"That's Not a Dog! It's Something Wearing the Form of a Dog!" (1)
"That's not a dog! It's something wearing the form of a dog!"
I huddled in the corner of the orphanage, staring blankly into space as I lost myself in thought. It's already been a whole month since I got dropped here. After wringing my dizzy, spinning head dry, I finally figured out where this place is. The Holy Argentia Empire. And the brown-haired girl diligently mopping in front of me is Elia.
The moment I heard the names, the novel my sister used to ramble on about endlessly popped into my head from my previous life. What was the title again? "The Regressed Villainess Gave Up on Living Quietly"? 'What a total generic mass-produced romance fantasy!' I snorted and giggled to myself inside.
The plot my sister told me about was super simple. Somehow, a modern woman gets isekai'd into a romance fantasy novel. The villainess protagonist tries to live nicely to avoid ruin, but ends up getting wham! killed unjustly. Dragged off by the male leads and executed, or something. Then, luckily, she poof! regresses to the past for revenge. She does contract dating with the hot Northern Duke, makes a ton of money to flex, toys with the crown prince! Plus, the Northern Duke is hot and commands a knight order of 20,000 strong. 'Does the author even know numbers?!' Lame! Anyway, in that novel where the villainess protagonist hogs everything, the Elia in front of me was originally the heroine. Always crying her eyes out, playing the boys like fish in a barrel, getting hated as a villain. Later, she gets properly educated and demoted to a no-name saintess. 'A novel that turns the original heroine into a bad girl?' Hmm, got it! The classic... what was it? Women are women's enemies? Then I'm probably an extra. So what do I do? I'm not the protagonist.
Thinking about it, there was some imperial academy that came up. That was the early setting, right? Elia would definitely escape this orphanage and get in there eventually. 'Can I tag along too?' Then I could just munch snacks and live the sweet life! Romance fantasy novels are predictable. Academy this, that—it's all dating, balls, tea parties. I'd just chill with steak or... what was steak again? Oh, meat. Juicy, dripping delicious meat! Thinking about it makes my mouth water. I want meat right now.
"Hehe."
But that'd take some time. 'Cause right now, me and Elia are both around ten years old. We'd have to get way older to go to whatever academy. 'Ugh...' My head hurts. I tried thinking long like an adult, but... I can't. Thinking too long makes it throb again? Give up. Complicated stuff later.
As I scrunched my face, the chatroom exploded again.
"Chloe, why the sad puppy face?"
Elia tilted her head after finishing mopping. I suddenly got curious about something from the chat. 'Cute?' I keep seeing "cute." Why? I jumped up and stuck right to Elia.
"Elia, am I cute?"
"Huh? Uh, y-yeah! Chloe's pretty! Your hair sparkles and... "
Elia answered nicely, a bit flustered. As expected of the original heroine. Personality like a total pushover, super kind. But reality was a dumpster fire. This was a third-rate orphanage full of poverty and corruption, just scheming to sell kids off.
"Ugh... Granny Director. I'm hungry. Can't we have just a little more food...?"
Lunchtime. After slurping down my watery oatmeal porridge, I held out my empty bowl. The wicked hooked-nose Orphanage Director's eyes flashed.
"You little parasite brat! Eat what you're given!"
Slap!
"Ow!"
Granny's sharp hand smacked my cheek. Tears welled up. No food and she hits?! Total real villain.
The blue chat window in the air laughed at me. Everyone except that Cradle person was just spectating whether I got hit or not.
As I pouted and sniffled in the corner, a hesitant hand approached.
"Chloe... don't cry. Want half of mine?"
It was Elia. She offered half her hard bread and porridge. She must be hungry too, but Elia's definitely kind. I sniffled and chomped the bread. Nom nom. Chew long and it gets sweet. That's the ami-whatsit enzyme breaking down the starches or something? Ami... ami... whatever. Name doesn't matter. Sweet is sweet.
"Nom... Elia's the best!"
But eating wasn't the end. The orphanage sent us out "externally" a few times a week. Granny called it self-directed learning, but it was just begging with baskets.
"Ugh, legs hurt..."
Walking the alleys with Elia, empty baskets in hand. Then,
"Kke-gang..."
A black furball trembled thinly by the trash pile. A skeletal puppy, one leg broken.
"What do we do... it looks like it hurts bad."
Elia rushed over and scooped it up. Poor puppy. That's when soft white light seeped from Elia's tiny hands.
"Huh...?"
Elia herself widened her eyes in surprise. The warm light brushed the puppy's broken leg, and the wound healed like a lie.
'Whoa, she really is a saintess candidate, huh?'
And not just that. Behind Elia, a dazzling golden-haired woman with feathered wings fluttered briefly and vanished.
The air text flashed, but I ignored it. 'That's the guardian angel effect for saintesses, right?' Total generic romance fantasy cliché.
"Woof! Woof woof!"
The healed puppy wagged its tail in Elia's arms. We excitedly carried it back to the orphanage. The other kids would love it, right? I'd share some of my bread for puppy food.
