The New Beginning
“...I didn’t mean it like that. That wasn’t my intention.”
She didn’t know how to let go of my sleeve, which she had been gripping tightly; in fact, her hand only tightened further. Was she... agitated? But seeing her act like this all of a sudden actually made me feel more flustered.
“Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?” I asked, looking down at my sleeve held firmly in her grasp. I didn’t exactly pull my arm away by force, though.
“You’re the one acting like this all of a sudden.”
“……”
It certainly must have looked that way. Especially today, since there hadn’t been the slightest hint of this kind of development until just a moment ago.
“I was bothered by what you said, too. I wondered if you were feeling that kind of dissatisfaction with me.”
Yuhwa continued, speaking to me as I had been silently observing the situation. Hearing that, her previous actions flowed back into my mind. Certainly... after hearing what Hyein said during lunch, she must have been conscious of it, too.
Earlier, it had just been a guess, but now I could feel that her actions truly stemmed from those feelings.
“Yeah... I see.”
“Argh—! I know! I know, okay!”
She suddenly shouted, as if frustrated with herself. She finally let go of my sleeve on her own. From that point on, Yuhwa’s atmosphere changed slightly. She seemed to have returned to her usual hot-tempered and cool-headed self. I decided to stay quiet and listen to what she had to say.
“I know I’m a bit of a jerk. Sigh... I know. But I really didn’t treat you like that with that kind of intention, you know?”
Oh, ho. To think she’d call herself a jerk—that’s unexpected. Admitting that wouldn’t be easy, and it meant she was self-aware.
“Then?”
“I mean... that’s just how my personality is.”
“Then... you thought of me as a friend?”
“Obviously. You were the first person I talked to after entering school, and you’re sitting right in front of me. You readily switched seats for me... and you’re good at doing favors. Yeah...”
Yuhwa twisted her long hair, which fell over her shoulder, with her fingers. Unlike the momentum she had shown at first, her voice trailed off toward the end. It looked like the embarrassment that comes with revealing one’s true feelings.
True feelings... So, this was Yuhwa’s sincerity. But even so, there was one question. Why was she holding onto me like this? It wasn’t a doubt about her sincerity, but a question of whether there was a reason to.
Someone like Do Yuhwa could easily find someone else to take this spot without having to hold onto me. She wasn’t in a position where she had to be desperate, was she? Anyway, for now...
“So? So what, since that’s your intention... are you saying I shouldn’t take it the wrong way and should keep doing the shuttle work?”
That was the core of it. Let’s assume Do Yuhwa has some reason for holding onto me. Then, we arrive at this problem. Unfortunately, even if Do Yuhwa thought of me that way, if I ended up repeating the shuttle work, it would be meaningless. If my image was established that way, it would be difficult to reach the ending I wanted.
And above all else. Yes, above all else. I was someone who hated this protagonist who only ever got dragged around by Seo Hyein. But now that I’d come to my senses, the people had changed, but I was doing the exact same thing. I was losing my essence. Because of that, this question was the most important one right now.
“That’s why I’m asking! What do you want me to do?”
Yuhwa said, looking straight at me now. With both fists clenched tight. Her eyes held boldness and confidence. Even a bit of shamelessness. But right now, that attitude didn’t feel hateful. It didn’t feel arrogant. It felt like honesty.
She was someone who knew how to face things head-on when she needed a breakthrough. I closed my eyes for a moment after seeing that side of Yuhwa.
“What do you want me to do?! Should I just stop bothering you from now on?”
Since my eyes were still closed, only her voice reached me. “Will you be satisfied with that? If you have any complaints, say them all now. I’ll listen and think about it.”
Her voice was still feeding information into my brain. By the way, she’d listen and judge? She had acted like she’d do anything I asked.
“Hey, are you listening? Say something? Hey!! How can you just... close your eyes while someone is talking to you?”
At that point, I opened my eyes again. I felt like Yuhwa might explode if I delayed any longer. I let out a long breath. Then, I reached out my hand. Finally, I opened my mouth.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Lee Dohyun.”
