The Voice
**Riha Side.**
When I got home after parting ways with Hwayeon, Mom shoved a mountain of side dish containers at me. No, I'm not kidding—this really was a mountain.
"Here, this one and this one. And this too."
"Mom, wouldn't it be better to just call a delivery service at this point?"
"I did. That's why you're here."
"Huh? Where is it?"
"Right here."
...Oh. Was she talking about me? Haha. Guess I'll have to start charging for quick service fees from now on.
"And... here. Take this."
"Money? What's the occasion?"
"It's not for you. It's for Aju. Last time I saw her, her clothes were all worn out. It's about to get cold, so buy her a coat or something."
Seeing how she wouldn't even give her own son a single coin made me wonder if I was really her child, but the fact that we were thinking exactly the same thing confirmed that the person in front of me was indeed my mom.
"I'll do that."
With that, I slipped the money for Aju's clothes into my pocket, somehow managed to carry the towering stack of containers, and headed back to our house.
...For the record, I took a taxi on the way back. There was no way I could walk with all of this.
Once I got home, I put all the side dishes Mom gave me in the fridge. Then, just like yesterday, I looked for part-time jobs until it was time to pick up Aju.
That day, I finally understood what that awkward silence from Aju meant when I asked her yesterday why she'd walked home alone...
* * *
**Aju Side.**
As I left the house to head to school, I touched my cheek—the same one that Riha oppa had been pinching just moments ago. I thought about his much larger, rougher hand. But the gentle way he'd pinched me so I wouldn't get hurt... I could still feel the warmth of it on my skin.
"...Hehe."
Some people might call it a little perverted, but... I couldn't help but love the warmth of the person who held me up. There was no fighting it.
Making that excuse to myself, I walked to school in a light mood, savoring the lingering warmth on my cheek until it faded.
"Hello."
"Hey there~ Aju, keep up the good work today~"
"Yes~"
As always, I greeted the security guard standing at the school gate and walked through. Maybe because I was the only student who greeted him every day, he knew my name.
And on my way to the classroom, I didn't speak to anyone. It wasn't that there weren't students around...
It was just that there was no one left in this school who would talk to me.
"Hey guys, did you see what I posted yesterday?"
"I saw it! What café is that?"
"Hehe, it's a secret~"
When I reached the classroom, about ten students had already formed their own little groups and were chatting away. Unfortunately, I didn't belong to any of them...
...
Having not spoken to a single person since entering the school building, I sat down at my desk without a word. I quietly hung my bag on the hook beside it, pulled out the reference book I'd been working on yesterday, and started reviewing.
While I studied alone like that, more students trickled into the classroom one by one... but not a single one spoke to me.
In the midst of this indifference, the only thing I could do... was not speak to anyone either.
"Hello, everyone?"
The familiar voice told me it was time for morning homeroom. I closed my reference book and looked up... to see our class teacher.
Someone far too familiar to me, someone I'd known for a very long time... my cousin.
It was Eunhye unnie.
"Wow, Miss Eunhye looks incredible today too."
"Right... she's so pretty."
"Tsk, why do they like that old lady?"
Naturally, because of Eunhye unnie's dazzling beauty, whispers started circulating among the students from the very beginning of the morning. Most of the boys praised her looks, while the girls... all of them were jealous of her beauty.
To be honest, even the girls who were jealous of Eunhye unnie had to know the truth. The only thing they could criticize her for was being older than us, so they called her an "old lady."
Her beauty was that overwhelming.
...If only I had a face and body like hers, would Riha oppa look at me?
"The Suneung is not far away now. Of course, we have midterms before that, so if you care about your school records, I hope you'll do your best there as well."
Eunhye unnie's tone was stiff, if anything. But her voice was so lovely that it didn't sound unpleasant at all... at least to me.
"And... Aju, please come to the teachers' office with me after homeroom."
"...Yes, ma'am."
Eunhye unnie suddenly calling my name. What could it be...?
Everyone at school already knew we were relatives. Even so, Eunhye unnie naturally called me "Aju" like any other student, and I called her "ma'am" in return.
"Hey, looks like she's gonna leak the test answers again."
"Pfft."
They probably thought Eunhye unnie couldn't hear it, but those voices belittling me reached my ears. There wasn't any outright bullying, but how long had it been since I'd been forced to listen to them talking behind my back like this?
Obviously, neither I nor Eunhye unnie would ever commit such misconduct, nor could we. Of course, that wasn't what mattered to them.
---
After homeroom ended and we had fifteen minutes before the next class, I followed Eunhye unnie to the teachers' office. What could she possibly have to say in just fifteen minutes?
With that question in mind, we arrived at the office. Eunhye unnie offered me her chair, and I sat down.
"Sigh. I was so out of it yesterday that I couldn't say this properly. Are you focusing on your studies okay?"
"...Yes, I'm fine. It hasn't affected my studying."
"Good. I trust you when you say that..."
Knowing there weren't many people around, Eunhye unnie spoke to me the way she normally would. Right now, she wasn't standing in front of me as a teacher, but as my cousin.
"First of all... I saw it yesterday. That guy came to pick you up."
"Ah, yes. He said he'll walk me home from now on."
"Daeho used to do that too... Nothing's going on, right?"
"...No."
What was going on. The truth was, I'd been anxious about a stalker. But I hadn't been able to tell even Riha oppa about that yet.
If Riha oppa or Eunhye unnie found out, they'd worry so much...
"Anything else? Is it uncomfortable living with him?"
"Huh? ...No, not at all. If anything, I feel so much safer thanks to Riha oppa."
"...I see."
Eunhye unnie crossed her legs and let out a sigh. It seemed like something was bothering her... but I couldn't quite tell what.