But that was a huge mistake.
"Y-you! What's that?!"
At the entrance, inspecting our baskets, Granny scowled at the puppy.
"Bringing in this filthy beast whelp?!"
Slap!
Granny's thick hand smacked Elia's cheek. Elia fell, puppy tumbling out.
"Why bring trash like this! You rice-wasters! Throw it out!"
Not satisfied with cursing us, she kicked the puppy.
"Nooo!"
"Kke-gang!"
The puppy rolled out the gate onto the street. Right then, a huge cart rumbled around the corner. No time to dodge.
Crunch! Dull sound. Puppy's cry cut off.
Red smear under the cart wheel.
My mind went white. The puppy turned red!
"W-waaah! Puppy!!!!"
I collapsed, wailing. Elia cried too, cheek swollen red.
Night fell. We dug in the backyard and buried the cold puppy corpse.
"Heavenly radiance, take this poor soul, grant it peace in your blessing..."
Elia clasped her hands, praying long. All done. I lay under a filthy blanket on the bed.
"Puppy..."
Daily slop is gross. Stinky clothes boring, daily begging annoying. And the cute puppy we barely found died so miserably. Evil granny. Trash orphanage!
But the most annoying? That damn blue chat window always in my face.
Bad guys just watching, not knowing my pain. Hot rage surged in my chest. I flailed tiny fists at the air. Definitely mocking me. Gotta get mad. Say something.
"Hey! The puppy died! Don't make fun!"
Pent-up fury burst.
"I hate everything! You make my head hurt! Turn adult into tiny girl! Hungry and cold! Puppy died and you just say weird shit!!"
Can't yell loud or Granny hears. Frustrating. Hate it all!
"Bad! You're all really bad!"
Couldn't do anything, tears from sadness. I curled up. The manic chat stopped dead. Eerie silence.
Hesitant apologies trickled in. Wiping tears, a glitched message slowly rose.
"New puppy...?"
Cradle, right? That one's been kinda nice. I sniffled and mumbled.
Help? Really give a new puppy? Adult logic says unbelievable. But 'Just go with it?' A weird hope bloomed in my head. I clamped my mouth, pulled the ragged blanket over my head, and closed my tired eyes.
How long was I out? I walked among huge beings. They all raised thousands of hands and tentacles cheering me. I waved happily.
"...!"
I bolted up. "Just a dream..."
Cold floor and hunger hit, making me sad. Until I felt soreness in my fingers.
"Huh?"
Weird patterns covered the wooden floor, dirt and black goo under my nails. Did I do this? Then, a small sound outside.
"Woof woof!"
Pale dawn shrouded in thick fog. Elia cautiously stepped into the orphanage backyard, reeking of damp moss and rotting wood. A strange damp chill had woken her from deep sleep.
In the dim blue pre-dawn gloom, a small figure huddled.
"Chloe...?"
At Elia's soft call, the girl with moon-silver hair like scattered ashes turned.
In her arms: a beast with jet-black fur, identical to the one crushed under the cart wheel last night.
"Elia! Our puppy didn't die after all!"
Chloe beamed innocently, hoisting the black beast high.
"Kki-ing!"
It licked her cheek, tail wagging.
Elia gasped. She'd buried that cold body herself yesterday.
'The puppy... was always like this?'
Her green child-eyes rippled with deep confusion. In the pale fog, it looked just like an adorable pup. But in the unreachable shadow of the girl's arms, the form writhed grotesquely. Something squirmed under smooth back skin, dozens of blood-glowing eyes blinked in and out amid black fur. Even, from flank and back, deep-red tentacles—like from ocean depths—shimmered hazily.
"C-Chloe... that's..."
Overwhelming dread like abyssal depths crushed together. Even as a child, Elia instinctively recoiled from the unfathomable.
Then.
"Kyuuung?!"
The black beast slipped free, waddling on stubby legs to Elia's feet.
"Kki-ing! Nang!"
It licked her worn shoe tip, rubbing cutely.
"Wh-what...?"
Elia froze. Confusing. Her innate noble spiritual sense screamed warning. That's no dog. An ineffable something defying world's laws.
Yet the beast belly-up on her foot, tail swishing, was so small, harmless. Sparkly eyes held no malice.
'No way. Just a newborn pup.'
Elia clutched her pounding chest, swallowing hard. Childish pure heart turned from truth. Fog too thick, must be seeing things. Dead come back? Impossible. Monster form? Just a dream. Maybe fairy or spirit. Anyway, cute puppy. A faint relieved smile touched her lips.
"Elia! Look! It loves you tons!"
Chloe scampered over, hugging the pup at her feet. The silver girl rubbing cheeks, giggling, warmed even this cold orphanage dawn.
Chloe's eyes sparkled as she shouted brightly.
"Let's raise this puppy together!"
Elia hesitated. Fear of Director's wrath? Or dread facing the surreal truth behind the dog-skin? But Chloe's amethyst eyes held strange magic.
Elia reluctantly answered.
"Uh, y-yeah!"