The Northern Shield and the Silver-Haired Beauty
Love? Actually, the answer was already decided. I ignored the bastard—some prince or whatever he was—who kept yanking my chain and tore into the meat. For a moment, the world looked different. The Crown Prince, the Holy Sword, whatever—none of it mattered. This meat was just fucking delicious. It wasn't monster meat; it was the flesh of a beast that had actually lived. I don't know how they roasted it, but the skin was crispy and the meat was tender. It melted in my mouth. I couldn't even hear the guy screaming in front of me. It was salty, sweet, and packed with umami. This was the delicious food I’d always wanted to eat.
As I was devouring the meat like a savage, I heard a strange sound.
Clang—
The sound of someone drawing a sword snapped me back to reality.
"You bastard! Do you have a death wish? I, Lucas von Schwartzvalt, Crown Prince of the Empire, shall strike down your neck with Galatin, the Holy Sword that severed the Demon King’s head! Consider it an honor!"
I saw the Crown Prince huffing and puffing, brandishing that "Holy Sword Galatin" or whatever. I picked the meat clean off the bone, grinned, and said, "Hey, Your Highness."
"Begging for your life won't help you now! Die!"
Clang—!!
He swung his sword, but the blade never touched my neck. I had blocked the strike with the bone of that mysterious beast I’d just finished eating.
"This... what is this...!?"
He pushed harder, but there was no way that was going to work. I heard murmurs from the crowd.
"The Crown Prince’s Holy Sword... was blocked."
"More importantly, isn't that a pig bone?"
Was it pork? No wonder it tasted so nostalgic. Even a simple pig bone can be used as a weapon. That is my power. Unlike that guy who got lucky and cut off the Demon King’s head while dragging along a party of trash—the so-called "Hero’s Party"—I fought on a true battlefield. Do you even know the pain of starvation? The thrill of battle? And the taste of this meat?
The guy interrupting my meal clearly didn't know any of that. He pulled his sword out of the pig bone and launched another strike. I didn't even look at him; I just ate what looked like duck meat with my left hand while dealing with him.
"Why, why won't the sword cut through!"
"Hey, Your Highness or whatever you are."
"Wh-what is it...!?"
"You're ten years too early to challenge me."
This time, after eating a piece of beef, I swung the pig bone.
Whack—
The Holy Sword Galatin or whatever it was flew through the air and embedded itself in the ceiling. The Crown Prince stared blankly at his sword stuck in the rafters.
"How..."
"Let's just have a nice time. I'm hungry."
At my words, silence descended upon the banquet hall. The prince was just opening and closing his mouth, looking back and forth between his empty hands and the sword stuck in the ceiling.
Is he a carp? I guess he could have a carp-sized brain. Ignoring him, I reached for the vegetables. It was a salad tossed in a sweet sauce. I grabbed a handful and shoved it into my mouth. Delicious. It felt like the grease from the meat was being washed away. Then, back to the pork, beef, and duck.
"Barbarian...!!"
"He's eating with his hands."
I heard those comments, but I didn't think much of it. In the place I mistook for an apocalypse, this was the norm. I mean, there was no need for silverware or plates. I survived that life for ten years. Who could dare take away my pride?
"You crazy barbarian! How dare you treat the Imperial treasure like this...!!"
The Crown Prince finally seemed to grasp the situation and shrieked. The guys in flashy armor surrounding him all reached for their sword hilts at once. Oh, so that's how you want to play? Well, I have a way for that, too.
"Hey, Weapon Warehouse."
I spoke my ability out loud. A status window appeared before my eyes.
Universal Weapon Warehouse
Inventory: 135,492 / ∞
Which weapon would you like to retrieve?
"Thirty of the weakest ones."
Command executed.
In that instant, cracked axes, spears, swords, and flails popped out of thin air. Thirty in total.
"What is that?!"
"Run away!!"
The people gathered in the banquet hall fled one by one, and the guys in flashy armor drew their swords. Emboldened by that, the Crown Prince screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Kill him!!"
"That is enough, Your Highness."
A voice cut in. It was clear and cool, and distinctly a woman's voice. My body stiffened at the sound of a woman's voice for the first time in so long. I turned my gaze toward the source, and a woman with short, silver hair was walking out.
A snow-white dress. A waist cinched tight by a corset like something out of a romance fantasy, and breasts that asserted their presence above it. And, the face. Wow, she's fucking beautiful. I almost said it out loud, but I grabbed hold of my sanity and barely managed to hold it in.
