A Day of Delusion and a Week of Hell
Schedules were piling up one by one at the Grand Duke's residence. My deadbeat life had lasted exactly one day. The Empire Unified Swordsmanship Tournament? The Emperor's Swordsmanship Competition where you'd clash in bloody battles against the capital's noble knights? Did that mean I'd have to endure Karin's hellish sword training for the next several months—or even years? 'Are you insane? Why the hell would I do that?' My inner sloth reared up in protest.
I'd already spent a full year at the Wall, dancing with death every single day like a dog. I'd finally earned a soft bed, the privileged existence of waking up to fresh bread, warm soup, and all the delicious southern shrimp and crab I could stuff myself with each morning. And now they wanted me to swing a sword again, sweating blood and tears? Sacrifice my golden freeloader lifestyle for a single trophy? 'Not a chance in hell.'
I waved my hands without a moment's hesitation. "Ah, I'm truly grateful for the offer... but I'll have to decline."
"......What?"
Karin's eyes widened like saucers. I shrugged with an utterly lazy, shameless expression.
"No, think about it. Why should I go through the trouble of entering a tournament? I never planned on leaving the Grand Duchy in the first place."
"W-what are you saying! Unlike me, you are a young man with a bright future ahead of you! How can you talk about shutting yourself away inside the Grand Duchy forever!"
"It's hardly cramped. The Grand Duchy makes up a third of the empire's territory. It's so vast you couldn't see it all in a lifetime of wandering."
I continued in a sly tone, watching Karin's flustered face. "Besides, my brother... I mean, His Grace treats me so well." Not that it isn't burdensome, though....
"I can just stay here in his shadow, eat the food he provides, mind my manners, and live comfortably. Why volunteer for suffering? Focus on teaching Lady Veronica your swordsmanship instead."
My extremely lazy and brazen freeloader mindset left Karin gaping, unable to speak. It seemed utterly incomprehensible to a knight who'd devoted her entire life to the sword and the pursuit of honor.
"Y-you... you rotten bastard...!"
Huh, that's kind of cute?
Karin's face began flushing red and purple. It looked like her pride had taken a hit—not only from my refusal to accept her apology, but from the fact that I'd casually kicked away such a magnificent proposal as if it were nothing more than a complaint about the food.
Karin, who desperately needed to persuade me in order to repay her debt and ease her conscience. In her urgency, logic and reason flew out the window as all sorts of wild nonsense began tumbling from her lips.
"I-it'll definitely help you later! Winning the Libertree sword tournament! It'll bring tremendous honor to your life!"
"Ah, I don't need any honor."
"M-marriage! Yes, marriage prospects! It helps with those too!"
"......Pardon? Marriage?"
When I asked back in disbelief, Karin turned beet red—whether from the lingering alcohol or embarrassment—and stammered. "Y-yes! Unlike me, you're still a man...! Though you're a commoner, you bear the title of benefactor to the Grand Ducal House. If you add recognition from outside the duchy by winning a swordsmanship tournament...! You could form excellent marital alliances with influential noble families from other territories or daughters of wealthy merchant conglomerates! As a man, shouldn't you build a proper family and live respectably!"
Karin had reached the point of babbling about other people's marriage arrangements in her frantic effort to get me to train. Her desperate, flimsy reasoning was so absurd and ridiculous that I nearly burst out laughing inside. Playfulness stirred within me.
"Aw, why bother looking outside? I'm sure there are one or two fine ladies right here in the Grand Duchy who think highly of me~"
I deliberately tossed out a mischievous jab in an arrogant tone, scraping at Karin's nerves. "Even if I look like this, I was quite popular with the women back at the Northern Wall, you know." Of course, those were probably just business compliments from the Wall's working girls.
"I think I can settle down comfortably here without needing to sweat through a tournament."
"Y-you... you...!"
Suddenly, Karin's shoulders began to tremble violently. The remnants of drunkenness. The shame of failing to protect her honor. The desperation to persuade me somehow. Mixed with the strange anger from my mischievous joke, her emotions seemed to have finally snapped.
"I... I offered to give you my everything... casting aside all my pride to beg... yet you, to the very end, you... hic..."
"......Huh?"
I couldn't believe my eyes. The desolate, worn-out gaze that had looked ready to devour me moments ago was suddenly filling with transparent moisture. Her eyes reddened, her lips quivered as if fat tears might start falling any second, and she began to sob.
