Not Even to You
Sugar was making a face.
Why was she making a face? She had safely returned to Stille on Monday after going out over the weekend, so why the face?
The answer could be found in the way she was covered in bandages on her neck.
The sight of walking about five steps away from Ryly, who always stuck to her like glue, provided the answer.
“Hey guys! I had a good time… did you guys fight?”
Ian greeted her cheerfully but immediately changed her words.
“We didn’t fight.”
“But why are you walking apart…? Wait, no. Hey, Sugar, your neck… why the thigh…”
Ian’s cheeks turned bright red. Even though it was covered with bandages, it made the situation far more obvious. It was like advertising “I put this on because I needed to cover something.”
The thigh was wrapped in bandages. Stockings were layered over it, but the texture was clearly different from skin and impossible to miss.
Of course, it was wrapped because of the wound. But given the placement, Ian’s misunderstanding was accelerated.
“Wait, wait. Hold on. You guys… no way…”
Dozens of simulations flashed through her mind. It was exactly the kind of situation that appeared in adult romance novels.
“Got it! Got it! They went out on a trip—!”
“Calm down, calm down! Lower your voice! Nothing like that happened!”
Sugar covered Ian’s mouth with her hand. Ryly watched the scene with his arms crossed.
“No! But why on the neck…! Why the thigh…!”
“The thigh is wrapped because it was scratched somewhere. The neck… does it show?”
“It doesn’t!”
This time Sugar’s cheeks flushed. She rubbed her neck, let out an “ow!” in annoyance, and stomped her foot.
The ground cracked.
“Hah… Ian-nim. Don’t call me lewd Sugar from now on. Give that title to that blonde guy.”
“Wait, hold on… If you didn’t go that far… then you didn’t get punished for being naughty?”
Ian was the type who observed the relationship and situation well while saying “no lewd stuff!” and peeking through her fingers.
Recalling memories, usually Sugar would act up and Ryly would punish her.
“Ian-nim… saying that makes me really upset. I only told you what was in my heart that day. But if something didn’t work out… suddenly…”
Sugar recalled that day and lowered her head. Ah… ah. Embarrassed, she closed her mouth tightly and stammered.
The sight of her acting shy and giving off a messy vibe was cute even to others. It felt like her heart was pricking and echoing.
No, but I should scold her.
“Ryly. Come here.”
Ian spoke sternly with the force of Tianzi-nim, so Ryly came obediently.
“Why did you make Sugar like this?”
Ryly looked down at Sugar from above and spoke in a very womanly tone.
“Because she’s the most precious friend.”
“…”
No rebuttal came to mind.
The most precious friend-lover… well, it was possible. Since it was outside school, it didn’t matter, right?
Ian had been watching the two of them cling tightly every day at school and had grown used to it. Her line had been raised a lot. Of course, since they hadn’t married, it was a bit bothersome, but according to Sugar, ‘there was no such thing’.
“Well then…”
Ian, who believed it, easily backed down, so Sugar jumped up.
“What kind of thing is that! Hey, Ryly! Then me too! Me too, I can do that to you too?”
“Yeah.”
“What?”
“Do it. It’s okay to do it.”
Ryly approached to hug Sugar. Sugar hid behind Ian in surprise. She was trembling and breathing heavily, looking dangerous.
“H-h, there’s no way…”
Even in the midst of that, with rejection in her voice, Ryly made a face.
Since yesterday, this man had been strangely dissatisfied. He just touched people and stared intently. So Sugar thought Am I not trustworthy…?
Is he acting like this because he can’t believe in the promise he made? So she revealed her heart again.
“E-even so… I’ll cherish you.”
“What are you saying.”
“Even though you do weird pranks, I’ll cherish you… Because you’re the one I give to. Because you’re the most precious in the world… To you, at least… I can give this much.”
“…”
In the middle of this subtle atmosphere, their eyes looking at each other slowly unfocused, and it seemed like they turned into a somewhat teary pink.
In between, Ian was going crazy.
“When you two are alone outside Stille, do that!”
***
Somehow the day ended.
Distance with Ryly. Today, she walked at least five steps apart.
When she met professors, they asked if they fought, or if they got cursed when they stuck together, or if they gave them shops because their conduct was proper, etc. She heard all sorts of things.
Today's Reward/Punishment Points: +35 points
She was happy but something didn’t add up.
