A Glimpse of the Past (3)
Winter. The final class of the year was a group project. The method was simple: based on the theories learned over the past year, we were to determine a magic formula and present it. Naturally, the group members were assigned at random.
Eline took a slow, deep breath.
“…”
This wasn't her first time working on a collaborative project. She remembered doing it twice before, once in the spring and once in the autumn. The method had always been the same: Eline took command, and the others followed without a word.
Given her reputation, everything proceeded smoothly without anyone daring to raise an objection. The results were always excellent, and since there were never any complaints, group projects had been nothing more than a chore she had to get through.
But today, for some reason, she felt unnecessarily nervous.
No…
Even as she tried to shake the thought away, her heart kept beating half a step faster than usual. She tried to dismiss it, telling herself it was just because of the winter chill.
Eline, wrapped in a scarf, walked quickly through the academy corridor, which offered a view of the snow-covered landscape. Passing several lecture halls, she arrived at a hallway lined with small reception rooms.
As she reached the room marked '4-B'—her assigned group—she could hear the muffled sounds of other students already gathered inside.
“…I can’t believe I’m in the same group as Eline. I’m so nervous.”
“Don’t worry. I heard that as long as you just follow what Eline says, it’s a guaranteed success.”
“Still, I’m nervous. I’ve never even spoken to her before.”
The voices drifted through the door—voices directed at her. Some were worried, others fearful, and some filled with admiration.
Eline closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and slowly pushed the door open. The warmth from inside the room seemed to seep into her body.
“Oh.”
“She’s here.”
The students, who had been chatting in a relaxed atmosphere just a moment ago, fell silent the instant they saw Eline, their gazes turning toward her.
“…”
The center seat at the desk was empty. It was as if that seat had been reserved for her from the start. When Eline glanced at them, they simply waved awkwardly. She sat in the remaining seat and began to meet their eyes, one by one.
Faces she had seen at least once. But people whose names she only barely knew, or didn't know at all. No one stood out in her memory.
“Hello.”
At Eline’s stiff, businesslike greeting, it was as if a dam had broken; one by one, they began to speak.
“Nice to meet you, Eline. Looking forward to working with you.”
“We won’t be a burden, just leave it to us!”
“What should we start with?”
Eline nodded at their cooperative attitude and settled into her seat. They were not bad—in fact, they were good group members.
During the first project, someone had challenged her, and during the second, there had been a slacker. She hadn't volunteered to be the leader, but since things always ended up flowing under her direction, managing such members had been her burden.
But these members seemed to want to avoid friction with her, or perhaps they already understood her nature all too well; they were cooperative from the very start.
“...Am I the leader?”
“Yes!”
“Who else would do it if not you?”
At Eline’s cautious question, the rest of the group nodded in unison. Her gaze drifted to the empty chair at the very end.
“…Where is the last person?”
At those words, the other three flinched.
“Oh… right, where are they?”
“I don’t know. We’ve been here for a while…”
The atmosphere in the meeting room subtly dampened. The three students exchanged glances, treading carefully, clearly worried that they might have inadvertently displeased Eline. There were still five minutes left until the promised time. Eline decided to wait quietly.
Tap, tap, tap.
Eline’s ears perked up at the sound of running footsteps. The sound drew closer and stopped in front of the reception room. With the sound of heavy breathing, the door swung open.
“Sorry, I got held up by a professor.”
She shivered slightly as the cold air from the hallway rushed in, but she turned her head regardless. Standing there was the boy she had seen on the roster. The man who was now on his third meeting with her—or his second, from his perspective. It was Lutes.
“Hey! You’re late!”
“Is it okay to be late on the first day?”
The three students began to scold Lutes more than necessary, fearing they might have to deal with Eline’s displeasure, and the atmosphere in the room heated up in a different way.
“…Am I late?”
Lutes scratched his head, looking flustered by the unexpected criticism.
“We’ve been here for twenty minutes. Isn't that the standard?”
“No, who starts a meeting twenty minutes early…”
“Even Eline came ten minutes early!”
The silent pressure was clear: Even Eline came early, so who do you think you are to be late?
