Chapter 1
Chapter 1
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: Entrance Ceremony?
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[...This game is trash, but it's an insanely arousing erotic game. I mean, what does an erotic game even need in terms of gameplay? If it gets you off, that's all that matters. But that's exactly why it pisses me off so much. The sex scenes are made ridiculously hot. The female characters are perverts without any logic behind it, but hey, it's an erotic game and they're hot, so it's fine. But fuck, the protagonist is just on the level of a chimpanzee. And the story—if you can't write a story, just slap something half-assed together. The sex scenes are super arousing, but getting to them feels like trudging through a massive tumor. And the protagonist Lee Ho-yeon is...]
"Hoo."
After finishing my game review post—a hobby I'd been doing for ages—I stretched to relieve my stiff body.
What started as a hobby turned into a job before I knew it.
Sometimes I even get ads, and the income's decent.
The initial passion had long faded.
I'd realized that even the most beloved work turns sour once it becomes your job.
But every now and then, a game reignites that old fire—and the one I'd reviewed today was one of those.
"This game really fucking pisses me off."
I'd thought, 'Finally, a masterpiece from Korea that makes your balls clap like seals!' But playing it made me want to puke.
The sex scenes were hot, sure, but you had to slog through shitty RPG gameplay for over three hours just for one.
A bit later, comments agreeing with my review started pouring in.
Yeah, I think so too. The gameplay is total garbage. Still gets you hard though, lol.
Right? Even Buddha himself would have to agree.
But one comment caught my eye.
— god6974 What bullshit lol. You think you'd do any better as the protagonist? To me, this game's saved by its story. Normally, I wouldn't bother replying to low-level aggro like that, but I was so pissed at the devs who ruined these hot heroines that I fired back on impulse.
↳ If I were the protagonist, no bullshit—I'd fuck every single girl in the game.
— god6974 What are you on about lol. Wanna bet? ↳ Bet? What the hell would we even bet, you punk. Go develop your own game.
The reply came instantly, like he'd been waiting. Total attention whore.
I blocked him so he couldn't reply anymore, then collapsed into bed, exhausted.
Better to think about tomorrow's review for max views than waste energy on that loser.
Ding!
What the hell at this hour?
I had no friends to chat with on KakaoTalk anyway—ads all blocked—so family was the only possibility.
[Bet or not? Decide quick] Sender: [god6974]
Who the hell is this...?
Then it hit me—the same username as that aggro troll from my review.
That retard from earlier has the exact same nick?
No friends meant no prank adds. Family's on my list, but they don't even know I review erotic games.
[god6974: Ignore me one more time and you're done for] Kim Jin-ho: [Who are you? Keep messing around and I'll report you.]
Of course, I'd report to cyber police regardless.
Not that it'd lead to much punishment, but while I pondered, a reply came.
[god6974: I'm saying let's bet. Think you can do better than the protagonist?] Kim Jin-ho: [Bet whatever, do what you want. Reporting to cyber police.]
I was a bit scared at first, but seeing his bullshit made the tension melt away.
How immersed do you have to be to harass a random game reviewer like this? Tsk tsk.
A glimpse of Korea's dark future. No point replying anymore—I blocked him cold.
Actually, trolls like him latching on means I'm getting famous. Kinda good.
Gotta report to cyber police first thing tomorrow.
I turned off my phone, set it by the bed, closed my eyes, and drifted off thinking about tomorrow's game.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "...Excuse me? Hello?"
Poke poke.
Fuck, who is it? I'm sleeping fine, why poke me?
"Um, you can't sleep right now..."
I'm telling you I'm sleeping, mind your own—huh?
I'd fallen asleep in my studio apartment, but some girl was waking me up.
My mind snapped awake.
A cute girl student I swore I'd seen before was staring at me weirdly.
"Who sleeps during the entrance ceremony? Too nervous to sleep last night?"
Entrance ceremony?
