Sick of Those Words
There's a saying that even a cow's horn should be pulled while the iron is hot. No matter how much you don't want to do something, it's better to at least give it a try first. I'm basically that type of person too, so if something comes to mind, I usually jump right into action. But...
“Haa...”
I let out a long sigh.
> What are you sighing so hard for? It's just one phone call.
“I know… I know that, but…”
I'd already saved Eunhye's number thanks to Daeho remembering it, but just seeing the name An Eunhye saved in my contacts made another sigh slip out. I had no idea how to even start the conversation, or how much I should say. My mind was completely blank.
“I didn't agonize this much even when I had my first relationship.”
> You didn't seem to worry or hesitate at all during your first relationship. Anyway, just make the damn call already.
“...Haa.”
Like Daeho said, I couldn't just sit here holding the phone forever. Even now, I still couldn't believe I was actually about to call Eunhye… but what choice did I have? I had to do it.
“Here I go.”
> Do it. Hurry up.
The irritation in Daeho's voice was growing thicker by the second. I swallowed hard, then pressed Eunhye's number and hit the call button.
An unfamiliar ringtone played for a moment, and then—
“Hello?”
“...”
The relatively familiar voice coming through the speaker made me clamp my mouth shut again. Come to think of it, I still hadn't figured out how to start this conversation…
“...Who is this?”
“Ah… well…”
“...Huh?”
I tried to say something, but a sudden question flashed through my mind.
Should I speak formally right now, or casually? Normally I'd just talk to her like I always do, but calling her Aju's teacher made formal speech feel more natural. It wouldn't come out any other way.
What should I do…
Ah, screw it.
“You don't recognize my voice?”
> Wow… you crazy bastard.
Daeho's sharp reaction came from the side, but I lightly ignored it. Eunhye's response to my words was—
“...No way. Is this Riha?”
“How did you know right away…”
I hadn't expected her to recognize me so quickly. Was my voice really that distinctive?
“The only person I know who would call out of nowhere without even introducing himself and say something like that is you.”
“I see.”
It was a pretty convincing reason, so I had nothing to say to that. Anyway, now that the conversation had started, I should get straight to the point.
“Do you know what's going on with Aju at school right now?”
“Before that. How did you get my number?”
“...”
I was trying to get to the main topic, but Eunhye suddenly hit the brakes. What now? If I said Aju gave it to me, the lie would probably come out eventually.
But if I said I heard it back when Daeho was alive, she'd ask why I was asking Daeho for it… Hmm…
Yeah, let's just push through.
“Stop changing the subject. The important thing right now is Aju's situation. You knew about it, didn't you?”
“...Aju is doing well at school. Her grades are good too.”
“You know that's not what I'm talking about.”
“...”
Luckily, pushing through worked. Before I knew it, the topic had completely shifted to Aju.
...I shouldn't let it show that I'm relieved.
“Let me ask you one thing. What exactly have you been doing for Aju?”
“Sigh. I'm thinking about Aju too. I encourage her whenever I get the chance.”
“And?”
“...Anything more than that is something Aju doesn't want.”
“...Ha.”
The moment I heard those words from Eunhye, the awkwardness I'd felt at the beginning vanished like dust.
Because I was instantly pissed off.
“You know, back then you went full throttle saying it was all for Aju. Now you're just standing by and watching? Why is there never any middle ground with you?”
“...It's not like I don't have thoughts about it.”
“Of course you have thoughts. Back then you had no thoughts and only action. Now you only have thoughts and no action.”
“...”
When Daeho and Aju's parents died in that fire, the two of them were placed in Eunhye's house—in other words, their uncle's home.
The people there didn't exactly discriminate against the two kids. They just… went way overboard with the overprotection. But every single one of those overprotective actions was a problem.
Especially Eunhye's attitude toward Aju. Except for the time she spent at school, Eunhye wouldn't let her go outside at all.
If Aju did go out for a bit, she had to be back before sunset without fail. She wasn't allowed to go anywhere too far from the house either.
And if she broke those rules…
“So the girl who used to slap Aju across the face now can't even slap the bastards who are making Aju's life hell? Did becoming an adult do that to you?”
“Shut up. As much time has passed, some things have changed.”
“There are things that changed, sure. But nothing has gotten better. Whether it was back then or now, in the end… you're still making things hard for Aju.”
“Ugh.”
I knew it was wrong to pin the current situation entirely on Eunhye. But… I couldn't help but feel resentment toward this stupid woman who knew exactly what Aju was going through, who was right by her side, and still did nothing.
And the fact that this was the same Eunhye who'd fought me because of how overprotective she'd been toward Aju back then only made me angrier.
“It was better back then. The old you would've thrown punches for Aju without hesitation. What the hell is that fist of yours even for now?”
“Don't think everything can be solved with fists. You're past that age too, aren't you?”
“...What age is that supposed to be?”
This was ridiculous. At the very least, shouldn't she be the last person saying that to me?
Whether we liked it or not… she and I had come to understand each other through fists. Tsk, I hate to admit it.
But we had understood each other.
Yet here she was…
“If I need to, I'll still throw punches. Especially if it's for Aju.”
“...Don't assume everyone in the world can live like you.”
This was something I'd heard from Daeho before too. I wasn't sure what exactly "like me" meant, but there was one thing I knew for sure.
I didn't want to do anything I'd regret.
“Haa, forget it. I didn't call to talk about this with you. There's a blonde girl in your class, right? I need her number.”
“...What?”
I admit it. After talking about all that and then suddenly asking for one of her female student's numbers, even I would be thrown off if I were her.
