A Desperate Bargain
"Yeah." Terria stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me. His agreement came so easily it left me feeling utterly deflated. I'd expected him to at least think it over before answering. Still, just in case, I pressed on.
"...Do you even know what that means right now?"
"Of course I do."
"What is it, then?"
"You're saying let's have sex."
Terria didn't so much as blink. How can he say it like that? So casually, like it's no big deal? No way. Sex isn't some simple thing like grabbing a bite to eat. It's not a topic you just throw out there lightly.
I had a gut feeling this was going to be anything but easy. Something in him was broken.
"And you're still going?"
"What's the problem?"
"The problem? You call that a problem?"
"Beats me. I don't get why you're making such a fuss. Shouldn't you be grateful instead?"
"What...?"
I stared at him in shock. Grateful? For him going off to have sex in my body? What the hell was there to be grateful for?
"You didn't even ask, and here I am offering to play Ariel for you, right?"
"Play? That wasn't acting. I've never treated Clechia like that for real. And what was with earlier today? When did I ever ask you to be nice to her? I've never made a request like that."
"Sure, I know that. But here's the thing—you couldn't treat Clechia well, even if you tried. Ariel can't lie. You couldn't fake loving your fiancée."
We locked eyes, glaring at each other. The room wasn't brightly lit, but Terria's reddish-brown eyes burned clear and sharp.
Terria kept going. "That's why I'm stepping in. I'll make sure Clechia falls completely for Ariel. Your fiancée will hang on her every word like putty in her hands. Shouldn't you be thanking me for that?"
His tone was rock-solid. For a split second, I almost caught myself wondering if I should be grateful—his words, his expression, his gestures were like a master agitator brainwashing a crowd in the town square. I'd seen it a few times before, so I didn't let my guard down. But I never wished for Clechia to love me. Deceiving her with lies brought me no joy. Lies are wrong from the start. What good are gains built on that? And what did he get out of it anyway? He had to have some other motive.
"When did I ever ask for that? For her to fall head over heels for me? You think I'd want that? You're doing this on purpose. What's your real goal here?"
"My goal... A goal, huh."
Terria took a sip of water. My head was spinning from too many thoughts. I needed to simplify this.
Clechia hated Terria, and Terria hated Clechia right back. Was this revenge? No. From what I'd seen, Terria didn't care about revenge. He wasn't driven by petty emotions like that.
Then a chilling thought hit me. The whole conversation started with sex. He still hadn't explained why he was so set on going through with it.
I asked half in doubt, half in dread. "You... you're not saying you want to sleep with Clechia or something, are you...?"
"Eh, it's not like I'd hate it."
His answer dragged up thoughts I'd buried deep, making my lips tremble. No way. How far has he gone with 'my' body?）
"No way... You didn't... masturbate too, did you...?"
"A few days ago. Got curious and tried it. Felt totally different from when I was a girl."
"Sex... what about sex? You haven't had sex, right...?"
"Not yet."
Terria said it so nonchalantly, like it was nothing. But that was the last thing I wanted to hear. My mind flooded with unwanted images. Him alone in the cabin, gripping my cock, stroking away. Semen spurting out in milky ropes at the end. His face flushed red, wiping the messy dick with tissue.
A wave of nausea hit me; I clamped my hand over my mouth to stifle it.
"You're insane, you pervert... This is too far... Even if you stole my body, this is crossing a line...!"
"Hah, what's the big deal? You've had sex with Clechia before—I know that. And it wasn't even because you loved her. So what's wrong with it? You don't love her anyway, so what I do shouldn't matter. Unless... have your feelings changed? Do you love her now?"
His brazen words finally ignited my rage. This wasn't about love. It was about sex, about control over one's own body. My lips quivered; I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I screamed at him where he sat on the bed.
"Love's got nothing to do with it! That's not the point! Don't you get how wrong it is for you to use my body however you want? Even if you stole it, jerking off is a whole different thing! It's not like eating, showering, talking to people, or living day-to-day. Sex is different!"
"How?"
"You seriously asking? It's disgusting. Who are you to have sex looking like Ariel? Who are you to toy with Ariel's sexuality? You have no right. Even if you took my body, you have no right! That's rape. Stealing my sex life is rape...!"
"Then you should be relieved. At least I'm not screwing just any random girl."
"What...?"
Terria's mindset was worlds apart from mine. Or maybe we were talking past each other entirely. I tried to understand him, even a little. He'd lived as a slave for three years. If you'd spent that long at the bottom of the hierarchy, where sex was just another commodity, maybe you'd think like that. Maybe sex could become casual.
But no. Before slavery, he'd lived 17 years as royalty. That wasn't something that crumbled easily.
"You're crazy... You're not serious... If you really mean that, then you're... "
"Aren't you overreacting?"
"Overreacting? Would you be fine if I went and spread my legs for any guy? It's your body too, right? Wouldn't that bother you?"
"...I wouldn't care."
Terria's voice trembled just a little as he said it. Yeah, right. Like you wouldn't care. Twenty years of life—you can't just toss that away. Not after twenty years.
I seized the moment. "Don't lie! How could you not care?!"
"If you, in that body, went and had sex with someone. I wouldn't care."
But Terria's voice hardened with resolve. It hit me then—he really was broken somewhere deep down. This wasn't an act anymore. Everything he did, he did because he wanted to.
"You... you've lost all sense that this is your body now, haven't you...? Is it really that easy? Those twenty years as Terria mean nothing to you? Something you can just discard in an instant?"
"Yeah, you could say that."
"...Not for me. I couldn't. I could never throw away the life I've lived. Never."
"......"
Terria crossed his arms, like he had nothing left to say. I could feel his sincerity in that gesture. He was dead serious about going to Clechia's room.
"...Don't go. If you do..."
"And what will you do if I go? What can you offer to make me stay?"
"You shameless bastard... Is this something you negotiate over...? Am I a whore? Is my body a bargaining chip?!"
"Come on. You've felt it too, every time I touched your chest."
Terria wasn't budging an inch. I was sobbing now, my words choking out.
"That's... that's different... You did that on your own. I've never messed with your body... Never had sex, never even masturbated... Never even thought about it..."
"Sorry, but I have."
Persuasion was hopeless. Our argument ran parallel, no give on either side. To stop him, I needed something else. Whether I should or not didn't matter anymore. He was going to do it, and I had to stop him.
The debate had only hardened our positions. I'd thought it through endlessly from the wrong side, and now surrender wasn't an option.
I said the words I never should have. "I'll... I'll do it... If you're gonna do it, do it with me instead."
Terria's eyes went wide, like he hadn't seen that coming. Then he burst into mad, gleeful laughter.
"Ahaha! Haha! Ahahahaha! Now that's more like it."
His laughter filled the room. I trembled in fear.
"You're crazy... You're a real lunatic..."
"You made me this way. So, what exactly are you gonna do?"
Terria kept laughing hysterically. I stared at him, utterly defeated. I loathed him. But in this powerless position, all I felt was endless helplessness.
In my wretched despair, forcing out a voice that wouldn't come, I whispered, "......With my mouth... I'll do it with my mouth..."