Somehow I Ended Up Committing Incest
“Salute~ Sergeant Park Si-woo~ I’ve finally been discharged and I’m home!”
“Oi, you’re back?”
Even though I’d just been discharged and returned to my bickering stepmother, Hyo-jung met me with a face sharper and more sullen than ever.
“Seriously? My only son gets discharged and this is her reaction?”
“What the heck! You were still at home yesterday!”
“Mom… saying it like that hurts my feelings~”
“Feelings? What feelings… Have you eaten yet?”
Even as my only son, she still asked if I’d eaten. That blunt, overly familiar affection had remained unchanged ever since she stepped foot in this house twelve years ago.
“I ate while grabbing a light drink with my buddies!”
“If military rations taste this good, you should’ve just stayed and stuck a post!”
“What the hell are you saying? I suffered so much there…”
“You’re talking nonsense…”
“Why spout such crude words from those pretty lips?”
“Si-woo! Why the rush to join the army the second high school ended, just when everyone else was heading to college?”
The only things I’d grown in the military were my frame and my mouth, and I fired back just as fiercely.
“Home traditions~”
“What tradition is being so impatient?”
“Mom married again at twenty-four!”
“Yo! You little brat!”
My words finally triggered Mom, and she delivered a sharp smack to my backside. The satisfying sting of her palm sent a jolt of pain rippling through my entire body and I grimaced.
“Augh! It hurts!!!! What kind of woman has hands like fire?”
“You little brat! That’s why you keep saying that!”
“Mom was the one who said she was in a hurry!”
“Even if someone says they’re in a hurry, there are some things you just don’t do!”
“That’s the truth!”
“After coming home from the army this brat’s gotten some backbone!”
“Marrying a guy who already has a daughter at eight years old—what backbone is that?”
Her teasing made Mom pause and stare at me in disbelief. But the woman who had spent the last twelve years as a hardened veteran wasn’t about to let me off easy.
“With that backbone you’ve been cooking my meals, washing my panties for twelve years. You better remember how grateful you are.”
“Waaah!!!!”
The second smack landed perfectly on my backside and I had no choice but to rub my stinging back against the living-room floor.
“Augh… it hurts…”
“Shut that ugly mouth!”
“What ugly mouth? I’m talking!”
“Want another one?”
“No! But what about Dad?”
“He left on a business trip yesterday.”
“A business trip? Dad’s always on those trips!”
“He’s always so busy with work, right?”
The absence of Dad brought a small pang of loneliness, but it also meant a peaceful afternoon. I roughly changed my clothes, flopped onto the sofa, and grabbed the TV remote.
“Oh my… you haven’t changed at all!”
“If someone suddenly changes, that’s bad… and I suffered a lot in the military…”
“A guy who says he suffered can still have such fair skin? Did you never see the sun?”
“My fair skin is because I take after Dad…”
“Ugh… can’t you shut up and pass the remote! I want to watch drama!”
“Ah… seriously…”
Stripped of the remote, I grumbled as I headed to my room. The familiar scenery greeted me. On the desk sat the same old laptop I’d used before the army, and the air still felt exactly the same as it had the day I left.
“Sigh… even the house feels good.”
I lay face-up on the bed staring at the ceiling, savoring the rare moment of peace. Suddenly a scorching heat burst from my lower belly like a volcanic eruption.
My heart raced, blood rushed to one spot, and a dizzying sensation swept over me. I instinctively panted and dropped my gaze to my lower half.
In the middle of my uniform pants stood a magnificent tent rising as if it might pierce the sky at any second.
“Whoa… it’s… it’s here……!”
That was right. Before I got home, on the way to say goodbye to my buddies, I’d boldly swallowed the legendary “Blue Pill” in one gulp.
*Today’s my discharge day! Tonight I’m going to burn myself white from head to toe!*
With such grand ambitions and my ultimate weapon fully loaded, my foolish legs—habitually heading home in search of the couch—had abandoned me at the worst possible moment.
Outside my door, the living room played on with peaceful nonsense from a max-drama, but inside my room the air had turned as steamy as a tropical rainforest.
