This Old Man's About to Explode
My head hurts. It throbs like it's about to split open, and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.
"Ashu."
"Yeah, Mister."
"I clearly told you to do something similar, and I even gave you the signal to go easy."
"Sorry. But I couldn't help it! With you right there next to me, I just couldn't put on a half-assed show!"
"…"
"I wanted to show you something cool while you were watching. Can't you understand that?"
Understand, understand. Fine—I have to understand. If I don't understand you girls, who will?
But still… even so, firing off the Hell Decapitating Sword in front of the kids?
I must have been out of my mind. What was I thinking, calling this one over? I should have called Sitri instead.
Lethe let out another sigh at his own shortcomings.
The magic Astaroth had manifested was on a completely different level from what Lethe had demonstrated.
The Calamitous Flames of Hell—the absolute worst, strongest fire-element magic, capable of burning even the soul at the slightest touch.
At least she'd fired it into the sky. And thank goodness for the magic barrier. If it had spread anywhere else by accident, he'd be filling out dozens of death certificates by now.
Though "thank goodness" wasn't really accurate. The students' goodwill toward the Demon Kings was probably already at zero.
No one would be happy about having that kind of overwhelming magic flung around right in front of them.
First, win over the academy's public opinion! That plan seemed to have fallen apart from the very start. Good grief.
"Hands up straight."
"Okay! Got it!"
Snap! Astaroth snapped both arms up beside her ears.
Right after the lecture ended, he'd brought her straight to his office and immediately handed down the punishment of "kneel and hold your hands up for thirty minutes." Yet this Demon King showed absolutely no sign of struggling.
"Heheheh!"
She was even laughing like she was having the time of her life. At this point, it was starting to get scary.
"Ashu."
"Yeah!"
"Aren't you… tired?"
"Tired? Well, it's not like super hard or anything, but staying still like this is a little tough."
She said she was tired. Yes, she clearly said so herself. But isn't the normal reaction to struggle and groan when you're tired? Nobody in the world laughs "Heheh!" while claiming to be exhausted.
"Then why are you laughing?"
"That? Isn't it obvious! Because I'm here alone with you, Mister!"
"…"
Ah. Right. He'd forgotten. This one was the type who was fine with anything as long as she was by his side.
Memories from a few years ago suddenly came flooding back. The red-haired demon girl who'd desperately wanted to stay by his side no matter what—excessively energetic, and so single-mindedly straightforward it was almost too much.
How was a girl this starved for affection supposed to become a Demon King? He'd worked and worked to try to change that fate somehow.
But the result was still a Demon King who carried the moniker of Butcher—and was extremely attached to him.
"I told you to be careful, Ashu. I told you not to make enemies even here."
"Uh… I just used magic once. Does that make people enemies?"
"That wasn't ordinary magic. Who manifests the Calamitous Flames of Hell among a bunch of chicks?"
"Weird. Our kids use magic like that for fireworks and stuff."
Please, for the love of everything, stop comparing that place to this one. This is a completely different world from the place where people start by drawing blood the moment things go sideways. Lethe muttered that to himself.
"And you never know!"
"Never know what."
"They might actually like it, right?! Something this flashy and cool—those chicks have never seen anything like it! They don't know war, they don't know fighting! So they might just see my magic as something super sparkly and spectacular! Right, Mister?! Aren't I right?"
Yeah. You're right. Totally right. Of course you are.
"Gah!"
A knuckle-rap landed squarely on the crown of her head, and Astaroth clutched her head.
It hurts! Whine! She teared up, but now he couldn't tell if she was genuinely crying from the pain or angling for something else.
It wasn't just her body that had grown. Her head had gotten thicker too—she'd gotten cunning. One wrong move and he'd be the one getting eaten. He needed to stay sharp.
"Stop the nonsense and be as careful as you can from now on."
"But!"
"Ashu, didn't you come to the academy because you wanted to stay with me?"
Nod nod—
"So what are you going to do if the academy's students—if their patrons—tell you all to get out?"
"…Should I kill them?"
"You're the one who'll die for real."
"Sorry! I'll make sure that doesn't happen! Yeah yeah! I know!"
The one who claimed to know had just caused a massive incident, and this old man was really about to explode.
"I'll block every slander and check aimed at you from the outside. I'll block them—but you have to cooperate too. That's how we get to stay together… ahem, stay together, right?"
For a moment, the words "live together" had almost slipped out. If he actually said that, Astaroth's eyes would have spun.
He had to be careful. These Demon Kings had more possessiveness and obsession than expected. Saying "let's live together!" to them was like coating yourself in honey and walking up to a beehive.
"Okay, Mister. From now on I'll really be careful."
"…Thinking of the old Ashu, every time you added 'really,' you caused an even bigger disaster."
"Ah, not anymore! I've grown up! You can't think of me as that tiny little demon girl from before!"
