Chapter 1. I Tried Screwing the Patriarchal Dad (TS) (1)
Suddenly, my dad got TS-ed.
Originally a patriarchal, middle-aged man with slicked-back hair, my father appeared as a slender beauty with a hime-cut fringe and long, straight hair, and I was greatly shocked.
"Who are you? Obviously a home-invading woman trying to scam settlement money by claiming false charges, right?!"
"It's your father, you bastard! Can't you even recognize your own appa!"
To illustrate just how patriarchal and tyrannical my dad was in this household, Omma left home because of it over 10 years ago.
"Hey, you bastard! After finishing your military service and graduating college, shouldn't you be getting a job and earning money?!"
With his wrinkled, heavily aged face looking 10 years older, the 46-year-old Park Jingu spent every single day busy grinding down on his NEET son, me.
Though it had no effect whatsoever on me since I'd already given up without any motivation and was just living at home playing games.
"I went to the hospital, and they said it's called Acute TS Disease, an incurable disease where you change genders and don't change back, uuu...!"
It wasn't just his gender that flipped; his body even grew younger.
The 46-year-old Park Jingu had become, by anyone's estimation, an 18-year-old Park Jinah.
Even though I hadn't adjusted to her slender and high-pitched voice, I still couldn't believe it even after seeing the ID she pulled out and showed me.
"Don't make me laugh! Now that you've already scammed my appa, are you trying to strip me bare too, huh? Maybe it was easy with my woman-crazy old man, but I'm not falling for it. I don't have any money in the first place!"
"Crazy bastard! Is that something you say to your appa?! That's exactly why you can't get a job and live like a loser!"
I froze.
The way she spoke was exactly like my appa.
Just that typical ignorant grit-mentality where he thinks everything works out if you just try and endure without knowing any circumstances, coupled with the utterly conceited patriarch who never lifted a finger in household chores.
Somehow, I got pissed.
"If you're really my appa, answer what I ask properly."
"Go ahead, go ahead! You unfilial fool who can't even recognize your own appa!"
Trying to rip me off by insisting she's my TS-ed appa. Now that's a novel concept.
But they say things feel different when you actually experience them, and with all her persistent insisting right in front of me, I even started to wonder—could it be real?
"Where did I get this scar on my elbow?"
"That's from when you stupidly got in the way while your father was fishing and got torn by a fishing hook. Because of you, I couldn't even finish fishing on my first trip in ages, tch, fuck, shitty bastard."
"I was behind you the whole time! You told me to stand there, then messed up yourself and did that while casting your float!"
"This bastard saying 'yourself' to his appa! Yourself!"
For the record, my appa and I have the worst relationship.
He didn't commit domestic violence, but he always nagged Omma to call Halmeoni to check in, set up the ancestral rites table, pushed all the housework on her, and insisted he was out doing business every night, coming home drunk in the early hours and ordering her to serve haejang-guk. Omma couldn't take it anymore and ran away from home.
"Do you know why I caught a cold the day before my CSAT?"
"Probably because you slept without enough covers, like a dumbass."
"It was because Appa flipped the whole house upside down saying he had no suit to wear tomorrow, so I was running the washing machine and ironing in the middle of a cold winter night and caught it. You conscienceless bastard!"
What Omma couldn't handle became my responsibility, and if I made a mistake, lightning-like curses and verbal abuse would fly at me.
I was so scared of Appa that I lived every day holding my breath.
Naturally, I became overly watchful of others and timid. So even after going to university and during my brief working life, I read excessive meaning into people's words and actions and got anxious—there was no way I could adjust.
"You... you punk. Your appa has ended up like this and you don't have a single word of concern, just spouting that crap?!"
"Crap? Did you ever say one warm word to me when I was sick or when Omma was sick? You just went on rants telling us not to pretend to be sick!"
"Rant? Raaant? You rotten son of a bitch!"
"Because of Appa, I had no friends, and forget having a girlfriend, I couldn't even hold a girl's hand or talk to one. Because of Appa, because of you!"
Let's admit it.
I have no choice but to admit it.
Seeing how every time she opened her mouth, she'd twist in words like a dagger that made my insides boil and blood pressure spike—it was definitely my appa.
Even though she'd become a girl, the fundamentally seething disgust wouldn't stop.
"What? Just because you're a loser, why do you blame Appa for it? I worked my body to the bone earning money, raised you all up without your mother, and you went off to some rural college, can't get a job. Now I get a disease and have to be treated like this? Get out! Get out and drop dead, you punk! As for women, you punk! Appa went through women, cycling through them and eating well before meeting your omma, you know that?"
Cycling through them and eating well, huh.
I know all about how he begged and pleaded with hostesses for 'business entertainment' to relieve his urges.
That was also the decisive reason Omma left home.
"Ha, fine. I got it. I got that you're Appa, so just go to work at your company. Nothing's changed except that you're a woman now. Let's just work the same as always and live as if we don't exist to each other. Okay?"
