A Confession I Don’t Remember
“Wait just a little longer.”
My face flushed hot all at once.
Unable to keep my expression in check, Lee Ha-eun staggered back a step.
But Kwon Chan, who had risen from his seat, closed the distance by that same amount.
Lee Ha-eun recoiled in alarm, but even as she gave ground again, Kwon Chan swayed and somehow kept coming.
Unable to steady himself, he forced her to close the gap and catch him.
The hard plane of his chest pressed against her hands.
The vivid feel of him sent her heart hammering.
It beat so fast it almost hurt.
And this man, oblivious to all of it, whispered again.
“You know you’re really beautiful?”
Lee Ha-eun squeezed her eyes shut.
Honestly, he was going to drive her insane.
“You’re drunk, Kwon Chan.”
“No, I’m not.”
“If you weren’t drunk, you wouldn’t be saying I’m pretty.”
At her words, Kwon Chan let out a short laugh.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but his hot breath tickled her ear.
He’d only had the first drink and barely touched the rest because of the schedule the next day, so why did her own ears feel as though they were burning too?
Lee Ha-eun was straining to hold onto the last thread of her reason, trying to put some distance between them, when Kwon Chan murmured in a low voice.
“These days, I only think about you.”
No, really, what was wrong with this man?
“The more I think about you like this, and now you’re really standing in front of me...”
“...”
“Even if this is a dream, it’s good. Being here with you like this.”
Looking at Lee Ha-eun, Kwon Chan gave a small, soft laugh.
Staring blankly at him, Lee Ha-eun let out a disbelieving chuckle of her own.
Absolutely not.
From now on, absolutely not.
Whenever this man went drinking, she would never leave him alone with another woman.
Who knew who he’d be trying to seduce with a face like that?
At the same time, Lee Ha-eun felt her patience nearing its limit.
Fine.
She’d waited long enough.
For Lee Ha-eun, who had the temperament of a lit match, this really was a long time.
And this time, it’s legal, too, right?
He’d been the one to make the first move, so she wasn’t the one at fault here.
Just as her eyes flashed with that thought, Kwon Chan muttered,
“Lee Ha-eun.”
At his call, Lee Ha-eun answered slowly.
“Yeah. Talk.”
“I have something to say.”
Lee Ha-eun pushed back the hunger for a moment and gave a low laugh.
“You said it was a dream. Why don’t you say it to my face?”
“I can’t say it if I look right at you.”
Lee Ha-eun’s eyes widened a fraction.
Curiosity rose inside her.
“What is it?”
At her question, Kwon Chan answered slowly.
“You’re too far away.”
Too far away?
Lee Ha-eun tilted her head.
What was he talking about, saying she was far when they were this close?
Then Kwon Chan continued, his voice measured.
“Because you shine so brightly, like a star...”
The smile that had been spilling from Lee Ha-eun’s lips stopped cold.
By contrast, Kwon Chan did not stop speaking.
“I thought I’d try standing a little closer to you, but it isn’t easy.”
“...?”
“Thinking about it, it makes sense. Next to a top actress everyone in the world loves...”
His voice trailed off, and with it came a trace of melancholy.
“Someone like me, who doesn’t have anything, has no right to belong there.”
Lee Ha-eun’s eyes, fixed on Kwon Chan, shook violently.
The shock hit like a blow to the back of her head, and with her lips parted slightly, no words came out.
At the same time, she remembered the way he had been behaving toward her over the past few days.
Calling her pretty when that wasn’t like him, smiling a little more gently than usual...
The faint traces of hesitation hidden beneath actions Kwon Chan would never normally take. It felt as if she was hearing the answer to those signs now.
And then Lee Ha-eun shouted,
“Why do you care about something like that when you’re standing next to me?”
Her voice rose, though she didn’t realize it was trembling at the end.
“I’m the one who decides that, Kwon Chan.”
“Right. You’re the one who decides.”
“Then why are you worrying about something like that? You don’t need anything else. Just look at me. I’ll give you everything.”
Kwon Chan slowly shook his head.
“That would be a one-sided relationship.”
“How is this one-sided? You just have to show up. I’ll do everything.”
“I can’t do that.”
Kwon Chan braced a hand on his knee and got to his feet.
Everything was swaying so badly that heaven and earth no longer felt distinct, but the woman in front of him remained clear.
Looking at her tearful expression, Kwon Chan thought, This has to be an illusion.
What reason would that ruthless woman have to look like she was about to cry if this weren’t even acting?
So Kwon Chan confessed what was in his heart.
“Wait just a little longer.”
He didn’t have the courage to say it while face-to-face.
But he wanted to say it at least once.
Even if it meant borrowing the coward’s help of alcohol, he wanted to confess this feeling of his to the Lee Ha-eun he had conjured in his head, just once.
“If you wait just a little longer, I’ll come to your side.”
A one-sided love couldn’t last forever.
A relationship where only one person gave would end before long.
If that was the kind of relationship he wanted, he wouldn’t have agonized over it like this.
