Denial and the Dead Marquis
I roughly folded the newspaper and set it on the dining table, then spoke to Rene while chewing a mouthful of bread. “Rene… munch… I’ll be stepping out for a bit.”
Rene, who had been spooning soup into her mouth, asked carefully, “When will you come back?”
Why was she asking when I’d return with such unease? Was it frightening? The possibility that she might be preparing an attack or even suicide crossed my mind, so I decided I should keep the training cart inside my room.
“Munch, munch. Probably… I’ll be back in an hour or two. I’ll leave all the doors unlocked except mine, so get some sleep. Oh, and we’ll go out together later.”
Rene asked with open curiosity, “Where are you going?”
She had become remarkably obedient, a far cry from her arrogant demeanor a few days earlier. Had I broken her too thoroughly yesterday? I smiled bitterly to myself and answered, “To the clothing store. No matter that she’s a slave, she can’t live her whole life wearing nothing but a robe.”
The monster had left the room. Hurry… I need to wash…
The face I had seen in the mirror that morning was an absolute mess. There had to be a bathroom somewhere. The previous room had one, after all. Two doors on the right caught my eye. I turned the handle of one and found a toilet and bathtub. Thank goodness there’s a bathtub.
I slipped off the robe and laid it beside the sink. My reflection in the large mirror showed translucent stains on my thighs, and my face grew hot on its own. The traces from what came out of me yesterday…
Suddenly remembering how that monster had licked my most intimate place, shame and embarrassment surged through me. It’s so embarrassing… Why would he lick something like that?
In this culture, any physical relationship not intended for procreation was defined as sin. The sexual desire itself that allowed God’s humans to prosper was not sinful, but adultery, infidelity, and contraception were all condemned. Of course the promiscuous nobles did whatever they pleased, yet the family education Rene had received had been strictly conservative.
For someone raised with such conservative sexual instruction, oral sex was an enormous shock. Why would he do something like that? Is he not afraid of the gods?
This was a world where gods clearly existed, proven by the presence of divine power. People here lived with a tangible awareness of the divine. That the gods had instructed humanity to shun lewd behavior, yet this monster performed such perverted acts—it was incomprehensible to Rene.
In truth, though she tried not to show it, she had felt pleasure. The man’s touch and caresses that tormented her had undeniably aroused her. But she could not admit it openly. For a virgin like her to acknowledge her own lewdness was nearly impossible.
In reality, it was difficult to call Rene lewd. By modern standards, responding to stimulation with pleasure was simply common sense. Becoming wet from being caressed or touched was a natural physiological instinct for a woman—a bodily reaction separate from one’s will, not proof of desire. It was hardly fair to label it lewdness, but Rene knew none of these facts.
I am not lewd.
That was why she desperately denied the pleasure she had gained from Arthur’s touch. In this world’s culture and religion, pursuing pleasure was a sin. As the daughter of a saint, it was impossible for her to ever admit she was lewd.
So she forced herself to believe Arthur’s actions were lewd and immoral. It wasn’t good at all. It was just… just that he used some strange trick.
Protecting herself with these thoughts, she washed her body. Unlike before, Rene felt somewhat refreshed.
She dried herself, lay down on the bed, and fell asleep. As Arthur had said, she had barely slept the night before.
How long had she slept?
“Mmm…”
Rene woke feeling the fatigue had lifted. Perhaps because the exhaustion was gone, her thoughts drifted back to the events of the previous night. That monster definitely made it so painful yesterday…
Thinking about yesterday brought such pain and humiliation that she had wanted to die… No, she had tried to die but failed.
Yet the man who had looked at her with a bitter smile—
The first time that monster had spoken in such a gentle tone.
That tone, as if he were worried about her, felt repulsive. The way he had held her, sitting on this sofa…
Suddenly the memory of what had happened on the sofa yesterday resurfaced, and Rene’s face burned.
Yesterday, to stop him from insulting the Empire and the imperial family, and out of the despair of being unable to escape his grasp, she had tried to offer her purity to that monster.
If she could not run away anyway, she had begged and pleaded with him not to insult the Empire, its citizens, or her family, even resorting to seduction. An act so shameful her ears burned just thinking about it. All of it had been a choice made for her homeland, her beloved family, and the people of the Empire.
Rene truly could not stand having those she loved insulted by the monster right before her eyes. That was why she had tried to trade her purity with him. After all, her purity would become his regardless. If she could protect the honor of everything she loved with her purity, she had wanted to do so.
Of course, that monster would pay the price later.
With that firm resolve, Rene had acted. But the monster had not fallen for her seduction. Instead he had held her, spoken kindly, and done things too embarrassing to name, claiming they were a reward.
