The Ruined Life
“Heh heh heh heh.”
Staring at my bank balance, I couldn’t help but grin.
Once today’s pay hit the account, this pathetic overdraft would finally flip to positive.
I’d head home, greet the fried chicken gods, and celebrate this glorious moment…
“Hey, you idiot! How many times do I have to tell you not to step out of frame?”
My happy daydream shattered at the sound of Team Leader Woo’s barking voice.
“Looks like today’s scapegoat is the newbie.”
“Poor thing. She seemed young and pretty, too.”
“He’ll chew her out, try to get her replaced. If she wants to keep working, she’ll have to put up with it. Tsk, what a creep.”
The other extras warming themselves by the fire each tossed in their two cents.
I couldn’t agree more.
Today’s victim was the newbie dressed as a shaman.
She stood with her head bowed, looking crushed, while the stocky man roared loud enough to shake the set.
“Aish! No matter how many times I say it, it just doesn’t sink in! You’re useless and stupid!”
Team Leader Woo was on a roll again.
The newbie’s eyes welled with humiliated tears, but no one stepped in to stop him.
Me included.
This was the film set—ruthless to background actors.
“I’m sorry, Director. Let’s swap her out for someone else…”
“It’s fine. We’ll try again once she calms down. Get the ox handler ready.”
Team Leader Woo bowed a full ninety degrees to the PD, who looked at least ten years younger than him.
Other team leaders I’d met were decent enough. Why did this guy have to act like such a jerk?
“Hey! Get ready. Where’s Hye-young?”
“You sent her off earlier, remember?”
“Aish, every single one of you…”
Team Leader Woo came sprinting over and pointed Dong-wook and me toward the set.
By the way, you were the one who gave Hye-young that errand.
Of course, I kept that thought to myself.
He was the employer. One word from him and I’d be out of work for the day.
When someone’s paying, you smile and take it.
There weren’t many jobs that let you pull cash this fast.
Some families even did background work together.
Still, if the work was steady, it wasn’t a bad gig.
“You brainless idiot! How many times did I tell you to follow the camera path?”
“……”
Of course, that was assuming we didn’t have a team leader like this.
No wonder he’d been divorced twice.
“Let’s go.”
I followed Dong-wook toward the set.
Behind us, Team Leader Woo’s voice kept hammering the newbie. It was embarrassing just to hear.
No one spared her a glance.
The set was a cold place.
As long as it didn’t affect their own shots, no one cared if a mad dog roamed free.
I was one of those people, too.
Near the camera, a wooden ox cart and a wooden prison cart waited. The prison cart was for the lead actor playing a prisoner. A cushion peeked out from under the straw.
That cushion was stuffed with hot packs.
Apparently, the male lead refused to sit somewhere cold.
My seat, on the other hand, was bare, freezing wood.
God, my butt was already numb.
“The signal will come from over there. The ox knows the way, so just sit tight. We’re rolling.”
“Moooooo—”
The bull let out a proud bellow, as if to say we could trust him.
“Ready, action.”
The moment the assistant director lowered his hand, the ox started moving.
The cart lurched. I staggered.
I couldn’t be the reason for an NG!
I fought to keep my balance while looking calm…
“Cut.”
The PD shook his head at the monitor and raised his megaphone.
“Soo-bin, you were shaking too much.”
“Sorry.”
Whew.
So it wasn’t my fault after all.
Lee Sang-wook, the lead actor inside the cart on his fourth starring role, still got a warm reaction even after an NG.
Every time it happened, I felt a strange sense of deprivation.
The kind that came from the hierarchy on set.
Extras and newbies got screamed at for one or two mistakes and could even get fired, but not the leads.
“Ready, action.”
We reset the cart and started again.
This time I was ready and didn’t wobble.
“Cut.”
But the call didn’t come from the PD. It came from the camera director.
What now?
“Hey, extra.”
“Yes?”
The camera director pointed at me with a scowl. I flinched, and the scolding came flying.
“I told you not to break formation—”
“Not you. Behind you. Your thermal underwear is showing.”
