The Tiresome Ship of Theseus
I've lived as a man for some twenty years, but I don't feel all that much resistance to having become a woman.
Ah, of course it's a little inconvenient. That's purely a matter of control, though.
When you watch ghost movies, they move in all these bizarre ways, don't they? Crawling around with their bellies turned to the sky, or leaping about with their bodies twisted at grotesque angles. That's all because the handling is clumsy. Think of it in video game terms: mixing up the forward, back, and turn keys and slamming into a wall.
Of course, I'm not doing that now. I didn't ask Gyu-jin to take the handcuffs off because I needed to get used to this body on a whim. Having my real body back is just too awkward, that's all.
Even so, I can imagine that having your gender flipped would throw a person into confusion. No—even before gender, just looking different would be enough. Even if I weren't human anymore, I still come equipped with that much empathy.
Gaining or losing weight, getting older or looking younger—not that kind of change. If it were a change on the level of becoming a completely different person, of course they wouldn't recognize you.
What is it that keeps a human remaining that same human? Appearance? Memory? Internal organs?
Ah, if someone boringly says "the soul," I'll be a little disappointed. That's something you wouldn't even know until you die.
This is where that endlessly recycled Ship of Theseus comes in. Not that I'm trying to have some philosophical discussion.
Anyway, I was just saying. Doesn't it sound genuinely fun, though?
Some guy who looks about fifty suddenly becomes a pretty girl. What would his family think? He serenely declares that he is their husband, their father. Would they believe him?
Not a chance. They'd be lucky if they didn't just throw him out as some lunatic who'd shown up on their doorstep. They might report him to the police as a con artist, or even do him physical harm. It would be hard to call it a good thing by any stretch.
But it's not entirely a bad thing, either. Wouldn't becoming a pretty girl still be better than remaining a drab, gloomy man? And if a guy in his fifties becomes a pretty girl, his lifespan goes up too!
That's not all. If he already has a wife and children, he's already left descendants. When his appearance changes, he'll feel the anxiety of being rejected by his family for just a little while—and then comes the narrative of being accepted by a family who says appearance doesn't matter. That process of conflict rising and then resolving can't help but feel delicious.
That's why I'm granting this agent's wish. Just randomly rewriting a human's composition takes a tremendous amount of power. But simply granting what that human wishes for is actually an act that gives me power.
Ah, is that why people thought I was a goddess? Because I granted their wishes, one way or another? All I really did was save their lives, just once. Strangely enough, they all thought those things were possible because I granted their wishes—whether it was revenge, saving people, or becoming a hero.
Anyway, this time is the same. I only told this man to picture the pretty girl he considered his ideal type. I just granted that wish.
"Umm... did it work? Ah—ah, my voice...?"
And so I could look with satisfaction at the agent who'd become a pretty girl. A youthful face, and a figure that was anything but. Even a men's suit couldn't hide that chest—it was visibly swelling out, plump and full. The waist, well, men's clothes are baggy to begin with, so there was a bit of extra fabric hanging around.
Hmm. A little extra service. I'll change the clothes to women's while I'm at it. Black stockings are purely my personal preference, so I'll throw those in as a bonus.
To the agent, bewildered by her transformed appearance, I spoke gently.
"There. I've changed you into the form you wanted. You've been rejuvenated into a pretty girl, so now you can just enjoy living. You've lived as a man, so try living as a woman too, and have fun with it. Of course, what you've built up won't disappear. Your career, your professional skills—those will still be the same. But your human relationships will have no choice but to change, won't they? Hehe... Enjoy yourself for a month. But if your family won't accept you—well, if you want, I'll put you back the way you were."
"Uh, you'll put me back?"
The agent, who'd been looking at herself on her phone's selfie camera with a despairing expression, heard my words and made a face as if that were the last thing she'd expected.
Did she really think I was a bad person? That hurts, you know. Of course this is for my own amusement, but she wanted this herself. It's unfair.
"Of course. I changed you because you wanted it. If that hadn't been the case, I wouldn't even have tried. So now, could you move me to the room next to Helena's? Since I came over with Helena, I think it would be good to have Helena give me a name."
So I cleared up a slight misunderstanding and stated my original business. How anxious must Helena be by now? She's come to a strange world where she can't even communicate, and even if she isn't tied up like me, she's locked up all the same.
"...I've just had my body changed, so I don't think I can take action right away. Could you wait a little? Other people need to come, and I need to prove that I'm me before I have that kind of authority."
"Ah, this order-of-operations problem!"
