Infiltration
A short while later, we arrived at the small auditorium.
“Is this the place?”
“Yes. The theater club. It’s our first investigation site.”
“It really is spacious, just like you’d expect from a theater club. Let’s head inside.”
I knocked carefully. Knock knock.
“Excuse us.”
When I opened the door, a wide interior unfolded before us. A large stage sat in the center, and club members grouped in teams were scattered throughout, fully immersed in acting practice.
Since I had zero connection to this kind of thing in either my previous life or this one, it felt a little fascinating. As I stood there blankly watching, a second-year female student approached us.
“What brings you here?”
“Ah, we’re interested in the theater club. Would it be okay if we observed for a bit?”
“Really? Your names are… Ruan and Eris, right? I’m Marian. I’ll show you around. Would you like to follow me?”
Marian turned her back to us. The Saintess, who had been quietly observing the situation, suddenly cried out in a panic.
“Ah! W-wait a moment!”
“Yes? What’s wrong?”
“Would it be all right if we just looked around by ourselves first?”
“Just the two of you? You don’t have to do that…”
Marian tilted her head in confusion. A thick veil of suspicion poured from her expression and eyes. Under that gaze, the Saintess awkwardly flapped her hands before suddenly wrapping her arms around my forearm.
At that instant, paradise unfolded.
A softness that felt like my arm was melting. It pressed against my forearm like a weightless cloud one moment, then with the force of a towering mountain the next. The sensation in my arm gradually dissolved into that softness and finally vanished entirely.
The Saintess’s voice slipped sweetly into my ear.
“W-we’re lovers! We want to take our time and look around together!”
“Aha! I see. All right then. Take your time, and feel free to ask if you have any questions.”
“Thank you! Ruan, let’s go.”
“Ooh……”
“Ruan?”
The Saintess shook my arm, apparently trying to snap me out of my daze. The motion made her enormous breasts jiggle along with it, delivering an even more vivid sensation. This truly was salvation.
Lephentia, you were right.
There was no one in this world more suited to the position of Saintess than Iris! As I stood there basking in the divine greatness of her body, Marian gave a polite farewell and left. With her departure, that heavenly sensation also vanished.
“…Huh?”
When I looked down, the Saintess had already released my arm and stepped back. I turned to look at her face, only to find her pouting before she lightly punched me in the side.
“Get a hold of yourself! If you do that again, I won’t keep my promise!”
“What? Isn’t that a bit unfair? Can you really break a promise so casually?”
“Then you— I mean, Ruan—should do your job properly! Hurry up. We don’t have time to dawdle.”
“All right, all right.”
Thanks to her scolding, I barely managed to escape the spell of her massive breasts. We began investigating the small auditorium together.
And thirty minutes later, we were leaning against the second-floor railing, looking down at the auditorium. We had checked every club member, visited the stage direction room, and examined the place from every angle, but we couldn’t find anything suspicious.
The only place left was the prop storage room right next to the stage.
“Hmm… I guess we should check the storage room after all?”
“Yeah. Let’s go take a look. I’m sure there’s something in there!”
We went down the stairs to the first floor. Moving as naturally as if we did this every day, I reached for the doorknob.
That was when it happened.
“Who’s there?”
“Ah, uh! Yes?”
A male student who had been giving directions to the club members from the front of the stage called out to us. His brow was deeply furrowed.
“You don’t look like club members. Who are you, and why are you going into the storage room?”
“Ah! W-we’re here to observe today.”
“Observe?”
The male student scanned the Saintess from head to toe. As expected of a guy, his gaze lingered on her chest for a long time.
“Hmm… Even if you’re observing, you can’t go in there. Authorized personnel only.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. Props keep disappearing, so please understand.”
“…All right. We understand.”
We decided to back off for now. Forcing our way in here would only raise unnecessary suspicion. We moved to a spot a little distance from the stage.
“What should we do? It looks like we won’t be able to get into the storage room.”
“Ugh… If only that guy wasn’t there! In that case, one of us will have to distract him while the other sneaks in.”
“Then who’s going to draw his attention?”
“Obviously you, Ruan.”
“Me?”
“Yes! Because I’m the one who can sense demonic energy the best!”
The Saintess stared at me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I had no way to argue. Just as I was about to reluctantly accept—
“I told you that’s not it! Be more innocent! You know, like you’re a bit slow? That’s what you need to do!”
A harsh scolding rang out from the stage. When we looked over, the same male student who had interrupted us earlier was berating one of the club members.
“B-but wouldn’t it be better for a Saintess to seem more tolerant and mature?”
“That’s just your opinion! The public doesn’t think that way at all! Just look at the Saintess of the Church of Light! Does she look tolerant and mature? Her body might, but her mental age is clearly not! You have to copy that exactly!”
It was the kind of blasphemous remark that would earn an immediate trial as a servant of the devil if the Church of Light ever heard it.
And the person in question was standing right in front of me.
“What? Slow? Low mental age? How dare you! Grrrrr!”
“Saintess, please calm down.”
“How can I calm down?! Move! I need to settle this right now!”
The Saintess shoved me aside and marched toward the male student with heavy steps. The guy who had been scolding the club member noticed her presence and turned to face her.
“Hey, you!”
“W-what is it?”
“Can you take responsibility for what you just said?”
