That Man, That Woman
"Where is Ian?"
"Don't know."
"Weren't the two of you always together?"
"If that's the case, you'd know better than I would. You're the one who shares a room with him."
From Leon's perspective, Ryly was the most normal person among the Holy City trio. Compared to Ian, whose sense of personal space was utterly broken, or Sugar, who was unhinged in ways Leon couldn't quite pin down, Ryly was merely prickly — and hopelessly clingy with his girlfriend.
That didn't mean Leon harbored no wariness toward him at all. Perhaps it was the lingering aftermath of the dream, but now and then a chilling thought would flicker through his mind.
What if even that is an act?
It was the kind of suspicion that left both the one thinking it and anyone who might hear it feeling unclean. That was how deeply the betrayal in the dream — that experience — had carved itself into Leon. Though "betrayal" wasn't even the right word. From the very beginning, he hadn't possessed so much as a scrap of friendship or camaraderie.
He was turning these thoughts over as they walked when a white-haired woman came into view in the distance. Leon immediately glanced at Ryly's face. The look in his eyes was nothing like usual. Affection dripped from them, thick and unmistakable.
Leon shook his head. What kind of idiotic suspicion was he entertaining? There was no way that could be an act.
A man who poured that much love into one woman, committing betrayal? Betrayal?
Leon offered a silent apology to Ryly and sneered at his own foolishness.
At the same time, another woman drifted into his field of vision. A hood covered her face, so he couldn't tell who she was. And yet his gaze was drawn, unbidden, to her... upper body.
Leon was ordinarily a diligent, earnest sort — but a man's instincts were not so easily overruled. He was staring, dazed, at a size that could only be described as shocking, when it happened.
The woman's footsteps tangled. She quite literally tripped over her own feet and started to fall.
Leon, who had already been watching her, bolted forward in a panic. His body moved before his mind could catch up.
But the woman before him, apparently badly startled by the situation, flailed far more wildly than he'd expected.
The instant he thought ah, his vision went dark and he toppled backward.
Thud.
The back of his head hurt. The pain was one thing, but breathing was hard. No — beyond hard. He couldn't breathe at all. Something soft had sealed over his nose and mouth completely, covering his face without leaving so much as a sliver of a gap.
C... can't breathe...
His head was ringing too badly for thought to function properly. The cutoff of oxygen wasn't helping.
Leon reached out and groped at whatever was covering his face. Soon his fingers found something that went beyond plush — something yielding and squishy. It was a rather fascinating texture.
"Hngh...!"
Hngh? What kind of sound was that. Anyway, he had to get this off. He couldn't breathe in this state. The heavy thing pressing down on him trembled, asserting its presence — first he needed to move it...
Wait... come to think of it. Didn't I just collide with that woman...?
He reasoned it out with an oxygen-starved brain.
His hands, however, did not stop. He kneaded freely at a texture that threatened to become addictive. That soft thing was truly generous — it swallowed his fingers as if to embrace them, offering no resistance at all. Each time he squeezed, the sensation of being softly enveloped filled him with satisfaction.
"Ah, nnh...! Stop...!"
Whatever was covering even his ears made it hard to hear, but every time he gripped and stroked and kneaded, a sweet sound seemed to reach him.
...I'm almost at my limit...
His head spun.
Just as his consciousness began to fade, he felt light. Whatever had been covering his face seemed to have lifted away.
As his breathing recovered and he gasped — hah, hah — a fresh, living floral fragrance flooded his lungs.
He cracked his eyes open and saw the woman from before. And he saw the true identity of that something as well.
The mass of flesh he had been groping blindly, without even knowing what it was.
A mystery he wanted to touch a little more, to explore a little further.
A woman's breasts.
...! I-I have to apologize...!
Leon snapped back to his senses and hurriedly pushed himself up.
And then, from an impact that struck the back of his head out of nowhere, he crumpled right back down.
In his receding consciousness, Leon turned over the sensation still lingering in his hands and thought:
Ah... thank goodness...
I like women's breasts...
Thank goodness...
A double room in the men's dormitory.
One room in particular. The shower of the room shared by the Chunja and the bearer of the Holy Staff.
From within, where the sound of running water came in a continuous rush, a long, sinking groan mixed in. Nnnghhhhh—
"Aaaaaah..."
Normally, the ones screaming like this were Sugar or Leon. A new member had just been added to that chorus of shrieks.
"Aaaah... what do I do... what do I do..."
They got touched.
These stupidly huge things got grabbed all over.
What about marriage? She had a body that needed to stay pure — what was she supposed to do?
Ian muttered under her breath, then sighed. She sighed, then screamed. She screamed, then prayed. She ran through the entire emotional gauntlet in that shower stall.
If she'd been touched while crossdressing, it would have been fine. Not that there would have been anything to grab then, but at least it would have been "just between guys," so it wouldn't have mattered.
Ian's mind drifted back to what Sugar had said.
...This is an accident. An accident. Don't think about anything — just go take care of yourself.
It had been Sugar who put an end to the situation.
She had pulled a too-stunned-to-stand Ian up onto her feet, then knocked out Leon the moment he came to his senses.
After that, she and Ryly had dragged Leon off somewhere.
Ian had hidden her chest in the bathroom at once and returned to the room, where she headed straight for the shower.
Because she'd been t-touched. She n-needed to wash.
"Nngh..."