He was pointing past me. I turned and saw Dong-wook. His long underwear was peeking out from under his clothes.
“Team Leader, didn’t I say the extras shouldn’t wear thermals on camera?”
“I’m sorry. I’ll have him change right away—”
“Forget it. We’ll shoot without him. Director Yang, we can go without that angle, right?”
Once the camera director gave the OK, the PD calmly walked back to the monitor.
Dong-wook trudged back to the fire pit, shoulders slumped.
Team Leader Woo followed him. I felt sorry for what was coming.
“Ready, action.”
Filming resumed.
The ox moved, and the shaking was worse than before. If the last take had been a sedan, this one felt like a truck.
But the PD was merciless. He’d swap out background actors in a heartbeat.
The mad dog was bad enough, but people like that PD scared me more.
If I got fired, I wouldn’t get paid!
I couldn’t let that happen.
“Great! Cut! Wow, Director Yang, this level of shaking won’t make people dizzy, right?”
“It’s acceptable.”
Huh? What was that supposed to mean?
Whatever. At least I was free from this damn cart.
Stupid ox. No—my poor butt. Thanks for holding up.
Just because my scene was done didn’t mean my work was over.
Background actors spent most of their time waiting. That was the real job.
Not that I minded.
A couple of quick scenes, then sit around until wrap. Easy money.
Some shady companies tried to skip waiting fees or meal allowances, but most places paid them.
If you worked until dawn, you could clear twenty or thirty thousand won. Not bad for the stamina required.
And it didn’t demand any real acting skill.
Most of the long waiting hours were spent chatting with Dong-wook.
Even when Team Leader Woo hurled insults at him, Dong-wook stayed cheerful.
Whether he was mentally strong or just thick-skinned, he was impressive in his own way.
“Ji-hyun, you really don’t want to try acting? I think you’d be good at it.”
“Not interested. If you don’t make it to the top, there’s no point.”
“Says the guy who keeps hanging around sets. You’re weird, Ji-hyun. You claim you don’t care about acting, yet you’re the most senior extra here.”
“It’s hard enough just making a living, hyung. How did that movie audition go? The one for Airless?”
“Why are you asking about that? I’ll go grab some bags.”
The dialect slip told me he’d been rejected again.
I’d told him to stop chasing dreams and take over his father’s business…
Dreams didn’t put food on the table. Poverty devoured people.
That was the truth I’d learned the year I turned twenty and got kicked out of the orphanage.
The world had been cruel to someone with no home and no money.
Actually, no.
The world had been merciful compared to my father.
At least work paid money.
—Ji-hyun, I’m thinking of auditioning again…
—I need money for profile photos…
My father was the worst person in my life.
When I first met him in my late teens, I’d been overjoyed. But after I became an adult, he became nothing but a parasite.
Every time we met, he found some excuse to squeeze money out of me.
Because of him, I’d gone through periods of homelessness and eating spoiled triangle kimbap.
Sigh.
He claimed he used to be an actor, but I’d never seen him in anything.
These days he was supposedly living off some widow in Sinchon.
Not my problem. I was just grateful he hadn’t contacted me in years.
I’d started doing background work because of him.
I’d been kicked out onto the streets and needed cash fast.
Later I learned that background acting was considered taboo for aspiring actors.
Whatever. It wasn’t so bad.
Better than living like my unknown actor father, who never got cast.
If you were a top star getting constant offers, maybe. But otherwise…
Years of scraping by had brought me to my thirties.
Still, I was managing.
“Brr, it’s cold.”
I wrapped my feet in plastic bags while fighting the chill.
Even with global warming, mountain winters were brutal.
If they wouldn’t even let you wear thermals, you needed plastic bags or you’d get frostbite.
Years of experience had taught me that.
“Aren’t you cold?”
I turned and saw the newbie who’d been getting yelled at earlier. She was shivering by the fire.
Her rubber shoes left her feet exposed and bright red. Her made-up face looked pale and blue.