“Excuse me? What are you…”
“That a Saintess is slow and has the mental age of a child! You shouldn’t say things like that so carelessly!”
Normally, being confronted so directly would make most people shrink back. But this guy was no ordinary person.
“But isn’t it true?”
“It is not!”
“How would you know? Do you have any proof?”
“W-well, no, but… do you have any? You don’t either!”
“I don’t need proof. Anyone who’s seen how the Saintess usually behaves already knows.”
“Y-you—!”
The Saintess trembled with rage. The male student observed her closely, examining every feature of her face before his gaze dropped to her massive breasts. He nodded with a satisfied expression.
“Hmm… If you feel that strongly about it, why don’t you give us a demonstration?”
“What? A demonstration?”
“You seem to be a devout believer who knows the Saintess well. How about you show us and give some acting guidance? Then I’ll be convinced too.”
The male student’s suggestion was clever. It seemed like he was giving the Saintess a chance, but in reality, he lost nothing.
It’s a trap.
I saw through his scheme instantly. As I suspected, that guy must have had his eye on the Saintess ever since we ran into him at the storage room. And now that an opportunity had presented itself, he’d thrown out the bait.
The problem was that the thoroughly agitated Saintess had no room left in her head to notice.
“Fine! I accept!”
“Heh! Then please come up on stage. I’ll lend you some props too.”
“You think I can’t do it?! Ruan! I’ll be right back! Wait for me!”
The Saintess strode confidently onto the stage. And then she began her performance…
“I am Saintess Iris. Um… th-this land’s every living being shall receive my blessing! The gods are always watching over us and… uh… what was it again? J-just a moment!”
It was so terrible I couldn’t tell if she was trying to put up a shield or actually casting one. Every club member’s eyes were drawn to her as if mesmerized by the sheer awfulness of her acting.
Isn’t this the perfect chance?
After quickly scanning the situation, I stealthily made my way toward the prop storage room. I checked my surroundings one last time, then slipped inside faster than anyone else.
The lights were off, so the interior was dark. Still, thanks to my excellent sensory stats, distinguishing objects wasn’t a problem.
I quickly rummaged through the storage room. All sorts of props were rotting away under thick layers of dust. I had no idea how long they’d been neglected.
“So this is why they wouldn’t let anyone in?”
If a new member saw this mess right after joining, they’d probably run away. It was a pretty plausible theory.
After thoroughly searching the room for five minutes, I concluded there was nothing unusual. Even if the Dark Church had infiltrated the theater club, there were no clues to be found in the storage room.
I carefully slipped back out.
“Now do you get it? That’s exactly what a real Saintess is like!”
“Grrrr! Stop mocking me!”
“See? That’s the look. Right?”
On stage, the Saintess had completely dropped her mask and was rampaging in her true form. The male student seemed to enjoy even that, provoking her further. Still, the previously tense atmosphere had eased, and smiles had bloomed on the club members’ faces. Maybe it was for the best.
I walked over to the stage.
“Eris. How long are you going to keep that up? It’s about time we left.”
“H-huh? Oh, right! We had something to do, didn’t we? Hey! If you badmouth the Saintess again, you’ll regret it!”
After giving one final warning and sternly cautioning the male student, she came down from the stage. Once we reached a quiet corner, she spoke again.
“Hng… What do we do now? That guy wasted all our time. We still need to check the storage room.”
The Saintess belatedly remembered our original goal and pouted, sticking out her lower lip. I slowly savored her reaction before patting her on the back.
“You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Huh? Why not?”
“While you were drawing everyone’s attention earlier, I actually slipped into the storage room and checked it. There was nothing suspicious.”
“Really? Ruan, you’re amazing!”
The Saintess gave me a thumbs-up. Watching her bright, innocent smile, I had to admit the male student’s words weren’t entirely wrong.
“Then… can I get a little advance payment?”
“Advance payment?”
“Yeah. Just let me grope your breasts once.”
Honestly, I thought such a great performance deserved at least a small reward. But the Saintess firmly refused.
“No! That’s only after we finish everything!”
“Aww, how stingy.”
“Hmph! I’ve always been stingy! Anyway, I think we’ve seen enough of the theater club. Let’s move on to the next place.”
“Where are we going next?”
“Next is the alchemy club. Let’s get going!”
We made up an excuse to the girl who had welcomed us earlier—that the theater club didn’t really suit us—and left the small auditorium.
*
A few days later, I was once again out investigating with the Saintess.
“Haaam… Only two places left now.”
“Yeah. It has to be in one of these. I’m getting worried.”
“I know what you mean. It can’t be the very last one, right? I just want to be done with this already.”
Club visits had been mildly interesting at first, but now they were so boring I felt like I was going insane. As I stood there with my shoulders slumped from exhaustion, the Saintess put her hands on her hips and frowned.
Because of her posture, her white shirt stretched tight, and the buttons holding it together looked like they might pop off at any second.
“Isn’t your stamina way too weak?”
“Then why is the Saintess so full of energy?”
“Hehe! Because I train every single day!”
The Saintess puffed out her chest proudly at the praise. The buttons were now on death row. It felt like they would burst any moment.
“That’s impressive. Truly admirable. As expected, the Saintess is the best.”
“Hehe! If you know that, then behave yourself from now on!”
When I gave her one final burst of praise, the Saintess thrust her chest out even further. At last, the button that had reached its limit exploded magnificently.