The Answer I’d Been Avoiding
A pleased, hollow laugh.
Had she just woken up?
Lee Ha-eun’s voice was languid and sweet, unlike her usual self.
By contrast, my own voice, still slightly rough with sleep, sounded absurdly flat.
"Sounds good. Let's meet then."
"Yes?"
"...?"
Lee Ha-eun gave a soft snort of laughter.
The provocation came at me so suddenly that I almost laughed out loud.
My mouth curled up slowly.
"Do I have any reason to avoid you, Lee Ha-eun?"
"Ah. I'll have to decline that."
Lee Ha-eun let out a small laugh.
It sounded like a skylark singing.
I tilted my head slightly.
Lee Ha-eun. Why is she so high-strung right now?
Was it because she had just woken up?
Whatever the reason, her mood was excellent.
For a woman who suffered from crippling insomnia and lived in a constant state of stress, it was strange.
As I felt a creeping sense of wrongness rising up my spine, Lee Ha-eun stopped laughing and asked,
"I'm just starting now."
"I'll pick something that suits you."
I heard rustling through the phone.
The sound of pajamas brushing against a blanket.
She must have gotten out of bed.
Without thinking, I pictured it and tightened my expression.
Then Lee Ha-eun whispered in a low voice,
The call ended.
I steadied my breathing, wiped away the cold sweat running down my skin, and clicked my tongue.
Damn.
How hot was it today that I was sweating this much in such a short time?
Frowning, I retreated into the shade.
Once the heat eased off, my mind settled again, and one thing became clear.
"So it wasn't my imagination."
Lee Ha-eun, the top-tier actress.
The way she treated me had changed.
Why the hell all of a sudden?
The reason came to mind quickly.
That night... it must have been because of what happened.
But hadn't she been the one to say we should treat it like an accident and let it go?
So now she's changed her mind?
Anyone else would have been impossible to understand.
But because it was Lee Ha-eun, it made sense.
She was the most insane woman I knew.
At that moment, curiosity stirred in my chest.
What exactly was Lee Ha-eun thinking? What was she feeling?
Why had her attitude toward me changed?
Now I was... genuinely curious.
Brushing my unkempt bangs back, I muttered,
"Either way, this is going to come to a head soon."
Next Sunday.
I would get the answer to the problem I had been avoiding.
***
For the first time in a while, I went to work at the training center instead of headquarters.
After finishing To.Any's morning dance practice, I gave a ride to the members along with Lee Ye-ji and headed to SBC Broadcasting Station.
Nova, sitting in the back seat, was unable to hide her excitement and kept losing it.
"Ye-ji unnie, we're really going on a variety show?"
"How many times are you going to ask? Yes, we're really going!"
"Chiefiiiiiiief! If the meeting goes well, we're actually going on TV today, right?"
"If the meeting goes well, probably?"
"Whoa, holy crap! Can I tell my mom and dad?"
"I don't care, but what if you blow up the schedule by doing that?"
"Uh... huh? The schedule could blow up?"
Looking at the back seat through the rearview mirror, I saw Nova staring with her mouth hanging open like an idiot.
I considered teasing her a little more, then answered honestly.
"That won't happen, so relax."
"Too late, Chief. I've already seen the future where I make some huge mistake during the meeting..."
"If you make a mistake like that, I'll cover for you."
"...Really?"
"Really."
Nova's expression brightened again.
"If the chief will cover for me, then I can mess up!"
Seol Chae-i, sitting beside her, cut in with a deadpan look.
"Are you seriously thinking about making a mistake from the start?"
"What are you talking about? You heard the chief scaring me, so I was just messing around."
"You were genuinely scared, and now you're acting tough."
"...Hey, you little brat, you're starting trouble again? Fine. Today, we're settling this!"
Nova and Seol Chae-i began their now-familiar bickering.
In the middle of it, Rei poked her head out quietly.
"Sil-jjang-nim."
"Yes?"
"Want some gum?"
"...Is it that zero gum again?"
