A Quirky Guide Who's Not My Type
This world was probably a medieval fantasy bishoujo gacha game. I could tell right away from the bustling streets and the endless parade of people passing by. The architecture of the buildings and everyone's outfits were straight out of your typical fantasy game. And as expected from a bishoujo gacha game, the men were all bland as hell, while the women were drop-dead gorgeous, decked out in shamelessly skimpy clothes. Especially the ones carrying weapons or looking like fighters—they all had plunging necklines or miniskirts, to the point where just walking by and sightseeing was enough to make my dick ache.
Haah, a street full of sluts like this, and not a single guy passing by calls them out. Are they all eunuchs, or is their sex knowledge really that utterly fucked?
"Ahem ahem, you there, sturdy sir~ Mind sparing a moment~?"
I'd been wandering aimlessly, taking in the sights, when suddenly someone called out to me. Turning toward the voice, I spotted a woman approaching, hunched over with her waist bent low, rubbing her hands together eagerly. Her face wasn't stunning like the guards I'd met earlier. Her body was pretty much flat as a board, so she wasn't exactly turning me on. But the way she rubbed her hands with that shady grin was quirky enough to pique my interest in this new world. In a street packed with pure, chaste whores, she stood out as an unexpected irregularity...
"Yeah, you calling me?"
"Oh yes, sir. Among all the men passing by, who could be as impressive as you~?"
She sidled closer with a sly smile, asking me that.
"You stood out so much, I watched you for a bit. You seemed to be wandering around a lot. So I have to ask... Is this your first time in the city~?"
"Yeah, pretty much. I came to when I realized I was around here."
"Oh dear, you 'came to' right here? Did some weird magic sweep you up and drop you on the opposite side of the continent or something~?"
"...Not entirely wrong."
"It happens sometimes~ You know, adventurers exploring dungeons hit a teleport trap and end up in some acidic, festering wasteland overrun with monsters, right~?"
Haha, classic trap from those user-torturing games. With examples like that, it really feels like I'm in some game world. But at the same time, I couldn't help feeling a bit wary of her cozying up like this to start a conversation.
"You approached me for something, right? What do you want?"
"Oh, me? As if I'd dare tell a fine sir like you what to do~? I just saw you struggling in this unfamiliar place and thought I'd offer a little help~ Of course, I'd take a tiny fee for it~"
The mysterious woman rubbed her hands even more vigorously, flashing her teeth. She kinda reminded me of a sleazy con artist. I pulled out the coin pouch I'd taken from the bandit earlier and dangled it in front of her.
"This is all the money I've got right now. That enough?"
"Hmm, let me see... Yeah, this should do~"
She might be trying to rip off some clueless foreigner who doesn't know prices. If she tried to scam me, I'd beat her ass on the spot. Keeping that in mind, she took two coins from the pouch and stepped back.
"Yep~ That'll cover it~"
"That's all it takes?"
It was less than half what I'd paid at the gate.
"Oh, a newbie like me has to know her place and live modestly~ Helping folks in trouble and scraping by day to day is plenty for my life~"
She's content with small change to stay in her lane? Sounded almost charitable, but I still didn't trust her motives fully.
"Alright, payment received. Mind if I give you a quick tour of the city~?"
"Sure, why not. Thanks."
What if she drags me to some dark alley to sell me to a gang? Keeping even that possibility in mind, she led me along, chattering excitedly about the city.
"This is the central square. Roads lead out in every direction, so once you're here, you can head anywhere. Meaning if you get lost wandering the city, just make your way back to the square—you won't be totally screwed~"
"This area's the inn alley~ Mostly for out-of-towners or day-laborers like me. Even among inns, some are worth the price and some aren't, so pick carefully. Oh, I stay at this one—it's a bit pricier than others, but the owner was a famous adventurer, so it's safe and reliable~"
"Over here is the workshop district~ Blacksmiths and shops selling their goods. Perfect for buying gear or selling ores and materials. But funnily enough, I don't know much about it myself~ I don't really mix with adventurers... Hehe, disappointed~?"
...This chick. I half-suspected she'd drag me to some back alley to rob me blind, but she's actually giving a solid tour.
"There we go~ That's the rundown on the main streets. The rest are upper-class areas or slums, so sorry I can't show those~"
"Thanks, that helped a lot."
