Recharge
Helena had always thought of gods as nothing more than hypocrites—or else con artists out to fleece humanity.
That was all she had ever believed. But after a few days with Yeonmin, she found herself facing a truth that made her chest ache.
They had simply been used by humans.
People commonly held that gods were great, that they possessed some kind of authority, that they could bestow miracles and mercy upon humanity. But those beliefs were what made a god into that kind of being. Cause and effect had been reversed all along, hadn't they?
It was not that humans existed because of gods. It was because humans existed that gods could persist at all. Humans held faith, and so a god did something in answer to that faith; the faithful, seeing that form, grew even more steadfast in their belief. That cycle.
Of course the gods themselves would have been glad to grow stronger. Gods whose origins had been fixed by the wishes of their worshippers would have found meaning and fulfillment in living up to their names. A goddess of fertility and abundance would have felt happiness in making the land more fertile and feeding her followers well. A god of song and wine would have been content so long as there were more bars.
And if they showed no interest in anything else, it was not because they did not care whether humans died out there. It was because they truly had no power in that direction. A fanatic who, standing before a gang of armed robbers, believed without a shred of doubt that their god would protect them—such people were rare. Without that degree of faith, a god would not move. Even if they saved someone who did not believe in them that deeply, it was uncertain whether it would add to their own power.
The same went for unbelievers like herself, and for people who despised and hated the gods. If a god had the ability to save them and had simply left them to their fate until now—then what sin had all those who had been sacrificed committed, to be so ignored? If saving them would only earn resentment, they simply left them alone.
Now that she had become a person of an entirely different world, those principles were beginning to make sense. In the end, gods and humans had merely been in a mutually beneficial relationship. It had never been a matter of one party being worshipped and the other doing the worshipping.
And among them, Yeonmin was a goddess who never put her own authority first. That was why she had so readily crossed worlds for Helena's sake—for nothing more than the pure desire to watch the child she had saved live happily.
"You foolish goddess..."
Yes. She really was a foolish goddess. Standing under the water streaming from the showerhead, Helena muttered it as if she were chewing the words and spitting them out.
She no longer even had worshippers offering her their faith. And yet, without a care for that, hadn't she expended her power at the gate to protect Yegyeong and Suhyeon? Seeing her give no thought whatsoever to her own well-being, Helena felt a surge of resentment that Yeonmin had truly been used by people's faith in that other world.
A last place to lean on for those who had nothing. The Goddess of Compassion who came to the abandoned. What image would such people have of Yeonmin? Devotion and comfort that asked for nothing in return, surely. That gentle nature and that innocence must have originated there. And humanity's ugly desire for something like maternal love must have shaped Yeonmin's appearance.
Not that she disliked Yeonmin's beautiful form. But perhaps even that inclination toward beautiful people had come from the humans who placed their hopes in her. And it was not even in the sense of wanting to take such a beauty as a partner, or going further and making her into a toy. It was simply: beautiful things are good, so I want to make everything beautiful. That was the childish thought she was having.
And because Yeonmin had that childlike quality, Helena's insides burned all the more. Just today, she had been on edge wondering if Yeonmin might collapse at any moment—and the instant they got home, hadn't she sprawled out on the sofa? And then, after reading Helena and Yegyeong's expressions, she had even gone and said she wanted to wash up too. When she did not even sweat, and only ever gave off that warm, sweet scent.
Helena did not know how to make Yeonmin use less power. She had just figured lying down would be better than moving around, so she had simply made sure Yeonmin could not get up from the sofa. Even then, this was a goddess who was hard to leave alone. Hadn't she screamed the moment Helena stepped away for a second? Yeonmin had brushed it off as a cramp in her leg, but Helena might not have any common knowledge about gods, and still she could guess.
That she was the only person who could give Yeonmin power, and that she had to stay by Yeonmin's side.
I don't know if I'm a worshipper or not. I don't know if I'm sending Yeonmin my faith, either.