But what could I do? I was never good with words…
“I'm going to solve Aju's problem. To do that, I need information that only the students would know.”
“...Even so, I can't just give out my student's personal information.”
“You don't have to give me the number. As long as I can talk to her separately somehow, anything works.”
“...”
I wondered what Eunhye was thinking right now. Since she'd said from the beginning that she didn't trust me, she might just ignore what I was saying.
But… this was just a gut feeling.
Eunhye would help me. After all…
“This is for Aju, right?”
“Yeah.”
“...Haa.”
A faint sigh came through the phone. Then a moment of silence followed…
“Come to the front gate of our school tomorrow evening at eight. I'll make sure you can talk to that child—Jihee.”
“...Got it.”
Why tomorrow? Why at night? Why at the school?
There were plenty of questions, but I didn't need to ask them. I'd find out when the time came anyway.
By the way… her name was Jihee? It was a pretty name, unlike her vibe.
“Then I'm hanging up.”
“Wait.”
Eunhye's voice stopped me just as I was about to end the call.
I didn't answer, just stayed silent. Then Eunhye asked me one thing.
“Why… are you going this far for Aju?”
“Do I really need to answer that now?”
“I answered everything you asked and agreed to do what you wanted. You can at least answer this much, can't you?”
“...”
She was right. It did feel wrong to only take what I wanted.
But did I really have to say it?
“Right now, the only person who can protect Aju… is me.”
“...Why does it have to be you?”
“Because I'm by Aju's side.”
“And that is… why?”
What the hell did this woman want to hear from me? The reason I had to protect Aju… I'd never even thought about it in my entire life.
If I had to find a reason, there was the promise I made to Aju's mother, and the fact that I simply wanted to. But since I'd never put it into words before, I didn't know how to explain it.
If I had to pick the best way to say it…
“Because Aju is precious to me.”
That should be enough.
To me, she was someone just as close as Daeho—the person I'd spent the longest time with, sharing so many years together. It was only natural for her to be by my side. When we were together, we smiled, and I wanted to make her smile… There was nothing wrong with cherishing someone like that.
“...Precious… I see.”
I didn't really care whether she liked that answer or not. From the start, I couldn't know what Eunhye was thinking, and I didn't need to.
“Then I'm hanging up now. Make sure you come at the promised time tomorrow.”
“...Yeah.”
And with that, my call with Eunhye ended. Honestly, it went better than I'd expected after how nervous I'd been at the beginning.
“Whew, I did well. Praise me.”
> You basically fought with her the whole time. What exactly did you do well…?
“Anyway, I got what I wanted, didn't I?”
> Tsk… Well, I guess that's true.
No matter how you looked at it, getting what I wanted meant it was my win.
> But you're not going to tell Aju?
“Of course not. She'd definitely try to stop me.”
> Doing something you know she'll try to stop… huh.
“It's what we always used to do.”
> I guess that's true.
Yeah. From the beginning, both Daeho and I were basically troublemakers. If it was for someone we cared about, we didn't give a damn about the situation or our positions—we'd charge straight ahead.
That was the life I'd lived until now.
...Well, I did get beaten up by Eunhye because of it once.
“Now that I think about it, the spot where she hit me is throbbing again.”
I rubbed my right cheek where Eunhye's left jab had landed and recalled what happened that day for a moment.
It was when I'd walked Aju home after we played together. The moment Aju saw Eunhye waiting in front of the house, she started trembling in fear.
When Eunhye approached and slapped Aju across the face, the next thing I knew I was charging at her. And then I got one-sidedly beaten.
Really… I hadn't stood a chance.
“I took about a hundred hits and landed one… This damage exchange is way too one-sided.”
> What are you muttering to yourself for? Let's sleep already. I'm tired.
“What did you even do to be tired?”
> I'm different from you, who was just sitting around in the house!
“You're exaggerating…”
Even though I said that, I knew I'd done the least out of all of us. So I quietly turned off the lights. But before falling asleep…
I opened the door and went out to the living room.
“Oh. Riha oppa. You're still not sleeping?”
“That's my line.”
Sure enough, even though it was well past midnight, Aju was still studying in the living room. No matter how much of an exam student she was, remembering how she'd fallen asleep in the living room last time, I couldn't just let this slide.
“Go to bed now.”
“...I haven't studied enough yet.”
“Really? Then…”
When Aju said she hadn't studied enough, I pulled out a chair and sat down. Aju tilted her head with a puzzled expression at my actions.
“Riha oppa? Why…”
“I'll stay here until you go to sleep.”
“...I'm really studying more because I haven't done enough.”
“I know. I know, but…”
The Daeho that Aju was waiting for wouldn't open that door and come in anymore. She probably knew that better than anyone.
But…
“From now on, wait for me.”
“Huh?”
“Stop waiting for someone who isn't coming. Wait for me instead.”
“...”
Even so, Aju would probably keep waiting. For Daeho to open that door and come back.
She knew it didn't make sense, but this wasn't something that could be explained with logic.
“And I'll always be at home. Right by your side. So you don't even need to wait for me.”
“...Riha oppa.”
Aju was smart, so she must have understood what I was trying to say. As proof of that—
“...Thank you.”
She said it like that.
Thank you.
I was starting to get sick of hearing those words. Maybe one day, when Aju starts taking it for granted that I'm by her side, she won't say it anymore.
...No, knowing how diligent Aju is, she might say it her whole life. Even if she really does take my presence for granted.
In that case, I'll just have to stay by her side until I stop hearing those words.
If we spend even more time together than a lifetime… someday, there will come a day when she doesn't say it anymore.