“Haa… haa… this is insane. What if the effects kick in right now!”
In the past one year and six months, my virile desires—suppressed and crushed by nothing but military rations and frozen meals—had long since broken their limit.
On top of that, I’d directly absorbed the ultimate modern miracle, the Blue Pill, so the “Sergeant Park Si-woo Junior” in my pants was standing at full attention, ready to be deployed at any second.
“No… I can’t end my discharge day in this room with just my own hand!”
This was a betrayal of myself and a dereliction of duty toward the three million won I’d saved on my paycheck days.
I sprang up like a spring, slammed the door shut, and pulled my smartphone from my pocket with trembling fingers. Today I was going to make sure it worked properly.
I opened the internet browser and furiously tapped keywords into the search bar like a beast in heat.
[Nearby good-service establishments]
[Discharged veterans welcome, ace hostesses]
[Places to burn hot tonight]
Every time I scrolled madly across the screen, flashy neon banners flashed and the silhouettes of aunts in sexy uniforms and fishnet stockings assaulted my nerves without mercy.
Each photo made the pressure in my pants grow proportionally.
“Ooooh……! Yes! This is it! This is the sticky air from the outside world I’d been longing for!”
I wiped the drool from my lips and felt adrenaline surge. Tonight, no matter what, I was going to unleash the pent-up desire I’d been saving up—even if it meant blowing all thirty million won in military savings.
“Wait for me, aunts. The newly discharged wild male is deploying now……!”
Eyes blazing, I carefully compared community ratings and real-time reviews, starting to seriously look for the holy battlefield that would calm my Black Flame Dragon for tonight.
The decisive moment.
I pressed my thumb down hard, packing the universe’s might and three million won’s capital, then slammed the call button with firm, quick force!
Zing—.
Right at that instant.
“……Eh?”
Instead of the cheerful ringtone I expected, my tightly gripped smartphone emitted a bizarre vibration.
And the brilliant screen that was supposed to lead me to erotic heaven…….
Crack! Zap— pop!
As if struck by lightning, the entire screen flashed an eerie geometric pattern of lime-green and purple stripes, then unleashed a blinding flash before going completely black.
Silence.
The suffocating quiet pressed heavily on the room. Instead of the sweet perfume scent, the air carried the acrid, burning-circuit smell rising faintly from inside the device.
“W-what? Is this a prank? You’re playing with me?!”
I denied reality and frantically pressed the power button on my phone over and over.
Press! Press! Press! Press! Press!
But it didn’t budge in the slightest. Not even the usual low-battery warning icon appeared. In growing panic I slapped the back of the phone with my palm, but the cold metal block felt just like a corpse whose soul had left.
“Ah, no! Crazy! Did the motherboard die?! Right now?! Why does it have to die right now!”
In the past one year and six months, my comrade the smartphone—steady as a rock through minus-twenty-degree cold-weather training and muddy ranges—had been heroically killed in my room on my discharge day.
“What the heck, you piece-of-junk phone! Die tomorrow then! At least let me make one call before you go! What am I supposed to do if you just die like this!”
I howled like a wounded beast and rolled around on the bed.
The “Sergeant Park Si-woo Junior” in my lower half still bulged massively under the Blue Pill’s fierce buff, ready to explode at any second, while my only lifeline and navigator—the smartphone—had become a perfect pile of scrap.
The more horrifying truth struck my mind.
“Wait… my thirty million won military savings… is it in the mobile banking app?!”
That was right. There was not a single won of cash. All the bullets were locked inside that broken machine. With the phone dead, I couldn’t withdraw money, couldn’t call a taxi, and couldn’t even search for the address of the ace hostess “Seol-ah” at the place.
“Mom! Is there any old airphone still working?! Or can you lend me your phone!!”
I finally flung open the door, grabbed the tented front of my pants with both hands in a clumsy grip, and shouted desperately toward the living room.
Mom’s icy glare stabbed straight into my chest. The Blue Pill’s firepower was now racing toward the peak of Mount Everest, but the only communication device connecting me to the outside world had turned ice-cold, and every possible means was completely cut off.