So This Is What You Like (2)
How was I supposed to describe this feeling?
Defeat? Guilt? It was clearly a mixture of both.
Jealousy. The rage I could never detonate or display—because I was the one who had sent her to Won-chul—pounded against the ceiling of my heart.
I knew Won-chul’s cock. It was far bigger, thicker, and longer than mine. And I had watched with my own eyes just how easily that thing had made Se-eun finish. Afterward, when I held her, my movements had been desperate. His had not. He drove into her at his own unhurried pace, as if he still had plenty left in the tank, and Se-eun had cried out moans she had never made with me and come.
Even in that place I didn’t know about, she must have looked like that…
Fuck, fuck…
The hand working my cock tightened. The image of Se-eun in Won-chul’s arms, that scream, felt far too real to be fantasy. When she had been reporting to me her tone had seemed calm at a glance, yet I could tell it was different from her usual self. Throughout the report she had kept touching me and watching my face, as if checking whether the situation was turning me on. And that… that had been unbearably hot.
“Ugh…!”
The semen that finally burst out was strangely, almost absurdly copious. My body cooled. The storm of emotion, and my own denial of the self that accepted it, faded one by one. What remained was the simple fact that I treasured Se-eun—and the question of how yesterday’s experience had been carved into my heart.
The date felt like it had been ages since the last one. Restaurants, cafés, a movie. Familiar places, yet I felt the same fluttering excitement as when we had first started going out. There were too many versions of me inside. Among them was clearly the me who simply wanted us to love each other in an ordinary way. I had decided not to bring any of it up today.
But—
“Mmph!”
The moment we stepped into the studio apartment Se-eun shoved me back and crushed her mouth to mine. Her tongue slid straight inside, teasing, nothing like her usual cute kisses. We had been having sex more often since the first time we invited Won-chul to a motel, yet she had never started like this. Under that rough play of her tongue my hands were already pushing her top up. Then those two full, heavy breasts appeared above her slender waist. Matching her tempo I stroked them roughly upward.
“Haang….”
A sultry moan slipped out and she pressed herself even closer. Why was she like this? The expression, the gestures, the reactions—I had seen them before. Yet today’s Se-eun was somehow far, far too lewd… and beautiful. In an instant we had stripped each other and tumbled onto the bed. I had gotten pretty good at unhooking bras by now. Se-eun lay beneath me; her huge breasts spilled gently outward, unable to support their own weight.
The sight of her looking up at me with her head thrown back ignited a lust no man could resist.
Con—condom. Hurry.
I started to rise, remembering I had left them on the bedside table—
A soft tug.
Huh?
Se-eun’s arms locked around my forearm and refused to let go.
“…Se-eun?”
“….”
Flushed, she held my gaze for a long moment, then turned her head and whispered,
“…I, um… it’s….”
I swallowed. I wasn’t an idiot. I could easily guess why she had stopped me. Still, the doubt that it might not be true lingered stubbornly.
“…It’s a safe day.”
Crazy… bareback?
Because of the invitation-man fetish that had woken inside me, I had tried to accommodate Se-eun in everything. It wasn’t that the thought of going without a condom had never crossed my mind, but I had never wanted her to think I didn’t cherish her, so I had never asked.
“Is it really okay… without a condom? Really?”
My own voice sounded ridiculously stupid. Se-eun toyed with her lower lip and nodded. After that second permission I didn’t ask again. Her pussy was already wet and glistening. The head of my cock touched her entrance.
“Ah.”
Little by little the bare cock sank inside. Just the absence of a single thin layer of latex made the pleasure leap several times higher.
“Hnn, ah…!”
The folds of her tight pussy squeezed and coiled around me one after another. Every time I pushed into that warm, slick passage I felt the soft squirm of her lower belly completely. It felt as if my hips would give out. The joined cock urged me into pistoning thrusts on its own and I had no will to resist. My hands moved of their own accord as well, caressing her as if even this wasn’t enough.
“Nngh, h-honeyyy… haah, nngh….”
Instead of answering I kneaded her full breasts and breathed my excited pant against her ear.
“My breasts… th-the nipples, touch them….”
Her erogenous zone. At the request to touch her own nipples my eyes went wide. She had never asked for anything during sex or foreplay before.
No, shi—
Won-chul’s face flashed through my mind. He was the one who had discovered her nipples were sensitive before me, who had toyed with them and made her come. Out of pointless spite I had deliberately avoided touching them myself. Se-eun had never said a word….
“…Honey—haaahn!”
When I stopped thrusting she looked up at me. I hadn’t meant to torment her, yet I twisted her nipples harder than I usually treated her.
“Nngh! Ah! Haaahn!”
She clung to me. The stalled pistons resumed—no, grew even stronger—driving between her thighs. I hadn’t wanted to imitate him. Yet in a head that suddenly felt flooded with blood, the image of my own hands on her nipples inevitably dragged Won-chul’s face along with it.
