Before Departure (1)

Jimin snorted as he looked at the messages.

Even setting the stream aside, the simple fact that Dahye was watching his matches made Jimin happy.

"……"

Even though the day hadn't quite ended yet, Jimin couldn't forget his mother's tears at the finals. She had always worn a sad expression more often than not, but she had never been one to cry easily.

So that's how it was.

Looking back, his mother had been a remarkably strong person even when he was little. No matter how many crises came, she never broke down in tears.

From Jimin's perspective, that was nonsense.

"Huh?"

In that instant Jimin's full attention locked onto his phone screen.

"……"

Gulp.

Jimin's mind spun at high speed. He had no real basis for the feeling, but something told him he shouldn't drag this out.

If she had told him to take his time and think it over carefully, it would have taken him quite a while—but Jimin didn't do that.

"Please."

Suddenly that day rose up in Jimin's mind—the day he had gone to the movies with Lee Eunhae. A completely ordinary guy-girl outing. Something that almost looked like flirting, like dating. They had watched a movie and grabbed a meal afterward. Looking back on it now, though, what Jimin had really wanted was to do all of that with Dahye.

Of course he had absolutely no intention of doing that, but he answered yes for now.

"Yes!"

Jimin threw a body blow into empty air.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh?"

His mother, who had been watching the whole spectacle, spoke up.

"I thought you were streaming."

"Uh, yeah. Bathroom break."

"Get your head on straight."

"……"

Mother and son who had shed tears together in front of a crowd of well over ten thousand. Once they were home, his mother had already forgotten all of it and returned to being her usual self.

"Ahem."

Jimin went back to the stream.

"Yes, sorry. Had something on my face so I went to wash up."

Jimin made the excuse on the spot. Thinking about it, there was no cam anyway—he could have just texted on the sly—but he had gotten far too used to streaming from the team house streaming room.

"Alright, let's go back over today's match a bit."

He jumped straight into content. The match VOD review segment he had been enjoying lately.

Though, honestly…

It did feel a little like freeloading.

"Yes, honestly when I locked in Vladimir I was a little self-conscious about it. Because I said I was pretty confident on him."

Jimin made his confession about Game 1. In scrims he had stuck to solid comfort picks and still won thanks to how good his teammates' form was, but in Game 1 he had gone for a carry-oriented champion with a bit of his own preference baked in.

Jimin slowly reviewed Game 1 of the finals.

"Wait, what? Minhyeok hyung's growth in this game was absurd."

He stared in amazement at the CS and level gap between his team's jungle Nidalee and the enemy's Xin Zhao.

"We almost died here and came back, right?"

Vladimir's performance, ripping the enemy team apart in the teamfight. Jimin spoke with a swagger in his voice.

"……"

Jimin smiled as he watched the chat. With his face hidden for the moment, he let himself make the most childish, sly expressions he wanted.

Still, though.

The viewers loved it so much he simply couldn't not do these match review streams.

"Ah, so close, hahaha."

He showed his own play from Game 2, where he had taken a few ganks.

"But my teammates were playing so well on the bottom side. Even if I died a little I just kept shoving the lane."

Of course, dying while pushing and pressuring the opponent meant the loss wasn't that big. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠While the enemy jungler burned turns on him, his teammates—who had been in truly excellent form—had dismantled the other side.

"Game 2 really did go pretty cleanly for us as a team."

Both from his own memory and looking at it now, Game 2 felt like a smooth team win.

"Wow, bot lane was actually insane here."

Game 3. Jimin praised the Rapid–Durandal bot duo's play.

"……"

One particular chat line caught Jimin's eye. To the viewers it must have looked like the duo hadn't been practicing together long. But Jimin knew exactly how much those two had ground. They were also the two who fought the most over Sol in the practice room—though Sangjin usually let the other win.

"Akali is genuinely strong once she gets through laning phase cleanly and gets her items."

Jimin said it modestly. And then that moment approached.

"Yes, a lot of the enemy's cooldowns got burned here."

Wukong had gotten caught right before Baron, but the other side had wasted resources too.

"Land the shurikens here, and ahem."

The pentakill moment was coming, chat scrolling at full speed. Jimin paced the replay carefully as he advanced the footage.

"Yeah, Jun and Junyeong hyung deliberately didn't take the last hits."

The pentakill completed by his teammates' consideration ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠landed just like that.

"……"

As a pro player, and as a streamer—Jimin felt truly happy in that moment.

"Ah, this one."

As he advanced the video, a certain clip came up.

"Mm."

It was a little cringey, and a little moving, all at once.

"Ah, but earlier when I was eating with Mom she said, 'You're a player, shouldn't you at least speak properly all the way through?' Hahaha."

Jimin shared the cute little anecdote. Another thing he had learned about his mother today: she was a woman who was weak to these kinds of secondhand-embarrassment moments.

"Yes, thank you. Please keep supporting us a lot going forward, and P1's YouTube said they're properly filming content so look forward to that too."