I quickly scanned around. A massive auditorium filled with uniformed students—even the second and third balconies were packed.
Nearby kids were glaring at me.
Up front: [32nd Victoria Academy Entrance Ceremony] blazoned large—not written, but the words floating in the air.
"What the fuck..."
Some hidden camera prank? Woke up kidnapped from my room to this strange hall?
But this place gave me a powerful sense of déjà vu.
Last night's memory. That keyboard warrior otaku I'd argued with. The guy super proud of Sex Academy somehow messaged me privately, talking bets and shit...
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [Next up: Speech and oath from the freshman representative.] "..."
I glanced down.
A disposable name tag on my right chest: 'Lee Ho-yeon'.
Whoa.
Sex Academy's Victoria Academy entrance ceremony, protagonist's name 'Lee Ho-yeon', familiar cadet uniforms, year badges, etc...
Looks like I'd become the protagonist of Sex Academy.
This is ridiculous.
Looking around, familiar faces: heroines Lumi, Lucy, Elise, Nam Da-eun, etc. All Sex Academy characters.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [Freshman representative, please come to the podium.] Whether I was stunned or not, the ceremony continued.
A girl waiting below the podium climbed up.
Her unbound blonde hair swayed, snow-white skin like her eyes, confident gaze brimming with strong pride.
Breasts jiggling with each step up the stairs, firm ass protruding—perfect side profile.
"What? The top scorer's a foreigner?"
"Daughter of some huge foreign guild master. Perfect score on the written exam, they say."
"Wow, pretty girls are good at studying too."
Murmurs erupted as the rep moved.
Freshman rep 'Elise'—daughter of a French mega-guild leader, one of Sex Academy's heroines.
On stage, she began reading her speech.
"Hello, freshmen and parents gathered here today..."
Nothing important.
"Oath!"
I wanted to bolt and figure this out, but no clue what'd happen, so I watched the ceremony.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ [This concludes the 32nd Victoria Academy Entrance Ceremony. Thank you all for making it shine.] After, students scattered with parents or friends.
I looked around, then hurried to the dorms.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ I scanned my smartwatch-linked dorm key at the entrance and went in.
The dorm was plenty bigger than my old studio.
Hung my outer clothes on a chair, sat on the crisp white bed.
"Now what?"
Pulled my cheeks, pinched my ears—hurt like hell, no waking up.
Full mirror in the corner: undeniable Sex Academy protagonist 'Lee Ho-yeon' staring back.
"..."
I mentally chanted 'Status Window'.
⚔ STATUS ⚔ ⚡ Strength: 34 💨 Agility: 30 ✨ Magic Power: 36 💪 Stamina: 35 🍀 Luck: ??? 🛡️ Endurance: 34 Unique Ability: Combat Sense Skills: None ???: ??? Whoa! Status window!
[Combat Sense] is protagonist Lee Ho-yeon's unique ability. No more denying it.
I'd possessed an erotic game protagonist.
"Hmm..."
But... isn't this a win?
Protagonist means handsome face. Plus [Combat Sense] is top-tier in the story.
Seems like no losses compared to my old life.
Ding-
Vibration on my left wrist—checked the smartwatch.
[Cadet Lee Ho-yeon assigned to A-Class. Report to 1st Year Building A-Class by 9 AM tomorrow.] Class assignment notice. Same as original: A-Class, packed with main characters. Mostly girls, as expected for an erotic game.
"Shower first, think later."
Hung up the cadet uniform, showered quick in the bathroom, changed into Lee Ho-yeon's casuals on the stand rack.
Dried my hair with a towel pat-pat as I stepped out.
"Huh?"
A new envelope on the desk.
Wasn't there before the shower?
Picked it up—blank white envelope, sealed tight. No writing.
"Must've missed it."
Probably dorm rules or welcome note. Was distracted earlier.
Grabbed the top and tore it open.
Then, light and letters poured from the envelope, aligning before my eyes.