I said it in my usual voice, as if it were nothing. Yuhwa looked at my outstretched hand for a moment, then met my eyes again.
“What is this...?”
“Let’s start over. Let’s pretend everything that happened before never happened.”
“What?”
“I’m saying let’s become friends properly. We can just say we ran into each other while eating tteokbokki and just became friends.”
“…….”
Yuhwa seemed to be thinking to herself for a moment. She looked like she was trying to grasp the meaning of my actions. It shouldn’t have been that hard to figure out.
“Forget it, why would I hold hands with you? Don’t try to hold my hand like that.”
Having finished her thoughts, Yuhwa slapped my hand, which was still hovering in the air, with her own. As expected... what a temper.
“What? If we don’t shake hands... unfortunately, we can’t be friends.”
“Where does it say that? You can be friends without shaking hands, you know?”
“Really? Then, let’s just call it off.”
“Ah, damn it! Fine, I get it, give it here!”
Yuhwa grabbed my hand, which had been returning to its original position, and after many twists and turns, we finally shook hands. The hand I held was much finer than I had imagined. Small and soft. Unlike her hellish personality, it was a pretty, delicate hand.
. . .
“So, shall we go now?”
Having settled the situation, we started walking again. We walked for a bit.
“But where are you going?”
Yuhwa, who had been trotting along beside me, asked suddenly. It was a voice filled with pure curiosity. But... that was something I had been wondering about, too.
“Huh? I was just following you.”
“Ha? I was following you!”
She voiced her disbelief and looked up at me diagonally. Even then, our steps didn’t stop.
“You started walking first... so I thought that was the direction of your house.”
Yes, I had actually thought that.
“What are you talking about... You walked first.”
“Then, where are we?”
“I don’t know, I’m asking you!!”
Only then did we stop walking and each took out our phones. A burst of absurd laughter filled the space, neither of us blaming the other.
It’s already almost 9 o’clock. I thought to myself as I rode the elevator in the officetel. Still, I felt a sense of satisfaction. I had said what I needed to say, and thanks to that, it felt like I had mended the relationship. I could definitely feel that there had been a harvest. It even felt like I had avoided the worst-case scenario. I should consider it a success. Now, from tomorrow... my time would be fully guaranteed. Then, first, I should look for that mysterious girl. Maybe I’ll check out the library. Looking into clubs might be okay, too.
-Ding, the door is opening.
Meanwhile, the elevator reached the 7th floor. The door opened, and I tried to walk out immediately. But as the door opened, someone was standing there, as if waiting for this elevator to come up from the 7th floor. And that was... Hyein.
Our eyes met briefly. She was wearing a hoodie and a mask. She looked like she was planning to go to a convenience store. And that was it. We exchanged that brief glance and passed each other by. I stepped out, and Hyein stepped in.
Now... she’s completely ignoring me, too. Such pathetic thoughts sprouted from somewhere unknown. Perhaps because of that, although I had been feeling a sense of pride and satisfaction just a moment ago, that positive emotion was instantly contaminated by darkness. I couldn’t even prepare for the shadow that rushed over me, and it was overwhelming.
-1st floor, the door is closing.
Even that sound felt unusually gloomy in this moment. I walked. I walked to my front door as if nothing was wrong. As the elevator slowly closed, this hallway became pitch black.
The next morning. As I was putting my feet into my shoes at the entrance.
Through the steel door, I heard Hyein’s voice.
“Hello? Yeah, I’m on my way out now!”
It was a voice full of excitement for someone who had just woken up. Hearing that, I waited blankly at the entrance for a moment. I stared at the small mirror next to the door without focus. Right, I’m a high schooler now, so I can’t be late just because I didn’t wake her up. At first, I just thought, ‘She’s finally able to wake up well on her own now.’ Since I won’t have to wake her up in the future, that’s a good thing. Yes, I thought it was a good thing.
“Thanks for calling. See you in class later!”
But for some reason... Yes, for some reason. It wasn’t a very pleasant sound to hear. Was it because it was unfamiliar? Because the timing overlapped, I ended up with a sour stomach for no reason.