Wait, wait just a second! Why is she crying?! What the hell did I do?!
I recoiled in shock, taking a step back. The original story's strongest knight—that one-armed sword demon—was now sniffling like a young girl on the verge of tears from just a few of my teasing words. This was completely unexpected. Panicking, I dropped the joke and rushed to make excuses.
"Ah, no! Sir Karin! I spoke too harshly! Please don't cry! It was my mistake!"
In that brief instant as I waved both hands trying to salvage the situation—
No, hold on. Thinking about it... I might actually need to leave the Grand Duchy after all.
All traces of amusement vanished. I realized how complacent I'd been.
The original story's mastermind: Gareth the Grand Duke's younger brother and the root of all this tragedy—Uncle Gawain von Arteta.
To stop that bastard...
He carried the Grand Duke's blood. On top of that, he was a capital dignitary who'd spent years building connections in the heart of the empire.
With only a position inside the Grand Duchy, it might be difficult to block him.
No matter how much favor I received from the Grand Duke and how sweetly I lived inside the residence, without political power or external reputation, my options against Gawain's schemes would be limited.
But if I possessed a reputation recognized even outside the Grand Duchy... he wouldn't dare touch me recklessly.
Karin was right. If I truly wanted to live a comfortable, safe honeybee life in this romance fantasy world, I needed solid martial strength to protect me and fame in the outside world.
The spear-poking skills I'd picked up at the Wall wouldn't cut it. Receiving personal sword instruction from Karin—who would become the empire's greatest knight—and gaining fame through the tournament? This was a golden opportunity I should kneel and beg for if necessary.
"......Sir Karin."
With a suddenly serious expression, I approached the still-sobbing Karin. "I was short-sighted. You're right."
"......Hic...... What?"
Karin looked up at me in confusion, roughly wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
"I'll accept your apology. No—rather, I'm the one who should be making a request. Please teach me."
I bowed deeply with perfect courtesy. "If you would impart your swordsmanship to me, I will gladly enter that tournament and bring home the championship trophy. And I will become a respectable, strong knight who won't be looked down on by anyone outside the Grand Duchy either."
My abrupt change in attitude left Karin staring at me blankly, teardrops still clinging to her lashes. It was only natural for her to be bewildered—the same man who'd declared he'd live like a parasite had suddenly transformed into a hot-blooded shonen protagonist making a solemn vow.
"A-are you serious...? You're not teasing me... you truly mean you'll endure my training?"
"I am completely serious. I misunderstood your profound intentions for a moment. Please train me as harshly as you wish."
At my firm reply, the tears in Karin's eyes vanished, replaced by bright relief and joy. The pride of having protected her honor. The excitement of gaining an excellent disciple seemed to make her heart pound.
"......Thank you, Sir Bale! Thank you so much!"
Overcome with emotion, Karin seized both my hands. With that same monstrous grip that had nearly broken my arm earlier, she shook them up and down vigorously.
"I swear on my honor—I will make you the empire's greatest swordsman! Report to the training ground at dawn tomorrow!"
"Ah... yes, yes. Please go easy on me."
I forced a smile and tried to pull my hand free. But Karin kept gripping it tightly, gazing at me with an innocently bright, overwhelmed expression. That flushed face and the tear tracks around her eyes. The cool wandering knight from the original story was gone; in her place stood a large, praise-hungry dog of a woman in her twenties.
Sigh... I actually made a woman cry.
I let out a deep internal sigh. The illusion had shattered after discovering the true nature of this erotic-novel-loving drunkard Karin. Still, watching her hold my hand and rejoice like a child made the brutal training ahead seem not entirely bad. Of course, the reality of surviving the hellish regimen starting tomorrow was part of the package.
"Then... I'll see you tomorrow, Master."
"Rest well. Tomorrow I'll make sure you can't walk out on your own two feet!"
With heavy steps, I trudged out of the third-floor guest corridor where Karin's room was located. Every ounce of energy had been drained from my body. Taking care of the drunk female knight and securing special training was fine and all—
No, fine my ass. Dawn training starting tomorrow?
As I imagined my golden deadbeat life turning into an honest, hardworking one overnight and stepped toward the enclosed staircase leading to the fourth floor—
"Kyaaaaaaaaaaah—!!!"
"......?!"