Strangely, the shaman robe she wore suited her.
I pulled a plastic bag from my pocket and held it out.
“Put this on your feet.”
She just stared at the bag and then at me.
Was she too embarrassed to wear it?
“Wear it. Unless you want frostbite.”
A single plastic bag was precious on set. Treatment of extras was garbage, so you had to look after yourself.
She studied me for a moment, then carefully slipped the bag over her feet.
After a while, her expression softened.
“If you’re going to thank me, don’t bother. It’s just a bag—”
“You’ve ruined this life.”
Her sudden words made me blink.
Was it because of the shaman outfit? The atmosphere around her felt unsettling.
“Excuse me, what did you just say—”
“Accumulate virtue. Then you’ll receive great blessings in your next life.”
……
She was actually insane.
For the first time, I almost sympathized with Team Leader Woo.
Had she gotten possessed while playing a shaman?
“Filming’s starting—!”
At the assistant director’s shout, I bolted toward the set like I was escaping.
Thankfully, the crazy shaman girl didn’t follow.
This scene was a battle in an open field.
The sun was setting, so the PD wanted to hurry.
“Ready, act— What? Rain?”
Drops began falling from the overcast sky.
The forecast hadn’t mentioned rain. It quickly grew heavier, obscuring our view.
The directing team huddled for a meeting. After a long discussion, they revised the script.
The battle scene became a nighttime fight in a downpour.
“Action!”
So cold…!
While the leads and supporting actors swung their swords dramatically, we extras swallowed curses and collapsed on cue.
Whoosh—!
“Ghk!”
They should’ve hired an action school for this!
Cursing under my breath, I took Lee Sang-wook’s sword strike, spat blood, and fell backward.
The rain made my body tremble.
“Cut. Sang-wook, your action’s too slow. Like this, like this…”
Don’t NG, you lunatic!
Lee Sang-wook was practically tone-deaf when it came to action.
He usually did melodramas. This was his first action role. But seriously.
Hadn’t he gone to action school?
“Cut! Your swing’s too slow. Hey, extra—slower.”
“Cut! That one was too fast.”
“Hey! Watch your mark!”
Eventually the PD started yelling. Not at me, though.
Lee Sang-wook had started off apologizing, but now his swings were getting forceful.
Whoosh—!
His sword came down hard on my torso. This wasn’t a light, pulled shot. Real power was behind it.
But it would only hurt once.
Thud!
A sharp pain exploded in my chest. I spun dramatically, spraying blood.
The PD clapped, satisfied.
“Perfect! You should’ve done it like that from the start! All that practice paid off!”
Today, my mood was strangely foul.
No matter how I looked at it, it was thanks to me taking the hit.
“I know it’s because of you. But what can you expect from a set that lowballs action pay just to save money?”
Dong-wook tried to console me, but the irritation lingered.
It was odd. Normally I wouldn’t feel this way.
But seeing the leads hog all the praise while the directors protected them made me furious.
Because that lead couldn’t act, we’d done over thirty takes in the pouring rain.
—You’ve ruined this life.
The crazy girl’s words suddenly came back to me.
I grabbed Dong-wook.
“Hyung, have you seen that crazy girl?”
“Crazy girl? Who?”
“The newbie.”
“Newbie? Who? Was there a newbie today?”
It felt like I was under a spell.
Dong-wook kept asking if a newbie had even been there, but I brushed it off.
Filming didn’t wrap until past three in the morning.
I got paid well for the long hours, but I didn’t feel excited.
Normally I’d have been thrilled about filling my bank account.
By the time we reached Seoul, it was already five a.m.
I sprayed perfume to mask the smell clinging to me and caught the first subway.
But the musty odor wouldn’t go away. I squeezed into a corner while the other passengers shot me dirty looks.
After a long ride, I finally reached the end of Line 1.
As I headed down from the station, I spotted a drunk man sprawled across the tracks below.
What the hell was this first thing in the morning…
I reported it to the station staff.
But the next train was coming soon.
—Accumulate virtue. Then you’ll receive great blessings in your next life.