So even if he couldn’t catch up to the woman racing ahead of him, he had to rise at least enough not to drag at her ankles.
So he could stay by her side longer.
That was the conclusion Kwon Chan had reached about his relationship with Lee Ha-eun.
“This time, I’ll come to you first, Lee Ha-eun.”
The corners of Lee Ha-eun’s eyes trembled.
Staring at Kwon Chan for a moment in that state, she lifted both hands and covered her eyes.
Like the tips of Kwon Chan’s ears when he was drunk, everything from her face down to her neck had gone bright red, and she murmured slowly,
“Kwon Chan.”
“Yes?”
“Answer me one thing.”
At that, the drunk Kwon Chan’s eyes widened.
“Do you love me?”
At the question, asked without any certainty, Kwon Chan opened his mouth.
“That...”
I snapped my eyes open.
“?”
What I saw wasn’t some unfamiliar ceiling. It was the one I knew.
Sitting up, I scratched at my tangled hair, then suddenly felt my throat go dry as fire and forced myself up to drink a glass of cold water.
The ice-cold water churned through me, and my mind cleared at once.
In that state, I slowly tilted my head.
“How did I get home?”
...
I had no idea.
Not a single thing came back to me.
The next day after I’d blacked out for the first time in ages, I went into the office and muttered with a cigarette between my lips.
“...I don’t remember a thing.”
Seriously, I was thrown.
I remembered going into the barbecue restaurant, and I remembered talking about all kinds of things with the managers, but after that, the whole night was gone.
It felt as if someone had rifled through my skull and removed one entire scene from the company dinner last night.
My expression soured.
“Did I maybe do something stupid while drunk?”
No, stupid was the wrong word.
I couldn’t remember, but...
I had a feeling.
In the part of last night I couldn’t recall, I had definitely made a fool of myself.
I wanted to pray that I was worrying over nothing, but I couldn’t even do that.
It was because of a text I’d received that morning.
-Lee Ha-eun: Idiot.
“...That definitely means I screwed up, doesn’t it?”
There was no way Lee Ha-eun would just send me a text like that for no reason. Something had happened.
At that moment, a cold chill crawled up my spine.
I’d blacked out before from drinking, but never had I been this afraid the next morning.
In the end, I pulled out my smartphone.
“...Right. Pretending I didn’t do something embarrassing after drinking would be even more pathetic.”
Letting out a long breath, I made the call.
After a few rings, it connected.
-Mm?
Her voice was heavy with sleep.
Had she just woken up?
I swallowed dryly and spoke slowly.
“Lee Ha-eun.”
She answered in a languid voice.
-Mm, I’m listening.
“I just saw your KakaoTalk.”
-Mm. And?
I rolled the words around in my mouth for a moment.
But after calling her, it felt ridiculous to keep hesitating.
I made up my mind and went straight for it.
“Did I, by any chance, do something stupid yesterday?”
My heart was pounding.
It was so loud I worried she might be able to hear it through the phone.
Then, as Lee Ha-eun breathed in and out very softly, she murmured,
-Looks like you really don’t remember.
“If I’m being honest...”
-Then suffer a little.
“?”
-For the record, you confessed to me.
“...??”
My mouth slowly fell open.
“A c-confession?”
I stammered from sheer shock.
From the other end of the line, I heard a pleased laugh.
-Figure out the rest for yourself. I’ll wait as long as it takes.
With that, the call clicked off.
I stared at the disconnected phone with a stunned look on my face.
“.......I confessed?”
So I confessed?
...No way.
There was no way I’d done that.
No, this had to be a joke.
A cruel joke.
I hurriedly called again.
But that nasty woman didn’t pick up.
Instead, another KakaoTalk message arrived.
-Lee Ha-eun: (photo attached) Cute, really.
My mouth slowly opened.
In the photo Lee Ha-eun sent, I was dead drunk, slinging an arm around Jeon Hyeong-u’s shoulders and grinning like an idiot.
I sent a frantic reply.
-Me: What is this picture??
-Lee Ha-eun: Why, don’t you like it?
-Me: Don’t go taking other people’s black history whenever you want -_-
-Lee Ha-eun: It’s nothing but cute lol
I had no idea how I’d gotten through the morning, and in the afternoon I went out on a field visit.
Together with Jeon Hyeong-u and Kim, the team leader from Blue Pine Production, I headed to the headquarters of SQ Distribution, the company handling the release of Black Bride.
“We’re planning to keep the VIP premiere date at the end of April, just as scheduled.”
“Then we should start drafting the invitation list soon, right? Are there any celebrities the actors would like to invite separately?”
“For now, it’d probably be best to include family members, and we should ask about this part a little more...”
The meeting was in full swing, but I couldn’t quite focus on it at all.
-Me: What exactly did I confess?
-Lee Ha-eun: I don’t know, idiot.
-Me: Come on, just tell me already.
-Lee Ha-eun: That’s so childish. What even is “come on, just tell me already”?
I laughed before I could stop myself.
