A Woman's Reality
I couldn't make sense of what I'd just heard.
Take my clothes off, just like that? Was that... her kind of thing?
"What?! Are you insane? Why the hell would you tell me to strip all of a sudden?!"
The pain stabbing through my lower belly and pelvis had dulled, but it still came in sharp little jabs — prod, prod — and that only made her demand more infuriating.
She, however, simply looked down at my lower half with perfect calm.
"You're bleeding. Of course you have to take them off. It's not hygienic, either."
Only then did I notice the red stain soaking into my pants, and the metallic scent of blood.
"Wh... what is this...? What the hell..."
As I sat there reeling from the sudden bloodstain and the raw, coppery smell, she stepped closer and gently stroked my hair.
"It's okay. Everyone goes through this the first time. Just get those off, wash up, and change."
Her words settled me, if only a little.
"Yeah... okay..."
Following her advice, I stripped, went into the bathroom attached to the room, and showered. I washed away the blood that had dried in thin crusts along my thighs and elsewhere, then sank into the tub. Only then, submerged in the warm water, did I begin to understand what had happened — and that was when she poked her head in through the doorway.
"I pulled out some clothes and underwear from your bag, and I left some cloth with them. Just call me when you're out."
"Okay. Thanks."
I honestly hadn't seen this coming.
Even after my body had changed into a woman's, I'd never imagined I'd have to go through something like this.
A thick, unnameable feeling rose in my throat. I drew my knees up in the tub, wrapped my arms around my legs, and cried in silence.
Once I'd poured it all out, I felt surprisingly clear-headed.
So all those wild mood swings lately — had they been because of my period?
I was halfway into the clothes she'd left for me when my eyes landed on the cloth, and my vision went dark.
"How... am I supposed to use this? I mean, I get what it's for... I just don't know the method."
With no other choice, I cracked the door open and stuck my head out.
"Um... could you help me with this?"
She said sure and came over.
"Okay, so you do it like this—"
With her help, I learned how to tuck the cloth into my underwear so the blood wouldn't leak through. It was a little uncomfortable, but the material was soft enough that the sensation was strangely gentle.
"Thanks. For everything."
"Don't mention it. We help each other out. We're both women, after all."
At those words, I finally had no choice but to accept it. I was a woman now.
"So... that guy from earlier?"
"What, you're only asking now?"
"No, I just realized — I wasn't in my right mind at the time, but I feel like I caused a scene."
"Don't worry about it. He went back on his own just fine."
After that I leaned against the wall, rubbing my aching lower belly, staring blankly into space.
"Come to think of it, we never even introduced ourselves. I'm Charlotte Magnier. Just call me Charlotte."
"Seo Yeonseo. I'm from the Garam Settlement. You?"
"Me? I wasn't with any settlement. I was on my own until I ran into Uncle Dusik, and he brought me here."
"Hmm~"
She scooted over beside me, sat down, and pulled me into a hug.
"It must've been hard, being alone."
I couldn't stop the tears welling up again. I buried myself in her arms and cried.
I didn't know anymore. I'd endured nearly twenty years of suffering on the other side just so I could come back — and this was what I came back to?
Me, the world — everything was a wreck.
"Sorry. I think this is why I can't keep my emotions in check lately."
"It happens. I get like that too, you know? It's your first time, so it's fine. Especially at your age."
"Hey — I may not look it, but I'm an adult."
She stared at me with open disbelief, so I showed her through my watch.
"What? We're the same age. I'm twenty-two too."
"Really? Well, our first meeting was a little weird, but let's get along."
"Then, to commemorate—"
Calling it a celebration, she put her hands on my cheeks again and started squishing and stretching them, laughing the whole time.
"Th... an... ks..."
"Oh my, sorry. The texture's so nice and the temperature's just right — my hands kept going on their own."
"Ugh..."
I rubbed my stretched-out cheeks — and at the same moment, something seemed to shift down below. I flinched hard, shoulders jerking.
If I had to describe it, it felt like something hot and soft and squishy was coming out of me down there.
"God, this feels awful..."
"Well, what can you do? Once you're born a woman, you have to deal with this forever."
Yeah, but was I even born a woman...? I don't know anymore.
"More importantly — what are you two planning to do now? Heading straight back to that Garam place?"
"Not sure. We originally came here on a commission with Hyeonseok, so if there's another job we'll stick around a bit longer. If not, we'll have to head back."
"That so? Have you ever cleared a tower before?"
"Hmm, about four or five times?"
"Really? Then if you're free — want to come clear a tower with me tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow? Oh, right — they were supposed to run one in Mokdong today, weren't they? Looks like that fell through, though."
"Yeah. So I figured this was my chance to try a tower clear myself. I've got my reasons."
"Hmm~ A woman with a lot of secrets. Well, I don't mind. Sure. Let me go ask Hyeonseok."
"Huh? Right now?"
"Strike while the iron's hot, right? He'll say yes anyway. The guy's always itching for a chance to help someone. And it's not like you've got any impure designs on him."
"Wait — designs? I don't have anyth— nngh—"
I tried to get up and stop her as she headed for the door, but another wave of pain hit and I crumpled right back down.
"Just rest. I'll be right back."
