A Safe Chodaenam
"Huh?"
Did I hear her right?
I had even prepared myself for a breakup. Her response left me utterly dumbfounded.
"Y-You want to do it?"
"...Yes."
It was probably the most unreasonable request I had ever made since we started dating.
Although she didn't hide the fact that she was doing it reluctantly, she nodded in response to my question.
Ironically, my first thought was worry for her.
Seeun wasn't like Eunchae.
Her personality, her tastes, her way of speaking, and her background—she was not the kind of woman who belonged in a world like this.
The painful realization that all of this stemmed from my own selfish greed pierced my chest once again.
Did she read the expression on my face? Seeun hesitated for a moment, then slowly stepped closer and wrapped her arms tightly around me without a word.
"You don't have to do it."
I barely managed to squeeze the words out, not even sure if I meant them. Seeun shook her head.
"...I mean it. I'm sorry. Let's just forget I ever brought it up."
"No. If we're going to do it, let's just get it over with quickly."
"Really... No, you don't have to."
Seeun buried herself in my chest again. After a brief silence, her quiet voice drifted up.
"Just once. And after that, never again!"
"..."
"I'll do my best too... so after this, I want you to only look at me. Okay?"
Seeun loved me. She was forcing herself to do something she hated, just this once, because of that love.
What made me feel truly disgusting was that, even with such a lovely girlfriend right in front of me, my mind was already imagining the two of us becoming accustomed to it—just like Yeongwoo and Eunchae.
Get a grip, you crazy bastard...
Just once.
If she didn't have a change of heart, I would make this the absolute last time and spend the rest of our relationship looking only at her.
But what if...
I thought back to the various couples I had read about. According to the candid reviews of those who practiced Netorase, many women had initially agreed to it reluctantly, just for a single time.
Yet, after that first experience, their attitudes shifted. They allowed it a second time. Then a third. In most cases, they continued the lifestyle.
I was a real piece of trash.
The more I tried to suppress it, the more I secretly hoped she would change like that. Even though I knew it wasn't what she wanted.
Yeongwoo and Eunchae were the ultimate justification for my trashy desires. Even while enjoying Chodaenam play, their affection for each other remained incredibly deep. No matter who stepped between them, not a single crack appeared in their relationship.
Seeing a couple right next to me who, far from breaking up, actually enjoyed this lifestyle, gave me a sense of reassurance.
"...I'm sorry. No, thank you."
My greed to reach that point was still far too strong.
"Sigh, damn it... What do I do now?"
I had managed to secure this single, precious opportunity, but my worries were far from over. The immediate problem was deciding who to invite.
Looking at how others did it, invitations were usually arranged through social media. The requirements for applicants often included photos, STD test results... and sometimes, if necessary, photos of the man's genitals.
It made sense. When you had no idea who was behind the account, even those precautions felt barely sufficient to filter out potential disasters.
I had created a new social media account myself, but the anxiety wouldn't go away. What if, despite all the screening, the guy turned out to be a complete psychopath?
It wasn't that I didn't cherish Seeun. She was the person I loved more than anyone else in the world...
The terrifying possibility of running into a lunatic held me back.
Man... How on earth did Yeongwoo-hyeong even start this in the beginning?
For a split second, I considered confessing everything to Yeongwoo and asking for advice on finding a Chodaenam, but I shook my head. That was a bad idea.
We were close. In my narrow social circle, he was probably my closest male friend.
I felt guilty toward Yeongwoo, who had openly shared his lifestyle and even invited me to watch them, but...
I simply didn't have the guts to lay all my cards on the table like that.
Being too close is its own kind of problem...
What about guys from school whose names I barely knew?
If rumors got out about Seeun, how could I ever face her? I couldn't ask them.
I was too terrified to find a stranger online, yet I couldn't bring myself to ask anyone I knew.
Although Seeun hadn't set a deadline for her promise of "just once," things had become somewhat awkward between us since then. She didn't want to do it, but if it had to happen, she wanted to get it over with. Her reluctance was painfully obvious.
Letting time slip away while I wallowed in indecision was becoming unbearable for me too.
Ah, if only someone would appear—someone I'm not too close with, but who is reasonably trustworthy.
Of course, life was never that convenient.
A week passed after her promise, and with no other options in sight, I finally resolved to post on social media. As I scratched my head, trying to figure out how to write an attention-grabbing recruitment post—
Ding.
"Huh?"
I received a message.
"...Ha, Kang Wonchul!"
Since my discharge, I hadn't really kept in touch with anyone left in the military. Aside from sending a small mobile gift to my squad members once, there had been absolutely nothing.
So I had put them out of my mind entirely, but...
In the profile picture, a massive man with a short, military-style buzz cut was smiling brightly, practically screaming that he had just been discharged.
Kang Wonchul. He was my military junior, and we had been quite close.
Right, Wonchul... It is about time for him to get discharged.
Seeing the name "Jason Kang" written instead of "Kang Wonchul" brought back a flood of memories.
Wonchul, who was six months behind me in service, was actually older than me.
He had enlisted late, at the age of twenty-five, after completing his bachelor's degree in the United States and returning to Korea.
At first, I had felt awkward dealing with a junior who was several years older than me, but he was so easygoing that he quickly adapted, and there were always people gathered around him.