“18:58.”
Eline said, calmly checking her watch.
“The meeting starts at 19:00, so you aren't late.”
She then glanced back at Lutes.
“Please come earlier next time.”
“…Oh, yeah. Sorry.”
As their eyes met, Lutes flinched again and averted his gaze, as if he were wary of her.
…
There were others who would avoid her gaze when she looked at them. Was it because her unusually blue eyes were burdensome, or because they were afraid of her? She hadn't cared. Until now.
…Why do they keep avoiding my gaze?
It was a question she had for the first time, and at the same time, another emotion tickled a corner of her heart. If she had to define this indescribable sensation, would it be discomfort?
No…
It wasn't that kind of feeling. She shook her head lightly to clear her thoughts.
“Sit down. Let’s start the meeting.”
At Eline’s words, the atmosphere in the room cooled, and Lutes slunk into the empty seat at the far left. With Eline naturally taking the lead as the group leader, the final project of the first year began.
The group meeting, led by Eline, proceeded very quickly and without a hitch. Usually, the biggest hurdle in group meetings was the conflict that arose when coordinating opinions, but the presence of an overwhelming figure like Eline eliminated such conflicts entirely.
“Data collection is due by next week. The presentation is in two weeks, so please conduct research in your assigned fields.”
Naturally, the other students complied without a word, and Lutes was no exception.
“Let’s stop here for today.”
The first meeting ended smoothly without any major friction. As the students stood up, they each said their goodbyes to her before leaving.
Once the three students had filed out, only Eline and Lutes remained in the reception room. When she glanced over, Lutes stood up, bag in hand, as if he had finished packing.
‘…’
They had made eye contact occasionally during the meeting, but there had been no particular reaction. He had simply dodged her gaze or nodded in agreement. That was all. It was so dry and emotionless that she had thought the same, calmly organizing her materials.
Their eyes met once more. Lutes yawned, looking relieved that the tension had broken, but when he saw her looking at him, he gave an awkward bow. Eline bowed her head lightly in return. In the silent room, Lutes was the first to walk out.
Was it just a simple misunderstanding…
She had thought she wanted to talk to him, but now that they had met, no particular emotion had blossomed.
Thud-.
Something was placed in front of Eline. It was something shiny.
‘…?’
It was a cookie, carved into the shape of a coin, produced to commemorate the end of the year. It was chocolate.
As she slowly turned her head, she saw Lutes, who was avoiding her gaze.
And then.
“Good work, Eline.”
With those words, he hurried away.
…
“Yeah.”
Eline nodded calmly.
Rustle-.
She tore open the wrapper and put the chocolate in her mouth.
Crunch-.
She chewed. As the sweet yet bitter scent of chocolate spread through her mouth, her brain seemed to release serotonin, as if it were happy.
Eline.
It was sweet and delicious.
“…”
She carefully placed her hands on her cheeks. Perhaps it was because the heating was turned up high for the winter, but her cheeks felt hot, as if they were flushing red.
Good work, Eline.
He had only called her name. He had clearly only said it as a courtesy. She knew that. And yet, when he called her name, her heart began to beat half a beat faster. Why? How?
They had only met twice. They hadn't even had a proper conversation. Once, he couldn't even remember her, and the other time, it was just a short exchange in the dark. But Eline’s heart was beating faster than ever before.
Looking at the window where darkness had settled, she saw her own reflection. Her face was still expressionless and calm. But the faint flush on her cheeks betrayed her emotions.
As she stood up and walked lightly toward the window, white snow was falling outside. She placed her hand on the window quietly and faced her own reflection.
‘…’
It was a look on her own face she had never seen before. It would take a long time to figure out this feeling, but at least one thing was certain: her feelings for Lutes clearly existed. And she wanted to figure them out.
Time passed quickly. Two days remained until the presentation after the research was finished. Eline was sitting at the reception room desk, checking the presentation materials and organizing the final report.
Just as she was writing down the formulas under the flickering lamp light, accompanied by the scratching of her quill.
Knock, knock-.
She looked up at the sound of the knock.
