Everyday Life Returns to Seonyudo (2)
We spent a rather languid stretch of time inside the tent until Director Ryu Jinseong called for us.
When I tried to put on the earring-shaped artifact Hyeonseok had given me, I briefly wondered whether I'd need to pierce my ears—but the moment I tried it on, it simply clipped into place with no fuss at all, and that worry fluttered away at once.
"Hmm, is this how you're supposed to do it?"
"Let me see. Yeah, that should work. More importantly, how does a girl like you have zero interest in this kind of thing?"
Hey, I've only been a girl for a month and a half...!
But I couldn't say that out loud, so I simply told her I hadn't been interested. That only seemed to amuse Yeonseo more.
"Ohhh? No interest in accessories at all—until Hyeonseok gives you one, and suddenly you're all over it?"
"That's not it at all! Anyway, how do I activate the artifact?"
"Hmm. For me it's the feeling of channeling mana, so try it with the feeling of channeling divine power. And while you do that, picture the appearance you want to change into."
"The appearance I want to change into..."
I'd always preferred silver hair over this blond, so I pictured that. My hair gradually turned pure white, then lengthened as well. Snow-white silver hair cascading to my waist, and my amber eyes had shifted to a sapphire blue.
"S-so... how does it look? Does it look natural?"
I gave a little twirl and asked Yeonseo. She just stared at me blankly for a moment, then slowly approached, pulled out a mana-stone Polaroid camera from who-knows-where, and started snapping pictures of me.
"Whoa! The whole vibe changes like this? Quick, strike a pose!"
"What? Uh... l-like this?!"
"Yeah! Now like this!"
Before I knew it, Yeonseo had me striking all sorts of poses—a cat pose, looking back over my shoulder, tucking my hair behind my ear while pretending to eat something. Her energy was infectious, and I was starting to find it fun myself when the tent flap opened and someone stepped inside.
"The Director says the party's starting now, so we need to head ou—"
"Ah...?!"
It was Hyeonseok, sent by the Director to fetch us. I was mid-pose when the surprise made me lose my balance, and I tumbled straight into his arms.
"Uh... so... Charlotte?"
"I-I was just trying out the artifact you gave me... What do you think?"
Hyeonseok, who had caught me, slowly took in my transformed appearance, then set me down out of his arms.
"It suits you. Yeah. The different vibe is nice."
"R-really...?"
Hearing him say the change of atmosphere was good made me a little happy and a little embarrassed. I scratched my cheek and looked at his face—but he wasn't smiling.
Why? If he likes it, why is he making that face?
I hated how stupidly happy I'd been just a moment ago.
Why was I so happy? Why?! Hyeonseok isn't even smiling—he's making that face—and I was just standing there like an idiot...!
The heart that had been pounding so hard just moments before went cold. I no longer wanted to be here. I bolted out of the tent.
"Charlotte?!"
As I fled, tiny droplets began to fall from my eyes.
After Charlotte ran out, Hyeonseok and Yeonseo remained in the tent. The atmosphere had grown heavy from her sudden departure.
"Why did she run out all of a sudden?"
At Hyeonseok's mutter, Yeonseo smacked him hard across the back.
"You don't know? Hey! You tell a girl she looks good while wearing an expression like you've lost the whole world—of course she's going to take it the wrong way!"
"Ow! W-wait, what are you talking about? An expression like I've lost the world?"
Yeonseo tilted her head, then dragged him over to a mirror.
"Look! Is this the face of someone who thinks something looks good?"
"I... looked like that?"
"Yes! We finally had a good mood going and you ruined it, so take responsibility!"
"Even if you say that..."
"Ugh. More importantly, how was Charlotte earlier? That was the look she changed into with the artifact you gave her."
"Yeah, it was really good. Completely opposite of her usual vibe—it felt fresh."
"But if you say that with a face all crumpled up like this, do you have any idea how shocking that is for the person hearing it?"
Only then did Hyeonseok realize he might have hurt Charlotte. He was about to say he'd go look for her when Yeonseo grabbed his arm.