"Yes! You don't like sweets, Chief!"
Hmm... if it was the same gum as last time, then it couldn't be sugar-free zero gum, could it?
As expected, the gum Rei handed me was packed with a sweetness that could rot my teeth on contact.
Chewing on it, I asked,
"Does the package actually say zero?"
"Nope. It doesn't."
"Then it doesn't sound like zero gum."
"It is zero! It said so in a Coupang ad!"
She must have misunderstood the commercial.
I was probably going to have to reteach Rei Korean.
By the time we had exchanged enough pointless jokes and chatter, we arrived at SBC Broadcasting Station.
After getting out of the car, I headed straight for the variety department.
To.Any, following behind me, seemed tense at the unfamiliar place and had gone stiff.
It was just a quick appearance to make a face and be seen, so there was no need for them to be nervous...
Still, just in case, I tried some light conversation to loosen them up.
"Your music show rankings are trending well. How's the reaction around you?"
Ga-eul, who looked more tense than anyone else, blurted out,
"It's completely wild."
"From your family?"
"Yeah. My mom and dad were crying and asking if I was really becoming a star now, and..."
"Did you tell your family that Youth Travel was your song?"
"Um... not yet."
I tilted my head.
"Why not? You should brag about it."
"Uh... hasn't the article still not come out yet?"
Huh?
There still wasn't an article saying that Youth Travel was written and composed by Ga-eul?
Ga-eul glanced at me carefully and explained.
"I figured the company wanted to keep it secret since no article came out yet... Can I tell my parents, Chief?"
My eyes widened.
Hold on.
Lightning flashed through my head.
Smiling, I answered Ga-eul's question first.
"I'll check on it, so let's keep it secret a little longer, okay?"
"Yes, Chief."
Without any suspicion, Ga-eul nodded and went back to peeking nervously around the variety department.
Watching her back, a plausible picture began to form in my head.
But this wasn't the time to focus on that. I had to concentrate on Park PD from Star Observation!
How much time passed after that?
Park PD appeared in a flurry, saying,
"Sorry, sorry, I ran late because the editing video was backed up!"
His eyes, wiping away sweat, turned toward To.Any.
After a quick scan, Park PD let out an impressed breath.
"Wow... They look even better in person than in photos? You really are a visual group. Their visuals are excellent."
The girls looked back at me.
Feeling like a mother bird, I answered,
"Should we move somewhere and talk first, Park PD?"
"Right, right. Let's go to the meeting room."
Once we entered the meeting room, cut off from outside eyes, To.Any's expressions relaxed noticeably.
Park PD, watching them, murmured,
"They really do look like rookies, Kwon Chief."
"They are rookies, Park PD. They haven't even been debuted for a month yet."
"Ah, right. Real rookies, huh? Hmm... maybe that's why. They don't feel like celebrities so much as pretty ordinary girls."
Interest practically dripped from Park PD's eyes.
Because of that, the pre-meeting moved along smoothly, with no trouble at all.
"Our Star Observation! concept is exactly what the title says, a observational variety show, so there's not much need to be nervous."
"It's more like peeking into the daily life of a manager and an entertainer. The program runs that way, so if you just show your ordinary routine naturally, the way you usually live, that's enough."
"But if you only show day-to-day life, it gets dull, so we'll need to prepare a little event or two. A fan handshake event for a rookie girl group? Something like that would be good."
With Park PD's friendly attitude, even To.Any relaxed and started asking questions here and there.
Watching them in silence, I got up from my seat.
"Park PD. I'll use the restroom for a bit."
"Sure, sure. Go ahead!"
After leaving the meeting room, I pulled out my smartphone on the way to the restroom.
"There really wasn't an article saying Ga-eul wrote and composed Youth Travel?"
Muttering to myself, I searched for the article.
After a moment.
A crooked smile formed on my lips.
"Look at this. It really isn't there."
There really wasn't any article saying that Ga-eul had written and composed Youth Travel.
Was it a PR team mistake? Or a genuine coincidence?
