Chapter 76
Chapter 76
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 76
Chapter Title: Unicorn
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Sudden knighting ceremony aside...
The Emperor pours Dragon Heart into his glass and savors its aroma deeply.
"Heh heh, this is what makes a drink like this perfect."
The Emperor pulls a small rectangular object from his drawer.
"Sir Aiden, do you know what this is?"
A gray, square thing I've never seen before.
Not dice or anything—how would I know?
"First time seeing it."
"Well, you see..."
The Emperor glances around once.
He carefully opens his mouth.
"It's a unicorn horn."
"Pardon?"
Unicorn horn?
As I make a puzzled face, the Emperor pulls out another unicorn horn...
"Grind this into powder and swallow it, and you'll get an incredible boost in virility. You're fine now, but who knows when you get older."
He holds it out to me.
Memories of being serially milked by the insatiable Luna in the Grand Duchy bring tears to my eyes.
"Ahem! Y-Your... Your Majesty! I am deeply grateful for your grace."
"Heh heh. Looks like you've got your own unspeakable story."
"Waaah... Lately... my girlfriend's been at me every single day, and I've lost all confidence."
How much did she wring me dry?
I felt terror every time she grinned and demanded "one more!"
All day long, squeezed dry.
And her insatiable skill keeps growing, to the point my balls ache.
Yet he's giving something this precious to me.
I hug the Emperor and pat his back heartily.
"Drink this. And stand tall with pride as a proper stud!"
"Your Majesty!"
He pats my back.
"Come on, raise a glass with me!"
"Thanks, bro!"
The Emperor pours the drink, grinds unicorn horn powder into it...
"Cheers!"
"Cheers!"
-Gulp gulp!
And so our drinking session began.
Maybe the alcohol's stronger than I thought?
Sipping away, I'm getting pretty buzzed.
"Sir Aiden, not that it matters now, but do you know how much humiliation I've endured?! I wanted to slaughter every bastard in the palace whispering about me being a eunuch or whatever!"
The Emperor's quite drunk too, his face flushed red...
"Your Majesty, you're drunk."
"Hic... That bitch, if she hadn't fooled around with the eunuchs!"
-Thud!
Now the Emperor slumps over his desk, tears streaming.
I pat his back.
"Don't cry. Hasn't it all been resolved now?"
As I console him, he lifts his head and looks at me with drunken eyes.
"Listen, Sir Aiden. Do you know how much I've suffered? Servants and pages, men and women, young and old, whispering behind my back—do you know the shame? I even thought about suicide."
"I know the pain of a man hanging his head low. My girlfriend has an insanely strong sex drive."
"Oh?! You've had those worries too, huh. But you can still do it, right?"
"Yeah, but... her desires are so intense it's hard to keep up. Sometimes ten times a day."
The Emperor looks shocked at my words.
"Even when I was young, ten times was tough... From what I see, your virility seems strong."
"It's not me being strong. After we finish, she forces it back up. She's such a succubus, I can't tell if she's human or demon!"
"I get it completely. I just got remarried recently? After the first night, she clings so aggressively it's a real hassle. Thanks to the Yang-Yin Wine, I didn't end up a limp-dicked failure..."
The Emperor and I bond, sharing our woes.
"Tonight, I'll fuck her to death. That's what I say!"
"You got it! I'll make my girlfriend beg for mercy too!"
A bit tipsy, but thrilled at the thought of paying Luna back for all she's done!
He says it like he owns the world.
"Heh heh, it's all thanks to you. I haven't lived long, but you're the first as loyal as this."
He fills my glass with a serious face.
Drinking with him, my memories start fading.
The Emperor's eyes glaze over, face beet red from booze.
"Seeing you reminds me of my late □□. You two really look alike."
Can't make out what he's saying, but drunk, I chime in.
"If I remind you of the late □□... then I'll serve Your Majesty as I would □□ from now on."
"Haha! Straight shooter..."
Tears well in his eyes.
"Just like □□. Perfect! I'll think of you as □□ too. Hell, why not swear ■■■ brotherhood while we're at it? You're just like □□ in looking out for me."
No clue what he's on about...
"Sounds good! Love that!"
"As expected, bold! Just like □□!"
Something like that, but memories gone.
We talked at length...
"Here! Drink this, and we're hooked for life!"
"Sure thing! Never thought I'd click so well with the empire's top power! □□!"
"Haha! Good man, Aiden!"
-Clink!
-Gulp, gulp!