"Then what about in class? You were absent for three days this week because of... The kids are still..."
"...Yes."
Because of Daeho oppa's funeral, I hadn't come to school for three days. Of course, everyone in my class knew about it... but not a single one of them mentioned it.
Yesterday and today... the only thing they gave me was the same indifference as always.
"Sigh..."
I understood that Eunhye unnie wanted to help me. She'd always cared about me a lot, ever since we were young. Of course, at first her help had gone in the wrong direction and been a bit excessive, but now she was trying to support me as both an older cousin and a teacher, while keeping appropriate boundaries.
Calling me out separately like this to check on my situation was probably part of that.
"Anyway, you only have a few more months until the Suneung. After that, you'll have free attendance until graduation. Just hang in there until then."
"Yes."
"Alright... You can go back now."
"Yes."
But Eunhye unnie had her own position to consider, so she couldn't step in too aggressively. If she did, she'd be accused of favoritism toward family.
Not to mention the female students who were already jealous of her might cause her trouble.
'Yes, this is right. Like unnie said, there are only a few months left. It's okay... It's okay.'
It wasn't like I was being bullied. These days, with so many celebrities getting in trouble over past school violence, the general atmosphere was that people didn't harass others openly.
So I just had to accept this indifference.
"Oh, she's back. Hey, ask her what’s gonna be on the test."
"Hehe, should I?"
I could just ignore comments like that. They didn't make me sad or hurt.
The day our cat died, when Mom and Dad passed away... when Daeho oppa died.
Those times had been hundreds of times sadder and harder than this.
Thud.
Still, it didn't feel good, so without realizing it, I put too much force into pulling out my chair. It bumped into the desk of the student behind me.
The classroom fell silent in an instant. It was probably because of the girl sitting behind me.
"Damn... Who was that?"
The girl behind me had been sleeping with her head on her desk. She'd woken up because of me and looked extremely annoyed.
"Sorry, it was an accident..."
"Sigh... Be careful."
"Okay."
Thankfully, she didn't get too angry and just laid her head back down on the desk. Once she did, the sound of students chatting filled the classroom again.
Of course, no one was talking to me... except for that girl from earlier.
That girl generally didn't mix with the rest of the class. Or rather, the class avoided her. The reason was probably her atmosphere that didn't fit the school and her slightly fierce personality.
"Sorry, Jihui."
After apologizing once more, I sat down and glanced at the girl sleeping at the desk behind me—Yoo Jihui. In a school full of model students, her dyed blonde hair and the piercings in her ears stood out.
She was even boldly sleeping at her desk right before class.
Jihui's grades were at the top of the class, so the teachers overlooked it, but there was still a clear sense of dissonance with the school's image.
But...
"She doesn't seem like a bad person."
At the very least, she wasn't the type to let other people's words sway her own opinions. That alone made me think she couldn't be a bad person.
If it had been any other student earlier, they probably would've just ignored me. But when I made a mistake, she got angry at me right away, and when I apologized, she forgave me immediately.
Most students at our school probably wouldn't understand someone like her... but I knew someone just like her.
"Riha oppa."
When he was young, Riha oppa had been quiet and timid. The passage of time had given him a somewhat rougher edge, but he was the kind of person who only believed what he saw for himself and never carelessly put others down.
And...
He was my first love. The person I've liked all this time.
It had already been fifteen years since I first met Riha oppa—the one who found courage for others, did anything for them, and was honest with himself.
In other words, my first love had gone unrequited for fifteen years.
And probably... it would stay that way.
---
Our school was primarily attended by students with excellent grades, so it was quite different from other schools in many ways. One of those differences was that there was no night self-study session. In other words, no mandatory after-school study hall.
This was because the school trusted us. They believed that students like us would study on our own without needing to be kept at school.
And in reality, that was true.
"Make sure to get home safely today as well."
With Eunhye unnie's farewell, the closing remarks ended, and the students left the classroom in their groups. Some were heading to reading rooms, some to academies, and some home.
Usually, I waited until everyone else had left before leaving the classroom. If I got mixed in with them, I might hear things I didn't want to hear.
But today, I left the classroom a little earlier than usual.
"Riha oppa, I wonder if he'll be waiting at the front gate again today."
After seeing Riha oppa waiting for me at the gate when school ended yesterday, I'd felt like all the fatigue of the day had melted away.
I'd even called out to him in a loud voice without realizing it.
"I miss him."
Wanting to feel that feeling again as soon as possible, I mixed in with the students leaving school and walked toward the gate at a quicker pace than usual.
At that moment.
"Hey, there's An Aju."
I froze.
"Really? Huh, what's she doing out at this time?"
"Right? She usually stays hidden until we've all left."
"Whatever. It's her business when she comes out."
They weren't directly picking a fight with me. They weren't using violence against me either.
It was just the act of talking about me in voices loud enough for me to hear from behind.
...It made my steps grow heavier.
"Hey, I think she can hear us?"
"What? She already knew."
"That's true."
These days, with so many people suffering consequences later in life over school violence from their student days, this kind of harassment had increased.
Complete isolation through overwhelming indifference. And now, this kind of gossip from just far enough away that I couldn't confront them.
It really was... a dirty tactic.
...
I walked slower and slower as the students around me quickly passed me by. I kept my head down, afraid of making eye contact with anyone.
The excitement I'd felt just moments ago about seeing Riha oppa had already turned into depression.
No... it almost had.
If it weren't for the loud voice that swallowed up even that gloom.
"Aju!!"
It was a voice I knew all too well, one I could never mistake no matter the situation.
"Aju~~!!"
At the voice calling me again, I lifted my head from where I'd been looking down.
"...Riha oppa."
There was Riha oppa, running toward me as he called my name.