Augh!
Her nails dug deep into my back. Me rocking my hips while fondling her nipples, Se-eun gasping and holding me tight—this should have been a man’s proudest moment. Yet the sensation that Won-chul had slipped between us like static refused to fade.
Damn it, goddamn it!
Slap! Slap-slap! Slap-slap-slap!
“Hngh, ugh, u-ugh—!”
I thrust harder, trying to erase the image. Between the bounce of her breasts Se-eun threw her head back and sharp cries spilled out with every thrust.
“Honey, honeyyy, hngh, w-what do I do…hnnngh!”
The instant the word “honey” left her lips I crushed her against me. Cock buried to the root, the climax past the limit could not be held back.
Gulp, gulp.
I felt thick semen pouring from my tightened balls and filling her. A little different from ordinary sex, yet a climax I had tasted before—when I fantasized about Se-eun and Won-chul and worked myself alone. It felt the same.
We went at it twice more. Even I was surprised by how much my body could still move, and Se-eun looked satisfied. The sex had been very different from usual, yet the ending was the same: under the blanket we smiled without speaking, arms around each other, savoring the afterglow of love.
“Heh.”
“—Ah.”
Se-eun’s fingertip lightly brushed my nipple.
“What are you doing.”
“Oh my. You just made a dirty little sound, didn’t you?”
“No. I was just startled.”
“Does honey feel weird when I touch here too?”
“I said no.”
Even though I denied it she kept playing with them. What was good about a guy’s? Compared to Se-eun’s they were small and rough. …They should have been. The sensation was strange.
“…Nngh.”
At the involuntary sound playfulness bloomed in her expression.
“It feels good, doesn’t it.”
“I said it doesn’t….”
“Even though it does.”
Her playful fingers changed slightly. Even her teasing face seemed laced with seduction. She touched, pressed, rolled. Despite how many times I had already come, body and mind both answered her hands. The funny part was that I didn’t want her to stop. Fuck—I never knew a man’s nipples could feel this good. Was it because I had tormented hers so much today? Was this revenge?
“Kyaah!”
I grabbed her, hugged her from behind, and filled both hands with her heavy breasts, fingers never forgetting the nipples.
“Aii, haang…honeyyy….”
I felt like I could go again. How many times in one day? We might break the motel record from the invitation-man night. That was the thought when—
“…Honey, earlier you… thought about Won-chul oppa, didn’t you.”
What?
I must have misheard. When I froze with her breasts still in my hands, Se-eun’s hands covered mine and held them.
“…Right? I can always tell when honey is being cutely jealous.”
“….”
Was it that obvious? While I stayed silent she turned with a soft smile, cupped my face, and kissed my cheeks again and again—smooch, smooch.
“Cutely, honey. Mwah! The one I love is honey, you know.”
It looked as if she were trying to erase my jealousy and insecurity.
“…You weren’t against it?”
I was afraid. Even though I had said I would stop the moment she said she disliked it, I had never found the courage to ask her directly until now. Se-eun stayed quietly in my arms.
“…I don’t really know.”
Huh?
A short silence. She wriggled a little against my chest.
“I told you before that I like any version of honey, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Even now… um, it still feels that way. Aii, I don’t know. Just….”
She buried her face shyly against me.
“Do whatever honey wants….”
In the moment when Se-eun was endlessly lovable, what rose in my mind was the unfinished report I had never been able to listen to the end of….
Crazy bastard.
I took her by the shoulders.
“W-well then… about that….”
Ding.
While Minjae slept, Se-eun sat up beside him and looked at her phone.
He always asks things that are hard to answer.
The suggestion to deliberately provoke Minjae’s jealousy had been Won-chul’s advice the night before. Se-eun, who had no confidence in lying or acting, had fretted and finally settled on begging Minjae to play with her nipples. She had still felt reluctant, yet she had followed the advice because the conversation with Won-chul had clarified both what Minjae wanted and the outline of her own preferences. She liked the way Minjae looked when he was desperate. A taste that would never have surfaced in Se-eun’s ordinary life had been brought to the surface by Minjae and Won-chul.
Honestly.
He kept wanting to hear things from her, to see things. Se-eun didn’t reply.
Ding, ding—after several more chimes the phone finally fell quiet.
Really…
This man simply liked sleeping with her, that was all. Se-eun turned off the phone and quietly hugged the sleeping Minjae. The next time she met Won-chul they had decided to film their sex and show it to Minjae. She had vaguely sensed it, but she never expected Minjae would actually ask for something like that.
So this really is what you like, Minjae…
Any version of Minjae was fine. There had been no lie in those words.
And…
Even though no one was watching, Se-eun shook her head mid-thought.
S-still. This is for Minjae’s sake.
She squeezed his waist even tighter for no particular reason.