And with that drink, my memory cuts off.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "Aiden?"
A sweet voice rings in my ears.
"Aiden? Get up already?"
Something shakes my body...
"Mmm... my head... lemme sleep more."
Don't know who, but wanna sleep longer.
"Ha? Sleep more? Get up!"
Luna's cold voice forces my eyes open as I scan around...
"Ah?"
My room... and it's broad daylight.
Eh? Pretty sure I drank late last night?
"Finally with it?"
"How'd you get here?"
I remember the private meeting with the Emperor and drinking.
We bonded over complaining about women, then... blank.
"What kind of guts do you have to drink with His Majesty?"
"Yeah, but..."
Then a major realization hits me.
"Um... Grand Duchess?"
"Yeah? What, Aiden?"
To Luna blinking her red eyes with a displeased look, I say awkwardly,
"I... think I got knighted."
"What? Knighted?! What does that mean?"
Luna's eyes widen in shock.
I tell her what happened yesterday.
"His Majesty, after receiving the Dragon Heart, knighted you?"
"Yes. No big deal, right?"
"No, you can't just accept that! Knights get obligations equal to their noble rights! Idiot!"
Obligations?
"What kind?"
Luna frowns and asks.
"Did he grant you land too?"
I shake my head.
"No? He didn't mention that."
Luna bites her thumbnail, lost in serious thought.
Thought knighthood was good... was it a mistake?
As I worry something went wrong,
She sighs.
"Probably an honorary knighthood. Makes you semi-noble."
"And the obligations?"
"Hmm... Step up if the empire or Emperor's in danger? But no real rights, so it's just ceremonial."
What? No biggie then?
"Thought it was something great, but it's nothing."
Luna glares at me.
"It is great. Knighted by the Emperor himself—leagues above regular knights. Formally my vassal, but also the Emperor's direct vassal."
Her odd words puzzle me.
"If I'm your vassal, what's this Emperor vassal thing?"
"Exactly. Can't compare some rural baron's knight to the Emperor's. It's a title he gives close commoners. Better treatment than minor nobles with backwater fiefs."
I nod at Luna's explanation.
"Phew, so it's good."
No obligations, and as a commoner, semi-noble status—not bad for me.
That guy's a fun, hearty fellow, no old-man vibes.
She glares daggers and snaps.
"Sigh, lucky it turned out well. If it was a full knighthood, you'd have to stay here."
"Pfft, a knight who can't even wield a sword properly?"
First time hearing of a knight who can't handle mana either.
"True, but... ugh... stomach hurts."
Luna winces hard.
"Argh! Causing trouble the moment I'm away... When we get back to Vain, you're in for it."
-Gulp.
But I'm not backing down.
I ate the Emperor's unicorn horn and Dragon Heart.
-Knock knock.
Someone knocks on my door.
"Who is it?"
-His Majesty's message.
Luna shoots me a side-eye.
Like I'm hiding something? But I'm not.
"Come in."
A man enters as I say that.
He bows to Luna and me, then speaks.
"His Majesty invites you both to dinner tonight."
-Zap.
I feel Luna's glare like "what mess did you make now?"...
But refusing the Emperor's invite is rude, right?
As I glance at Luna thinking that, she nods with a blank face, red eyes gleaming murderously, aura ominous.
Like she's accepting but wants a long talk later.
"Yes! Of course we'll go! How could I refuse His Majesty?"
I smile brightly, but feel stinging glares from the side.
"Very well. I'll inform His Majesty and Her Majesty the Empress. See you later."
The page bows out.
-Slam.
Door shuts, and Luna grabs my collar, pale-faced, yelling.
"Aiden! Spill it! Wh-what mess did you make?!"
"Whoa! My... my head's ringing!"
"What did you do to His Majesty! One slip and the Grand Duchy deal's gone!"
Luna's ashen.
I pull her wrist...
-Smack.
Kiss her cheek.
"Don't worry. Probably not calling for anything bad."
"But this wasn't in the plan..."
Luna droops at my words.
I stroke her hair and say,
"Heh heh, anyway... wanna do it?"
Luna shakes her head furiously, inner conflict plain in her eyes.
"No! If we do it here and that pervert Crown Prince catches us, it'll be a nightmare..."
"Heh heh... then?"
I hug Luna's body and whisper in her ear.
"As long as we don't have sex?"
"Ugh..."
Luna bows her flushed face.
"When we get back to the Grand Duchy... I'll do it all day... grrr... get ready."
I fondled her body to my heart's content.