"Is that so?"
"That's right! Look at this! My chest got super big! Huh?! And my butt is this… kyaah!"
So "grown up" meant her chest and butt, not her head. He was genuinely going to lose it.
"Eheh! Heheheh!"
"…Why are you laughing again?"
"Because it's fun! Imagine it. The others must be going crazy with anxiety right about now! The moment the lecture ended, you called me to your office, and the two of us went in alone!"
"If anyone overheard, they'd think we were doing something weird. I'm giving you a punishment right now."
"Mar, Sitri, El—they don't care about that! What matters is that you and I are alone together in the same space! Hehehehe!!"
For a moment, the thought crossed his mind: Has our Ashu gone crazy? But he soon shook his head.
Astaroth was perfectly sane. And she was making a perfectly valid point. Thinking back to the old days—whenever he somehow ended up alone with her, how had the other three demon girls reacted?
"Brother! Why, why are you with Ashu?!"
"I'll stay by your side now, Master!"
"…Move. Ashu."
She's being scolded right now—I caught her trying to sneak into my room. No matter how much he explained, the three girls wouldn't budge. They simply couldn't stand Astaroth being with Lethe.
So what about now? Had they changed from before? They'd gotten older—had they grown up a little?
…Changed, my ass. It's gotten even worse.
Letting out a sigh, Lethe slowly rose from his seat. Then, suppressing his presence, he crept very carefully, quietly, right up to the office door. And then—
Bang!—
"Hiek?!"
"Ugyagyagyak!"
"Ack."
"Kyaaaak!"
Thud-crash! Crash!—
How long had they been at this? The Demon Kings had been camped out in front of the door, eavesdropping.
Astaroth had been right. Apparently the fact that the two of them were alone in the room had bothered them immensely.
So of course they'd pressed their ears to the door, desperate to hear what was being said.
Marmar, Sitri, and El. These four women hadn't changed one bit….
…Wait. Four?
Huh? He hurriedly recounted the heads. One, two, three, and four. …Why four?
"Michaela?"
"Hic."
Good heavens. Why was a Hero mixed in among the Demon Kings? And not just any Hero—Michaela, the leader of the Heroes, known for harboring the greatest hostility toward the demon race?
"What are you doing here…."
"Ah, aah! Sir Lethe! I-it's not what it looks like! The Demon Kings forcibly dragged—"
"Mika came because she was curious what Master would say to Ashu, so she followed us."
"That's right, Brother. When we asked if she wanted to come along, she followed on her own."
"Truth."
"…??"
Even more confused, Lethe quietly looked at Michaela. Weren't you the one who hated the Demon Kings?
"Absolutely not! I, I just happened to be passing by!!"
Just happened to be passing by, saw the Demon Kings huddled in front of the door with their ears pressed to it, just happened to crouch down and eavesdrop with them, and just happened to get caught together with them.
After a brief moment of thought, Lethe decided to let it slide with silence. He had a feeling that arguing further would only make Michaela's voice louder.
Actually, this worked out well. To resolve the current situation, he needed opinions from people other than the Demon Kings.
"Everyone, come in for a moment."
"Oh, Brother is specially inviting us into your room…!"
"It's an honor. An honor, Master!"
"…Grateful."
"E-excuse me. Sir Lethe."
The space that had been empty just moments ago now felt packed full.
Four Demon Kings, one Hero, and for good measure a war hero. Personnel capable of wiping out a decent-sized nation in half a day were sitting clustered together.
Looking at this scene, what would the Empire's officials and the elves and dwarves say? Lethe entertained that slightly foolish thought, then cleared his throat and parted his lips.
"What should we do?"
"Pardon?"
"How should we handle the current situation. Ashu went and caused a massive incident."
At that, the three Demon Kings nodded with an "Aha!"
Certainly, Astaroth had gone a bit too far. Manifesting that terrifying magic in front of kids who could barely use basic spells. It would be strange if there weren't an uproar.
"Should we go find them one by one and tell them to shut their mouths, Brother?"
"If we drain a little blood, they'll quiet down on their own, Master."
"…Force. Best."
Haha. Lethe laughed once and covered his face with his hands. Demon race specialty, for fuck's sake.
"Are you all out of your minds?! Have you gone crazy?!"
Fortunately or unfortunately, Michaela was present at this gathering.
A Hero bound by destiny to stand against the Demon Kings, who instinctively wanted to compete with them. And who still held some lingering attachment to the war hero she had once so intensely admired.
"Haa… Sir Lethe. On behalf of the Demon Kings, I'd like to offer one suggestion."
"I'm listening."
An opinion the Demon Kings could never produce even if they died and came back to life. At that fact, Michaela straightened her back with a little swagger. Feeling a strangely swelling sense of superiority and pleasure, she continued.
"Why don't we just form a Magic Club while we're at it."