Or is this part of what Director Park Yu-hyeon meant when he said he'd put someone in charge of managing To.Any's schedule?
I couldn't be sure of the reason.
But one thing was certain.
This situation.
It looked like a good opportunity not just for To.Any, but for me too.
Youth Travel is currently at No. 6.
Just the fact that an unfavored rookie girl group song had reached No. 6 on the music charts was enough to stir up buzz.
What would happen if it became known that the song creating that buzz had been written and composed by member Ga-eul?
"A rookie girl group leader who can write and compose."
My mouth curled higher.
However I used it, this source of mine would make a huge splash.
But isn't it a little too precious to blow right away?
This world runs on one piece of buzz breeding the next.
Wouldn't it be tastier to drop this source when attention on To.Any had reached its peak?
...Right. If I wait until the live broadcast of Star Observation! and then drop it, the picture will be better.
If I gathered all the force at once and then let it explode, it could easily send To.Any's chart ranking soaring.
Maybe it would have even more impact than taking first place on the music charts.
And if that happened... wouldn't President Baek's reward get upgraded too?
A broad grin spread across my face.
"As long as it has something to do with To.Any, things always go well for me."
They really were human vitamins, the lot of them.
Feeling the tension that had been coiled tight in me lately loosen just a little, I opened the meeting-room door.
I found To.Any and Park PD laughing together, shoulders shaking.
"Oh? You're back, Kwon Chief?"
"Yeah. But when did you all get so close? The mood looks good."
"No, seriously... these girls are hilarious. Especially this Nova girl. Her talk is insanely good!"
At Park PD's words, I turned to look.
Nova was sitting there with her shoulders bouncing proudly.
I thought Nova had real flair from the start, but if Park PD likes her this much, maybe I should push her more toward variety.
Just then, Park PD tossed out a question.
"Seeing it like this, the picture's good, isn't it? Kwon Chief's character is unusual too, so if he came on with them, the chemistry would pop!"
"?"
"If we think about Kwon Chief's image... right! We could go with a real-life beauty-and-the-beast concept. What do you all think?"
What was this?
What exactly had I just heard?
Blowing out my cheeks, I asked,
"What are you talking about, Park PD?"
"Huh? I'm talking about you appearing on the show."
"On Star Observation!?"
"Yes."
"...Why would I go on that?"
Park PD said it like it was obvious.
"Then you don't want to? You can see at a glance that you and To.Any have great chemistry."
My expression twisted at once.
***
The next day.
After hearing what had happened with Park PD on the rooftop smoking area, Team Leader Ma Seok-du burst out laughing.
"Beauty and the beast? Are you kidding me...! Hey! The more I hear it, the better that concept seems to fit you. So you said you'd appear?"
As I flicked ash from my cigarette, I answered,
"Have you lost your mind? Why would I go on a variety show?"
"Why not! If Park PD pushed that hard, it means he saw something!"
"Forget it. There are already too many annoying things on my plate right now, and I'm busy enough as it is..."
"You're being dramatic, you brat."
Was that being dramatic?
Absolutely not.
If I went on variety TV now on top of everything else, I might actually die.
Lee Ha-eun's Black Bride. And on top of that, I still need to find Choi Go-eun, the girl who won Best New Actress at the Busan International Film Festival.
As I grumbled like I was shaking off cigarette ash, my shoulders gave a small twitch.
"...Seok-du hyung."
"What."
"Do you know an actress named Choi Go-eun?"
Seok-du hyung's eyes widened.
At that change in expression, my heart gave a little jump.
Ma Seok-du, who had spent ten years grinding his way through the industry.
A social butterfly in the entertainment world who knew every celebrity under the sun.
Wouldn't someone like him know Choi Go-eun, the owner of the Busan International Film Festival's Best New Actress award?
Seok-du hyung slowly scratched his chin and answered,
"Choi Go-eun? Who's that? Never heard the name."
"...Forget it."
"What was that look? Why are you staring at me like I'm some kind of insect?"