"Put the weapons away."
Command executed.
The weapons floating in the air returned to the warehouse one by one. She looked every bit the daughter of a noble family. Maybe she was even a member of that trash party.
"Elena! How dare you defy my orders! That vulgar barbarian insulted me, the foundation of this country!"
The Crown Prince shrieked, but the woman called Elena didn't even glance at him.
"Your Highness, you were the one who drew your sword first. Besides, is he not the Northern Legion Commander whom His Majesty personally ordered to be welcomed as a state guest? Is it Imperial etiquette to point a blade at a precious guest?"
"Th-that is...!!"
The Crown Prince was rendered speechless.
Who is this woman? She's beautiful, has a nice voice, and is well-spoken. I felt like I was falling for her. Elena walked past the huffing prince and approached me.
Click, click.
The sound of her heels on the marble floor stopped, and she lifted the hem of her skirt slightly to show me respect.
"Nice to meet you, Northern Legion Commander. I am Elena von Weisswaltz."
"Uh... really? I'm Go Sugil."
For the first time, a flicker of bewilderment crossed her cool, blue eyes. "Pardon? Are you not Commander Nikolai Tashkievich?"
Come to think of it, was that my name? I should memorize it. "Ah, haha. I've stayed in the North for so long that my memory gets a bit fuzzy sometimes. Yes, I am Nikolai Tashkievich."
"I see."
Elena smiled brightly at me. Thump. Wait, did my heart just skip a beat? Damn it... I haven't talked to a woman in so long that I feel like I'm losing my mind. Seeing her up close, she was truly insane.
She had a face so beautiful I could fall in love on the spot. On top of that, the woman who had been wearing a cold, haughty expression was smiling brightly at me.
In that instant, the word "meat" that had been dominating my brain flew away completely.
Think about it. It's been ten years. Ten years.
For that long, I only spent time with men, and female-type monsters weren't human women, so I didn't even look at them. The last time I talked to a woman was seven years ago. And even then, she was a woman in name only; her appearance was no different from a man's. I realized that the most important thing to me right now was my image in front of this silver-haired beauty.
I scrubbed the pork grease off my mouth with my sleeve and equipped the softest, sweetest smile I could muster.
Even though my outfit was a disaster, my original specs were that of a statue-like beautiful young boy, so my face would cover for it somehow. Even that mysterious voice I heard when I arrived at the banquet hall acknowledged that. Hmm. I was thinking that when—
"Elena! Get away from that filthy barbarian at once!"
The Crown Prince, his face flushed red, stepped forward shouting. He had just had me draw thirty weapons and forced his guards to draw their swords, but now that a pretty woman was standing in front of him, he seemed to have suddenly found some hidden courage. "You don't know what that beast-like creature will do to you! I cannot tolerate you, my noble party member and precious colleague, standing next to such a vulgar wretch!"
The prince tried to block Elena's path with exaggerated gestures that would put a stage actor to shame. This fucking bastard. I was finally trying to have a conversation with a woman, a fucking beautiful one at that. "If you got your ass kicked by a pig bone, why don't you get lost?"
"Y-you, you barbarian...!!"
The prince's face turned almost as red as a ripe persimmon as he threw a tantrum.
"Captain of the Knights! Strike him down at once! Do you not hear my command?"
"I told you to stop, Your Highness."
I scoffed lightly and said to Elena, "Is Imperial etiquette always this noisy?"
Elena shook her head. "Your Highness, please stop the commotion and go inside to sleep for today."
"Elena, how dare you... I am the protagonist of this grand banquet!!"
"His Majesty is arriving soon."
Hiccup—
At the mention of the Emperor, the Crown Prince started hiccuping.
"There is not even five minutes left. Knights, sheath your swords, escort the Crown Prince, and withdraw!!"
The guys in flashy armor must have belonged to the Knights or something. They supported the stunned prince and disappeared from the banquet hall. Elena smiled brightly at me again. Thump, thump. Damn it, my heart is racing again. Someone grabbed my hand as I stared blankly at her face. It was soft and warm.
"Commander, you cannot meet His Majesty in this attire. Even if this outfit is suitable for the battlefield..." She said to me with a bright smile.
"Let us go and change your clothes."
"Clothes?"
"Yes. Let us go together."
Hiccup. I started hiccuping too. And my heart felt like it was going to burst at any moment.