Who would be coming at this hour…
It was an unexpected guest. Of course, she had told her group members they could come by the reception room if they needed to, but that was just a formality. She hadn't expected anyone to actually show up.
“Come in.”
She cleared her throat briefly, and the door swung open.
“Hi.”
She looked up at the familiar voice.
‘Ah.’
Lutes was standing there. Although he couldn't hide the tension on his face, Eline didn't pay it any mind.
“Yeah.”
Eline nodded as naturally as she could.
“Uh, well. You see. It might just be me, or I might be overreacting.”
Eline stared at him. She wondered how she should speak to make him feel comfortable, but no ideas came to mind.
“Tell me.”
“Ah.”
Only then did Lutes approach her, looking hesitant.
“This.”
And what he spread out in front of her was the very material for the project they were about to present. Eline scanned it with her eyes for a moment and then looked up.
“What about it?”
Lutes took a deep breath, as if steeling himself, and pointed with his finger.
“This part here.”
“The multiple barrier part.”
Multiple barriers. To deploy multiple barriers rather than a single one, the connection was crucial, as one had to deploy continuously linked incantations.
“I think there’s a mistake here.”
A mistake. At those words, Eline’s quill stopped dead.
That can’t be.
She had checked it, and all the other students had checked it too, so she had thought there couldn't be any errors.
“Where?”
“Here… this part…”
As she turned her gaze to where his hand was pointing,
“…”
There were only two lines drawn in the formula where there should have been three for the connection.
“I… I know it’s supposed to be three lines, not two…”
Of course it was. The lines required for the connection were three. It was so fundamental that it was a formula she had already mastered in her childhood.
“But since there were only two lines here, I just thought, maybe…”
Lutes muttered to himself, continuing to watch Eline’s reaction.
…
He was right. She had made a mistake. It was the first time. A mistake in such a trivial part. But because of this minor error, she might have to fix the entire magic formula. A minute discrepancy could have occurred.
“…”
She should have checked it more thoroughly.
“Yeah, it all looks right, Eline.”
“Could there really be a mistake?”
The words the other group members had left behind flashed through her mind. Had she been too confident in herself, assuming it was correct and just moving on? Even if it was their fault too, a sense of self-reproach washed over Eline.
How could I make such a mistake…
It was an absurd error. If this had been the Payless Mansion… she would have been dragged back to solitary confinement. Why on earth had she made such a mistake?
“…Yeah, I was wrong.”
As Eline gripped her quill tightly, her hand began to tremble slightly. Her head started to ache. She had thought she had grown, yet here she was, still making such trivial mistakes. Should she re-check from the part where the formula was wrong? No, from the very beginning…
…
“You know.”
When Lutes’s voice reached her, she slowly looked up.
“I’ll help you too.”
“…”
He still seemed uncomfortable with her, avoiding her gaze, yet he offered to help without hesitation.
“Because four eyes are better than two.”
It was an obvious statement.
“You’re going to look at it from the beginning anyway, right?”
“…That’s right.”
Lutes sat down quietly and took some of the materials Eline had been working on.
“I’ll read through this part. I don’t know if it’ll be helpful, though.”
“…”
It happened again. As he spoke to her once more, she felt an astonishing sense of calm. Her mind cleared, and she was able to calmly re-establish her plan. It was amazing.
“…Yeah.”
Eline nodded.
Until the lamp ran out of oil and needed to be replaced that night, the two of them continued their review.
“This part seems correct.”
“I’ll verify it.”
That was the extent of their conversation in the silence, but Eline couldn't help but keep turning her gaze toward him. Thinking about it now, it felt like she had only shown her weak side in front of this man.
‘…’
Even so, Eline didn't feel bad. No, rather.
She wanted to be with him a little longer. She didn't even know how to express this feeling herself. On a quiet winter night, the only sounds in the reception room were the lamp, the scratching of the quill, and the occasional rhythmic sound of breathing.
And the words Lutes would occasionally offer. Because this moment was comfortable, she wanted to stay just a little longer.
*Thump, thump.*
“…”
Her heart beat half a beat faster. And slowly, she began to understand her feelings toward him. She wanted to be by his side longer.