The Ultra-Thin Condom Boom (1)
One of the issues that cropped up after I separated out the daily necessities aisle for better management was how to introduce all these various everyday items to the Murim folk. They were convenient for me, sure, but total strangers to them. Things like panties or cat food sold somehow, but the real problem was the other stuff. Especially the condoms and other contraceptives that just sat there gathering dust.
I'd pondered it once before. How do Murim people handle their first periods? Contraception? Sex lives? But I couldn't exactly grill Yoo Hwa-yeon or Hwa Hyo-seon about it without sounding like a total perv, so I'd just kept it as idle curiosity. Misunderstandings could arise, you know? They might call me a creep and bolt.
But then it happened. The perfect situation where condoms were needed arose at last.
Having ten kids or twenty—if it satisfied them, fine. But the problem was they weren't satisfied. The more heads in the family, the heavier the burden on the parents.
What if I preached the importance of contraception to these Murim folks? Not only would I clear out the pesky inventory, but I'd spark a whole new market.
I'd overheard earlier that the guy next door had twelve siblings? It wasn't just this man's issue. Every other household seemed to grapple with the same problem. That's why the man was clutching his head at the table, letting out a deep sigh.
"Haa."
Straight-up offering the product might freak him out, so I set down a cup of hot tea and sat carefully. First, I'd hear his story.
"Do you know why I sent them home first?"
His family had finished eating and headed back. They'd wanted him to come along, but he'd insisted on staying behind.
"I don't think I can make it through the night. That beautiful wife of mine... I just can't keep my hands off her...!!! Kuhk!"
The man was a total stud. Looked mid-forties, yet even after conceiving his eighth, he was thinking of sharing the bed.
"But how the hell did you dodge seven kids' eyes to make the eighth...?"
The older ones might sleep separately, but the little ones bunked with parents. How'd he pull it off? Multiple rooms?
"Oh, you know, the barn, backyard, veranda, whatever..."
Oof. Outdoors. Ahem. Love makes anywhere work, huh?
"Y-you're incredible, sir..."
"Nah, I'm nothing special. The neighbor started at dusk and didn't finish till noon."
"Whoa, insane."
"That's the average around here."
Murim averages were off the charts. What did they eat to live like that? Looked like this world was full of stamina freaks.
Ah. Aaaah. Feels like the genre of the novels I knew just flipped...!!!
Maybe to steady himself, the man sipped the warm tea I'd brought.
"Haa. From now on, we'll sleep separately. Can't have a ninth."
He sighed, setting down the cup. Now's the moment? I pulled out the "Ultra-Thin Condoms 3-Pack"—iridescent under the light like a rainbow ring—and placed it before him.
The tiny box popped up like a half-ring, and his eyebrows shot up.
"What's this?"
"An it-item to boost harmony between husband and wife."
"It... what?"
"Do you know about contraception?"
"Avoiding pregnancy?"
"I'm not married myself, so I don't know firsthand, but I've heard things. They say family planning is crucial once you wed and start a household. A ninth kid would be a burden, right? This makes it possible."
If I sold it to him and it worked, he'd spread the word. Then guys like him would flock here, boosting condom turnover. Solid strategy, if I do say so. Modern necessities conquered Murim too.
The man caressed the box like it was some elixir.
"You eat it?"
"No, not edible."
I tore open the packaging, pulled out a vitamin-C-like sachet, ripped it, and revealed the contents. Three dull rubber condoms gleamed.
"Looks like a ring, but the middle's sealed. And why's it so slippery?"
He poked it curiously.
"Not a ring."
I explained in detail—straight from high school sex ed. It seemed enough; his face lit up with joy as I went on.
"So, with this, no worries about kids?"
"Not foolproof, but it lowers the odds. Plus, prevents diseases and great for hygiene."
"How much? I'll take it!"
"50 coins, sir."
"50... don't have that on me now."
He pondered, then stood abruptly.