Forget next lives. I had to live well now!
Was she saying that since this life was ruined, I should worry about the next one?
“……I already reported it. I’ve done my part.”
The damn station staff still hadn’t shown up.
Yeah.
He looked like a homeless guy.
Why risk my life for some drunk who begged for a living?
I should just ignore it and go up…
Damn it!
Against my better judgment, I ran onto the tracks and started dragging the homeless man up.
“Mister! Hey! Mister!”
What the hell had this guy been eating? His body felt like it was made of iron.
“H-Hurry and grab him! Quick!”
The station staff rushed over and grabbed the man’s arms. I pushed from behind.
God, what was that smell?
I needed to get home and rest, not deal with this.
With both of us struggling, we managed to haul the man onto the platform.
“Haa, haa……”
“H-Hurry and get up! Quick!”
The staff member reached out urgently.
But I couldn’t take his hand.
VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR—!
Thud—!
A sudden impact sent my consciousness flying somewhere far away.
“Deok-su. Can you hear me? Deok-su.”
Ji-hyun opened his eyes with difficulty and felt disoriented.
The white ceiling and unfamiliar machine sounds were one thing, but the wrinkled-eyed woman leaning over him made no sense.
‘Dad’s girlfriend?’
Ji-hyun rejected the idea.
His father’s women had all been sharp-tongued and fierce. None of them had been gentle or maternal like this. Even if his father tried to charm them, women like that never fell for him.
“Ugh…… ugh……”
“It’s okay. Don’t force yourself to speak. Deok-su, you’ve been unconscious for a year. The doctor said it might be hard for you. Oh my…… sob……”
Strange medical staff, unfamiliar equipment, a middle-aged woman crying.
Feeling out of place, Ji-hyun looked around.
‘Since I got hit by a train…… is this a private room?’
He understood he was in a hospital, but the crying woman’s presence was a mystery.
She couldn’t be his mother.
His mother had died when he was young.
But the mystery was solved surprisingly easily.
‘W-What…… what is this!?’
Ji-hyun’s eyes widened when he saw a small mirror beside the bed.
Reflected in it wasn’t the tall, sturdy Yu Ji-hyun.
Instead, there was a pale, sharp-jawed pretty boy.
—……Kim Deok-su is so handsome. Heh heh heh.
—Wipe your drool first.
In the corner of the hospital room, besides Ji-hyun and the medical staff, there were others.
Figures wearing black robes and traditional hats.
Grim reapers.
The junior reaper stared blankly at Ji-hyun, who was confused by his reflection, while the senior reaper clicked his tongue.
The living and the dead were the same when it came to being captivated by a face.
—Senior, didn’t Yu Ji-hyun have over a hundred years left?
—That’s right. Why?
—It’s just…… I’m worried. He’s not particularly smart, lucky, or talented. If this messes up the law of causality……
The junior reaper looked at Ji-hyun with concern, like an older sister.
The senior reaper snorted.
—……Causality, my ass. It’s because of his face, isn’t it?
—N-No, of course not. Obviously……
—Attention.
The junior reaper snapped to attention under the scolding.
Having silenced his junior with sheer seniority, the senior reaper turned to the confused Ji-hyun.
—……He’ll have to live as Kim Deok-su no matter what. We should at least balance the causality.
Click.
The senior reaper flicked his finger at Ji-hyun while clicking his tongue. A bright light began to radiate from Ji-hyun’s body.
But the people in the room didn’t seem to notice the light and continued with their tasks.
After a moment, the light faded. The senior reaper smiled in satisfaction.
The junior reaper, however, looked anxious.
—S-Senior, what did you just do……
—Nothing much. It’s just compensation for the damage. He sacrificed his life to save someone, so he deserves at least this much…… Why are you looking at me like that?
—Hmm…… The law of causality……
—Are you talking back to your senior? Attention.
The junior reaper received another scolding and made a sulky face.
But no one in the hospital room could see the two figures in black robes.
Not until they disappeared into the ground.