Everyone didn’t pick on the neck. Since she had a scarf over the bandages, it was fine.
This was recommended by Ian. When Leon, who happened to meet her, scolded her “Aren’t you thinking of hiding it anymore?”, she obediently went to buy one. Since it was still spring, it should be fine if she set it for cold tolerance.
On that path, naturally Ryly followed.
While Sugar was choosing the scarf, he secretly put on a choker-like thing and then took the one she bought and carefully put it on her neck himself.
It was a bit strange, but anyway, she bought it well.
There's something strange about him.
From that night on, I don’t know why he’s like this.
Am I not trustworthy like him?
If that’s the case, it’s roughly understandable. Obsession. Obsession.
Looking at the mirror in the dorm bathroom, Sugar traced her neck and blushed.
She slowly stroked the red marks on her neck, and the heat from that night came to mind.
The night she was laid under Ryly and moaned “ah ah” from the sensation he gave, she wanted to die.
Tsk… embarrassing…
Is it because of the obsession? Or was it just a heavy prank? Or did the conquest desire as a man appear?
I once thought about it as a man with the same gender as Ryly, but I don’t know. Past life. How many years ago? It’s hazy.
In the meantime, I’ve been living as a woman, am living as a woman, and will continue to live as a woman. My awareness of gender is clear.
Even so, occasionally I think I’m not half and half?
It’s very unpleasant to think about dating a man.
Then who should date a man? While directly rebutting my own thoughts, when I apply it to myself, disgust rises.
This kind of self would never be able to marry. I never had the mind to begin with.
… But.
Sugar looked at the mirror. The traces left by the man are evident.
She immediately turned her eyes away.
At least to Ryly, she doesn’t feel disgust in the skinship he gives. She didn’t feel any such emotion that night either.
That’s why she turned her eyes away, embarrassed.
This is evidence that I cherish him that much. Why is it always embarrassing…
I decided to accept everything. I have to receive it.
Is this because of weak heart?
Somehow, my chest feels throbbing below it.
I unconsciously swept my waist, lower abdomen, and startled, pulling my hand away.
W-what am I doing!
Immediately turned on the cold water in the shower and pressed my head against the wall. Chase away the brooding. Throw away the stray thoughts.
I pretended not to mind that I was envious of the small hands different from others.
.
.
.
Similar time. Underground of the men’s dorm.
Ryly finished showering in the white marble public bath and is dressing.
His brows had clear wrinkles.
-I’ll become strong enough that someday you won’t be there.
-I’ll get rid of the weak heart that relies on you.
A deep sigh came out.
When I heard that sound that day, it felt like something cut off. Even though I knew I shouldn’t touch it, I did.
The nonsense annoyed me. I wanted to shake my head so I couldn’t have strange thoughts. Actually, it was quite successful.
I wanted to rely on him more. The actions Sugar did when she came to Stille? It wasn’t particularly bothersome. It was just that graduation was worrying. As long as I maintain a certain line, it’s okay to be pampered.
Suddenly, the appearance from yesterday came to mind. The way she was lying underneath and crying cutely. Every time I touched her waist, she trembled and didn’t know what to do, just shouting “Ryly, Ryly-” in a voice. When she bit her lip, her eyes looked like she was expecting without any resistance.
Despite that.
Rely on me more, obsess, like, blindly—
“Haa…”
He shook his head. Because he held back so much, his desires are frustrated, so all sorts of thoughts come to mind.
No matter how much I block the physical reaction, I can’t control the mind either. With my unique mental strength, I endure somehow, but I don’t know how long it will last.
Ryly soon packed his things. He should go back to the dorm room and meditate.
At that moment, someone naturally approached and stood beside him. Glancing, it’s a man with black hair.
“…”
He turned his head pretending not to see, so the other side spoke first.
“Ryly-ssi.”
“Why ssi. Just call me by name.”
“That would be burdensome for me.”
“Do as you like. But what.”
“I have something I want to ask a little.”
He answered with silence. It means it’s okay to ask. Leon, who sensed it, opened his mouth.
Why is he hesitating so much?
As Ryly thought in his heart, indeed, a question that was worth hesitating came out.
“Does Ian-nim like men?”
Ryly silently packed and hurriedly left the place.
“Wait! Don’t misunderstand! I didn’t say that!”
The frustration accumulated over the weekend without Sugar and Ryly exploded from Leon’s mouth.