After Yeonseo left, I moved to the bed and lay down flat.
"Haa... I have to feel this every single month? I'm going to lose my mind..."
I kept rubbing my belly against the relentless ache, and that sloshing sensation of something coming out down there was something I couldn't get used to no matter how hard I tried.
I'd meant to wait for Yeonseo to come back, but the exhaustion from traveling here caught up with me, and the urge to just ignore the pain was so strong that my eyes slipped shut before I knew it.
"What...? When did I fall asleep?"
I rubbed my eyes and sat up. The ache in my lower belly was still there, but compared to yesterday it was more than bearable.
"You're up?"
Yeonseo was combing her hair and tying it back. The soft sunlight falling across her made her look genuinely beautiful.
Her looks really are incredible... it's just the things she says that—
Yeonseo pinched my cheek with a wet little squish.
"Foxy. Thinking nasty thoughts again, aren't you?"
"Nnhh— I'm nuh—"
She let go.
"Hyeonseok said he's fine with it. Actually, he said he's glad he can help."
"Sounds like a good guy."
"Right? But it's so extreme it becomes a problem. That's why I'm the one cutting people off for him."
"Ahh~ So that's why you picked a fight with everyone who came near him?"
"Foxy. If anyone overheard that, it'd sound like you were the one trying to get close to him."
"I was not!"
"Pfft. Sure, if you say so. Go wash your face and come out — we need breakfast before the gathering."
"Got it."
I washed up quickly, changed, and headed to the cafeteria with her.
"Those clothes aren't ordinary, are they? Did you get them from a tower?"
"These? Yeah. Everything I'm wearing — and everything Hyeonseok's wearing — we got as tower rewards."
"I see."
"And this one — this is a pretty rare Artifact."
She slid her sleeve up with a soft rustle and showed me the bracelet on her arm.
"So that's an Artifact, huh? I suppose you can't tell me what it does?"
"No, it's nothing special. It just lets me see what a specific person will do in the future."
"What they'll do in the future?"
Only then did I understand the description she'd given of the version of me she'd seen.
Wait — she actually saw me doing that? More importantly... I actually do that...?
"That's right. Which is how I got to see our cute little Foxy putting on the charm."
"It was n-not charm...!"
We were still laughing when we reached the cafeteria.
"Yeonseo! Over here!"
That guy — Hyeonseok — had already claimed a table. Yeonseo and I quickly filled our trays and headed over.
Last night Yeonseo had come to me asking if I'd join the Mokdong tower clear, and I'd said yes.
We weren't heading back right away anyway, and if someone needed help, there was no reason to turn them down. So I'd been waiting for Yeonseo over breakfast when I saw her approaching — with that girl from before.
Yeonseo said she'd be right there, filled a tray alongside the girl, and came back to sit down.
The only thing that bothered me a little was that the girl sat down right next to me.
"Foxy. Just because he said yes doesn't mean you get to grab the seat beside him."
Yeonseo's tone was sharp enough to sting.
"Huh?! No! This is — I mean, I just—!"
The girl's face went scarlet. She shot up from the seat beside me and darted over to Yeonseo's side with a quick little whoosh.
"Don't be so hard on her. Anyone can make a mistake."
"Hmm. Was it really a mistake, though?"
"Ugh..."
The three of us ate and finally managed the introductions we'd never gotten around to.
"My name's Kang Hyeonseok. Same as Yeonseo — I'm with the Garam Settlement. We take commissions from other settlements now and then, like this one."
"I... I'm Charlot— ah!"
She bit her tongue, stuck it out with a wince, and scrunched up her face.
Even that was pretty cute. Cute enough to remind me of someone I couldn't see anymore.
I'd been trying to introduce myself properly, and somehow I'd bitten my tongue. My face burned with embarrassment.
God, why does this only happen in front of him...?
After we finished eating, Yeonseo and I headed toward the gathering point for the raid team.
Where had Kang Hyeonseok gone? Over there — handing out snacks to a bunch of little kids. Snacks that were supposed to be for himself, no less.
"See? What did I tell you? The second kids ask for snacks, he gives them all away."
"Well, if kids are asking, what are you supposed to do? It's just snacks."
"Haa. You really don't get it. Do you think luxury items like snacks are easy to come by these days? He worked hard for those."
Put that way, I could almost feel the sucker energy radiating off him, just like Yeonseo said.
Before long Hyeonseok caught up behind us, and Yeonseo glared at him.
"Those snacks were hard to get — why on earth did you give them away? Kids asking or not!"
"But they're kids. I've had plenty to eat, but those children probably never get the real thing because it's so hard to find. So I gave them some. I'm fine."
The way he said it — maybe it was the sunlight — he almost seemed to glow.
This guy... he's actually a really good person, isn't he?
"What do you think, Charlotte? Hyeonseok's a total soft touch no matter how you look at it, right?"
"Uh...? Well, his heart's in the right place, so isn't that fine? If kids asked me, I'd probably give them some too. Compared to those kids, I've had more than my share."
Yeonseo shook her head slowly from side to side.
"Aigoo. Birds of a feather really do flock together."
No. That wasn't it... It really wasn't like that... I was sure of it.
Really...!