A scream suddenly erupted from deep inside the third-floor corridor. It wasn't a simple cry of surprise but a desperate shriek as if someone were being attacked by an assailant. The source was unmistakably Karin's guest room, which I'd just left.
"What happened!"
"Is it an enemy attack? Third floor!"
The two guard knights stationed at the fourth-floor entrance drew their swords at the scream and charged down the stairs toward the third-floor corridor.
But—
"......Wait, stop!!"
I threw myself in front of them, blocking their path. Arms spread wide to completely seal the staircase entrance, I shouted desperately.
"S-Sir Bale! Step aside! A scream just came from Sir Karin's room...!"
"It might be an intruder! We must check immediately...!"
"No! There is no intruder! You absolutely cannot go in!"
Sweat poured down my face as I held them back. Why had she suddenly screamed? Only one reason came to mind.
She finished washing her face and returned to the room sober. After I left, she must have looked at the desk.
The realization that while she'd been passed out drunk, I'd been waiting alone in that room. And that a high-level erotic novel had been sitting on the desk.
She must have realized I saw it and screamed.
Out of sheer embarrassment. The shame of her honor and cool image being exposed to me—a man—because of that one obscene book had torn that scream from her throat.
If the guard knights burst into her room with swords drawn like this?
"Sir Karin! What happened! Is it an enemy!"
And while searching the room, they discovered the erotic novel on the desk?
......That woman might actually bite her tongue and commit suicide.
Considering the pride of someone who rose from commoner to knight and staked her life on honor... being caught with adult material by the Grand Duke's residence knights would be tantamount to social execution.
To protect my future swordsmanship master's honor, I desperately began spouting whatever nonsense came to mind.
"T-that was a kiai shout! A kiai!"
"......Excuse me? A kiai?"
The guard knights froze with swords still drawn, looking dumbfounded.
"Exactly! Sir Karin agreed to take me as her disciple starting tomorrow and provide special swordsmanship training! So right now, she's strengthening her resolve with a kiai shout to become an excellent master!"
"No matter how you explain it, how could a scream like that be a kiai..."
"It's southern! A southern-style kiai! In Libertree County, they roar like that when steeling their will! I was with her until just now, so I'm certain. Entering now would disturb Sir Karin's concentration!"
My completely illogical, forced argument made the knights glance at each other and tilt their heads. But the person before them was Sir Bale, the hero of the Grand Duke's residence who'd saved His Grace's life. Plus, my expression was deadly serious and solemn, so they eventually sheathed their swords with some reluctance.
"......Southern customs are certainly unique."
"If Sir Bale says so, we'll trust it. We nearly committed a grave discourtesy."
"Whew... Yes. Thank goodness. Carry on, then."
I let out a huge internal sigh of relief, bowed to the knights, passed through the fourth floor, and fled up to my bedroom on the fifth like I was escaping.
Karin, you owe me big time tomorrow. I just saved your social life.
I collapsed onto the soft bed as if I'd been thrown there.
"Haa......"
Starting tomorrow, it's literacy studies without fail, plus sword training....
Schedules were piling up one by one at the Grand Duke's residence. My deadbeat life had ended in a single day.
Still...
I couldn't just laze around relying on the Grand Duke's favor. I needed to become stronger myself to protect the peaceful Grand Duke's residence that loved me from Uncle Gawain's evil grasp. I had to master reading to stop being treated like a stupid commoner. I needed to get close to the young lady to secure my safe retirement.
Yeah, whatever. I survived a year at the Wall, so I can handle this.
With equal parts anticipation and dread, I buried my face in the pillow and fell into a deep sleep.
And.
Exactly one week later.
"......I must have lost my mind. Fuck."
Sprawled out like a starfish on the dirt-covered training ground floor, I stared at the dawn sky as the sun began to rise and spat out curses.
"Get up! Your breathing is disordered! The enemy won't stop their attack just because you've fallen!"
Karin loomed over me, wooden sword pointed at my throat as she bellowed. In pain like my lungs were being torn apart, I barely turned my head to check the clock in the corner of the training ground.
Six in the morning. Dawn, when even the servants of the Grand Duke's residence were only just rubbing their eyes awake, with the sun not yet fully risen.
"Crazy woman... don't you sleep..."
A groan slipped out before I could stop it.
One week. My freeloader life had devolved into that of a retake student.
Using my sword lessons as an excuse, Karin was clearly intent on grinding me to dust.