Jeon Hyeong-u, sitting beside me, tapped my shoulder.
“Team Leader.”
“Ah, sorry.”
“Who are you texting that you can’t focus on the meeting?”
I waved a hand in apology.
Jeon Hyeong-u didn’t pry any further and turned back around.
Kim from Blue Pine Production was speaking with the SQ Distribution team leader in a grave tone about the VIP premiere schedule.
I put Lee Ha-eun out of my head for a moment and started focusing on the meeting.
“You do know we also need to pay attention to the premiere invitation list these days, right?”
“Of course. Depending on that list, everyone can see which celebrities have ties to whom and all that, can’t they?”
“Yes, so we’d like to invite celebrities with a bit of status if possible...”
The distribution team leader glanced at me.
“Did Seo Tae-jun or Lee Ha-eun mention anyone they particularly wanted to invite?”
Realizing it was my turn to step in, I got to my feet.
“I don’t think you need to worry about that part.”
“Oh, so you’ve already started reaching out?”
“Yes. Seo Tae-jun’s side is mostly being arranged through his personal acquaintances, and as for Lee Ha-eun...”
I paused for a beat, then said it more indirectly.
“I was thinking of inviting only film people, even among the folks she usually works with.”
“Oh? So you’re inviting colleagues from the industry, excluding personal acquaintances?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
The distribution team leader let out a low sound of admiration.
“As expected, Actress Lee Ha-eun thinks differently. To treat even a premiere like a work-related domain and make a choice like that.”
A vague smile settled at the corner of my mouth.
It’s not a work-related domain...
She’d been in the entertainment business for more than ten years, but as always, Lee Ha-eun’s flaw was her chronic, hopelessly awful personality.
Thanks to that personality, amazingly enough, she didn’t have a single real acquaintance in the industry.
So whenever she had a premiere like this, I’d usually put together the invitation list myself, and this time too I answered as much in that spirit when the distribution team leader, suddenly energized, declared,
“Our goal is three million.”
With that declaration, it finally started to sink in.
The day of battle was drawing near.
“If this movie wants to avoid being called a flop at the very least, it has to clear three million on the basis of break-even, everyone.”
Black Bride, starring Lee Ha-eun.
Its release day was right around the corner.
Once the VIP premiere schedule was settled, there was nowhere left to retreat.
The release of Black Bride was practically in front of me now, and at the same time, the environment and circumstances around me were growing more and more urgent.
Baekhak’s publicity team had gone into full campaign mode for Black Bride.
It was only natural, given that the company’s marquee actress herself was leading the film.
On top of that, both SQ Distribution and Blue Pine Production were preparing events to fit the schedule, and I arranged the actors’ promotional calendars to match that pace.
By the time I’d staggered through all of that in a daze, the VIP premiere was suddenly right on top of us.
From next week on, it was probably going to be a lot busier than I’d expected.
Once the VIP premiere ended, Black Bride would open immediately after.
That would mean traveling all over the country for theater visits, and the actors, along with the managers, would have almost no time to breathe.
And next week, Black Bride wouldn’t be the only event in play.
The ratings for K-Singer-Songwriter finally passed 20 percent.
In the meantime, at the semifinal stage, three of the remaining six contestants were eliminated, and only three moved directly on to the final round.
And among those three contestants... my singer made it proudly to the final stage.
To.Any’s leader, Park Ga-eul.
She was drawing huge popularity and shaking up the entire race for the win.
The girl who, at her first appearance, had been said to be lucky just to reach the final was now standing firmly as a title contender.
Because of that, the last week of April had become the most important week for Team 6.
Both To.Any and Black Bride... everything would probably be decided next week.
So when we held our regular meeting, even the faces of our Team 6 managers carried a little tension.
As for me, though, I wasn’t especially worried.
Anything could happen in this business, but even so, there are still result values.
Looking at the flow so far, the situation, the trend.
Given all of that... both Black Bride and K-Singer-Songwriter were absolutely not going to fail.
With that confidence, I met the weekend.
I rested well all day Saturday, then headed to Yeouido on Sunday.
As I sat on a bench by the Han River, smoking a cigarette, a familiar voice called out to me.
“Yo, Kwon Chan.”
When I slowly turned my head, a man in his late twenties with a rough-looking pair of glasses was staring back at me.
I lifted a hand in greeting.
“You came, Hyun-sung.”
“Yeah. So what’d you call me out here for?”
“I won the lottery.”
“?”
“I’m telling you this and only you. My life turned around.”
At my shocking confession, Im Hyun-sung, the Yeouido stockbroker, looked me up and down.
“...Did you have day drinking?”
A grin tugged at my mouth.
“I quit drinking, you jerk. Which means you need to help me out.”
“Help you with what, exactly, if you’re the one saying you won the lottery?”
“I’m thinking of starting a company.”
“A company? What kind of manager starts a company?”
Remembering the top ten independent films list for this year that the future texts had shown me, I made a proposal to my friend of ten years.
“Im Hyun-sung, work with me on something.”