And then I realized—oh no. If I hadn't turned this man into a pretty girl, this would have gone smoothly. I just got excited and did it, and now it's like this!
"If you turn me back into a man, I can place you next to Miss Helena's interrogation room right away, but..."
"Come on, that's no fun. And I think you're misunderstanding something... I'm cooperating with you people just so we can get along without anyone's face turning blue. If my freedom is excessively infringed upon, I can't put up with it anymore. I'll go where I want to go."
The agent, who became a pretty girl because she wanted to, was now acting like she hadn't. To get to Helena right away, doing as she said would be the smooth path, sure. But to let her fully enjoy a pretty girl's life, I needed to be a little stubborn.
Sigh. Why am I so kind? I could just pretend to give in and turn her back into a man, but now I have to play the villain too. I'm even giving her an excuse—that she wanted to go back to being a man, but I wouldn't allow it, so she couldn't.
Well, this is all for the sake of watching interesting stories. I'll just have to put up with it. If it's for the touching narrative of a family that accepts their head of household even after his appearance changes, I don't mind being called a willful bitch by these people. They'll realize I'm not a bad person as we live together anyway.
Hmm. I'm not a person to begin with.
"Ah, is it faces turning red? Though there are expressions like turning blue or going white, too."
Muttering whatever came to mind, I headed for the closed door. I carefully worked my handcuffed hands to turn the doorknob, and of course it was locked. Had Gyu-jin locked it and run?
Of course, I don't particularly need to come and go through doors the way humans do. It isn't as if I have some binding that requires an invitation to enter, like certain nocturnal races. But just as when in Rome, you follow Roman law. They're humans, so I'm trying to follow their customs, in my own way. Even if it's closed, I should go out through the door.
So whether it was locked or not, I just walked forward.
Thud.
"...Ow. Why won't I pass through? Did you install something on the door?"
"Ah, this entire building is made of materials that block mana. In case there are otherworldly beings who might try to escape intending to do harm. If you maintain a friendly relationship with us, Sister, we can release you to move about freely as much as you like, but for now..."
"Huh. I don't think that's the problem."
Blocking mana or whatever—I know that doesn't particularly affect me. Just a moment ago I extended my thought-form and went to look at Helena. It seems I don't particularly handle mana or anything like that. The restraints, to begin with, don't hinder me at all except making movement inconvenient.
The problem was the fact that I couldn't pass through the door itself. My thought-form could pass through just fine, so why?
Ah, maybe only the door has some special treatment, and the walls don't? So I just walked toward the wall. And again—thud. All I managed was to bang my forehead.
"This can't be... You people actually had technology that could imprison me!"
"That's right. Now, have you found the will to negotiate with us? We're not trying to demand anything difficult. You, Sister, won't do anything dangerous to us, and we'll help you adapt to this place. We'll teach you the culture here, and pass on the knowledge you need to settle. There are already many races who've crossed over from other worlds and adapted, so you could talk with them as well."
I don't actually need to negotiate. If I just want to see Helena, I can always extend my thought-form and go look. But that's me looking one-sidedly from this side. Helena can't see me or feel me. How anxious would she be?
Of course I could move a pen over there or something to let her know I'm nearby. But wouldn't that scare her? Humans tend to fall into terror when something happens beyond their perception.
"All right, let's negotiate. Then you'll move me to the room next to Helena's right away?"
"Of course. First, when Mr. Gyu-jin brings the restraints, you'll put them on. Second, you'll return me to the way I was."
I know the restraints have no effect on me, so I can put on as many more as they want. If they hang even more stuff on me it'll get a bit inconvenient, but if I think of them as accessories, it might be fine.
But turning back into a man is absolutely not happening!
"Aww, I told you the second one is no. Do you know how hard it is to reconstruct a human body? Talk to me in a month. The restraints, well, if that's what it takes for you people to feel at ease, I can put on as many more as you like."
"...Is this power something you can only use once a month?"
"I'm not telling."
I could turn her back into a man anytime, actually. I just didn't want to. So I shut my mouth, and the agent nodded with a satisfied face, having apparently decided that was the reason.
"I see. A power of this magnitude is a bit of a burden even for you, Sister. Understood. Mr. Gyu-jin, you may come in."
She seemed to have made up a reason on her own and been convinced by it. That's fine by me.
The moment both sides thought they'd made a satisfactory deal, the door opened and Gyu-jin came in, holding a tangle of leather straps branching out in several directions.
He's not seriously planning to put all of those on me, is he...?