But when she massaged Yeonmin's calves, when she stretched those delicate toes by pulling them out—even with stockings in between, hadn't Yeonmin shown a clear reaction to that contact alone? Letting out a moan that, if overheard, would have sounded rather indecent, her expression growing considerably more at ease. That was clearly her receiving power from Helena's touch.
So she shook off even the temptation of the warm water that made her mind go languid and wanted to keep her in the bathroom, and Helena hurried through her shower. To return to her own goddess. Because for her to live, Helena had to recharge her faith.
Helena's honest feeling was that she grew anxious if she was apart from Yeonmin even for a moment.
Happiness isn't a momentary emotion.
It's something that gets charged up, isn't it?
Even just lying around at home, it fills right up!
Home is the best.
Gotta crawl around.
It had already been four hours since I'd gotten excited about having a nest of our own. Helena and Yegyeong had finished dinner and were talking about going to bed or not, but my wriggling hadn't ended. Well, of course—enjoying the house was just too much fun!
"Um, Yeonmin. The house is being kept clean by the purification system, but... crawling around on the floor like that is a bit..."
"Hiiing. Do I have to walk even at home? Lying down is more comfortable. I don't wanna get up in this house. I'm gonna crawl around."
"Ah, well. This is Yeonmin and Helena's house now, so I suppose it's fine if you do..."
"If this foolish goddess says that's what she's going to do, what can we do? Just leave her be."
Ugh. But these humans, trapped in their preconceptions and hopelessly unenlightened, seemed to feel resistance to rolling around and crawling at home. A foolish goddess?! That's too much.
"But if you just roll around like that, how are you going to get up onto the bed?"
Even after teasing me like that, Helena seemed privately worried. Speaking in that blunt tone, and yet her eyes were full of concern. Heheh. So innocent.
If it really came down to it, I could just lift my body onto the bed with my thought-form. But because I said I was just going to stick to the floor, she took it at face value. Wanting to tease her just a little for that, I answered with a perfectly straight face.
"Hmm. Should I sleep on the floor?"
"...Hah."
"Heh?"
After that short sigh, Helena scooped me right up. My heart lurched before I knew it. No—should I say it went thump-thump-thump-thump? Apparently the human body has this chronic condition where your heart races when a beautiful person lifts you like a princess! Ah, if it isn't a disease, maybe I should call it some kind of instinctive whatever. Anyway, it isn't a bad thing.
So I stayed quietly nestled against her with my pounding heart, and Helena carried me straight to the bed.
"Yegyeong, you should get some sleep too. We'll turn in first."
"Ah, yes. Have a good night."
"Heheh, carrying me like this, don't we look just like newlyweds?"
"Th-that's nonsense."
She'd been giving Yegyeong a curt goodnight, but the moment I made a joke, Helena's face went bright red again. That expression was just so cute.
"I'm kidding. Heheh. Let's go to sleep. You should rest up for tomorrow too, Helena, shouldn't you? We have so many more of this world's interesting things to experience and enjoy."
"...Yes. We should. You too, Yeonmin."
And so a smile came out on its own. They say you can't spit on a smiling face. Helena said that in a softened voice as she carefully set me down on the bed.
Ah, I might really fall for her if she keeps this up. Seeing it in first person, this kind of scene is just so thrilling and overwhelming. But I can't become Helena's lover. She has to meet some other pretty, handsome human and be happy. I'm fine just playing the auntie role.
See? Even though she's blunt and teases me, the moment Helena lies down next to me, she pulls me into her arms to sleep. This affection-starved beautiful girl... no, she's a beauty now. Who's going to take her away?
I'd like to stroke Helena as she gently holds me and tries to fall asleep, but my arms are bound, so I can't. I thought about extending my thought-form to give her back a little pat—but then sharp-eyed Helena would probably wake up in a fright. I'll just stay still and get up once she falls asleep.
...The truth is, I don't need to sleep. In the dead of night when everyone else is asleep, I'll slip out of the house. Wander around the villa, get acquainted with the people whose days and nights are flipped, and make some things to do together!