Jimin wrapped up with his closing remarks.

"……"

Sitting in this room, he suddenly remembered the old days when he had only been a streamer. Back then, as Park Jimin the person rather than a P1 player, ending the stream whenever he wanted had been entirely up to him. Maybe that was why every time he hit the end stream button, a lump had formed in his throat.

"Thank you."

This time, just like then, Jimin ended the stream with difficulty.

"……"

Jimin had wireless earbuds in and was watching a YouTube video. He didn't know the woman streamer, but the moment the nexus exploded she ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠just broke down sobbing on the spot.

"Hoo."

All he could say was thank you. For them to get this moved and this invested in a P1 championship win.

"Hup."

Of course, the clock dragged him back to reality.

11:20.

With ten minutes left until the time he was supposed to meet Dahye, Jimin's heart was pounding.

"Been waiting long?"

"Huh?"

Jimin clutched his racing chest and stood up.

"Nuna."

"Knew you'd be early."

Dahye grinned.

"……"

How was a mask supposed to hide something that naturally shone? A few days past Cheoseo, her clothes sat right on the border between summer and autumn—no skin showing, and still she was captivating.

"But if we go straight into the movie, won't you be hungry?"

"Me? What about you, Nuna?"

"I'm fine."

"Then I'm fine too."

"Tch."

"……"

He had sworn he wouldn't do this, and yet in front of Dahye his words sped up again and he couldn't figure out where to look. Leaving the flustered Jimin behind, Dahye took the lead.

"Didn't know you liked this kind of thing, Jimin."

"Yeah? Hahaha."

He had put real thought into the choice. The recently released animated film by Japanese director Kishima Ryuto, From Zero, Just the Two of Us. The fact that couples had been going to see it a lot lately was what had drawn Jimin in.

"It's been forever since I've been to a movie."

"Really?"

The dark theater. Popcorn set between them, waiting for the film to start.

"……"

Jimin snuck a glance at Dahye.

She's pretty.

Indoors, mask off, he could freely look at her profile from right beside her. Since becoming a pro he had somehow ended up seeing a lot of pretty women, but none of them had ever stimulated him the way Dahye did.

"It's starting."

"Shh."

"……"

For someone who claimed it had been forever, Dahye kept excellent theater etiquette and shushed him.

"……"

Jimin glanced around a little, then tilted his head. The movie looked like a typical youth romance, and yet it was strangely complicated. Setting aside the usual Japanese-style tangled adolescent interiority, something about it was just… opaque.

Swoosh.

Jimin put his left hand into the popcorn bucket.

"Ah!"

And felt something warm. Not popcorn—he had brushed Dahye's hand.

"Sorry."

He whispered as quietly as he could.

"……"

Ah!

Suddenly Dahye leaned her face toward him. (What are you sorry for?) She whispered it right into his ear. When Jimin looked over again she was snickering to herself.

"……"

At some point the movie stopped registering.

"Aaaahh!"

Dahye stretched. The movie was over. Jimin snuck a look around. Couples, every last one of them. The closest alternative was pairs of girls.

"What even was that."

"So weird."

"Ha, I was so moved."

"For real?"

Jimin eavesdropped on the nearby couples' reactions. They were so different from each other it was hard to believe they had watched the same film. And by Jimin's standards?

Hmm.

Truly opaque. Everything was fine until it pretended to be a romance movie and then just… didn't connect at the end. What was that about.

"Did you understand what it was about?"

"Huh?"

Dahye asked him.

"A little?"

"Really? You're smart. I found it kind of hard to follow."

"Hahahaha."

Jimin immediately regretted what he had said.

"I'm gonna hit the bathroom real quick."

"Okay!"

Dahye headed for the restroom.

Thud-thud-thud.

Jimin whipped out his phone and started searching everywhere.

Well, he had claimed to understand it, so the second she came back he needed to act like he knew. At least spoiler concerns were gone now.

"……"

What is this guy even saying.

Was a hard-to-follow movie required to have hard-to-follow explanations too?

And who had time to go see it twice. If it weren't for Dahye he wouldn't even want to watch it again.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you look so serious?"

"Ah, no reason."

"Did you read some hate comments or something?"

"Hahaha."

Jimin scratched his head. The attempt to look knowledgeable had failed.

"What's that over there?"

"Hm?"

Dahye pointed. There were some really cute dolls set up, and people were taking photos in front of a mirror.

"Some kind of photo zone, I guess."

"……"

Sudden courage bloomed in Jimin's chest.

"Nuna, I want to take a picture there too."

"Hm?"

Dahye looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"You like that kind of thing?"

"Ah, I just wanted to try it once."

"Yeah? Hmm."

Jimin snuck a look at her face for cues.

"Alright. It is wish-granting day for Jimin, after all."

"Thanks."

A mirror decorated with cute dolls. Standing there, Jimin took a photo with his phone.

Click.

"Hoo……"

"Oh, you're pretty good at taking pictures."