Instead of answering, I put out my cigarette and went downstairs to the management office.
Today was the regular meeting, so I headed to the conference room.
I greeted the senior road managers already waiting there.
"Chief Kwon. To.Any's debut numbers are good, huh?"
"Why are you doing so well lately? You're standing out too much, so I'm getting a little jealous."
"You're going to treat us when the Queen of Joseon bonus comes in, right? I'm looking forward to it."
With an awkward smile, I brushed off the senior road managers' teasing and low-key checks.
In the meantime, Seok-du hyung, who had come into the conference room, clapped his hands.
"All right, Team Five! We're starting the meeting, and we've got an important agenda today, so focus up!"
I tilted my head.
An important agenda all of a sudden?
Then Seok-du hyung glanced at me and opened the meeting with a cautious tone.
"That... you all know about Team Leader Kim Seong-hun's incident, right?"
"!"
"Because of that incident, a team leader-level meeting was held Friday, and at the director's instruction, we were told to retrain the employees' mindset. Is there anyone in Team Five who's the kind of trash who badmouths the entertainers under them or gossips behind their backs?"
The atmosphere in the room turned heavy in an instant.
I could feel the senior road managers attending the meeting exchanging glances with one another.
Only I, untouched by the mood, listened calmly to Seok-du hyung's explanation.
"If there's anyone like that, keep your mouth shut. The director is watching this mess closely. And..."
Trailing off, Seok-du hyung handed out a thick file folder to the employees.
My eyebrows twitched.
Cheon Woo-young, Im Hyun-sung, Choi Ji-hyun?
Profiles for midcareer actors who formed the backbone of Baekhak, and a comedian MC classified as A-grade.
But these celebrities...
Weren't they all assigned to Team One?
Then Seok-du hyung slammed his hand down on the whiteboard and said,
"Now, this is another agenda, but from here on out I need you to listen carefully! We're talking about your livelihood."
"!"
"By the director's order, the entertainers Team One had been monopolizing are going to be distributed evenly across the teams."
"....!!"
"With Team One's leader absent, the problems everyone had been pretending not to see finally exploded. How many entertainers was one Team One road manager handling anyway? The director decided to settle the issue that's been brewing for a while this time."
A grin tugged at the corner of Seok-du hyung's mouth.
"The files I just handed out are the list of entertainers being reassigned from Team One, so look them over carefully and choose. As long as they don't overlap with another team, you can bring them in no matter what."
The heavy mood in the conference room shot up in an instant.
"What? They're suddenly handing out entertainers?"
"Then does that mean Team One's Park Jin-woo is getting released too?"
"No way, they wouldn't release an S-class name like that!"
"Wow... isn't this basically the same as blowing up Team One?"
The senior road managers' eyes changed.
A little excitement.
And tension.
Since the important bonus for managers depended on the performance of the entertainers they handled, it was only natural.
Meanwhile, Seok-du hyung, showing a team leader's presence for the first time in a while, ran the meeting.
"There seem to be a lot of decent assets at a glance, so choose carefully."
The senior road managers quickly started flipping through the profile files.
I felt my own interest waking up and started going through them too.
There are some fairly big names here. Isn't Park Jun-hee doing well on NutTube these days?
An MC from the open recruitment pool who had been climbing fast.
A veteran actor whose momentum had dipped but whose acting remained solid.
A former boy band member who had gone solo and was hoping for a breakout.
Just as I was carefully checking the files, wondering whether there was anything worth bringing over, my hand jolted as I turned the last profile.
"...What?"
I stared hard.
There, in the final profile, was a name both familiar and unfamiliar.
[Name: Kim Go-eun]
[Stage Name: Choi Go-eun]
[Age: 18]
Goosebumps rose along my arm, and my throat bobbed hard.
"No way. The Choi Go-eun I was looking for..."
It looked like I had found the starlet of the Busan International Film Festival.
"She was a child actress under Team One?"
A starlet that had not yet fully ripened, in the truest sense.