Ah, how exhausting.
Conversations running on parallel tracks with a target of my hatred are just draining.
It's more productive to just rank up in my game.
"You utterly unfilial bastard!"
Furious at my disregard, Appa ran over and roughly yanked out the PC power cord.
"Ah!"
Of all things, she had pulled it by the wire, causing thin strands of copper wire to pop out.
The PC was dead.
Because of this, the cord couldn't even be plugged back in due to fire risk.
Without a word, I got up, gathered my clothes, put them on, and headed to the front door.
"Where are you going!"
"PC bang."
"Your appa is in this state, and you're going off to play games?!"
Extremely agitated, Appa started kicking at my back.
Puk! Puk! Puk!
"Get out! Get out and drop dead!"
It didn't hurt at all.
Instead, I just felt like shit.
But I held back.
If I get baited by this petty provocation, it'll just be that same draining conversation all over again, and I'll just get pissed.
Without responding, I sat down in front of the entrance and tied my shoelaces.
Geez, these damn shoelaces keep coming undone.
Maybe it's because I only buy cheap ones since I have no money.
Puk! Puk! Puk!
"Die! Go on and die!"
My body shook, making it hard to tie the laces.
Annoyed, I shot a sideways glare of complaint behind me.
Appa flinched.
After I'd grown bigger, Appa stopped roughing me up carelessly.
What a truly cowardly bastard.
"Fucking punk."
And a man with truly paltry pride.
No, I guess she's a woman now.
"You think you're repaying the kindness after I took in a bastard whose seed I'm not even sure is mine and raised him?"
"...What?"
I couldn't hold back.
When I reacted, Appa let out a heavy breath and grinned, 'sheeek'.
"Didn't you know? I caught your omma having an affair, married her after she was half-dead, and then not long after, you were born. Fucking hell, I raised you with the mindset of polishing a stone, thinking I'd just become a Buddha...!"
It's a lie.
Omma dated someone else after declaring she was leaving Appa.
But Appa got drunk, came and beat that man up, and raped Omma.
She had no choice but to marry him, and from the hard married life and emotional distress, she had a premature birth with me.
Omma, always feeling wronged, confided all this to me when I was little.
"She already said that's not true several times."
I tried to say it in a calm tone, gritting my teeth, but Appa wasn't listening.
"You believe the words of a bitch who abandoned you more than the father who raised you?"
Appa snorted.
"Get lost, you son of a whore. Fuck me, after all this time, my life ends up wiping the cunt of a whore."
"Don't cuss at Omma!"
My vision turned bright red.
Kudangtang! I lunged and tackled Appa down.
Fallen onto the bedding I had been too lazy to fold up, Appa panicked and tried to push me away by hitting my chest.
"How dare you to your appa...!"
She tried to act tough, glaring fiercely, but facing my angry expression, Appa couldn't continue.
Seeing me, she was totally terrified, her eyes fearful, yet her lips twisted in fury.
"Let go! Let go, I said!"
I held her struggling body down tightly with both hands and arms.
"Let go-o!"
Appa resisted, even letting out that piercing metallic screech unique to women, but I didn't budge an inch.
"Don't cuss at Omma."
"Let go!"
"I won't say it a third time. Don't cuss at Omma."
As I subtly pressed her neck area with my forearm, Appa soon began to cough.
"Heugk!"
"You got it, or not?"
"I-ick...!"
Appa's pride was greater than I thought.
She gritted her teeth to the end, grinding them audibly, but refused to yield to me.
I also hunkered down, not letting go, settling in for the stalemate.
My gaze met Appa's tear-brimming eyes.
The longer that standoff stretched, the more I began to scan Appa's appearance without even shifting my eyes.
"Sheeek... shee...!"
Her white shirt had all its buttons popped off, gaping open to the side, revealing the space between her meager breasts.
It was an incredibly fair and pale space.
The way it rose and fell erratically from exhaustion was oddly provocative.
Ah, fuck.
I'm screwed.
"Uh... uh...?"
How long had it been since I jerked off?
From Appa's faint scent of sweat and the tightly pressed body position, my lower half began to react.
Since I'd neglected it for days while only gaming, my thing had grown long and was now accurately poking at Appa's crotch area from above.
"You... you don't mean...?"
Appa, sensing my breathing turning rough.
Only then did both her eyes and mouth fill with shock and horror.
And then I,
"H-how dare you... You're crazy, you bastard! I'm your appa, your appa, I said!"
"Don't give a shit."
My brain was being dominated by my cock.
"Appa just said I might not even be your appa."
Don't underestimate the sexual urges of a virgin, inexperienced man in his twenties.
Jjiiiiiiiiik-!
"Fuck! You animal-!!!!!"
Why else would I even pounce on my TS-ed appa?
Just like Appa said, I'm simply an animal with a semen tank.