"Before you go, tell me. Is it your little sister again this time?"
"How did you...?"
"Every time I look at you, you're fiddling with that pendant. I know what's in it, so I understand—but Charlotte doesn't. So why did you suddenly think of your sister? I told you. Charlotte may look like your sister, but she isn't her. So look at her as 'Charlotte,' not as 'little sister.'"
"I know."
"If you know, then why?!"
"Because the goddess Partruna who appeared in Charlotte's body might be my little sister!"
Hyeonseok's sudden shout made Yeonseo flinch. Once she processed what he'd said, she stared at him in shock.
"What are you talking about...? Why would that goddess be your sister?"
"You were looking somewhere else when she left, so you didn't see—but the goddess, in Charlotte's body, said goodbye with the exact pose my sister always used when we parted."
"Even so, that pose was something other people did too, wasn't it? You can't just call her your sister based on that."
"No. That was a pose only my sister and I made up when we were little. No one else would know it."
"Then tell Charlotte that. She's been fretting over your dark expression this whole time."
"Yeah. Thanks. I'll make sure to tell her."
With that, Hyeonseok hurried out to find Charlotte. Watching him go, Yeonseo pulled out her device, contacted someone, then lay down under the blanket and spent the rest of the time laughing nonstop through a phone call.
I burst out of the tent and ran straight for the garden with the great tree ahead of me.
I didn't fully understand why I was running, but staying in that place had become too terrifying. Every expression he'd shown me until now suddenly felt like a lie. After seeing that face, I was afraid of him.
Were all the faces he showed me fake?
Before I knew it, I was under the great tree. I sank down, pulled my knees to my chest, and began to sob.
"Hic... Why... does my chest hurt so much... Why?"
I tapped at my chest, but the crushing, squeezing sensation and the sticky, unpleasant feeling kept pressing down on me. I didn't understand why I felt this way.
Of course, there had to be some reason Hyeonseok had made that face toward me. But while my head tried to reason it out, my heart kept whispering darker thoughts: Does he hate me? Was everything until now just politeness?
"More than that, why am I even like this? I didn't do anything wrong!"
I tried to stand, but the memory of his expression flashed back, my hands trembled, and I sank down again.
Leaning against the tree, I looked up at the sky. The red sunset had given way to a pitch-black darkness that matched my heart.
It was ridiculous, but even as the pain filled my chest, I still wanted to see him. I still wanted to talk to him.
"Haa... This is so stupid. I'm not even a real girl, and here I am acting like one. It's just pathetic."
If I'd been born a girl instead of a boy, would I have understood why I was like this right now? If I had, would it have been the same? Or would I have shrugged it off as nothing and just gone to the party with everyone?
Lost in those pointless thoughts, I quietly hugged my legs, buried my face, then lifted it and softly called his name.
"Hyeonseok..."
"You called me?!"
"Huh?!"
His voice came out of nowhere. I looked up in surprise to find him standing right in front of me, breathing hard, sweat on his brow—clearly he'd been running. The thought that he'd been searching for me made the pain in my chest vanish, and my heart began to pound hard again.
"Why... are you here?"
But I buried that feeling and snapped at him. He scratched his head, then sat down beside me.
"What? Why are you sitting?"
The moment he plopped down next to me, I scooted sideways, putting distance between us.
"Are you sulking?"
"What?! What are you talking about?! Why would I be sulking?!"
"Well, because I only said it looked good with words when I saw you like this, right?"
"Th-that's not it..."
"Really?"
"Ugh, n-no... I mean..."
Under his gaze, I gathered my lengthened hair in both hands and pressed it against my cheeks, hiding my face. Anyone could see it wasn't really hiding anything, but right now I just wanted to escape his eyes somehow.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I was thinking about something else and didn't really look at you, Charlotte. Is it okay if I look properly now?"
"Wh-what?! W-wait...!"
He suddenly took hold of my shoulders and leaned in close. While I was flustered and didn't know what to do, Hyeonseok's steady gaze on me made the heat rise so fast that I lost consciousness and collapsed right there.