"Yeah?"

I'm losing it.

Taking a photo with Dahye. Having that photo on his own phone. Proof that he and Dahye had existed in the same moment, together. Jimin felt joy so intense it tipped over into reverence.

"……Huh?"

And then his expression suddenly turned serious.

"You're tall, so the photos come out nice."

Even with Dahye smiling and complimenting him from the side, the words barely registered.

"……Thanks."

Jimin forced a smile with just his mouth.

"I'm stuffed."

"Yeah."

Movie watched, meal eaten, Jimin and Dahye stepped outside.

"Got some time left before you leave the country?"

"Not much. We have to get over there and adapt fast."

"Pro life is rough."

"Haha."

The Sol World Championship, held in Shanghai, China. There wasn't that much time left before departure.

"Nuna."

"Yeah?"

"Can I see you one more time before I leave?"

"Out of nowhere?"

Hearing him, Dahye snorted a little laugh.

"……"

Please.

"I'll try."

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

Jimin's face lit up in an instant.

"Hoo……"

P1 team house. During the free time built into his personal routine, Jimin sat in a chair staring blankly into space.

Dahye Nuna.

Coming back from a date with Dahye only made the feelings grow. Even his resolution to hold back these hasty feelings until next year was starting to shake.

"Haa."

Jimin looked at the photo he had taken with Dahye.

"What is this."

Her pale, pretty legs weren't what caught his eye right then. What his gaze went to was his own legs in black slacks.

They're too skinny.

He thought of the story of Liu Bei from the Three Kingdoms sighing over his withered thighs. Jimin found himself relating. Dahye had thin legs too, but as a guy he was right there with her.

Why didn't I notice.

He had never paid attention to it since he was little, and now suddenly his own body looked pathetic to him.

Swoosh.

He rolled up the sleeve of the clothes he wore for practice. Not just the legs—the muscle on his arms existed purely for function, not for any aesthetic physique.

"I can't leave it like this."

Once Worlds ended and he came back, the new year would be right around the corner. He couldn't just wait around idly until then. Before that, he wanted to show Dahye a version of himself as a man—himself, just a little more refined.

YouTube is full of people with great bodies.

Not much time until the next meeting. Short window, but he had to create some kind of change. Anyone who heard the idea would probably snort, but right now Jimin was more serious about it than anyone.

"Oh, what."

"Hello."

The place Jimin had sought out was the training room inside the P1 team house. A facility better than most commercial gyms—and the team's mid laner, Kim Junyeong, was already there.

"Came to work out?"

"Yes."

"What wind blew you in here."

"Just thought it might help a bit."

"Working out's good for you."

"Oh! Jimin."

"Yes, hyung!"

Jimin called out to Minhyeok, who was grinding through weights. The people in the training room had been Kim Junyeong and Jo Minhyeok. With Jimin's arrival, P1's top half of the map was complete.

Whoa.

Minhyeok's body, pumped from lifting, was truly impressive. And looking closer, Junyeong wasn't on Minhyeok's level but was pretty well trained himself.

Still.

A body like Minhyeok's was unrealistic. For now, Jimin decided to aim for Junyeong.

"Ahem."

Jimin first stood in front of a machine he had seen countless times in media.

"Hoooo! Uwaaaaah!"

"……"

Minhyeok was visible, clad in the sports brand clothes that customarily only people who could put up 500+ on the big three lifts were allowed to wear, roaring as he trained—but for now Jimin was going to start as a beginner.

It's a little scary, first of all.

Actually trying to work out, lower body stuff made him hesitate, and for upper body, picking up a barbell felt intimidating. Instead Jimin headed for a machine that would let him do bench press.

"Jimin, looks like you haven't done this much."

"Hahaha."

Before he even started, Junyeong next to him had already clocked him as a beginner.

"How do I do this."

"Just try it first."

"Huh?"

The tone had sounded like he was about to teach something, and then he just told him to try. Jimin decided to go along with it.

"I think my form's going to be messy."

"The messier the better, actually?"

"……"

What does that mean.

Jimin set a light weight and pressed.

"Uuuuugh!"

Messy form and breathing. Jimin was doing labor, not exercise.

KRAAAAAASH—!

"Hup!"

A sound like a building collapsing. Jimin spun around in shock. It was Minhyeok, who had been doing heavy squats, racking the bar.

"Hoo……"

And then he suddenly walked toward Jimin.

"S-sorry."

In the Rift he was a reliable jungler. In reality he was a massive guy, and as he approached, Jimin had no idea what he had done wrong but apologized first. More than anything, the normally good-natured Minhyeok had a twisted look on his face.

"Haa, Jimin."

"……Yes?"

"You can't work out like that."

Minhyeok sighed, looking like he was about to die of frustration.

"Come out of there, and watch how hyung does it."

"Uh, yes yes."

Jimin stood up immediately.

Snort.

"……"

Junyeong, whose eyes met Jimin's, grinned.