"Oh, no problem at all~ Helping folks in need is my life's joy~ Kishishi~"
She brushed it off with that same suspicious grin. Watching her, my initial wariness started to fade. Then she tossed a casual question my way.
"By the way, sir. Planning to stick around the city long?"
"Yeah, probably. No way back to where I was anyway."
"Then you'll need a place to work while you're here... Oh, right. Are you any good in a fight~?"
"Fight, huh."
I glanced around the alley we were in. Spotting a brick on the ground, I picked it up and squeezed lightly. It crumbled with a crunch under my grip.
"This level okay?"
"Eek~ Impressive indeed~ With that strength, adventuring for a living would be a breeze~"
"Adventuring?"
"It's a job where you take on quests, wander around earning money and fame. No check on background or origin as long as you're not a criminal. Seems perfect for someone like you, dropped in a strange place~"
Hmm, adventurer. Makes sense—no background or cash to my name, so a job that doesn't care about that and pays is ideal right now.
"Where do I sign up for that?"
"Oh, if that's what you want, I'll tell you right away~ This way~"
Following her, we arrived at a massive building in the bustling district. Armed folks were everywhere—clearly a hub for fighters.
"Sadly, I'm no adventurer, so this is as far as I can guide you. Talk to the guild staff from here. Job's done, so I'll head out coolly~"
"You're just leaving?"
"Hey, I do what I'm paid for~ But my wish to help is genuine, so I hope you navigate your troubles safely~"
She stepped back gracefully. Feeling oddly touched by her doing nothing but good till the end, I called her back.
"Wait. Mind if I get your name? I owe you one; should know who to thank."
"Haha, for a fine sir like you to ask my name—quite an honor."
She turned to me with a deep smile.
"They call me Mania, the errand girl who serves eye-catching folks around the city to scrape by day to day~ If fate allows, see you again~"
"Got it, Mania. I'll remember."
She left without hesitation. Even after some time passed, her name lingered in my mind. Not as attractive as the other women around, but she was the first to show me kindness in this strange world.
Yeah, that's a favor. If I see her again, I should thank her properly. Of course, that means becoming an adventurer and making it big first.
"Excuse me, I heard you can become an adventurer here."
Inside the building, I pushed through the crowd to the counter. The male staffer looked up with a bland face.
"Yes. First time at the Adventurer's Guild?"
"Yeah. Problem is, no ID or proof of identity... That okay?"
"Of course. As long as no criminal record, the guild's open to anyone. Fill out this form."
True to rumors, no hassle—he handed me the paper. Scanning it, I frowned at the "Name" field.
Name, huh. This is a fantasy world, so maybe ditch my old name for something new. Something cool...
Hmm, yeah. A real man aims to be a Chad.
"Name's Chad."
"Got it, Chad. Registered, and face scan complete. We'll make your adventurer card based on this—come back tomorrow to pick it up."
"Easier than I thought."
"Yeah, getting qualified is simple. Raising your rank is another story."
Entry's easy, mastery hard. But with my cheats, I can crush most things.
"Puhaha! Get a load of this. Another clueless idiot thinks he can be an adventurer!"
A voice from behind. Turning, I saw a rough-looking woman at a table smirking at me. Skimpy outfit showing off a sensual figure, ripped abs peeking through.
"This is why I hate the guild's policies. Sure, quests pile up and manpower's short, but letting in unproven scrubs? Now every loser adventurer drags down the water. Yeah, you!"
She slammed the table and strode toward me. Nearby adventurers watched, some gasping.
"Here she goes again."
"C-rank adventurer Mitobe... Infamous for killing newbies' spirits. Always hazing rookies, chasing them off..."
"Eh, can't blame her. All these no-talent scrubs make us look bad too."
Half cringing, half agreeing. Reading the room, I faced her sneer and grumbled softly.
"Guess you don't like me much."
"Duh? Big lug with no decent weapon. Oh, you know how to use mana? You can't be that stupid, right?"
Haa, what a pain. In this male-oriented gacha world where women are OP, seems the women out-alpha the guys.
"If you're so curious, test me yourself."
But I kinda liked it. Crushing her here proves my strength to everyone. And schooling a bully? Self-defense in this world.
"What?"
"You said test if I'm adventurer material yourself?"
You fucking bitch. Unlike that girl I just left, I won't fuck you gently.