This was only the third day since she had come to know that monster. It was the first time the man who had only insulted and tormented her had embraced her and treated her with care, and it had felt better than the strange drug he had used.
His gentle tone and gaze. Even the warmth of his body. Rene remembered it all vividly.
But then she shook her head fiercely. No! It wasn’t good! Not at all!
The memory that suddenly rose was of the man pressing his lips to her cheek.
Why had her heart fluttered then? Rene had been pushed to the limit by unbearable tension. In that heightened state, the pounding caused by intense skinship had been misread as the flutter of romance, but she possessed no knowledge of such psychological effects. It was what experts called the suspension bridge effect.
Because of it, she felt confused. Th-that can’t be! There’s no way I would like a man like him!
It would have been easier to faintly admit it had felt good; the memory might have faded. But she could not acknowledge it, and the more she denied it, the more it resurfaced. Arthur had even taken this into account.
Rene could not admit that, in a situation of coercion and violence, she had felt her heart race for the man who suddenly showed gentleness. She had fallen into an emotional trap, a snare. Of course, this was all designed by Arthur.
Arthur, who understood primal human psychology well. There had been complex reasons behind why he had caressed her like a lover the night before. Even so, he had not expected it to work this perfectly.
“Ugh…”
Unaware of the full story, all that remained for her was the fact that her heart had raced for that man, something she truly did not want to admit. What am I thinking right now? That can’t possibly be true.
Insisting to herself that she had not felt that way, she let out a deep sigh.
“Whew.”
Because something so embarrassing happened here yesterday, that must be why.
Considering everything he had done to her until now, what happened on the bed had been different. Stop! It must be because I sat on the sofa. If I keep thinking like this, my mind will break.
She was fine. She was not lewd.
With a frustrated heart, she left the room. Staying in this room where she had been most excited yesterday would only invite more strange thoughts.
Once in the living room, she sat on a chair at the dining table. It’s so stifling.
The window in front of her. She rose to open it, but the window would not budge. As if enchanted, whenever her hand approached, an invisible force gently pushed it away.
I can’t do anything here…
Reduced to a state where she could not even open a window, Rene felt a wave of sorrow. What are my family… doing now that they know I’ve disappeared?
Is my brother searching for me? Currently, with her and her brother Ian’s parents traveling, the practical ruler was her brother Ian.
Recalling the newspaper Arthur had been reading earlier, Rene hurriedly searched for it. She found the cheap paper densely packed with text.
Yes, there might be news about me!
She opened the newspaper.
On the first floor, I headed to Veloki’s office to meet him and ran into the man himself.
“Mr. Arthur, hello. I was actually planning to visit because of an urgent matter, but this works out perfectly.”
“An urgent matter?”
He opened the door to his office and continued. “Let’s talk inside my office first.”
As soon as we entered, Veloki sat in his chair and said, “First, regarding the necklace you requested, I’ve already informed the designer. They plan to visit around lunchtime tomorrow.”
I asked to see how long completion would take. “I see. Then how long until it’s finished?”
Hearing my question, Veloki frowned slightly in thought. “Hmm, I’m not entirely sure. I only know these things vary by design, so it would be best to ask the designer directly when they visit tomorrow.”
It would probably depend on the materials as well. When I nodded, Veloki asked with a serious expression, “Mr. Arthur. There is a problem at the association right now.”
“A problem?”
“Yes. It’s a matter that involves you as well, Mr. Arthur.”
The rather grave atmosphere made me swallow hard. It couldn’t be that there was trouble because Rene was a princess… right? My head knew the possibility was nonexistent. But the only thing I had done recently was train Rene. Just in case, by some one-in-a-million chance that Rene really was a princess? Then my life was over.
I had heard rumors of how ruthless the intelligence bureau here could be. If Rene truly was a princess, I would be better off ending my own life.
No, it couldn’t be. It made no sense probabilistically. I had to trust my reason that it was impossible. Out of those tens or hundreds of thousands of possibilities, there was no way the real her was a princess.
As I tried hard to convince myself it was something else, Veloki spoke in a low voice. “What I am about to tell you is confidential information from the association. You must not leak it anywhere. If you do, you could be expelled from trainer associations across the entire world.”
An association secret? What could it be that he spoke with such gravity? I was puzzled.
“I understand. Please tell me quickly.”
He nodded. “It concerns the slave Rene, for whom the association received a commission.”
At the mention of Rene’s name, the first thought that flashed through my mind was whether she might be a princess. If so, what should I do? Could I escape the Empire’s intelligence network? Where would I flee?
In that instant, hundreds of worries flooded my head as I anxiously waited for Veloki’s next words.
“Her owner, Marquis Sade, has died, so the commission has been canceled.”
Dammit, of course. What princess? I felt utterly embarrassed inside for having entertained such an absurd delusion even for a moment.