She looked down at her chest as she washed. They were so large they hid her lower body from view. To see her own feet, she had to push the flesh aside or press it down.
S-something like this... would just feel unpleasant, right...
There was such a thing as too big. She knew from romance novels that men liked a woman's breasts, but even that had its limits, didn't it? She remembered Sugar insisting that bigger was always better, but that girl was a girl. She'd probably just been saying it so Ian wouldn't feel bad.
The tips were even buried in the flesh. I-it was too ugly.
"..."
Ian brought her hands to her chest. When she pressed with her fingers, they sank right in. She tried pressing like that, then cupped them with her whole palms and squeezed.
As she toyed with them, discontent simmering under the surface, Leon's hand movements from earlier rose unbidden in her mind. He must not have known what he was doing. Leon wasn't the sort of rude molester who would grope a stranger's chest on first sight.
B-but still. To just grab them so wildly... how could he...
With hands larger than Ian's, pressing into the flesh. So unlike the reserved, carefully polite way he usually carried himself — bold, unrestrained movements meant purely to satisfy his curiosity.
The image of Leon she had built up until now shifted, just a little. It wasn't disappointment. It was simply that one single fact had landed with absolute, undeniable clarity.
Leon was a man.
A man.
"Ah... nnh..."
She had been touched by a man. Touched by those large hands.
It was a completely different dimension from when Sugar touched her. Unlike Sugar, who breathed softly in and out like a sleeping baby, Leon had been panting — hot, rough breaths. Being smothered had played a part in that, of course.
Just thinking about it, she felt the blood rushing. Not only to her head, but all the way to the tips of her breasts.
An accident...! Like Sugar said, it was an accident!
Ian recited prayers to wipe the stray thoughts away.
And yet, even as she did, a new worry crept in through the cracks.
What if he was disgusted...?
Her distress shifted, quite naturally, from I got groped, this is a disaster to Leon must have been disgusted, there's no doubt about it.
.
.
.
"Ah, Ian."
Hahk. The moment she opened the shower door, Ian swallowed her breath.
She had put on her bandages inside and gotten dressed as well, so there would be no repeat of the last unfortunate incident. Even so, still reeling from what had happened earlier, she hid behind the door with her eyes gone wide as a rabbit's.
"Did the physical exam go well? I didn't see you at the infirmary."
"Ah... yeah... I, uh, I did it separately..."
"I see."
Leon sat down on the bed, rubbing the back of his head over and over.
"You washed quickly, I see. What about dinner? Shall we eat together?"
Ordinarily, it was always Ian who proposed meals. Today, of all days, he was being unusually warm. His expression even seemed brighter. Not quite grinning, but a good deal lighter than his usual haggard look.
"Ah, um... yeah. L-let's all eat. We can call the others too..."
"Understood."
He even lifted the corners of his mouth, just slightly, as he answered.
A rare smile. Ian felt her heart lurch.
What... why so suddenly... did he figure out it was me...?
W-was he mocking her? No. Leon wasn't that kind of person.
Separate from the thought that his smile was attractive, worry tightened in her chest.
"Then let's go quickly. The other two should still be outside."
Leon opened the bathroom door and pulled Ian along. He set his hand on her slender shoulder as naturally as breathing and led her forward. A buddy-buddy arm around the shoulder. Ian let out an eep—, but he thought nothing of it.
There was only one thought in his head.
I like women. I like women. I like women—
The moment he realized he had touched a woman's breasts, guilt had hit him — and at the same time, his body had reacted, just a little.
He had lost consciousness right after, but the fact itself did not change.
When he opened his eyes again, he had been in an infirmary bed. Sugar and Ryly had been standing around him with awkward expressions, but those two were always strange, so he hadn't thought much of that either.
"Everyone, what on earth is..."
"You. You suddenly passed out. The shock must've been pretty bad."
"What? I was sure I got hit in the back of the head."
"What are you talking about. Anyway... you're awake, so we're leaving. We'll pretend we didn't see anything today."
"W-wait. Do you know anything about that woman from earlier? I have to apologize..."
"...Don't know."
"I see..."
It didn't matter.
He would find that girl and apologize. He would buy her a gift, too. She was a benefactor of his life.
How shameless could he be, taking joy in having groped a stranger's breasts. He felt so guilty, so sorry. He was disgusted by his own filthy self, buried under the weight of it.
And yet it was also true that he had spent a long time agonizing over his own preferences.
Thanks to this, he could throw that anguish away. He could accept every last one of Ian's gestures as nothing more than warmth toward a friend. Accepting it that way, he really did feel as though they had become true friends — which was why he had even tried the arm around the shoulder.
His eyes kept drifting to Ian's flushed, translucent skin, still warm from the shower.
And there was a lovely scent, too. A fresh floral fragrance that made him a little tense — but wait. This scent. Earlier, he was certain...
...Must use the same body wash.
Leon exhaled and decided to put his mind at ease.
"Ian, there's something I'd like to ask your advice on. Would that be all right?"
"...What is it?"
"When you need to apologize to a woman, what sort of gift would be appropriate? Today I... committed an offense against a young lady that I can barely bring myself to put into words. Since you've spent so much time with Sugar in the Holy City, I thought you might know..."
"..."
"Ian? Your face has gone terribly red. Are you all right?"
"Just... just leave it... please..."
"Pardon?"
"I said just leave it..."
"What do you mean. Even so... this is something I absolutely must apologize for."
"..."
Ian wordlessly pulled a teary face.