He had a great personality, clean-cut good looks, and a towering height of 190 centimeters.
His massive frame was packed with dense muscle. In fact, the whole reason I had started working out in the first place was because of him.
A minor fitness craze had swept through our unit, but I was probably the most serious about it. Wonchul had actively helped me with my training, and we eventually became close enough that I could confide in him.
After I became a Sergeant, I jokingly tried calling him "Wonchul-hyeong" like the others did, but he seemed a bit embarrassed by it and insisted on using polite speech with me until the day I was discharged.
I remember now. I guess I can call him Wonchul-hyeong now that we're both out.
Just as I was about to type a reply out of sheer nostalgia, the draft of the social media post I had been writing caught my eye.
I had been on the verge of looking for a stranger online, swallowed by anxiety because I couldn't find any other way...
But now, he had appeared.
Someone I was friendly with, yet who maintained a comfortable distance. Someone with clean-cut looks who left a pleasant impression on everyone.
Someone who took immaculate care of himself—no STD test required—and who was naturally polite and well-mannered.
After exchanging brief, warm greetings, I hurriedly sent a reply.
And just like that, I set up a meeting with him.
"Ayy, Sergeant Jang Minjae!"
As soon as I walked into the cafe, a man recognized me and approached. Towering height, a deep yet clear voice, and a confident stride. Seeing Kang Wonchul after all this time, I realized he had already completely shed his military look.
"It's been a while. How have you been?"
As he offered his hand for a handshake, my memories of him as a military junior quickly faded. Wow, he looks so mature.
"I guess... I should call you Wonchul-hyeong now, right? Haha..."
"If that's comfortable for you, sure. Hmm, should I start speaking casually too?"
"Y-Yeah, go ahead. Man, this is awkward."
In the end, we reached an awkward agreement to speak casually to each other, with me calling him "Hyeong."
"Looks like you've still been working out consistently. I was worried you'd lose your muscle after getting discharged."
"I try to squeeze it in whenever I have free time."
"That's good."
"And you, Hyeong... you seem to be doing well. What have you been up to since discharge?"
"I stayed at my family's place in the States for a bit, then came right back to Korea."
Wonchul-hyeong didn't go into detail, but he subtly let it slip that he already had a job lined up at a major conglomerate. But right now, none of that mattered.
My mind was entirely consumed by how and when I should invite him into our bed.
His attitude toward me wasn't much different from back in the military. He showed no signs of post-discharge restlessness, maintaining a mature demeanor and a comfortable distance while leading the conversation in a friendly manner.
Seeing him like this, I began to feel a creeping dread about how his expression would change once I made my proposal.
"Hey, Wonchul... Hyeong."
"Yeah?"
"I, uh, have something to tell you. To be honest, that's why I wanted to meet up today."
"What is it? Haha, tell me."
I followed Wonchul-hyeong to the building's parking lot.
With a sharp beep, the headlights of a car flashed. It was a luxury foreign car that completely overshadowed the vehicles around it.
"Get in."
"Oh, okay."
As I sat in the passenger seat, a pleasant scent, reminiscent of a woman's perfume, brushed past my nose.
"Check the navigation. You said I should drop you off here, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's the place."
I sat quietly, staring out the window as we drove, when he spoke.
"So, Minjae."
"Yeah?"
"You want me to hold her just once. Your girlfriend. Right? That's what you were talking about earlier."
"...Yeah."
Wonchul-hyeong hadn't shown much of a reaction when I made the request. He didn't look shocked or flustered. He had simply raised an eyebrow and stared at me intently.
"Cuckolding. Heh."
...Did he just laugh?
Just now, right after he quietly muttered that English word I couldn't quite catch, it definitely looked like he smirked. Though he quickly covered his mouth with his hand and returned to his usual expression.
"Alright."
"Huh?"
"I said okay. Just pick a date and time and let me know in advance. I have my own schedule to manage."
"Y-You'll do it?"
"I said I would."
Just like that? He agreed to be the Chodaenam so easily?
"Unless there's something else I need to know?"
"N-No... I haven't really thought that far ahead yet..."
"Okay."
Wonchul-hyeong replied nonchalantly and kept driving.
Had I been overthinking this? No, there was no way this was a normal reaction...
Regardless, now that the biggest hurdle had been cleared, the heavy weight in my chest lifted slightly.
My attention was drawn once again to the sheer luxury of the car I was riding in. Come to think of it, the exterior had looked incredible too. Wasn't this that famous brand? The ride was so smooth it was hard to believe the car was even moving.
And then, my eyes finally landed on Wonchul-hyeong's wrist as he steered.
Adorning his wrist, looking as if it had always belonged there, was a watch that easily cost over ten million won.
"Wonchul-hyeong, that's a really nice watch."
"Heh, you think so?"
Wonchul-hyeong smiled naturally, completely unfazed.
I didn't know much about luxury brands, but looking at him again, even his clothes and shoes screamed expensive. He had rarely talked about himself in the military, so I had only guessed that his family was wealthy. It seemed my guess was right.
Everything had gone exactly the way I wanted.
Yet... I couldn't shake a strange, unsettling feeling as I stared out the window at the passing scenery.