"Can I come back tomorrow? I'll bring the full amount."
"Sure."
"Thanks, boss! Really!"
With that, he dashed home.
The next day—
I was at the counter greeting customers when yesterday's man appeared.
"Here for that! 50 coins!"
I handed over the reserved condoms from below.
"Here you go."
"This solves everything."
"Remember: use once, toss it. And don't tear it."
There were female contraceptives too, but explaining those was beyond me. Sex ed skipped the details anyway—worried it'd give kids weird ideas. Not critiquing modern education now, but yeah, it lacked.
"Have a good time, sir!"
He bolted out like yesterday, speedy steps fading.
No ninth kid anytime soon. And that evening—
"One more!"
I froze mid-cleanup, door half-closed. Already used them? Not even a day?
"One... more?"
"50 coins for just three inside."
Three lasts three days at one a day?
"H-here."
"Thanks!"
And next morning, sweeping leaves out front, there he was again, approaching from afar. Yoo Hwa-yeon beside me stuck out her tongue.
"That guy's back?"
"Yeah."
Insane? How many rounds a night? Did his body hold up?
His face glistened with sweat—bursting with vigor.
"Haha! One more!"
"Again...?"
"Problem?"
"No, but you okay?"
He flexed his arm muscles proudly.
"Fit as ever."
Yeah, he looked it. Beyond my comprehension. Enviable? Awe-inspiring?
"If I had more coin, I'd buy a bunch at once."
"Good you're buying one by one. Bulk might mean you'd use 'em all at once."
"Why not?"
Give up. Total surrender.
"Here."
"Thanks."
Off he went, quick steps again. Three packs sold in two days. Stock remained, but he'd return tonight anyway. Fine by me—him buying all or word spreading.
Pondering the next item to push, Yoo Hwa-yeon approached.
"Boss."
"Yeah?"
"What's that guy buying?"
She held an ultra-thin condom box. Makes sense—she was in the break room during my explanation yesterday.
"This? A contraception tool, basically."
"Con... contraception?"
"Yeah. Why so embarrassed?"
"N-no... just caught off guard."
Her face flushed. That shy about it? It's beautiful. And she's an adult. Like she's never...?
"You tried it, boss?"
"Tried it?"
I hadn't, but knew how from class.
"You know well?"
"Pretty well. Sex ed..."
Whack! She slammed the condom box down. Eyes iced over—pissed, big time.
What the... why?
"So that's it?"
"Huh? What's 'it'?"
"Nothing. Got it."
Cold nod, icy expression. They say women nodding like that in chill mode are most furious. No clue what triggered it—frustrating.
"Hey! Yoo Hwa-yeon! What's up? Don't smash merch when mad! Bad!"
No reply, no glance back—she stormed inside.
What the hell? Scary.
Swoosh, sweep— I finished the leaves, mulling reasons.
Next day. Wonder if he'd come? Peering out, suddenly a horde of men approached, chattering loudly.
Store visible from afar, fingers pointing—group customers.
"Hwa-yeon, group incoming."
"......I'll prep."
Still mad? Chilly vibes. Gotta ask later.
Men neared; I greeted brightly.
"Welcome! What can I get you?"
The lead elder scanned around, whispered to me.
"Boss, heard you got something great here?"
"Pardon?"
"You know. Ring-shaped but not a ring. Defies heaven's will."
Instantly clear. Condom groupies.
"Condoms?"
"Ah, yeah... condom, they call it."
Men nodded.
"Heard from next door's Jung-gang. Gimme lots!"
So that guy's name was Jung-gang. As predicted—word spread fast. Speed surprised me, but hey, buzz was real.
Soon, not just ramen crowds, but condom seekers too. Modern convenience store rooting in Murim—felt good.
Yoo Hwa-yeon rushed out with ramen, but I shook my head.
Not ramen, Hwa-yeon. Never heard of anyone getting rich selling condoms forever, but maybe I'd be the first.
That rich guy!