledge his organs and parents too.
"......I'll trust you."
Rainer wasn't one to lie. Wondering if he'd really been that scared, I slowly released his hand. He yanked it back in a flash, covering it with his other palm. Squeezing his eyes shut and turning his head away, his face resembled a scorching sweet potato.
The food arrived amid this awkward atmosphere: hamburg steak with vegetables and cream sauce. It was decent enough.
Glancing at Rainer, he was eating well too—at least, aside from mistakes like slicing the plate instead of the steak or nearly swigging sauce in place of water.
I finished first and watched him eat slowly. Sweat beaded on his forehead.
I opened my mouth cautiously. "Am I making you that uncomfortable?"
Screech. Rainer's knife hand slipped, carving right into the center of the plate. He'd pressed so hard a crack formed, cream sauce oozing through.
"Absolutely not."
He denied it firmly. His golden eyes burned with sincerity, yet somehow he couldn't hold my gaze for long.
Doesn't seem like it...
"Alright then."
He said no, so there was nothing more to say. Still, sensing his unease from my staring, I turned away and gazed out the window at the capital, where dusk was beginning to settle. It was early spring still; days were short.
Only after the sound of cutlery clinking onto the table did I turn back. Rainer had cleaned his plate spotless and was dabbing his mouth with a napkin.
"Was the meal to your liking?"
"It was satisfying. Thank you for treating me."
Formalities exchanged, a brief silence fell. I chose my words carefully and voiced what had been nagging at me.
"Is there a reason for that?"
Why avoid facing my identity? No subject was needed.
Rainer regarded me with eyes heavy with thought. Slowly, his lids lowered over those golden depths too profound to fathom. Squeezing his eyes shut, he spoke like a sigh.
"......Not yet. I don't want to know."
"Not yet, you say."
If he'd just said he didn't want to know, I'd have taken it as not wanting to get involved with me. But that "not yet" stirred unease.
Rainer slowly opened his eyes. The deep anguish that had clouded them like storm clouds was gone, leaving only a burning, fervent desire.
I stared into those flame-like golden eyes.
That boy.
The boy with black hair and blue eyes who had gazed at me so earnestly. Though long ago, he remained vivid in my memory.
The rosewood scent wafting ceaselessly from him prickled my nose, echoing that boy.
"When I've grown strong enough to fight back-to-back with you. That's when I'll come find you myself."
The words made no sense if I considered Rainer alone. But if he was that boy from back then...
A small suspicion swirled chaotically in my mind.
Rainer slowly extended a hand toward my face. His eyes sought permission for contact; I blinked slowly and nodded, giving the go-ahead.
His knight's callused fingertips brushed cautiously near my masked cheek. No sensation, of course. He gently cupped my cheek. His long fingers grazed near my ear, then withdrew.
The tension stretched taut, as if something might burst any second. I wasn't afraid of my mask coming off—I was certain he already knew who I was. Yet the air crackled because of Rainer right before me.
His hand toyed with the string securing my mask, as if dying to rip it away. His red lips clenched desperately to hold something back. His tongue flicked out repeatedly, wetting them anxiously. Those golden eyes, beast-like and brimming with desire, left no room for restraint.
"That day, you must give me an answer."
His face loomed close, his low, rough voice scraping my ear. In that instant, a fragment of long-faded memory resurfaced.
'When we're both grown, when our words carry weight and you're as strong as me. If your heart remains the same then... I'll give you a definite answer. No promises on meeting again, though.'
No way... really...?
Past and present tangled dizzyingly, churning my heart. I stared blankly into the scorching golden eyes inches from mine. A thick rosewood scent rose from his neared neck.
Rainer let out a heavy sigh. Though his hand roamed only the mask's surface, it felt like it was peeling back my skin. The roiling in his eyes, pregnant with something about to erupt, vanished behind his lids amid a sudden whiff of blood.
His red lips, gnawed by sharp canines, trickled crimson.
When his eyes reemerged, only raw, desperate pleading remained.
"......Until then, we'll pretend we don't know. I don't know your identity, and you only know me as 'Rainer Ainheart.' We haven't met again yet."
His expression was so resolute as he said it that I could only nod, words failing me.
"It's gotten quite dark outside. I'd like to escort you, but I doubt Lady Mir would want that. I'll take my leave first."
He withdrew the hand from my cheek, roughly wiping the blood from his lips with his knuckles, then shot to his feet. It was a frantic, fleeing motion.
"Stay well until we meet again."
His voice rumbled low, like it was buried in ocean depths, leaving those parting words. Rainer whirled and strode from the restaurant.
I stared blankly at his fluttering silver-gray hair, then murmured softly.
"Cartel... the name of the boy I met in that magic beast-infested forest."
"Rainer Cartel le Noah Ainheart."
Only then did I recall Rainer's full name.
The boy I'd met again had grown far beyond what I could handle.